Retired But Not Tired: Retirement Made Easy

By BK Trehan and Indu Trehan

Retirement is usually perceived as boredom, hopelessness and, virtually, the dead end of one's life. But it is a complete misconception. In fact, retirement is the beginning of another phase of life that can be satisfying and meaningful, even better than the 'productive phase', provided we make some smart choices and follow the right strategies. Like other important things in life, we must have some higher purpose, some goal, or mission in life to fulfil after retiring. Our inspiration and deeds should convince others of how great, wonderful and purposeful retired life can be. Retired But Not Tired, a thought-provoking and useful guide, helps us plan a happy, fulfilling and meaningful life after retirement. A must-read for recent retirees and those wanting to plan ahead.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Roli Books
• Release date: Sep 1, 2007
• ISBN: 9789351940777

Book preview

Introduction

Encouraged by the response from readers to our first book The Joy of Living by Yoga, published in 2004, my wife Indu and I set ourselves the task of writing a series of similar books on personal development. We thought that would serve the best purpose in our lives after retirement. While helping others to improve the quality of their lives, we would also learn how to live a better life. The present book, Retired But Not Tired, is one among several such books we intend to write.

The retirement of one of my senior friends and one-time colleague who laid down office in 1989 as the director of a large oil company, was very tragic. A workaholic all his life, he was miserable after retirement with no work to do. He did not know how else he could keep himself busy, so he found solace in drinking, smoking and playing cards. His wife was worried and talked to me often about her husband’s over-indulgence in these unhealthy habits, which they could now ill afford. After living in palatial houses provided by the company all these years, he rented a two bedroom apartment in our housing society as he had not had the foresight to invest in a house of his own. The owner of the apartment wanted a big deposit and a hefty monthly rent, which my retired friend could not afford. Fortunately, I was able to get the deposit waived and the rent reduced.

The next hurdle was to get a cooking gas connection. The person responsible for supplying gas throughout the country through numerous LPG projects had to get his credentials verified by a humble official of our housing society for a gas connection for himself! What an ignominy! Still worse, my friend was a heart patient, asthmatic and diabetic. His health deteriorated rapidly and he died soon after.

What happened to him left a deep impression on my mind. It occurred to me that his experience may not be an isolated one. Is this the definition of retirement that countless others have to go through? Does retirement mean boredom, lack of purpose, a sense of worthlessness, ill health? Is retirement the end of one’s life?

On the other hand, I have also known many retirees who are very happy and view retirement as a golden phase of their lives, a time to reinvent oneself. If this is really so, what are the secrets of their success in retirement? Understanding these secrets became my quest and over the last fifteen years or so, I took the opportunity of studying the lives of many retired friends and acquaintances including our own. It has been a great experience. What I found was that retirement need not always be a painful experience. It is only the culmination of one’s primary career or vocation and not the dead end of one’s life. Retired you may be, but not tired of undertaking many other, sometimes even higher and more important, activities of life. It can indeed be a period of reinventing oneself. Meera, wife of one of my friends who retired as an executive director of human resources from an oil company, says, ‘In my opinion the word retirement should not be used at all. After a certain age one just wants to pursue one’s area of interest. Be it music, reading, social work or whatever. The main idea is to keep oneself occupied, to stay connected and be happy.’

I realized that retirement is indeed a wonderful phase of our lives provided we make some smart choices and follow the right strategies. This book is all about these choices and strategies for a successful retirement. I hope it will benefit readers so that they will not find themselves in the same predicament as my director friend.

As I contemplated the various choices and strategies for a successful retirement, I realized that the biggest challenge of the senior years is how to stay healthy and fit for as long as humanly possible. Ill health can be a serious blow; you cannot enjoy a happy retirement if you are crippled with the usual old-age ailments, no matter how much money and other material comforts you have accumulated in your life. And if you married fairly late in life, it is quite possible that you would be in your late sixties or seventies when you become a grandparent. Would you like to watch your grandson playing while sitting in a wheelchair or do you wish to dance joyously at his wedding? In fact, I realized that a happy retirement is nothing more than successfully managing the quality and quantity of one’s life in the senior years. I, therefore, decided to include the topic of health and well-being in greater detail in this book with simple and practical strategies that every man and woman can follow to stay healthy, happy and active till an extreme old age.

