Always

By Shannon Simpson

Have you ever met someone and known immediately your life would never be the same? That's how it was when I met Brian. One smile and my world was rocked to it's core. 

            Everyone has that one love they can't forget. The one that spoke to your soul, not just your heart. A

• Language: English
• Publisher: Words Matter Publishing
• Release date: Oct 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9781949809435

Shannon Simpson

As a child, I wanted to be a teacher. I realized around the beginning of my teenage years I didn't have the temperament to be a teacher. My first vampire book was Forever and the Night by Linda Lael Miller. I loved it! Over time I read every vampire book I could. A few years back a dear friend recommended Twilight. Just because I'm older doesn't mean I can't dive into a YA novel ever now and then. I'd seen the movie but didn't know it was based on a book. The thrift store I worked at got in one of the mass market copies of Twilight with the movie cover. I took it as a sign. I read it and was hooked. Thankfully it was after all the books had been released. Patience isn't one of my virtues. I loved them! That was the only copy of that particular edition of Twilight to be donated during the time I was at that job. Witches have always appealed to me. I can't say what it is about them, the powers, or the spells; maybe it's the flying. Whatever the reason I decided to give a short story about witches a try. Nothing overly complicated. It was a little fantasy about an ordinary girl hiding the fact she was a witch and the boy next door. I loved writing it. I took a chance and combined my love of vampires and witches and suddenly the Spellbound Saga was born. This journey has barely begun, but I can't wait to see where it goes. I hope you'll come along for the ride.

Book preview

Chapter One

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T here you are, Casey. Have you seen your uncle? I scooted a white rocker up beside my niece and sat down.

She looked at me with a frown. Excuse me, Ma’am?

I shook my head with a laugh. Ma’am? Casey, are you feeling alright?

She patted my hand with a smile. I’m sorry, Ma’am. My name is Shylea. Long-lashed brown eyes looked at me kindly from a heart-shaped face.

What nonsense are you saying, Casey? I smoothed my blue dress around my long feeble legs. It was chilly on the porch. I should have grabbed a blanket before I ventured outside.

Casey stood and made her way inside. I thought she was going to leave, but a moment later she returned with a green blanket. She placed it over my legs. Is that better, Ma’am?

I patted her cheek. Thank you, sweet girl. You always help your Aunt Shay Shay. I touched her long sandy brown hair. You get prettier each time I see you. How old are you now?

My name is Shylea, Ma’am. I’m twenty-five.

I frowned. She was so much like me when I was her age. I’d argue just to argue. Casey, you are being very ornery today. What’s wrong? Your eyes are sad.

I’m fine. She looked away. A tear slipped down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away.

I took her hand. I’m a good listener. Tell Aunt Shay Shay what’s wrong.

Another tear slipped down her ashen cheek. My boyfriend broke up with me. After two years he said he didn’t love me. For over a year he has been saying he did, but now he says that was a lie. That he thought in time, the feelings would grow, but after two years it was time to accept they were never going to. He is fond of me, but he doesn’t love me. She wiped at her eyes again. I thought we would marry and have a family. She gave a harsh laugh. What a fool I was.

I shook my head. You aren’t a fool, Casey. Never think that. Men are a special kind of stupid. I laughed. That is what your Grann used to tell me. Sometimes they get scared when their feelings become involved. You don’t stay with someone for two years and not have feelings for them. Fondness may last six months, a year max. Not even good sex would make a man stay for two years if he didn’t have feelings for the girl.

Her face flamed. She glanced away. He didn’t even tell me to my face! He texted me! Who does that?

That is terrible! I patted her hand. Hmmm...I think your young man was afraid to end things face to face because he knew you would see he was lying.

Her brow furrowed. I don’t follow.

He loves you.

She shook her head. He doesn’t. If he did, he wouldn’t have broken up with me. What he said was unforgivable.

Trust ol’ Shay Shay. I know how men think. Your uncle was terrified of his feelings for me. I laughed. Of course it was because of his wife.

Her eyes widened. His wife! Uncle... She broke off with a frown. I’m sorry, I don’t know your husband’s name.

I shook my head. The kids of today were so forgetful. A broken heart and they forgot their own name. That boy has really messed with your head. Uncle Brian is your favorite uncle. I winked at her. Don’t worry; it will be our little secret.

She laughed. Your husband was married when you met him?

I nodded. I’ve told you the story before.

Would you tell it again? Please.

It was my favorite story. How could I say no? With a nod, I turned my gaze to the view. Trees in different shades of green, orange and yellow met my gaze. It was the early days of fall when we met, much like now. I was twenty-six at the time. I still lived with my parents. Something my friends found odd. Single people my age couldn’t wait to move out. I’m sure your Grann and Papa feared I would never leave. I laughed.

Growing up in the country the way we did, your mother, uncle and I were very sheltered. Me more than the others being the middle child. I was working at a convenience store in Clemson, South Carolina. It was one of those jobs I never wanted but loved after I got it. I had made a friend within the upper management of the company, Derek, who I had a crush on. At that point, I had no idea he was gay. I shook my head. I’d been so naive back then.

Her laugh drew my attention. I looked at her questioningly.

She flushed. I shouldn’t have laughed. I was just surprised by what you said. How could you not have known?

Sheltered, remember? Even though I was twenty-six, I had very limited experience with the opposite sex. I had never been on a date. I was mostly a homebody.

Her eyes widened. You never dated?

I shook my head. I was vastly different in those days. I motioned to my body. My hair was a beautiful chestnut color, not this salt and pepper I have now. It hung in waves down my back. I miss it, but these old hands can’t brush it like they used to. My two best features were my hair and my long-lashed brown eyes. The rest of me was overweight by way more than a hundred pounds. I cringed. Even after all these years, I couldn’t bear to think of the actual number I weighed back then. Falling in love was what I needed to lose the weight. Of course, it didn’t happen right away. It wasn’t until sixteen years later when I finally lost the weight. Hmmm...I’m getting ahead of myself.

