Social Distancing: The Introvert's Dream (or so I Thought)

By Joe Noland

In these pages, the reader will experience a whimsical romp through the 2020 coronavirus social distancing period. Part of its whimsy will be found in the cartoon caricatures created by Doris Noland. While somewhat mischievous and playful, its overriding spiritual message will spring forth with accented clarity. In the beginning, it will make introverted personalities smile, while the extroverted ones may squirm a little.

 

In the ending, it will… well, just let me say that it will end climactically, including a bonus section introducing a brand-new concept on leadership--one that merges these two leadership extremes together.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joe Noland
• Release date: Jan 17, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393363439

Joe Noland

Joe’s ministry can be summed up in three words: Chaos, Creativity and Controversy - three elements implicit in any successful innovative endeavor. Cecil B. DeMille, renowned producer of Biblical epics, once wrote, “Creativity is a drug I cannot live without.” Joe’s mantra reads, “Creativity is my drug of choice.” Look for this creative opiate to make itself increasingly apparent in ongoing innovative endeavors.

Book preview

SOCIAL DISTANCING

The Introvert’s Dream

(Or so I Thought)

© 2020 by Joe Noland

Published by Hope Productions, Inc,

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews, without prior written permission of the publisher.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure the accuracy and completeness of information contained in this book, we assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any inconsistency herein.

All Scripture references are from The Message or New International Version unless otherwise indicated.

For Information: Hope Productions

[e-mail]

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN Paperback: 978-0-9755505-9-5

Editor: Dick Hagerty

Cover and Interior Design: Creative Publishing Book Design

To Introverts Everywhere

For bringing balance into an otherwise

chaotic and cacophonous world

We have two ears and one mouth,

and we should use them proportionally.

—Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts

in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

Contents

SECTION ONE

Living Quietly on the Edge

(Captivated)

Intro: Captivated

DAY 1: Why Me. Lord?

DAY 5: It’s Unnatural, Lord

DAY 9: Turn Me On, Lord

DAY 13: Soap and Water is Divine

DAY 17: Pooping Aside…

DAY 21: Ration the TP

DAY 25: Action-Packed!

DAY 29: Eye of the Beholder

DAY 33: Goin’ Freestyle

DAY 37: Escaping Reality

DAY 41: Fast and Faceless

DAY 45: God-Breathed

DAY 49: Same-o, Same-o

DAY 53: By Hook or By Crook

DAY 57: The One That Matters

DAY 61: Wake Up!

DAY 65: Our Creative Best

DAY 69: A Compassion Fit

DAY 73: I Can’t Breathe!

DAY 77: The Golden Rule

DAY ??: Whatever Version!

BONUS SECTION

Leading Quietly on the Edge

(Activated)

Intro: High Five!

ACT 1: Don’t bark, wag. (Compassion)

ACT 2: Think loudly, lead gently. (Vision)

ACT 3: Choose your sidekick wisely. (Balance)

ACT 4: Feel fiercely, step softly. (Passion)

ACT 5: No risk, no glory! (Risk-taking)

Conclusion: Symbiosis

SECTION ONE

Living Quietly

On the Edge

(Captivated)

INTRODUCTION

Captivated

•noun : a feeling of great liking for something wonderful and unusual

•noun : the state of being intensely interested (as by awe or terror)

•origin: early 16 th century: from late Latin captivat- ‘taken captive’, from the verb captivare, from captivus.

Eight decades on this planet and I have been captivated (held captive) by many things, going back to WW2. The terror of those nightly blackouts, sirens, and searchlights is still vividly imprinted upon my psyche. I reference this in the pages to follow.

Following the war, when entering into my teen years, another terror gripped the nation, likewise scary and captivating. It was a foretaste of more to come.

In the 1950s, the polio virus terrified American families. Parents tried social distancing—ineffectively and out of fear.