It is said that success in any game requires one to know the rules of the game. Therefore, in order to write on health and fitness, one ought to be a medical expert. But, I am neither a doctor nor a health expert qualified to advise people on issues of health and longevity. And even if I was, in the present age of specialization, no single expert can advise on all the myriad aspects of healthy aging. It requires a multi-disciplinary approach. However, with my inherent interest in medical sciences and the analytical mind of an engineer, which indeed I am, I was determined to learn the necessary skills in health sciences. Who said you can’t teach old dogs new tricks! You are never too old to go to school. I put all my efforts into learning anatomy, physiology, hormones, aging, nutrition and other related matters by studying books, surfing web sites and talking to experts.

It proved to be a great education, the best phase of learning I ever enjoyed. At this point of time, Indu and I were on a six-month sojourn to Vikram, our son and Rekha, our daughter-in-law, in Chicago. The public library close to their home had a wonderful collection of books, videos and other facilities. I spent a great deal of time in the library and studied books on health sciences. The five books which especially gave me a good insight into healthy aging and to which I have referred to extensively in my text include: Mayo Clinic on Healthy Aging edited by Edward T. Creagon, MD; Hormones: Molecular Messengers by John K Young; The Metabolic Plan by Stephen Cherniske, MS; Food as Medicine by Kartar Singh Khalsa, MD; and Food as Medicine Alternative Medicine edited by Alice Feinstein.

Trust me, I have no intention to be a medical expert. The strategies of good health as explained in this book are based on the latest information gleaned from what I had read and our own experience of practising and teaching yoga for a long time. These strategies can be applied safely as guidelines for staying healthy and active. Yoga is a 5000-year-old science of holistic health and healing. You will enjoy good health till a ripe old age, if you practise a few yogic postures, breathing exercises, relaxation and meditation regularly and mindfully.

Besides health, what are the other important issues of retirement? I wanted to know how others feel about it. So, I emailed a questionnaire to a large number of friends and acquaintances – some retired and others yet to retire. The 100-odd responses that I received gave me a good insight into the various issues and options of retirement. Out of the wide-ranging opinions of the respondents, which I have referred to at various places in the book, one opinion was almost unanimous. Most respondents said that retirement is a beautiful phase of one’s life, a second innings well worth playing. I hope that through this book, readers will experience that beauty, learning how to play the second innings of life successfully.

Little did I know when I started working on this book that it would be my own awakening and transformation. Each time I sat down to reflect or scribble a few lines, my mind struggled with conflicting views on the virtues and woes of the retired years. My personal views on not working for remuneration after retirement, selfless service and giving free yoga training got a big jolt from many friends and relatives. My decision not to accept the attractive full-time employment offers that I received soon after retirement came in for much criticism. How would I keep myself busy after such a hectic and challenging career in the oil and gas industry all these years, they asked me. Moreover, not everyone, I was told, could afford the luxury of working for free after retirement.

At times I would get disappointed and frustrated. By reading topical books and scriptures, consulting learned and wiser people, contemplating and meditating, I comforted myself and gained better insight into the subject that cleared my mind from disturbing conflicts and disagreements. For instance, the chapter on ‘Stay Connected with Family and Friends’ took many months to complete, as I felt inadequate, having failed to sincerely practise sincerely some of the concepts advised in the book. I genuinely wanted to improve, but it took me time to change my behaviour and interactions with people. Similarly, while writing the chapter on ‘Finding a Purpose in Life’, my mind was flooded with several conflicting thoughts making it difficult for me to find what it is that we really want or don’t want in life.

To put it simply, writing this book has been my personal renaissance. I am retired – but not really! In fact, after retirement, I am even busier than before doing several things that interest me, to which I can give my wholehearted attention and energy. But there are no orders, no unrealistic targets, no deadlines, no performance reviews, no competition with peers,no annual appraisals – in short I am master of my own destiny. I have not only retired from work, I have retired from worries too! Working on the present book, like the earlier one, has taken much time and effort. It has involved plenty of reading, writing, learning new skills, meeting people and many sleepless nights! But this is not tiring or stressful, rather it is a source of joy and the satisfaction of achievement. It is like a second career. I remember the completion of The Joy of Living by Yoga was no less a milestone in our lives than completing a big refinery project. What a sense of achievement! Perhaps only a project manager could describe how we felt when we held the book in our hands.