How did you meet Uncle Brian? She leaned forward.

"I had been manager at Save-Now for a few months. The store in Henderson, North Carolina was in need of a manager ASAP. Derek asked me if I would check out the store. At first, he just wanted me to help staff it while a manager was found. Once he got me there, he set out to get me to take the store. Derek knew I lived at home. He knew I had never lived alone. He thought it would be good for me. I was looking to make a change and was easily talked into it. He knew if he asked I wouldn’t say no. Back then I’d believed our friendship was real.

Within a week I had moved and was manager. The vendors were very nice and receptive to new management, all but one, Tim, one of the beer vendors. He had gotten by with whatever he wanted from the previous manager. He was cocky and full of himself. Instantly we were at odds. I laughed, remembering Tim’s dislike. He thought I would give in and let him have his way if he flirted with me, but he learned hell would freeze first. By the third week, he had transferred to a new route."

Is that when Uncle Brian entered the picture?

I glared at her. Am I telling this story or are you?

Her cheeks flushed. Sorry.

Patience, young lady. I took pity on her. It was never my strong suit either, except with Brian. He made sure of it. I’m getting ahead of myself. I squeezed her hand. I remember that day like it was yesterday. My office had a big picture window allowing me to see into the store. I was working on paperwork when my employee, Leslie, informed me the beer vendor was there. I looked up, and my first image was of him bent over, his backside in the air. I closed my eyes remembering the view. He had a palm-able ass. I put my hands out before me and made a little squeezing motion. He still does.

She laughed. Aunt Shay Shay!

I laughed. I’m old, my girl, not dead!

She shook her head. You are one of a kind.

A good thing. The world couldn’t handle two of me. Hmmm...where was I...oh yes, Brian’s ass. My mind drifted back to that day.

*

That is a nice backside. Navy blue cargo shorts were stretched tight across it. I glanced at Leslie.

Leslie nodded. Very nice.

The object of my ogling stood and turned toward me. DAMN! My heart sped up. He was HOT! As he came toward me, I took in his short sandy blonde hair and muscular form. He was smiling at me as he reached the counter. When he turned his attention to Leslie, it felt like the sun had faded from my life. I strained to hear what he said, but could only make out one word: manager.

Leslie pointed toward me. She’s the manager. She can help you with anything you need. She winked at me when he looked away.

I flushed as I turned my attention to the stud standing in my office. My normally average-size office suddenly felt very small.

He held out his hand. I’m your new beer vendor, Brian Holliwood.

I’d guessed as much seeing the beer logo on his light blue button-up shirt. I took his hand. A jolt of electricity raced up my arm. Looking in his brown eyes, it took me a minute to find my voice. Shanna Stevens, I’m manager here. There was a gold tint to his eyes. I had never seen eyes like his before. I could stare at them forever.

Nice to meet you.

Reluctantly, I released his hand. You too. Are you taking Tim’s place?

He nodded. He transferred to a new route. Said there was a manager at one of the stores giving him trouble.

I smiled proudly. That would be me! Only took two weeks. My best yet. I laughed.

Brian laughed. I hope I last longer.

His deep laughter surrounded me. Don’t worry. I have a feeling you and I will get along fine.

I bet she does, Leslie muttered.

I shot her a murderous glare as I flushed.

Brian smiled. I couldn’t help thinking he knew I found him attractive. A man with his looks was no doubt used to women looking at him. Mind if I get a few prices from you?

Happy to help, I answered his questions. He thanked me and left to get the beer.

That was funny, Leslie said.

I glared at her. What?

You. I’ve never seen you so flustered.

I rolled my eyes. I don’t know what you are talking about.

Uh huh. She glanced at the door as Brian rolled in a stack of beer. Do you want me to check him in?

I’ve got it! I jumped up. Normally I would have had her do it.

Leslie laughed and stepped aside.

As I joined Brian near the cooler, I wished I had let Leslie check him in. I didn’t miss the way his eyes drifted over my overweight form. In the office, most of me had been hidden behind the desk. He was able to see all of me now. I fought the urge to adjust the baby blue button-up uniform shirt I wore. Normally I stuck to darker shades or black. I looked a little smaller in clothes like that, not to mention the way my brown eyes and hair were in contrast to the dark colors. I tried to emphasize the only good qualities I had. I was relieved I’d worn my black jeans that morning instead of my normal black-knit pants. The jeans helped hide my big stomach, but only a little. Nothing really hid my overweight figure. I knew it was just wishful thinking on my part.

I kept my smile firmly in place and took the invoice from him. His eyes returned to mine causing my heart to skip a beat. I verified the beer before me matched the invoice in my hand. Anything else I can do for you?

He shook his head. Thank you for your help. I don’t know why Tim couldn’t get along with you?

I laughed. Tim was used to doing whatever he wanted. The previous manager’s daughter worked with her. She had a crush on Tim.

Brian nodded. Seems most of the stores had someone crushing on him.

I don’t know why. You’re much cuter. I couldn’t believe I said that. My cheeks turned red.

Brian’s cheeks flushed even as he smiled. Thank you.

Shanna, Derek’s on the phone, Leslie yelled across the store.

I hadn’t heard the phone ring, having been so focused on the task at hand. I gave Brian a smile and walked away. Taking the phone, I went into the office. How’s it going, Derek?

He laughed. I was going to ask you that.

I knew that. He had called every day since leaving me in charge and asked the same question. Everything is fine here. Brian came out of the cooler. More than fine. Brian smiled in my direction.

That’s not what you said yesterday. Hmmm...what could have made you change your mind between yesterday and...a man!

Maybe. Brian was approaching me. Hang on, Derek. I placed the phone on the counter. All done?

