The Questionable Life of a Despicable Earl: Tales From Seldon Park, #24

By Bethany M. Sefchick

Known as The Despicable Earl, Lord Noah Acton has one of the most wretched reputations in all of England.  A rakehell of the worst sort, there is no merry widow he won't flirt with and no courtesan he won't bed.  However, Noah, now the Duke of Springford, has a dark secret he's kept hidden for years.  A secret that has nearly corrupted his soul and could destroy him completely if it ever comes to light.

 

Lady Priscilla Trew has been in love with Noah since they were children.  However, after her birthday ball, it's become clear to her that Noah will never be hers.  Fleeing to the Lake District, Cilla hopes to enter into a contract marriage with a half-Scottish, half-English viscount and hopefully forget how much she still loves a man who will never marry her.

 

When Noah follows Cilla to the north, she quickly learns that getting over a man she's loved all of her life isn't nearly as easy as she believes, especially when he's right there in front of her!  Can Cilla and Noah find their way to the altar or will his secrets condemn him to a life alone and force her into a loveless marriage with a man who isn't quite as charming as he appears?

 

This 111,500 word novel is written in the modern, Regency romance style for a slightly hotter and sexier read.  It may not be appropriate for younger audiences.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bethany M. Sefchick
• Release date: Mar 17, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393213987

Bethany M. Sefchick

Making her home in the mountains of central Pennsylvania, Bethany Sefchick lives with her husband, Ed, and a plethora of Betta fish that she’s constantly finding new ways to entertain. In addition to writing, Bethany owns a jewelry company, Easily Distracted Designs. It should be noted that the owner of the titular Selon Park - one Lord Nicholas Rosemont, the Duke of Candlewood, a.k.a. "The Bloody Duke" - first appeared in her mind when she was eighteen years old and had no idea what to make of him, or of his slightly snarky smile.  She has been attempting to dislodge him ever since - with absolutely no success. When not penning romance novels or creating sparkly treasures, she enjoys cooking, scrapbooking, and lavishing attention on any stray cats who happen to be hanging around. She always enjoys hearing from her fans at: [e-mail]

Book preview

Prologue

Thistledown Grove

Cumbria

June 1811

"We really should not have done this.  Or at least we should not have gone so far as we did.  I am a gentleman, and I should know better, except that you, my darling, are just so…so…so damnably tempting!"

Well, I am a lady, and I say yes, we most certainly should have done this.  We also should plan on doing it again.  Soon.  For I thoroughly enjoyed that even more than I anticipated.

I am still not….

Shhh.  Now come here, for I find that I am a bit chilled without my clothes on and you?  Well, you are deliciously warm and toasty.  I should like to warm up a bit before we do that again.  Perhaps with me on top, this time?

What could he say in response to that?  Nothing really.  Not when her words made his blood begin to heat and his cock start to rise again.

Next to Noah, Cilla shifted slightly on the bed so that she could better curl up next to him, though she did pull the sheets a bit higher as well, likely to ward off the chill more than anything else.  It might be June, but the Lake District weather was being its usual unpredictable self.  Sun this morning had given way to cloudy, grey skies that now threatened rain along with much cooler temperatures.

Outside it was so dismal that not even the small lamp that Noah had lit when he and Cilla snuck into this unused attic room could illuminate much beyond the worn oak table next to the bed.  It was so dark that one might think it was night instead of day.  Then again, as this had been intended as a storage room and not a love nest, everything was done in dark, dismal colors with little thought to décor.  Even in full sun this place was likely to be dark and dreary.

Not that it mattered to Noah.  At least not when his beloved Cilla was here beside him, naked in his arms after he had claimed her for his own the first time.

Weather aside, this afternoon had been nothing short of magical.  Not that he would say such a fanciful thing to her, of course.  After all, men did not discuss their feelings or portray themselves as vulnerable.  Especially not men with weak souls and soft hearts like Noah possessed.  At least that was what his uncle had drummed into his head all of these years.