Readers may not find this book very ‘academic’ in its content. The reasons are two. Firstly, I must admit with modesty that I am not a very literary person. With my engineering background and love for yoga, I am more of a practical person who looks for nuts and bolts, solutions and practices. Secondly, I deliberately tried to avoid jargon and details that most readers, I believe, don’t want to be burdened with. Further, knowing that few in this fast-paced life have time to read voluminous books, I have tried to be brief and to the point.

If the prescriptions given in this book could help even a few readers to live happily and to find peace and contentment in retirement, we will feel amply rewarded. If you have any questions or suggestions, or want to chat, please contact me at [e-mail]

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Retirement – The Big Picture

Avery strange thing happens as we approach retirement. It is not about graying and thinning hair, a bulging belly, declining energy levels, or potential loss of income. It is that we are overwhelmed with the feeling that we are going downhill with the major part of life being over. This part of life was great fun, full of activity, achievements and rewards. The remaining part will be dull, lonely and worthless. These feelings come irrespective of what we are – president of a multinational company, police chief, teacher, or a carpenter on the shop floor.

Should the picture of retirement look always like a desert and not a wild grassland which can be transformed into a beautiful orchard, provided we have the right approach? We believe that it is all a matter of perception. Retirement should not be seen as termination, but transition to a life full of freedom, new opportunities, education, enjoyment, renewal and fulfilment. In his famous book, The Virtues of Aging, former US President Jimmy Carter says, ‘Retirement is a time to change our previous ambitions and concentrate on things of more immediate interest to us, seemingly simple things. It is very likely that these are the most important things of all, encompassing our most cherished desires and perhaps the closest relationships we have ever had with other people, including our children, grandchildren, friends and neighbours.’ In fact, retirement is a major change in life that opens the gateway to another promising phase: call it the golden period of life or a second innings.

Look over your shoulder at the years gone by, when we were quite rightly focused on building a life for ourselves. For most of these years, we were passing tests in schools and colleges, finding jobs and working towards one goal or another. We had striven to reach the top of the professional ladder, acquire a home, get married and raise children, accumulate a comfortable bank balance, travel to distant places and earn name and fame in profession and society. Some of us were fortunate to realize most of our ambitions without much effort while others were not as lucky and struggled hard to achieve their goals. And there were also a few who failed to achieve what they wanted and were frustrated, disappointed and jealous of those who were successful.

Retirement is the time to define, or rather redefine, the real objective or purpose of life in retrospect and for the time to come. After taking stock of one’s successes and failures in the past, it is time to ask ourselves, who are we, what is the real purpose of our being, what is the real meaning of success and failure, why are some of us healthy and happy while others are suffering, plagued by ill health and envious of their peers? Retirement gives us an opportunity to ponder over these questions and take honest decisions to correct the course of the next part of our journey through life. Let us play a more impressive game in the second innings if we failed to make a good score in the first. Ask yourself: what are you going to do? Continue working until the last breath? Keep to the grindstone doing what you have been doing in the past so many years? Or pursue something you have always wanted to do? Read books you always wanted to read but did not get time for? You have been an engineer, now do you want to play music or write a book? Do some social or volunteer work? Go back to school and train yourself for a new and more satisfying career, or help other adults to read and write? Or just retire: live a life of leisure, play cards, bask in the sun, visit friends, swim, eat and drink and make merry. You have plenty of choices.

RETIREMENT AND AGING

Retirement is an inevitable part of our growing process. It simply evolves along the continuum of aging. In fact, we are aging every moment of our lives. The process of aging starts right from the time we are born. However, it does not mean much to most during childhood, adolescence and youth when growing old and dying is a concept that applies to others, not to us. It is not until 40 or so that we confront it ourselves. A few wrinkles on the face, some gray hair, a stiff back after a jog, difficulty reading smaller prints, seeing our parents and friends becoming old, handicapped and sometimes dying, are a few signals of aging. And before we begin to understand the mysteries of the inevitable process of growing older and learning the strategies to cope with it, it is our turn. Suddenly we are labelled retired, senior citizens, gray, silver, aged, elderly, or old.

