Looking Down Into the Madness: A Midlife Memoir

By Andrew Hudgins

Andrew Hudgins needed to change his life. He was spiraling downward. After spending years caring for his father and his divorce that followed, He was determined to make a new man of himself.

Join him in his decision making process that would lead him remarkably on a life voyage that ends with the man near death on Costa Rica's highest

• Language: English
• Publisher: TOLFAN PUBLISHING LLC
• Release date: Apr 13, 2019
• ISBN: 9780578497341

Andrew Hudgins

Born and raised in a diverse, blue-collar suburb of Detroit, Andrew Hudgins graduated with High Distinction from the University of Michigan with a degree in International Studies. An avid adventurer, he enjoys cycling and has pedaled his way through many of America's most populous cities. Andrew loves to travel and has been as far east as Paris and far west as Hawaii. He currently resides outside of Detroit with his girlfriend, Nanci and passes his free time enjoying the company of friends and family.

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Acknowledgments

I am often asked, in one form or another. Why did you climb the mountain? I hope that, after reading this book, you will understand the reasons I felt compelled to step out of my routine existence and accomplish something that most people wouldn’t even attempt.

I wish I could answer the question with something as succinct as what Edmund Hillary said after climbing Everest, Because, it is there. Like most things in life, the answer is far more complex. I did the best I know to explain my decision-making process and how I arrived at the top of the second-highest peak in Central America. I hope you find this book and the reasons behind it enjoyable, entertaining, and compelling.

Like most acknowledgments, I would like to thank those who played significant roles during this process. Their love and admiration throughout everything have been a foundation on which to build a good life.

To my sons, Ryan and Nathan. Thank you for your enduring devotion. I love you more than you can imagine. To the moon and back, as they say. I know I have sometimes not been the easiest dad to live with. However, my intentions were always well-meaning (with the exception of all the practical jokes). Without you, my life would not have had a purpose and know that I will ALWAYS be there for you.

To my bestest of best friends, Pete Mooney. We have known each other for well over forty years at this point. There have been significant gaps during the years. However, when we meet, we always seem to pick up right where we left off. It’s as if nothing ever happened. I have to admit I am grateful our wives both flamed out at roughly the same time. It brought us back together at a time when we both needed each other more than we knew. I am very humbled that you have accepted me as your friend, and I love you like a brother.

To Nanci Wallace, my girlfriend. You have been supportive beyond belief. I would have never believed I could meet anyone as wonderful as you. You are far better than I deserve. Yet, you accept me whole-heartedly and without question. You are one of the most giving, successful people I know and can’t believe that out of the 7 billion people of this earth, you chose me. For that I am eternally grateful. I love you, dear.

To John and Mary Cameron, my neighbors in Dearborn. You carried me at a time when I had been laid so low, I didn’t know how to rise up. Thanks for putting up with me and helping me out.

To my half-brother, Kyle Hudgins. First, know that I think of you as a true brother. We had our differences through the years, and I am glad that both us found the courage to forgive each other. I am honored that you share a place in my life and will until the day I die. Love you, dude.

To Ed and Doreen. I appreciate very much our friendship. Ed, it’s hard to believe I have known you over 30 years. You have played an integral part in my life.

Introduction

Before I begin to describe my mountain climb, I think it is important to examine the events in my life the years leading up to it. These events set me on a course that led to depression and sense of loneliness that virtually extinguished the light from my life. Up until this time, my life was rather mundane. More important, I was happy.

I was living the suburban dream outside of Detroit. I had a wife, a large extended family, and a secure job. I was almost finished raising my two boys, and they were growing into young men. I felt, for the first time in my life, as if I had achieved a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction with my existence. As incredibly average as it was, I felt I had done a lot and was semi-proud.

It was all about to come crashing to an end. It did not come suddenly. It happened over the course of years. To use an analogy to describe it, I am drawn to a picture of a serene beach scene just before a storm arrives. The waves start coming in, and you notice they are getting larger and larger and larger. As the storm looms closer, the waves increase in intensity and frequency. Eventually, everything is washed away.

That is what was about to happen to me. It began with the care for and death of my father. It was a three-year process that took about every ounce of energy and fortitude I possessed. I lost another close family member. That was followed up closely by my divorce.

Most people would not choose to climb a mountain to deal with these life events. As I write this, I am even asking myself, How could all of this lead to climbing a mountain? I know, it seems ridiculous. In hindsight, however, as I was living through these events, I can assure you I was not thinking, Hey, I know what will heal me! Let’s climb a mountain! Far from it. However, after dealing with these events, a thought process evolved that allowed me to live in a manner I would never have previously considered. That’s the journey I’m going to share with you in this book.

Chapter One

Before the Climb

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. – Pocahantas

First, there was the death of my father, George Hudgins, and the three years prior to that I had spent taking care of him. It ends where most of these stories end, a slow, gradual descent leading to death.

It began with what is today considered a routine knee replacement surgery. It was performed at Oakwood Main hospital in Dearborn, MI. At first, the surgery seemed to have gone well. My father was up and walking around within days. After a few weeks, he was driving and even came to visit me at my house, something he had never done previously. As time progressed, his recuperation took a turn. Movement became difficult, and he was overcome with pain. Unbeknownst to me at the time, one of the tendons on the back of his knee had become detached. My father either did not know or chose not to talk to me about it.

As this event unfolded, my father was still married to my stepmother. All I knew about his condition was what she told me, and she did not tell me much. She certainly had to know about the tendon that had become detached from my father’s knee. Nonetheless, what she said was my dad was not working on his recuperation and he was a wimp for not dealing with his pain.

This was not normal behavior for my father. Anybody who knew him will tell you he was one of the toughest SOBs on this earth. He