No, he would not think of his uncle today.  Instead, Noah would think only of Cilla and how lovely she looked in the dim light and how soft her skin was everywhere – but especially beneath her clothes.  He would remember how she had looked when he finally released inside of her, her face awash in both surprise and delight.  He would remember how she felt when her womanly core tightened around his manhood.  He would…

Ah.  He had to stop these musings.  He was allowing himself to become distracted.  He could not afford that.  Not now.  There was too much at stake, including their futures.

If it starts to rain, Cil, we shall be missed, Noah tried again, though in truth, he had no desire to leave this cozy love nest either.  Not when the bed was so soft and the company so delightful.  Your parents at the very least will be looking for us, knowing we are not so foolish as to be caught out in the rain all this time.

My parents will be in their own bedchamber doing exactly what we have just done but for much longer spans of time, Cilla corrected as she stretched languidly, the sheet sliding down to reveal her delectable breasts with their pert, still-swollen-from-his-attentions nipples.  Mama and Papa would mate all about the house if Grandfather and Aunt Maddie would allow it.  At times like this?  My parents see only each other.  During these periods, Phin and I might as well not exist.

What periods would those be? Noah asked as he shifted to his side so that he could rest his head in his hands while using his other hand to stoke Cilla’s bare arm.

For really, she was correct when she said they could certainly do this again, and that no one would care.  In truth, he was rather looking forward to it, because, well, he had desired Cilla for what seemed like ages.  Now that he finally had her in his bed – or simply a bed in this case – he wasn’t all that keen to let her go.

Still, Noah was curious about her parents.  The entire concept of family was strange to him, but then, he hadn’t exactly had many examples of a proper family in his life.  Having actual parents was something he’d never known.

Then again, just about everything regarding relationships was strange and a bit confusing to Noah, parental or otherwise.  Particularly when it came to women.  There weren’t many women in his life, after all.

Other than Cilla and possibly her aunt, Madelene?  There were, well, none.  The housekeeper at Farhaven Hall where he had grown up did not count.

Cilla sighed and ran her hands through Noah’s hair and for a moment, he did nothing more than relish the sensation of her fingers on his scalp, making it tingle.

Periods when Mama grows moody and depressed, as she is now.  She becomes restless and bored, almost as if she is discontent with her life.  Cilla smoothed a hand over Noah’s bare chest, before leaning over to kiss one of his flat, male nipples, and he shuddered a bit at her touch.  Heavens above, but he loved the way she touched him.  Actually, he simply loved her.  Period.  When Mama becomes despondent, as she was this morning, Papa takes her bed and attempts to coax her into a better humor.

With sex.  Cilla didn’t have to say that part for Noah to understand what she meant.

Does it work?  Again, Noah had nothing to judge Cilla’s assertions against, but his gut told him she spoke the truth.  He also wondered if that was normal behavior for a married couple, though he rather doubted it.

Usually.  Turning her head, Cilla glanced out the window, her own gaze a bit distant now and for a moment, Noah wondered if she suffered her mother’s afflictions, though he’d never known her to be depressed.  She might be the love of his life, but in some ways, he knew so little about her.  Though her moods tend to be worse when it rains.  At times like this, they won’t emerge from the bedchamber for days if the situation is particularly bad.  Then Cilla turned back and offered Noah a rather wicked smile, along with a saucy wink.  Though now that I know the true pleasures of the body, I can certainly understand what is so appealing about the act, rain or no.  As I said, I also have every intention of doing that again.

Seemingly on cue, a light rain began to fall as Noah looked past his beloved and out the window to where the area’s myriad of greens and browns that signaled new growth began to sway in the wind that had just picked up as well.

New growth.  Damn his miserable hide.  What they had just done could lead to just that – a new life growing with Cilla.  He hadn’t been careful.  Instead, Noah had been too overwhelmed by the magnificent woman who had deigned to share his bed this chilly summer day.

