Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    The Little Book of More Abuse
    The Little Book of More Abuse
    The Little Book of More Abuse
    Ebook127 pages9 minutes

    The Little Book of More Abuse

    By Jasmine Birtles

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    So there you are, gorgeous, gifted and a brain the size of a planet and what do you have to put up with? Idiots, morons and people so ugly they ought to have a license to go outside. What should you do? Smile sweetly and put up with them? Gaze into the middle distance and talk about the weather? No. Put them right, sort them out and let them know where they really stand in the food chain of life. Pick any of the pithy put-downs in this little book and you'll never need to be nice to anyone ever again. This Little Book of Abuse: for life's little annoyances.... and their parents.

    'The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead'

    'Next time you cross the road, don't look'

    'Of course you're special. You went to a special school right?'

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPan Macmillan
    Release dateJan 26, 2012
    ISBN9781447216490
    The Little Book of More Abuse
    Author

    Jasmine Birtles

    Jasmine Birtles is a finance expert, financial and business commentator, broadcaster, author and humourist. She read English Literature at Christ's College, Cambridge, where she was a member of the Footlights. She is the author of several books, including A Woman's Little Instruction Book, The Little Book of Abuse and The Money Magpie.

    Related to The Little Book of More Abuse

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      “Winter”

      Mar 26, 2022

      “Winter”
      7 min read

    • Article

      You Talkin' To Me?

      Jun 22, 2023

      You Talkin' To Me?
      3 min read

    • Article

      GOING TO A PARTY with Alzheimer’s

      Jul 2, 2020

      It is a Saturday evening. I am getting ready to go to a party. I am not looking forward to it, though it is hard to explain why. I can see the tremor of my fingers, as I apply my make-up. I worry that my lipstick is smudged, or perhaps on my nose in

      4 min read

    • Article

      Look After Yourself

      Jun 13, 2018

      EDITOR DAMIEN ASHENHURST Every now and then I write about the subject of suicide. At times I’ve brought someone in, like Phil Jamieson from the band Grinspoon, to have a say. The reason I do this in a dirtbike magazine is because our demographic is p

      4 min read

    • Article

      Side Gig

      Aug 8, 2019

      Side Gig
      6 min read

    • Article

      Sylvie Baumgartel

      Jun 15, 2018

      I walked in the door, took off my coat, took off my sunglasses, set them down with my keys, took off my shoes and socks, my jeans, my shirt, my bra and underwear, set them all on the chair by the door, walked into the house naked, went to the fridge,

      10 min read

    • Article

      Don’t Have A Bird

      Aug 2, 2020

      There are so many rites of passage you’ve already missed out on, and the school ball is destined to become another item on that ever-growing list. You try to delay the inevitable until every breath from your lungs sounds as if cystic fibrosis is cack

      12 min read

    • Article

      You Talkin’ To Me?

      Dec 7, 2023

      You Talkin’ To Me?
      3 min read

    • Article

      Five Poems

      Jul 1, 2019

      You agreed to meet him in one of those cafés you imagined yourself writing in if you could afford to live in that city. He was also a writer, but older, and you wanted to know how to get published. Slip a picture of yourself in with your poems, he ad

      6 min read

    • Article

      Aisling Bea

      Feb 6, 2024

      Being an adult is… Being constantly aware that death is simultaneously very close and very far away, so each day is a rush to slow down so that you can get enough energy from stillness to speed up and get going. What are you worried about currently?

      3 min read

    • Article

      Somehow I Became Respectable

      May 21, 2019

      Somehow I Became Respectable
      4 min read

    • Article

      Where Is My Mind

      Jun 4, 2023

      Where Is My Mind
      4 min read

    • Article

      Virginia Ironside

      Jan 12, 2022

      Q My mother died last year and I’m still tormented by the fact that, despite all my efforts, she died alone. I’d set up a rota with my family so there was someone with her all the time during her last days, even at night. But when it was my shift, sh

      3 min read

    • Article

      Henry Winkler

      Jan 8, 2024

      Henry Winkler
      6 min read

    • Article

      Prey

      May 10, 2021

      As I drove slowly towards the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that

      41 min read

    • Article

      Prose

      Jul 6, 2023

      Prose
      2 min read

    • Article

      Search and Destroy

      Oct 24, 2017

      My daughter has bugs living in her hair. It is my job to kill them. The post Search and Destroy appeared first on Guernica.

      7 min read

    • Article

      Siphons

      Feb 6, 2020

      Siphons
      6 min read

    • Article

      Polished Concrete Flaws

      Apr 24, 2022

      Polished Concrete Flaws
      7 min read

    • Article

      You Talkin’ To Me?

      Apr 1, 2022

      You Talkin’ To Me?
      3 min read

    • Article

      Pancake

      Sep 1, 2022

      Pancake
      3 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for The Little Book of More Abuse

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      The Little Book of More Abuse - Jasmine Birtles

      n`book_preview_excerpt.html]R͊0 ~fYX e.-] =+q,cɳmaOz$=[JK1~$O7:$Z8mAj+ s(q|XɁeNIW,̑D[FFxD".֔H6@ {wZxn&kf 5px1hx Zspvg*͎tO ]-nB#~oR. JXV4RX-& &|)G=SAYqcj_ͤPňhK>w# Pip u 4CwۂYޜR]mhImՁpod BA517+(
      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1