Brian nodded. It was a pleasure meeting you, Shanna.

Pleasure is all hers, Leslie said.

My cheeks filled with heat as I shot her a ‘go to hell’ look.

Brian laughed. Here’s my pager number. If you need anything before next week, let me know. I’d be happy to drop it off.

I took his card, slipping it in my pocket. Thank you, Brian.

He winked at me before leaving. I dropped the phone as I tried to pick it up. Leslie laughed. I fought the urge to throw it at her. Are you still there? I dropped the phone.

Derek laughed. He must be something if you are dropping things. He has a sexy voice.

He’s mine, hands off! Derek was the one who pointed out there were cute butts, and then there were palm-able butts. I had no idea there was a difference.

Derek’s laughter increased. I haven’t seen him, so you are welcome to him. He was silent a moment. Seriously, are you okay?

I sat down, pushing Brian from my thoughts. I’m fine, Derek. Don’t worry about me.

You’ve never lived alone or that far away from family before. Of course, I worry about you.

Derek’s concern brought tears to my eyes. I blinked them back. I will admit it has been difficult. There have been times I thought I wanted to transfer back to my old store, but I’m not ready to give up yet. I thought of Brian. Seeing him once a week would make things a little better.

You can do this, Shanna. If I didn’t think you could, I never would have left you in charge.

Thank you, Derek. I will be fine. If for any reason I’m not, you will be the first person I call.

I’m a call away, Shanna. Anytime day or night.

I thanked him and hung up. Returning to the daily paperwork, Brian crossed my mind more than he should.

August 18

Dear Diary,

Today my world was turned upside down. I don’t know how to describe it. How can meeting a man completely change my life? I barely spent ten minutes, if that, with him, but I feel like my life will never be the same.

When I went to work this morning, the last thing I expected was to meet a man who could break through the wall I built around my heart. I’m going to have to be careful. I don’t want to get hurt. After all the teasing and bullying in school, I’ve been hurt enough in my life. I’m afraid to open up, to trust. Each taunt, name called, or hurtful remark left scars on my soul. I don’t want to experience anything like that ever again. I met the man I can love. In the end, he will hurt me.

*

Earth to Shanna.

Having been lost in thought, I jumped when Leslie touched my arm. What? I looked at her.

Penny for your thoughts.

I was just thinking about this job.

She frowned. You’ve been doing that a lot the last week. Ever since you met Brian.

Had it been a week since he rocked my world? He had occupied my thoughts non-stop. It has nothing to do with him. I wasn’t sure about the job before he walked into my life. I sighed. He’s probably married anyway.

Leslie glanced outside. He’s here. Watch the front, and I’ll find out. Before I could answer, she disappeared into the cooler.

I was staring after her, thinking about slapping her, when Brian came in.

Hey, Shanna.

Looking at him, I realized my mind hadn’t done him justice all week. Or maybe he was just one of those people who got hotter every time you saw them. I smiled. Hi, Brian.

All by yourself? He glanced around the store.

Leslie’s stocking the cooler. Was he hoping she was there? I watched his face, but his expression didn’t change. Maybe he was just making polite conversation. How are you enjoying the new route? I took his clipboard from where he had placed it on the counter and began writing in prices.

You don’t have to do that.

I don’t mind. It was something to do to keep from staring into his unusual eyes. I could feel my cheeks heating.

The route isn’t bad. Some days are longer than I’d like. I had nearly 600 cases yesterday. There are still a few stores that aren’t happy with me.

I glanced up at him from beneath my lashes. You want me to have a word with them? Why had I offered that? I wasn’t one who enjoyed confrontation. If he said yes what would I do? Looking at him, I knew I would do it just to see him smile.

He smiled as his cheeks turned pink. Thanks, but they don’t concern me. Getting to see you makes up for it.

He was a flirt! I flushed. A customer came in preventing me from answering. I had no idea what I would have said anyway. I returned his clipboard.

Thanks. He looked at me a second more before going outside.

I ran what he said through my head, trying not to read anything into it. Being a romance writer, it was hard not to.

He was just being nice, my conscience pointed out. A man like that wouldn’t want you.

My heart felt like a hand was squeezing it. I grabbed a carton of cigarettes and pretended to be engrossed in stocking them as he rolled in the beer. Without glancing at him, I said, Have Leslie check you in, Brian.

He paused a moment then I heard the hand trucks continue toward the cooler. Had he been shocked by my words? Had he looked at me wondering why I had gone from nice to bitch with no explanation? I didn’t turn to see.

I kept myself from turning around until I heard the door to the overflow room beside the cooler close. Taking a deep breath, I returned to my office. I had a clear view of the register should anyone come in. I tried to concentrate on paperwork, but all I could think of was Brian in the cooler with Leslie. Alone. I had known Leslie a short time, but in that time I had learned she wasn’t shy. When she saw something or someone she wanted she went after it full force. The ring on her left hand didn’t deter her. Being a size four with an overabundance of curves she didn’t have to try very hard. The men were falling at her feet. Blue-green eyes and shoulder-length brown hair completed the package. She had a tattoo of an angel over one breast and a tattoo of a devil over the other. She made a point of dressing so both could be seen. The men seemed to love them. Leslie’s husband adored her. He knew the only way to keep her was to let her have her flings. She always came home to him and their three kids. If Paul hadn’t told me that himself, I wouldn’t have believed it.

The back room door opened. Leslie and Brian came out laughing. Jealousy flowed through me. I focused on the computer trying to get my emotions under control. What right did I have to be jealous? He wasn’t mine and never would be. I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. What was wrong with me? I barely knew this man!

She’s acting like she’s working, but she’s not. She’s mad I was in the cooler with you, and she wasn’t, Leslie said.

My head jerked up. I glared at her through the office window. How dare she tell him that?

Brian smiled at me. Maybe next time you can switch, he said as he entered the office.