Fearful of the spread of the contagious virus, the city (San Antonio) closed pools, swimming holes, movie theaters, schools and churches, forcing priests to reach out to their congregations on local radio. Some motorists who had to stop for gas in San Angelo would not fill up their deflated tires, afraid they’d bring home air containing the infectious virus. And one of the town’s best physicians diagnosed his patients based on his clinical impression rather than taking the chance of getting infected during the administration of the proper diagnostic test, writes Gareth Williams, Paralyzed with Fear: The Story of Polio. The scene repeated itself across the nation… (History.com)

As a young boy, somewhere amid these two terrors, another captivation occurred. This one registering on the awe side of the scale—a feeling of great liking for something wonderful and unusual. I was captivated by The Salvation Army, which was to become my sanctuary of hope during these and a host of other terror crises to come. This awe-ness translated into a peace that transcends all understanding, captivating this young, shy, introverted boy’s heart.

And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours]. (Philippians 4:7 AMP)

This here-to-fore journey is detailed in my spontaneous autobiography, The ERAS of His Way: An Odyssey of Grit and Grace (available: www.bit.ly/JN-books). The final chapters are yet to be written. This work represents one of them, a continuation of the odyssey. It takes the term captivation into a whole other realm, unprecedented in modern time.

Please read with this caveat in mind: The journey without the awe can be terrifying. We’ve sprinkled in the awe portion liberally to illustrate and affirm this critical balance— standing guard over heart, soul, and mind.

One word of caution...

If you’re an introvert or a little bit quirky

Read on.

If you’re an extrovert or a little bit perky

Dare on!

DAY 1

Why me, Lord?

When our Governor announced today that Tough social distancing measures to stamp out the coronavirus spread may need to last two or three months in California, my Hee-Hah! response, along with a spastic rendition of the jig, caused my better half to do a wide-eyed doubletake.

To understand this, you must know that I am not just your run-of-the-mill introvert—not cut-and-dried, nor even the garden variety kind. No! HARDCORE would be the descriptive adjective. Or dyed-in-the-wool, to use another old chestnut cliché. I’m such an introvert that I even shy away from Alexa when at home. Have I made myself perfectly clear here?

Moving on. Only introverts (about 25-40 percent of you reading this) will understand what I’m about to say:

Solitude is my fortitude.

Reclusion is my infusion.

Seclusion is my transfusion.

I can now add a fourth life-maxim to this revivifying list:

Social distancing is my antisocial quickening.

And no, this isn’t being written by an eremitic Monk cloistered in some far-off monastery. Quite the opposite, proving that God does have a sense of humor.

That’s right! He called me, of all people, into The Salvation Army. Stereotypical thinking aside, we are not a uniformed band of cloistered saints huddled in some far-off bowery mission quietly giving alms to the poor. If you’re thinking that way… WRONG!

Historically, The Salvation Army is an extrovert’s paradise. Loud, boisterous, eccentric, demonstrative, right up in your face with the Gospel, its founder proclaiming…

I am not waiting for a move of God; I am a move of God! If I thought I could win one more soul to the Lord by walking on my head and playing the tambourine with my toes, I’d learn how!

Me, arising out of a coffin to deliver the keynote at a youth retreat. Hilarious!

Me, producing and directing an event with a lion bursting through a split-screen onto the stage. Laughable!

Me, standing on the Condor Club stage in North Beach, San Francisco, reciting Spirit-filled poetry while surrounded by topless dancers. Chucklesome!

Me, banging on a tambourine alongside a Salvation Army uniformed chimpanzee to win one more soul to the Lord. Sidesplitting!

Me, preaching on more street corners than I can remember, verbal mockery along with tomatoes and rotten eggs thrown occasionally. Frightening!

Why me, Lord?

When I could’ve been sheltering in place, praying 24/7, within that secluded convent, quietly and anonymously winning the world for Jesus.

Why me, Lord?

When I could’ve been cocooned within my assigned convent cell practicing Lectio Divina without distraction.

Why me, Lord?

When I could’ve been performing those chores assigned to me, solitarily, as a form of worship and servitude.

Oh yes, you do have a sense of humor, Lord. A real practical joker you are. And I say that