Then again, this was Cilla and Noah had been overwhelmed by her for their entire lives.  After all, she was the glamourous, well-traveled young lady while he was more of a studious man with little experience.

Did she realize what they had just done?  Likely so, for she was a good deal more worldly about such matters than he was.  Still, it had to be mentioned before they did something else equally as stupid.  Such as coupling again.

Cilla, Noah stroked his fingertips over her breasts, secretly thrilled when she shuddered at his touch, we are not yet betrothed.  How someone like him could give someone like her so much pleasure confounded his brainbox.  There is anticipating our vows and then there is…what we have just done.  I was not careful and released inside of you.  It cannot be undone.  I should have realized that and stopped this before it went a step too far.  We are not your parents.

But we will be betrothed shortly and wed soon after.  I really do not see the problem, even if I am with child.  She cocked her head to the side, that same, familiar smile that dared him to do things he ought not to do gracing her lips.  Also, there is no such thing as a step too far when two people are as deeply in love as we are.  My parents and their actions on a day like this prove that, do they not?

Propping herself up on one elbow, Noah noted that Cilla didn’t so much as blush when the sheet fell down completely, exposing her most feminine of places to his hungry gaze.  He supposed that came from her years of living abroad while she and her brother, Phin, traveled with their parents.

Noah could not be so cavalier, at least not about his body.  Not the way Cilla was.  Then again, she was a golden, flaxen-haired goddess fully coming into her own now that she had just turned eighteen.  Though he was the same age as she, he was, and likely always would be, a shy, thin, scholarly intellectual with unremarkable dark hair and spectacles whose only saving grace was that he was an earl at present and would eventually become a duke.

Assuming his wretched uncle ever died, that is.  Knowing the old bastard, he might decide to live forever just to spite Noah.

In truth, if his uncle had his way, Noah would never be the next duke.  Still, a family line with damnably poor health and the death of all other male relatives had essentially ensured Noah’s place as next in succession.  After all, Noah’s father had passed away shortly after Noah had been born, likely from the pain of losing his wife in childbirth.  All of Noah’s other uncles had met untimely ends as well.  He was the only one left alive with a chance to provide another heir.

There might have been a distant cousin somewhere in India or the Outer Hebrides or possibly even America, but not one with a close enough blood tie to supplant Noah as the heir – oftentimes much to Noah’s chagrin.  He didn’t want to be a future duke, but he was, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

His decidedly cool and often cold relationship with his uncle was why Noah was here in a dusty attic room at Thistledown Grove, the early summer house favored by Cilla’s parents for a few weeks before they removed to the family’s country seat of Greenfield Abby and its better weather in Suffolk.  Here in this household, Noah was wanted.  He was desired and yes, he was loved.  For a young man who had known little of such things, he craved what Cilla and her family gave him all the more.  Likely because they gave their affection freely and with no conditions attached.

Still, there was affection and there was…well, there was what he and Cilla had just done in this tiny room without much thought to the consequences.

I do love you, Cilla.  With all of my heart, I do.  Noah brushed a wayward curl back from her forehead.  I have loved you since we were children, I think.  For me, it has only ever been you.

Despite what his uncle said about being weak, Noah had to confess at least some of what was in his heart.  He loved Cilla desperately and almost beyond reason at times.  He could not imagine taking another woman to his bed.  Never.

Which is just about as long as I have loved you, she replied, rising up so that she could straddle his hips again, her curvaceous body seeming to undulate before his eyes and making his vision blur.  Knowing Cilla, that was probably her intent.  This isn’t wrong, Noah.  Not when two people share a love as strong and deep as ours.  Please stop fretting so.

Unable to completely quell his fears, Noah’s hands stilled Cilla’s hips as she moved to take him inside of her body once again, his cock already far ahead of his brain in this matter.  Still, the question had to be asked.  He would berate himself in silence if he did not give it voice.