I flushed as she laughed. Ignoring her, I handed Brian his check. My fingers grazed his. It was suddenly difficult to breathe.

See you next week, Shanna.

I nodded, watching him leave before turning on Leslie. What the hell? How could you tell him I was jealous you were in the cooler with him instead of me?

She tilted her head thoughtfully to the side. Did I say jealous? I believe I said you were mad. Sounds like you were jealous.

I clenched my hands together to keep from shaking her. What did you find out? He’s married isn’t he?

She nodded.

I gave a resigned sigh. I knew it! Oh well. It wasn’t like he would have been interested in me anyway.

She waited on a customer before joining me in the office. That’s it? He’s married, so you don’t want him?

For a moment I’d forgotten she didn’t take her marriage vows seriously. It was on the tip of my tongue to say that not everyone took their vows lightly, but she was my only friend in this town. He’s married, Leslie. That means hands off.

She rolled her eyes. The question you need to be asking is if he’s happily married or just married.

I frowned. There’s no difference. Married is married.

She acted like I hadn’t spoken. He is married, but not happily. Do you know what that means?

I didn’t bother to answer.

That means he messes around.

I just stared at her. I was raised in a house with a mother and father that had recently celebrated their thirty-first wedding anniversary. There were ups and downs in all marriages. That didn’t mean one or the other messed around. How could I expect Leslie to understand that when she didn’t live that way?

He may be married, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go after him.

It does in my book.

She rolled her eyes. He has a four-year-old son and a fifteen-year-old step-son. He’s been married five years. He lives in Clarion, which is about an hour and a half from here. He’s thirty years old.

I stared at her searching for what to say. You found out all that in less than ten minutes?

She smiled coyly. Men find me easy to talk to...amongst other things.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. Once more I reminded myself she was my only friend in Henderson. If not for that I’d be tempted to never talk to her again. Crude innuendos were not my thing. I grew up in the country away from most everyone save for family. Did he ask you why you were asking so many questions? He had to think it odd being subjected to twenty questions.

I told him you were interested in him and wanted to know more about the stud that took Tim’s place.

My mouth dropped open. You what?

She nodded. He said he wouldn’t call himself a stud, but that you were sweet.

Sweet was as bad as nice. It was the kiss of death. I sighed. It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s married.

If you aren’t interested in going after him, then maybe I will.

Oh hell no! Only friend or not, I would not let her ruin his life just so she could have a moment’s fun.

She laughed. Jealous?

I mean it, Leslie. No! Leave Brian alone! In the few weeks since she had come to work for me, she had been interested in the man on third shift, and two customers. I’d known her less than a month.

She threw her hands up in defense. Fine. He wasn’t my type anyway.

I doubted that. As long as he was breathing, he was her type.

Thankfully, my new hire, Tammy Walters, arrived. Tammy was unlike anyone I had ever met. She told me right after I hired her she was a grown ass woman if at any point I had a problem with her to come to her and not be childish and talk about her behind her back. Her forthrightness had told me she would be a good employee.

Leslie said, I would stick around, but I have to pick up my kids. Think about what I said, Shanna. See you later, Tammy.

I managed a smile as Leslie left. Pushing all thought of Brian from my mind, I began training Tammy. She was a fast learner. By the end of the first hour, she was able to run the register without my assistance.

Leslie seems...friendly, Tammy said once the training was done.

I laughed. That’s one way to put it.

Were you friends before she came to work here?

I shook my head. No. She was one of the first people I hired. Being new to Henderson, I didn’t know anyone.

Where are you from?

A small town called Townville, South Carolina. It’s the third exit in from the Georgia line. Most people have never heard of it.

She shook her head. I can’t say as I have either. I may have seen it on an exit sign on my way to Georgia at some point, but can’t say for sure.

It’s near Clemson.

That I have heard of.

I laughed. Very few people hadn’t heard of Clemson if they were a football fan. This is the first time I have lived anywhere but at home. As far as places go, it reminds me a lot of a town near my hometown called Seneca. Leslie’s friendly as you said. Before I knew it, we were hanging out. I laughed again. Not that I have much time for that. I’m here by five and don’t leave until four if I’m lucky.

Is that by choice?

Required hours, but I don’t mind. It’s not like my dating life is that exciting.

I know what you mean. I have three boys. Between them and my deadbeat boyfriend, Block, all I do is sit home or go to Spartanburg.

What’s in Spartanburg?

My best friend, Bunny. In my younger days, we were crazy as hell. Clubbing until dawn. Hitting one party after another. She laughed. I’m lucky if I can make it to ten o’ clock before I crash these days.

Younger days? How old are you? Looking at her I’d say she was in her mid to late twenties. Working in convenience stores, I had to be able to guess ages closely. Otherwise, I could get busted for selling to underage kids.

Thirty. Some days I feel twice that.

I’m twenty-six, but feel ninety. Three boys, huh. Still hoping for a girl?

She shook her head, sending her brown hair into her eyes. She wiped it away. Time for a haircut, she muttered. Little girls are great, but I don’t want any more kids. Block isn’t a dad to my boys. He’s just as deadbeat to his own kids as my son’s fathers are. Only got one who pays his child support, but I have to remind him most days. No, I’m done with the kids. How about you? Got any kids?

I shook my head sadly. I don’t have any of my own, but I have two goddaughters I consider mine. They live in California with their mom and dad.

Married?

No. I have a younger brother who just got married to his high school sweetheart. My older sister has been married for three years.

You’re the middle child?

I nodded.

She nodded thoughtfully. That explains it.

I frowned. Explains what?

You have a sheltered look about you.

What? What was a sheltered look supposed to look like?

It’s not a bad thing. I grew up here. I have a sister that is a few years older than me. From the time she was a teenager I was taught every bad thing, there was to know. She laughed. At least that is what my mom said. I thought Linda was just educating me to the ways of the world. You were raised in what sounds like country, and the middle child. Your life was sheltered.

