Charlie Changes Everything: A Good Book for Kids

By R J Cregan

My daughter wanted a story and it got me thinking about all the things I should’ve learned when I was growing up. I thought about the values and ideas I wanted to teach my children and this is the story I told her: a funny book for kids to help make their world a better place…

Billy has the meanest teacher in the

• Language: English
• Publisher: Little French Train Limited
• Release date: Apr 20, 2017
• ISBN: 9780995575219

R J Cregan

Robert grew up in Australia, where he studied Science, Economics and Psychology and won the University of Sydney Union Literature Competition. After a short career as a Dinosaur Demonstrator, Robert moved to London and qualified as a Management Accountant but he is much happier dreaming up funny stories for his two beautiful daughters.

Book preview

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Disgusting. Don’t say I didn’t warn you

Mrs Deeth

It’s serious…it’s funny…it’s seriously funny

Charlie

Smells a lot better than my dad’s guerrilla art

Billy Bridges

Mmm

Emily Scram

A good example of trial and error

Boof

A tragic comedy but a comic tragedy

The Headmaster

1 in 10,000

Belinda Brown

I wish I could read it twice

Duffy Hellman

I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more

Joe’s mum

"While gazing outside,

Winter rain wets my window,

But inside I’m warm"

Joe

R. J. Cregan

Charlie

Changes

Everything

A Good Book for Kids

Little French Train Limited

First published in Great Britain 2017

by Little French Train Limited

www.LittleFrenchTrain.com

71-75 Shelton Street,

Covent Garden,

London, WC2H 9JQ

England

Text Copyright © R. J. Cregan 2017

Cover Illustration Copyright © R. J. Cregan 2017

All rights reserved.

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

ISBN 978-0-9955752-1-9

Also available in print: ISBN 978-0-9955752-0-2

Printed by Ingram

All characters in this novel, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Conditions of Sale

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

For Lucy and Sophie,

your laughter inspires me to keep writing

Billy’s Best Day

The worst day of Billy Bridges’ life was also the best. It was his teacher’s fault. Her name was Mrs Deeth which rhymed with her sharp teeth and she was the meanest teacher in the world.

Mrs Deeth had her eye on Billy because he had stopped listening in class. But that was because of Belinda Brown. Just last week he would have dismissed her as a snotty-nosed, warty-handed sissy with girl germs but now he was enchanted in a way he couldn’t explain. While Mrs Deeth was ranting on, he gazed at the way Belinda’s curly blond hair tumbled down like a waterfall and daydreamed about walking her home.

Belinda hadn’t noticed her secret admirer so Billy decided to make a grand gesture to declare his love for her. He stowed some pink chalk in his pocket and as soon as the bell rang for lunch he raced outside the classroom and crouched down to write B4B on the wall just next to the door. Then he skipped away to the toilets before anyone else came out.

Belinda dawdled out of the classroom after everyone else had rushed past Billy’s message without a single look. But as soon as the sunlight hit her nose she did an almighty sneeze. She covered her nose just in time but then looked down in horror to see her hand was full of snot.

Belinda was frantic. She searched her pocket for a tissue but only had chalk and gum. She looked to the toilets but the queue was a mile long. She couldn’t just stand there with a handful of snot. At any moment some bully might see and brand her Snottyhand forever. There wasn’t a moment to lose. She turned her back to the wall to hide what she was doing, squatted down and blindly wiped the snot on top of Billy’s message. Then she skipped away to the playground before anyone could see.

But it didn’t take long for the abomination to be noticed. The snot had spread out to the size of a hand and it glistened in the sunshine. A crowd of pointing children gathered around groaning at the yellow chunky bits.

Billy came out from the toilets and saw the back of a crowd of kids gathered around the wall where he’d written his message. He couldn’t see the wall but he saw Belinda walk up and join in the pointing. Billy’s heart sank. He couldn’t bear to stay. He hid back in the toilets and when the school bell rang he rushed past not daring to look at anyone or anything as he hurried back inside.

Billy hoped his romantic gesture could quickly be forgotten but then he saw Mrs Deeth stomp into the room. She was livid. Her face was red and her nostrils flared as she screeched, What disgusting creature put that mark outside my door? Her icy cold eyes searched the faces of the boys like searchlights from a tower guarding no man’s land. They landed on the burly captain of the football team. Boof, she shrieked, jabbing her bony finger at him, was it you? Did you put that obscenity on my wall?

No, Mrs Deeth, said Boof, but I saw Belinda sniffling like a lovesick puppy all morning. But look how easily she’s breathing now it’s out in the open.

Mrs Deeth turned her death stare on Belinda Brown. Belinda, she said doubtfully, did you put that vile thing on my wall?

Belinda didn’t know what to do. Silence was impossible, confession was unthinkable and she didn’t know how to lie. She started to cry. Billy thought back to the way Belinda had pointed with the others but he didn’t care. He couldn’t bear to see her suffer because of him. He had to confess to his gesture. It was me. I did it!

I knew it. I knew it must have been a disgusting boy and not a girl. The class looked on in awe as Mrs Deeth grabbed Billy by the ear and dragged him up to the front of the class.

Thank goodness corporal punishment is legal again, said Mrs Deeth as she opened her drawer and selected the black leather strap. Spare the rod and spoil the child, the good book says. Now hold out your hand and tell me how sorry you are.

Billy looked into Belinda’s big, green eyes and spoke softly to her as if the two of them were the only ones there. I’m not sorry. I’m proud of what I did and I would do it again.

This drove Mrs Deeth into a fury. The witch lifted the strap up high over her head and belted it down with all her might. When it made contact with Billy’s hand it made a sickening crack and after a second it felt to Billy as if his hand had been seared by a hot iron. But he never made a sound, not a single cry. He just kept looking into Belinda’s eyes in a trance that distanced his mind from the pain in his hand.

Now take this bucket and sponge and clean that filth off my wall.

As Billy slowly carried the bucket out through the foyer, Woof the stray dog bounded in through the school gate and went right up to the wall. He raised his hind leg and hosed down the wall next to the doorway, just as Billy stepped outside.

That’s not right, Billy cried. Billy knew there was no point telling Mrs Deeth. Slowly he scrubbed and scrubbed until it was all gone and the water in the bucket was a violent mixture of yellow, pink and green.

Billy carried the bucket back inside but Mrs Deeth snarled, Don’t bring that filthy water back in here. Take it outside to that tree. Let’s hope it kills the wretched thing before it drops any more sticks on my head.

Billy obediently went out to the only island of life in the ocean of asphalt that was the school playground. There stood the school’s only tree, a tree which had stood watch over the children for generations. Only time would tell what effect the slimy concoction would have on the poor old thing…

When Billy finally trudged back to class he was still thinking of the disgusted look he’d seen on Belinda’s face when she’d pointed at the wall but now she was gazing at him so sweetly. Belinda was looking at Billy with new eyes. An hour ago she would have dismissed him as a big, burly barbarian beset with boy germs but now there was something magnetic about her enchanting new hero that she couldn’t explain.

When the bell finally rang at the end of the day, Billy and Belinda were the last ones to walk out the door.

You were so brave today, she gushed. Would you like to walk me home?

Billy’s heart jumped. I’d love to.

Belinda gave Billy a peck on the cheek. Just wait a second, she whispered. She grabbed the pink chalk from her pocket and wrote B4B on the freshly scrubbed wall next to the doorway. As Belinda took Billy’s hand in hers, Billy looked up at the old tree and decided