And if you are with child?  What then?  His dark eyes bored into her lighter ones.  It is June.  The soonest we might hope to wed is July.  There will be questions should a babe come too early.  Especially from my uncle.

Cilla shrugged carelessly in that Italian style she had picked up while on the Continent as a young girl.  Childbearing is not an exact science, Noah.  Or so my mother assures me.  After all, she and my father are mad for each other and yet, they have only ever produced two children.  She paused.  I also might not be with child.  Actually, given what I learned in Greece a few years ago, it is unlikely.  I doubt we have anything to fear.

The shrug and her comment were yet another example of how different they truly were.  Priscilla – his Cilla – was a woman of the world, having traveled extensively through more countries than Noah could ever hope to see.  Her knowledge of the world came from experience.  His came from books, for his uncle rarely allowed him to leave their neighboring estate, let alone Cumbria or – Heaven forbid – England.

Why this goddess had chosen him when she could have had any gentleman she desired remained a mystery to him.  Yes, he would one day inherit a much loftier title, but so would other men of her acquaintance.  He was not unique in that regard.  Nor was he particularly handsome.

At least not in comparison to her stunning beauty.

Cilla, with her fair hair and light blue eyes was the perfect English rose while Noah?  Well, his coffee-brown hair and light green eyes that were often hidden behind spectacles made him appear as if he was more suited to a teaching position at Eton than to wooing a diamond of the first water.

Still, looks were not everything.  Nor did their differences dimmish the fire that burned between them.  Perhaps, in the end, like her parents, that was what mattered the most.  The fire.  The passion.  The love.

Still…  Unable to stop himself, Noah reached for Cilla’s nipple, tweaking it between his thumb and forefinger.  He doubted there would ever be a time he did not crave her body like an opium addict craved the drug.  If you are with child…

Then it matters not for we shall wed soon anyway.  She tossed her head in that carefree manner she had and for a moment, Noah wondered if he had ever been as bold and brash as this woman.  Likely not.  He was simply not that kind of gentleman.

He was careful and staid.  She was wild and uninhibited.  They should not rub along so well together and yet, somehow, they did.

Noah was not surprised when Cilla leaned down and kissed him deeply, her tongue seeking entrance to his mouth.  Nor was he surprised when she brushed the tips of her breasts over his chest, teasing and tempting him to take what she was so willingly offering.

She was a passionate woman whose view of the world had been shaped by other cultures and other lands.  It was little wonder she was so despised by the Society matrons who had witnessed her come out this past spring.  No Almack’s voucher for this lady, though, as a duke’s granddaughter, no one had been foolish enough to give her the cut direct.  Still, the matchmaking mamas made certain their impressionable young daughters kept their distance from The Hellion, as Cilla was known, lest they begin to get any immoral ideas.

We are playing with fire, Cilla.  Noah tried again to put her off, but his own resolve was weakening with each breath he took and each slide of her naked body against his.  They were in love.  They would be married soon.  She knew far more than he ever would on the subject of babes and how a lady became with child.

If she was not concerned, why should he be?

"We are fire, Noah, Cilla corrected with a sigh as he skimmed her hips with his hands.  When we are together, we burn hotter than any flame ever could."

In that, at least, he could agree with her.  What had happened between them today was simply the culmination of years of slow, simmering desire.  Friendship turned to love.  Companionship to passion.  Together, they were incendiary.  And more than anything?  He wanted more.  Much, much more.

A slow, lazy smile broke over Noah’s face then.  He wanted her.  She wanted him.  Why fight what was inevitable?  She was also right.  They were going to be married soon enough.  Even his uncle insisted that Noah prepare to choose a bride, the sooner the better.

If you insist, he replied, flashing her a grin that he hoped was just a bit roguish.

I do, she replied, rising up once again to resettle herself over his hips.