I thought about my life. I guess in a way. I never saw it that way. It was just how I was raised.

It’s a good thing. It explains why you and Leslie get along. She is wild, and you are quiet. She takes away some of your reserved ways.

While Tammy waited on a customer, I had to admit she had a point. Leslie was a lot like a friend of mine I had worked with at Save-Now back home. I had known Tammy for less than a day, and she was already able to read me. That was slightly unnerving. I waited until the customer left to speak. You’ve got it. I wish everyone was as easily trained.

I’ve done every job imaginable. I learned early on to pay close attention to everything around me. Speaking of, I noticed the beer man was a little red-faced when he left. Was that because of you or Leslie?

I glanced at my overweight form. Do you really think I could cause a man like that to be red-faced?

Tammy looked at me like I was insane. I am bigger than you. I have made many men blush. Just because you’re a big woman doesn’t mean a good looking man couldn’t be interested in you.

Her tone of voice was the same as when she told me to come to her if there were any issues. I flushed. Why did no one see what I saw? Instead of arguing with her I said, Don’t tell me you are interested in Brian too? I took a sip of my soda.

She laughed. He’s cute for a white guy, but I prefer darker meat.

I spit my drink across the room. What?

She seemed to find my reaction strange. She handed me a napkin. The thought of some white man coming at me like that makes me ill. Always has.

I think you and I are going to get along just fine.

Tammy laughed. So this beer man, Brian, is he someone you are interested in?

We moved to the office. She sat near the door so she could deal with any customers that came in. I sat down at my desk with a sigh. Yes and no.

She frowned. That makes no sense.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

In the short time I’d known Tammy I knew she would be straight up with me. Have you ever heard there was a difference in happily married and married?

She gave me a knowing look. He’s married?

I nodded.

But not happily married?

I nodded again.

Leslie told you there was a difference.

I bit my lip not saying anything.

That is something you have to decide for yourself, Shanna. You are the one who will have to live with what you do.

Why did life have to be so hard? Married is married.

That’s your answer.

August 25

Dear Diary,

He’s married! Brian is married! I don’t know why I’m surprised. Leslie asked him, amongst other things. She accosted him in the cooler. Poor man probably thought it was the Spanish Inquisition. Leslie said he told her he wasn’t happily married. She says there is a difference between married and happily married. I’ve never heard such nonsense. I’m worried. When I said I wasn’t going after a married man, Leslie said she didn’t have a problem with it. Brian’s a good man. I barely know him, but it’s obvious. Leslie wouldn’t think twice about wrecking his life. I don’t know how I can stop her, but I have to try. Whatever I do, I can’t let that happen!

Chapter Two

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As the week wore on, I reminded myself of that. Leslie kept on and on about a difference, but I wouldn’t budge. Brian did occupy my thoughts way more than a married man should. Try as I might, I couldn’t push him from my mind. It wasn’t like he and I could have a relationship if he were single. I lived in reality. Men like Brian wouldn’t look twice at me. No matter what Tammy said. Hot men didn’t look at overweight women. I was proof. At twenty-six I hadn’t been on a single date.

Brian’s at the Quick-in-Fill, Leslie said as she entered five minutes late for her shift.

I looked up with a frown. That was why she was late, harassing that man. How do you know?

She dropped into one of the chairs in the office. I stopped by.

Why? I took a deep breath to keep from screaming.

She shrugged.

The look on her face concerned me. An image of Leslie pressed up on Brian filled my mind. I felt sick. I looked up and met Tammy’s eyes. She knew as well as I if Leslie was dropping by wherever Brian was, it would lead to trouble. I could feel my face turning red as I tried to keep from throwing something. Another deep breath. 1...2...3...4...

I don’t have a lot of time, but I know I need to stock the cooler before I leave. Would you mind helping me, Shanna? Tammy looked at me questioningly.

I jumped up, grateful for her offer. Sure. I followed Tammy into the cooler. Over the last week, she and I had become friends. There wasn’t much she hadn’t seen in her years. The second the door to the overflow room closed she turned to me. What are you going to do?

I shook my head. What do you mean? Brian’s a big boy. He should be able to take care of himself, shouldn’t he?

She laughed. Girl, you really are sheltered. No red-blooded male will walk away from a girl throwing herself at him.

I bit my lip. My experience with men was limited. Other than Derek I had none and look how well that had turned out. I could tell her I have decided I want him for myself. Then she would back off. Hopefully.

Only if she sees you behaving as if you mean it.

What do you mean? My brow furrowed.

You will need to put on a show. Flirt.

My eyes widened. Flirt. I gulped.

Tammy laughed. You know how to flirt don’t you?

I shook my head.

Women are born knowing. Trust me, Shanna, you know.

Before I could speak the door opened behind us. The object of our conversation stood there. My heart stopped, then sped up. What was he doing here? He wasn’t supposed to come for two days.

Hey, Shanna. He smiled.

My heart felt like it was going to thump out of my chest. Hey, Brian. Not that I mind, but you’re a couple days early.

He flushed. I was down the street and thought I’d check in, see if you need anything. Leslie didn’t tell you I was coming by?

I shook my head.

She must have forgotten.

I doubted it.

Hmmm... I heard Tammy mutter.

Tammy and I were about to restock the cooler. Tammy, have you met Brian?

Tammy shook her head. I knew they hadn’t met, but I didn’t know what to say. Nice to meet you.

Brian nodded in her direction, never taking his eyes off me. You too. Mind if I join you? I will take care of my department.

I glanced at my watch. Tammy, I got this. I know you need to pick up your son. I gave her a pointed look.

She returned my look straight-faced. Thanks, Shanna. I better hurry or Cam will think I forgot him. Nice meeting you, Beefcake.

