God's Grace Is Sufficient: A Life After Homicide

By Annie Hess

ANNIE HESS recounts the tragic events after the murder of her oldest son, Christopher in March 2007. During that time in her life, she learned to depend more on God for direction and guidance for her life. Seven years after the murder, she is still telling her story.

Annie Hess was born on March 21, 1960 in Ashland, MS. She is the middle c

• Language: English
• Publisher: LitFire Publishing
• Release date: Dec 6, 2018
• ISBN: 9781643980973

Annie Hess

ANNIE HESS recounts the tragic events after the murder of her oldest son, Christopher in March 2007. During that time in her life, she learned to depend more on God for direction and guidance for her life. Seven years after the murder, she is still telling her story. Annie Hess was born on March 21, 1960 in Ashland, MS. She is the middle child of seven siblings. She grew up in Ashland, Mississippi with her siblings, grandmother, cousins, and her favorite aunt Corine until she moved to Memphis, TN in 1969 where she reconnected with her mother. Annie Hess is a Senior Claims Representative with Tennessee Farmers Mutual Insurance Company in Bartlett, TN where she has been employed for the last eighteen years. She has been married to her husband Carl, the love of her life for seventeen years. They grew up around one another as teenagers but did not connect until the early nineties. She enjoys spending time with her family especially her grandson Christopher, who is now two years old. She enjoys reading, relaxing, and socializing with her family and friends. She now lives in Cordova, TN with her loving family and attends Christ Fellowship Church. She wants this story told not only for her healing but for all families who have struggled through similar experience. Annie Hess has been writing her story in journal format since her son Christopher was murdered in hopes that her story will not only help her family heal and forgive but will help others do the same. This is her platform for getting her story told.

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to the memory of my beloved son, Christopher Craig Smith (10/18/1983 – 03/11/2007) and mother, Ruthie Lee Jackson. May they rest in peace.

FOREWORD

Annie Hess has allowed us to look on the inside of a life experience that is real and not contrived. This book is a spiritual look through the eyes of a mother who has had to face the all too common events that follow criminality and violence in the African American community. Annie Hess has in one expression captured a simple, but profound expression of our Christian faith-God’s grace is sufficient.

The Lord Jesus spoke these words of grace to the Apostle Paul as he was experiencing a point of weakness in his life- a point of distress, and challenge. Paul, however, understood the revealed truth that in our weakness, Christ’s power (that rests on us) is made strong. Without apology this book so honestly, and at times, graphically demonstrates this truth through Annie’s life struggles.

Annie has genuinely shown how (by grace) we can live out what the Word of God requires of us, even in the hardest, darkest places. This book does not take a fictional cookie cutter approach to grace, love, and forgiveness, but it shows the continual process of becoming Christ-like in our everyday walk with God. Sometimes this walk shows us things about ourselves that may be unfamiliar or even unpleasant.

There is hope here that comes out from the darkness. Even though, at times in Annie’s life, it seemed like all was lost. She shows that only by the supernatural grace of God can one even dare to expect to overcome the deepest tragedies of this life. In reading this work, you will see the hand of God and the ever-present grace of God that helps us in our times of weakness and need.

Vince Robertson, Pastor

Christ Fellowship Church

Introduction

God’s Grace Is Sufficient

A Life After Homicide

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong. 

In late winter 2007 my life changed dramatically. I thought I knew God’s grace but I did not have a clue. My whole world became dark and unfamiliar that day. My mind could not handle what was going on around me. I shut down, I could not sleep, I could not eat, I could not drink or even think. That was the day my son Christopher was murdered. That is when I truly found out how gracious God really is. Without God’s grace I do not know how I would have survived this tragedy.  

When Christopher was murdered, I could not focus on God. I asked so many questions and thought God had left me alone in this world to deal with what was going on around me. My life was torn apart. I did not want to read the bible and did not want to hear about God. My days and nights all ran together, and I did not know if I was coming or going. I started asking God questions: Where were You when my son was murdered? Why did You leave him and to die all along?

Why did You leave me? Why did You let this happen to us?

I remember sitting in my quiet place trying to focus on God and I recall just like it was today, God saying I am in the same place I was when my Son died. That was a turning point in my life. 

I know now that God never left my side. He was always there even when I thought He was not. I still get stuck in the moment and cannot move forward because of the thoughts or feelings about my son that overwhelms me so, but I know it will be alright. My life now is like a crumbled up piece of paper, I have good and bad moments, I have highs and lows, ups and downs, but I know God is always there.

I never thought I would