Noah could feel the dampness of her feminine core against his rapidly swelling cock.  He could see the desire and, unbelievably, love shimmering in Cilla’s eyes.  More than that, he could see his future when he looked at her.  A future with her by his side as he one day claimed the dukedom that had been promised to him since practically birth.

The proprieties didn’t matter.  Nothing mattered but Cilla and the way Noah loved her.  The way she loved him in return.

Take me, Noah, Cilla whispered as she shifted restlessly above him.  I am yours.  Just as I have always been.  Just as I always will be.  Forever.

Unable to contain his lust any longer, Noah thrust up, burying himself inside of Cilla until he was fully seated.  Then, when he was certain she was comfortable straddling him, he began to move, as did she, their bodies giving and taking pleasure over and over again, pushing each other to the brink.

And then, after what seemed like only a matter of mere moments, they did fall over that brink together, each finding their release in the other as the rain continued to fall outside, the encroaching mists shrouding them from the world beyond.  A world where the was no one but Cilla and Noah and their love for each other.  A love that was destined to last until the end of time.

And it was perfect.

Chapter One

May 1821

Havenhurst

Just outside of London

Well, that was…unexpected.  Not to mention more than a bit unpleasant.

Bending down, Lady Priscilla Trew – Cilla to her family and friends – picked up a discarded flower from the carpet.  More flowers in pink, red, and rose hues lay scattered about, contrasting quite nicely with the gold and maroon hues in the Aubusson rug, but for some reason, that single, perfect red bloom caught her attention.  Likely it had been flung from one of the numerous vases damaged during the scuffle between some of the house party guests.

She’d not planned for chaos during her birthday celebration and ball, but like most of her life as of late, wherever she went, such disasters seemed to follow. 

Leave it.  The staff will see to it.

The light touch on her gloved arm nearly set her aflame, but then, it had always been this way between the two of them.  No man had ever possessed the power to affect her the way Lord Noah Acton, the current Earl of Snowly, did.  A power he still possessed even after all this time.

I know, but I feel responsible somehow.  She stroked her fingers over the fragile flower’s petals, unable to meet his eyes for fear that she might drown with desire in them.

Noah gave a rusty chuckle, and the sound tickled every last one of her senses.  How could you have known that Lady Margaretta and her mother would be so devious?  Or so blood thirsty?  He, too, bent down to pick up something from the carpet.  In this case, it was a broken shard of a vase.  Do not blame yourself, Cilla.  Those two were determined to get their hooks into your brother no matter the cost and no matter who was hurt in the process.  Slowly, he turned the shard in his hands, the gold gilt atop the rose porcelain catching the remnants of the slowly fading light.  Given what else they did to further their goals of Margaretta becoming the next Duchess of Fullbridge, I hardly think a smashed vase or four matters to them.

Now it was Cilla’s turn to smile, an action that felt just as foreign to her as Noah’s laugh obviously did to him.  No, I suppose you are right.  What is a bit of carnage when there is a chance to become a duchess on the line?

And carnage there was.  More than Cilla could have dreamed two women could make in such a short period of time.  And in more ways than one.

Everything was in tatters now, it seemed.  Not just the fancy gowns whose spangles and beads and lace lay strewn across Havenhurst’s ballroom floor after Lady Temins – Lady Margaretta’s dragon of a mother – had shredded them in an attempt to reach Lord Harlow and do him bodily harm.  Not that Cilla could really blame Lady Temins.  Harlow had been the man to lay with Margaretta and quite likely get her with child.  Not Cilla’s brother Phin.

To become a duchess is a rare thing in our world.  Some women would give their lives for the chance, while others would happily lay with the devil if it furthered their goals.  Noah squeezed her hand and despite Cilla’s better judgment, she squeezed his back, relishing the feel of his body heat against hers.

They should not be this close.  They certainly shouldn’t be touching.  Such intimate contact wasn’t proper.  Yet, given what they had once shared, how could it be improper, really?  For this was a mere touch.  Clothing between them.  Not like before where there had been nothing more than breath.