My cheeks flamed as Brian laughed. You too, Tammy.

I glared at her before disappearing into the cooler in the hopes the cooling fans would cool my heated cheeks. The cooler was larger than most convenience store coolers, but the second the door closed behind Brian, it felt smaller than a four by four crate. I busied myself filling in empty juice and soda shelves. I glanced at him from beneath my long dark lashes. He was restocking the beer we had sold. His body language seemed off. I barely knew him, but like Tammy, I observed all that went on around me. There was something about him that was different today. He seemed thoughtful, distracted. Is everything alright, Brian?

He dropped the bottle of beer he was about to stock. It crashed onto the cement floor shattering into hundreds of pieces. The smell of beer filled the cooler instantly. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Brian immediately knelt down and began cleaning the broken glass.

I covered his hands with mine. Stop!

He looked at me, his face flushed. I’m sorry, I…

It’s fine. I’ve broken my fair share. I have cleaning supplies I keep in that room just for this. I nodded toward the overflow room. Don’t worry about it. I don’t want you cutting yourself. Realizing I still had my hands over his I let go. I felt the loss immediately.

He looked at me a moment before putting his hand beneath my elbow and helping me to stand. I didn’t need the help, but I wasn’t about to say that. I felt his touch all the way to my bones.

Brian released me and stepped to the cooler door. I made the mess. I will clean it up. He returned a second later with the broom and dustpan.

I grabbed an empty box. Between the two of us, we quickly cleaned up the broken glass. I would have to make sure third shift mopped to get the smell out.

What’s wrong, Brian?

He looked at me in surprise. Wrong?

I nodded. Something is bothering you. I’m a good listener if you want to talk.

He was agitated. His entire demeanor was off. He ran his hands nervously down his navy blue uniform shorts. Do you mind? He grabbed a drink.

I shook my head, making a mental note to pay for it when I returned up front. We can talk here or the office if you prefer. Of course, Leslie will be butting in there. Personally, I didn’t want her to be anywhere around. I was still mad she had stopped by to see Brian. I didn’t trust her to behave where he was concerned.

Brian shook his head. Here’s fine.

I shivered. I kept my cooler extra cold. If I were a customer I expected my soda to be cold, therefore I did everything in my store the way I would want if I were shopping at it. How about the overflow room?

Brian nodded. He offered to grab me a drink, but I shook my head.

I’m fine, thanks. I followed him into the adjacent room. He sat on a stack of twenty-four pack sodas. I leaned against the wall. When he didn’t speak, I felt compelled to say something. Leslie was being nosey last week. I’m sorry. She’s a bit...

Forward, he said.

I laughed. I hope she didn’t upset you.

He shook his head. I’ve dealt with girls like her before. I just ignored her for the most part. He took a sip of his drink. She said you wanted to know all that about me. You could have just asked me yourself.

I flushed and looked down. I couldn’t tell him I was too shy to ask something as simple as ‘Are you married?’ I wasn’t that kind of girl. I preferred to remain in the background never calling attention to myself. My size attracted attention, but as long as I didn’t speak, I was usually quickly dismissed.

Shanna?

I glanced up at him. I was curious about you, but that was all. I never meant for her to accost you in the cooler and interrogate you. I figured over time we would learn about each other. That is how it has been with vendors in the past, the ones worth knowing. There were one or two I even became friends with.

He looked at me hopefully. That’s what I want. My wife is old school. She doesn’t believe a man and woman can be friends and not be interested in more than friendship.

Ouch! That put me in my place. I kept my smile firmly in place not letting on how much that comment had hurt. I couldn’t be sure he had said it innocently or as a veiled warning. I knew he wouldn’t be interested in me. He didn’t have to say it. I will be happy to prove her wrong.

He smiled. Friends?

I nodded. To see that smile, I would have agreed to almost anything. I would take whatever I could get. I barely knew the man, but my heart was already becoming attached. If we agreed to be friends, maybe I could stop my heart from falling for him completely. What is bothering you, Brian?

He sighed. My wife thinks I’m cheating on her.

Are you?

NO!

I put my hands up between us. Whoa! I’m just asking. Don’t bite my head off.

He took off his ball cap, ran his hand through his hair, then replaced it. Sorry.

Don’t apologize. I’ll live. Why does she think you’re cheating?

I have been getting home later and later. If I were in Clarion, she wouldn’t be worried. Working over an hour away she suspects I’m cheating.

That didn’t make sense to me. Maybe because that wasn’t my mindset. What should it matter if he worked in Clarion or if he worked in Henderson? If he were cheating, he could do it anywhere. I didn’t speak a moment, unsure how much to say. We barely knew each other. Would he be receptive to what I thought? He was waiting for me to speak. I took a deep breath. If he didn’t want to hear my thoughts, he shouldn’t have said anything. Have you ever given her reason to doubt you?

He shook his head. Never. I love my wife.

I nodded thoughtfully. Could you get home sooner?

I don’t waste time. Six hundred cases takes time. I can’t just roll them in and leave. She doesn’t understand that. I have to stock the cooler and make sure I don’t leave a mess behind me at each stop. When I get to the warehouse, I spend an hour breaking the truck down so the night staff can restock it for the next day. He sighed. My son asks every night if I’ll be home when he wakes the next morning.

How old is he? Leslie had already told me, but it wasn’t the same as getting the information straight from the horses...stud’s mouth...so to speak.

Four.

I smiled. I knew what a four-year-old was like. He doesn’t understand Daddy has to work. His eyes were sad. That bothers you more than your wife thinking you are cheating.

His eyes widened. How do you know that?

I shrugged. I’m good at reading people. What’s his name?

Dustin. He is my life.

The pride on his face as he spoke of his son almost brought tears to my eyes. He was a good father. I thought through the many things I could say, searching for some pearl of wisdom that would make everything better. The desire to be there for your son can cause you to question everything you do. Seeing him each morning would make your day better, but would mean you got home later. That would mean less time with him in the evenings when you can toss the football or just be there with him sitting on the porch.