The first time Indu and I realized how much we had aged was when we visited my sister in Allahabad in November 2003. At New Delhi railway station, I presented the reservation slip to the clerk at the counter along with the fare for two tickets. He returned 25 per cent of the amount of one ticket to me. When I asked why, he said that I was entitled to 25 per cent concession as a senior citizen. ‘But, I am not a senior citizen, I am only 63,’ I said.

‘You are old enough to be eligible for this concession, this is for people above 60,’ he replied politely. As if this was not a sufficient reminder of our advancing years, we got another jolt when my sister’s chauffeur who had come to receive us at Allahabad station, greeted us as uncle and aunt. He must have been at least 50 years of age himself!

When are we really old? At 50, 60, 70 or 90? The correct answer is that we are old when we think we are. We are old when we fail to see a goal or purpose in life. We are old when we feel hopeless and give up the desire and will to reach that goal. We are old when we accept a substantial limitation on our physical and mental activities. We are old when we lose our identity and independence and start depending on others for our needs. We are old when we stop learning new skills. ‘Anyone who stops learning is old,’ said Henry Ford, ‘whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.’

MF Husain, the icon of contemporary Indian art, turned 90 on 9 September 2005 and is still going strong. A fast and talented painter, Husain has created over 25,000 paintings in seven-odd decades. ‘Yet, I feel that is not even 10 per cent of what I have bubbling inside me,’ he asserts.

KK Bhanot, 82, who participated in the Delhi half marathon held recently, said after completing the race, ‘My age has never stopped me from doing what I wanted. I walked faster and almost ran in the marathon as I was determined to do my best. I challenge anyone, younger or older, to a race, a dance competition or any physical event. I might be old but have more stamina than most people. I was willing to walk another 5 km even after the marathon.’

DON’T DESPAIR

Individuals like Bhanot and Husain prove that we need not fear the aging process simply because it is pushing us back in the race of life. There is no need to despair. Retirement is not resignation from life, but a period of dynamic and purposeful living. You can still be in the driver’s seat provided you take some wise decisions and prepare yourself for the new phase of life. We need to give enough thought to the consequences of many major life changes in retirement that can prove very disturbing and painful if we are not physically, psychologically and emotionally prepared for them. Because of better economic conditions, improvements in sanitation, hygiene and medical care, better diet and nutrition, improved awareness about health and lifestyle, people are living much longer than before. David Blane, professor of medical sociology at Imperial College, London said, ‘One hundred is an entirely achievable lifespan even now. It is going to become extremely interesting in a few decades as people begin to reach 100 more regularly.’ Life after retirement is nearly another life. For instance, if you retire at 60 and hope to live till 80 or 90 or even more, you may be spending more than one-third of your life in retirement. And that can be a long time if you are not purposefully engaged and just idling, doing nothing. Thanks to the longevity phenomenon of recent years, it makes us more prudent to learn how to make our retirement years happy and fulfilling.

This book contains some basic principles, which, if practised skilfully, will help maintain, or even improve the quality of our senior years. In the subsequent chapters we will know:

ƀ How to approach retirement in a positive manner

ƀ How to plan your retirement

ƀ How to find a purpose in life

ƀ The financial security for a happy retirement

ƀ How to take care of your health

ƀ How to live happily with yoga

ƀ The importance of family and friends in retirement

ƀ How faith and spirituality can comfort us

ƀ Some common ailments of senior years

ƀ Some safety concerns of senior citizens

ƀ How some pioneers can inspire us

ƀ How to discipline the mind with inspiring thoughts

ƀ The key to successful retirement

ƀ Where to look for additional resources.

WHO SHOULD READ THIS BOOK

This book is for all those men and women who have already retired or are going to retire soon and want to know the secrets of leading a successful retired life – purposeful, fulfilling and uplifting. This book is also for those younger people who may be some years away from their official retirement age, but want to plan and prepare themselves for retirement. Many of the secrets of successful retirement involve attitudinal, behavioural and emotional adjustments. We take time to make such adjustments. It is, therefore, good to start training oneself for the big change much before one’s retirement. And finally, this book is for all those young