Being a duchess is not everything, you know.  At least for some of us.  Slowly, Cilla picked her way through the debris that littered the floor, careful not to cut herself on the numerous broken vases that seemed to be everywhere.  When she reached the center of the dance floor, she began to hum a waltz as she reached for Noah’s hand again.  Some of us yearn for more.

Perhaps, he allowed as he took her hand without hesitation, something the old Noah would never have done.  Though for some dukes, finding the right duchess so that the line might continue is everything.

Cilla knew Noah wasn’t talking about Phin any longer.  He was talking about his own family situation.  That, however, was dangerous ground to tread and she was not ready to go there just now.  Not when the shattered remains of her birthday ball lay scattered on the floor around them.

Enough talk, she announced with a shake of her head.  The night was fleeting and with the dawn?  Who knew what might happen?  They had this moment now, and there was no reason not to take it.  Talk changes nothing.  Dance with me.  It was not a question.

Now there is the Cilla Trew I know so well.  A smile lit Noah’s face and for a moment, she was swept back in time to another birthday ball.  One held in Cumbria on the day she turned eighteen.  The two of them had danced that night as well.  But not as she hoped to dance with him now.

I have always been here, she replied softly as she went willingly into his arms and then stepped off into the dance, their feet guided by the slightly off-key tune that she hummed.

I know.  Noah’s normally light green eyes turned the color of a darkened forest then, and something old and familiar thrummed in her veins.  I’m sorry if I have not been here as I should have.

In Noah’s arms now, Cilla felt the same, familiar pull between them and knew that he did as well.  She could hear it in the way his breathing changed and the way he held her just a bit closer than was proper.  So close that she swore she could feel his manhood swelling against her.

Together like this, it was as if they had never been apart.  It was as if nothing had changed between them over the years and they had not become so very different people from the bright-eyed youths they had been.

Noah.  There was so much she wished to say, but she had no idea where to being or even how to form the words.

Just dance, Cilla.  For now, let us just be and forget the rest.  Everything else will all still be there when we are done.  She heard the matching longing in his voice and took comfort that she was no alone in this state of confusion.

There was also not much she could say to that, really.  Nor did she want to, for she had always preferred actions to words.  Just as he did.  Perhaps actions could now say what her mind could not.

When Cilla slowly lowered her head to Noah’s chest, he pulled her closer.  Too close for the steps of the dance.  Too close for any couple that were not lovers.  This was scandalous.  If anyone happened upon them, there would be hell to pay and there would be long-reaching repercussions.  However, for Noah and Cilla, it would not have been the first time.

Above them, the candles in the glittering crystal chandelier began to sputter and their flames die out, casting the room into ever-increasing shadow.  The mirrored walls still reflected back the light, but it was growing fainter now, the night starting to deepen and the house quieting as it began to settle as the guests retreated to their beds.

Cilla heard distant rustles of fabric but if it was a servant or her body brushing against Noah’s she had no idea.  Nor did she care.  All she knew was that she was in his arms again and for the first time in ten very long years, her world felt right.  She felt as if she was where she belonged with the man she had always loved.

For Cilla had never stopped loving Noah.  Not even when she had fled back to Egypt for a time after that disastrous, rainy summer along the lakes.  Nor when she had detoured to Italy and allowed herself to become enchanted with that handsome and dashing count in Venice.  Or when she had traipsed through Scotland and indulged in a brief flirtation with a powerful clan laird before returning home.

Despite everything, for Cilla, it had only ever been Noah.

He was the only man she had ever desired to the point where she would give up everything from him.  Because she loved him so very deeply.

No matter what kind of man he had allowed himself to become over the years, she still loved him and likely always would.

More fool her, she supposed.  Not that she cared overmuch just then.

For just then, Cilla was weary to her very bones.  She was weary of this world and her life.  She was weary of expectations.  She was weary of trying to hold the Trew family together and run her brother’s households while hoping for a small shred of life of her own.