Brian stared at me.

I flushed. What?

That is almost exactly what I said to Misty this morning when she fussed about it. He sighed. Why do you understand, but my wife can’t? Do you have kids?

I shook my head sadly. None of my own. I hope to have a dozen someday. I have a couple of godchildren.

Boys?

Girls. Victoria and Madelynne. They live in California now. Their dad is a Marine.

Victoria?

I nodded. She’s my oldest. She just turned five.

If we ever have a girl that’s what I want to name her. Victoria Rose.

That’s pretty. I can see her wrapping you around her little finger.

A look of longing covered his face. In a heartbeat.

We were silent for a few minutes each lost in our thoughts. I wondered if his son looked like him or Misty. What did she look like? Was she blonde? Brunette? Redhead? Skinny? Fat? Looking at him I doubted she was fat. She was probably a long-legged, thin, tan blonde.

How long have you been manager here?

I didn’t like talking about me. I wanted to know more about him. For now, I would answer his questions. I’ve been manager for Save-Now a year. I used to work in Clemson, South Carolina.

Are you from here?

I shook my head. I’m from a small town near Georgia.

Brian’s eyes widened. How did you end up here?

The company had the right person ask me to help out. They knew I wouldn’t turn him down.

Boyfriend?

I shook my head with a laugh. Just a friend. I’m not his type. You are.

Oh!

I laughed. Derek heard your voice the first day you were here. He said you sounded sexy. I told him you were and you had a palm-able ass. The moment the words were out of my mouth I wished I could call them back. My face flamed.

His face turned red, but he laughed. Palm-able ass. I have never heard that before, and I’m an ass man.

My embarrassment faded. With him, my mouth ran away from me, but he quickly put me at ease. I had always been shy and unsure. If I’d been around him my entire life, I couldn’t help wondering if I’d be more outgoing. More like Tammy.

Do you like it here?

I shrugged. It’s okay. I work most of the time, so I haven’t seen much of it. It seems quaint. In a lot of ways, it reminds me of my hometown.

He nodded thoughtfully. It reminds me of Clarion in a way.

Where is that?

Do you know anything about North Carolina?

I shook my head.

It’s near Miller and Asheville. It’s a lot like Henderson. You’d like it.

I’ll check it out sometime.

He glanced at his watch. I’ve been here nearly an hour! It didn’t seem that long. He stood with a smile. Maybe it’s the company.

I flushed. Brian Holliwood, you are a flirt!

He laughed. Me? No, I’m shy.

I shook my head with a laugh.

Thanks for listening, Shanna.

Any time you want to talk, I’m here.

As we walked toward the office, Leslie said, What have you two been doing?

Remembering what Tammy said about putting on a show I was about to say something coy when Brian put his arm around my shoulders and said, Wouldn’t you like to know?

I flushed even as a current raced along my spine.

Leslie said, Oh really?

I wouldn’t meet her eyes. At the office door, Brian hugged me. I had never been a touchy-feely kind of girl. I didn’t hug my family or friends. My godchildren were the only exception. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around Brian and hug him. I welcomed it. I was careful to hold back a little, not wanting him to feel my stomach pressed against him. It was stupid really. It wasn’t like he didn’t see I was fat. Holding back was pointless.

Thank you, Shanna, he whispered in my ear.

Anytime.

At the door, he smiled back at me before leaving. My heart did somersaults in my chest. I went to the office thinking over what he had said.

Leslie dropped into a chair. What were you doing back there?

I knew she wouldn’t believe me if I implied what Brian had. We talked. He needed a friend to listen.

Friend or friend with benefits?

I sighed. It was always about sex with her. Right now friends. I don’t know after that, but maybe. I didn’t believe that, but hopefully, that would keep her from going after him.

I told you there was a difference in married and happily married.

I didn’t comment. What good would it do? I would never knowingly cause Brian any trouble. He was married. I would be his friend and hope for the best. You failed to mention he was stopping by today.

She smiled. I wanted him to surprise you. I wish I could have seen your face.

I glared at her. You are enjoying this entirely too much.

Leslie laughed. We’ve been friends a while now. In that time I have never seen anyone make you flustered until Brian walked in.

I had made a point of not saying too much about my life to her. She was too nosey about personal things I had no intention of sharing with her. With her big mouth, the entire town would know all about my non-existent sex life. I didn’t like pointing out I was twenty-six years old and had never been on a date. I had gone out to dinner with Derek, but that wasn’t a date. I knew Leslie would tease me mercilessly about being a twenty-six-year-old virgin. It was something I should be proud of, but I was more embarrassed than anything. I knew the reason I had never dated was because of my size. Men didn’t want fat women. No matter what Tammy said, I knew that.

I was shocked to see him hug you.

Not as shocked as I was. I could still feel his arms around me. I wanted to close my eyes and let the memory flood my senses, but couldn’t with Leslie there. I shrugged it off like it was no big deal. I didn’t need her constantly teasing me about him. Thankfully a customer came in.

While Leslie waited on him, I grabbed my purse. I’m going to do a survey. Be back later. I hurried out before she could speak. Twice a day I was required to do a gas survey of all surrounding stations. Normally I hated doing them, but today I was anxious to escape Leslie’s questions. I couldn’t help wondering if Brian had felt the same when she was interrogating him. As I drove through the parking lot of my last competitor, I saw Brian putting his hand trucks away. He saw me and waved me over. I pulled up beside him as I put the window down.

He smiled as he leaned down on my door frame. What’s up?

I shook my head. Leslie was annoying me. I had to get away. I have to do surveys anyway.

She is relentless. He squeezed my arm. Anytime you’re doing your surveys and see me, say hi.

I nodded. I will. I glanced at the clock. It was time for me to head home anyway. I would call Leslie and have her send the survey in. See you later.

He noticed my Tigger tag on the seat beside me with my nickname. Sha Sha?

I glanced at the tag then back at him. Shay Shay is how my godchildren pronounce it. I don’t have a Y in my name, so I spell it without the Y.

Hmm...that would be Sha Sha. He said it with an ah sound.

I shook my head. My name is pronounced Shay-nna, not Sha-nna. There is just no Y in it.

He looked at me with a thoughtful frown.

I laughed. You can call me Sha Sha, but no one else.

He smiled. No one else! He squeezed my arm again. See you later, Sha Sha. He stepped back. Be careful.

Always.

His smiling face was all I saw in my rear view.

I called Leslie when I got home and asked her to fax the survey. She was too busy flirting with the new employee she was training to ask me any more questions about Brian. As I prepared dinner, I couldn’t help thinking of Brian and wondering what he was doing.

August 30

Dear Diary,

Brian stopped by today. He said he wanted us to be friends. I like the idea of being friends. His wife is accusing him of cheating because he gets home late. I don’t understand that kind of thinking. If my husband came home late, I’d be worried something happened to him. I wouldn’t breathe easy until he was safely in my arms.

I don’t know much about men. My experience around the opposite sex is limited. My brother is six years younger. When he had friends over they were his age. Not that any of them would have crossed my mind as anything other than annoying. Other than his friends, the only man I have been around, other than Derek and co-workers, is Stacey. When I was at Save-Now in Clemson, he had been a regular customer. I had jokingly asked him if he was buying a beer for me. I don’t drink; it had just been something to say. He had given me the beer. From then on he bought two each time he came in. One for me and one for him. I never told him, but after he left I changed it out for a soda. He invited me to play pool at the club he worked at. I went a couple of times, but made a couple of my friends go with me. He asked me out to a concert. The day of the concert I was having back problems. I called to cancel, and he said he had forgotten he asked someone else. After that, I didn’t have much to do with him. Since then I’m more wary of men than I was.

I don’t believe Brian is like that, but I know he could easily hurt me if I don’t guard my heart. Leslie couldn’t resist insinuating Brian meant friends with benefits. I let her think it. Why waste time denying it? She wouldn’t listen. I don’t believe Brian would ever look at me and want more than friendship. If friendship is what he wants, friendship he’ll get. Before he left, he hugged me. The way I felt in his arms scares me. It felt like...home.

*

Driving into work at five the next morning, I did the first survey of the day. I’d spent a restless night, having dreamed about Brian. All I remembered when I woke was he was the main character. What happened in each one, I had no clue.

At six Mandi came in. She was the only employee from before I took over the store. I liked her instantly. A brown-eyed brunette, she could rival Leslie with the attention the male customers gave her, and she was pregnant. She was outgoing and fun. I think that was what attracted them to her. She knew just about everyone who walked in. If she didn’t, she would by the time they left. She didn’t just wait on the customer; she treated them like they were a part of her family.

I stopped at the grocery store on my way in. The beer man said to tell you hi.

My eyes widened. Brian did? My heart did a somersault.

She shrugged. Cute with brown hair and a nice ass?

I nodded with a laugh.

He must have seen me leaving one day. He asked if I worked here and I said yes. He said to tell Shay Shay hi. That’s what your goddaughters call you, right? She looked at me curiously.

Yes. I smiled. Brian was thinking about me. My heart did a flip.

She looked at me questioningly. Are you two an item?

I wish! No. He’s a just friend.

She frowned. I thought you didn’t know anyone from Henderson.

I don’t. We are new friends. I returned to my paperwork. Mandi was sweet, but I didn’t want to get into it with her. I was a very private person.

Shortly before noon, Leslie showed up. You need to do a survey.

I looked up from the computer with a frown. What?

Now. She grabbed my purse and headed for the door. I had no choice but to follow.

Mandi, I’m going to do the survey. If anyone calls take a message.

Leslie was sitting in the passenger seat of my car when I got outside. As I drove away, I asked, Why do I need to do this survey right now?

She ignored me. Turn left.

I frowned. I have no stores that way.

Trust me.

A few minutes later I was pulling into a mom and pop store where Brian’s truck was parked. What... I broke off as Brian rolled a stack of beer into the store. I turned to Leslie. Are we stalking him now?

She laughed. You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy the view just now.

I couldn’t argue with her. Seeing him had been worth it, but that didn’t answer my question. I mean it, Leslie! Tell me you haven’t been stalking that man. I was fighting to keep my voice calm.

I was driving by, and I saw him. That’s not stalking. I thought you were interested in him. She wouldn’t meet my eyes.

Dammit! Why did she have to be so annoying? I am, but stalking him isn’t the way.

Before she could say anything someone knocked on my window. I turned to find Brian squatted down by my door. I rolled it down. Hi.

He smiled. Hi, Sha Sha. What’s up?

I flushed. I was out doing my survey and thought I’d say hi.

I’m glad you did. I was thinking of stopping by this afternoon. Will you be there? He held my gaze.

I was relieved he was looking at me not Leslie. I nodded as my heart skipped a beat. Until four. I can stay longer if you need me to.

He flushed. I should be there by four.

I look forward to it.

He squeezed my arm before heading for his truck. Be careful.

Always.

He laughed.

I waited until he’d left before heading for the store.

What was that?

I glanced at Leslie with a shrug. He wants to stop by. What’s the big deal?

That’s not what I meant. You offered to stay later. You can’t wait to leave when its time. Suddenly you want to stay. She gave me a knowing look.

I smiled. If it’s for the right person I’ll stay all night.

I bet. She smirked.

I ignored her as I parked and went back to work. She followed me inside.

"I have to pick up the kids. I’ll be back in time for my shift. Keep an eye