In short, she was just tired.

More than that, she felt old and could not ever remember feeling young and carefree.  Not like the young ladies at the ball.  Talking of gowns and fabrics and the latest on-dits about Society happenings.

She felt ancient.  Weary of watching her world and her life slip by while she stood locked in place, the strings of her life being pulled by others who only cared for their own desires without a thought for hers.

Or at least she had felt that way before she found refuge in Noah’s arms tonight.

Now she felt, if not young, then a bit younger than she had even a few hours ago.

Cilla had no idea how long they danced together in that fashion, their bodies pressed so indecently close together and neither of them caring.  At some point, she stopped humming.  His feet stopped moving.

By the time she came back to herself, they were simply standing there together in the middle of Havenhurst’s grand ballroom, their arms locked around each other and their hearts beating in perfect time, just as they had so often in the past.

A past that in so many ways seemed like another lifetime ago.

We should not be doing this.  Noah’s voice was thick and it reminded Cilla of the way he used to speak when they were young.  Forever fearful of being caught out with her and bringing her and her reputation harm.  Someone might see us.

Do you think that I care? she asked softly.  "I, the woman the ton dubbed ‘The Hellion’ all of those years ago?"

Perhaps not, but you should.  Slowly, Noah pulled away from her and Cilla could see the regret in his eyes.  Regret mixed with something she could not name and still other things deeply clouded by secrets.  Secrets that had kept them apart all of these years.  Secrets that were still keeping them apart.

Noah, I…  The words died on Cilla’s lips even as she thought about speaking them.  What could she say that would change things between them?  Honestly, she didn’t know.  If she did, she would have spoken those words long ago.

Cilla, don’t.  Her name on his lips held so much emotion that she did not know where to begin.

Her head swam with thoughts and emotions and the events of this evening.  All of them pushing down on her at once until she could no longer think or breathe.  Until she was tempted to forget the past and do something rash.  Something that, deep inside, she knew would be her undoing.

Slowly backing away to the edge of the ballroom, Cilla twirled the wilting flower through her fingers.  She had all but forgotten it was in her hands, its fragile petals crushed now from being pressed against Noah’s hard body.  When she was with this man, she thought of little else but him.  That was the danger.  The risk.  Just as it had always been.

I had such high hopes for this ball.  She paused to place the flower on a nearby table.  This entire house party, actually.

She felt Noah’s hand return to hers for the briefest of moments.  This is not your fault, Cilla.

How can you say that? she asked him as she pulled back so that she might twirl herself into the middle of the ballroom floor again.  Alone this time, for that was safer.  While I could not have known what Lady Margaretta and her horrible mother were about, I should have known about Duncan Cleary if nothing else!  I am not a stupid woman!  She paused and chewed on her lips, an old habit that had never completely been overcome.  Or at least I never used to be.

Cilla saw Noah flinch at her words, shattering whatever had been between them after the dance.  She should have expected that.

Her statement just now was another reminder that she had planned this house party with the idea of seducing Lord Duncan Cleary, heir to the Marquess of Waverly.  Seduction with the hope of marriage.  Marriage to another man.  Not to Noah.

You could not have known… Noah began but Cilla cut him off as she whirled back to face him, her gown a cloud of silk and beads whirling around her like froth.

Suddenly, she was tired of being placated.  Phin placated her all the time.  As did many of her male friends.  She could not tolerate it if Noah did the same.  For whatever lay between them now, he had always been honest with her.  Usually brutally so.

That Duncan has gotten at least two women with child and only set his sights on me when he believed me so desperate to wed that he assumed I wouldn’t care what he had done?  That it would not matter to me one whit that all he truly desired was access to my funds?  That he thought I would be amenable to courtship by a despicable rogue like him after my long association with you?

Noah stiffened at her words and Cilla felt herself flush with shame.  She had not meant to say that.  At least not aloud.

There was being honest and then there was being cruel.  She had just been cruel.  She