Swimming Against The Tide

By Dorothy May Davis

Swimming Against The Tide is a compelling true story which is a  powerful expose of Mental Health Care and its many shortcomings in our society today.  In her unique position of   both  psychiatric nurse and parent of someone who has a mental health problem,  the author addresses many issues pertaining to mental health, including stigma, shame, discrimination, labelling and powerlessness.

Part one  takes us on a journey through the author`s  deprived childhood, which  helps her to empathise with others, in particular those with mental health problems  who also face discrimination almost every day of their lives.

Part two takes us on a journey through the mental health system, when the author`s son is admitted to the same psychiatric hospital in which she works. Since she poses a threat, due to her experience of both sides of the uniform as nurse and parent, those with power over her son seek to silence her voice. 

Swimming against the Tide is a powerful and important book which illustrates that Mental Health Care Provision in our country is unfit for purpose. Since any one of us can suffer from a Mental Health Problem during the course of our lives, it is in all of our interest to try to Change The Course Of the Tide in Mental Health Care.      

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dorothy May Davis
• Release date: Jan 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393987864

Book preview

PART ONE

Chapter 1

THE INTERVIEW

Ann was pleased when she was finally promoted to senior staff nurse. Even although she`d  got top marks in all her nursing exams, since qualifying, she had avoided interviews like the plague.  Her friend Tim, who had  just scraped by and had frequent  resits, told her he loved interviews because  they gave him the opportunity to talk about himself. Ann was amazed at how Tim`s self confidence had led to him speeding up the ladder to Charge nurse in just a couple of years and here was she, still a junior staff nurse.

It was only when her charge nurse Evelyn and Edith, her Nurse Manager had twisted her arm that Ann finally plucked up the courage to go for  promotion. Edith had been on the ward discussing equipment that needed replaced with  Evelyn, and when they were  in the dormitories Edith noticed  that each patient had a  profile above their bedside locker. The profiles had  the patient`s name beautifully written out under a recent photograph of them. Below the patient`s photo was a short resume of their life and also what their current likes and dislikes were. Where did these come from, Edith asked Evelyn as she was reading  about Isa, one of the patients who had been in ward 16 for over five years. I had no idea that  Isa had worked as a Secretary at the Scottish Office or that she  had two daughters who live in Edinburgh.  Ann created these Edith answered and she did most of them in her own time too. Edith continued reading some of the other profiles before finishing writing the equipment list for new hoists and other such aids, whilst being mindful of the hospital`s budget.

When she was back on the ward after her days off, Ann noticed Evelyn periodically  smiling over  at her somewhat conspicuously during the handover. To say that this made Ann feel a little bit uncomfortable was an understatement.  Evelyn`s over zealous smiles at Ann,  which in reality looked more like grimaces,  were in total contrast to the fixed austere  look  Evelyn had trained herself to wear,  in attempt to command unquestioning authority. As soon as the senior nurse from the morning shift had finished passing on  relevant  information about the patients on the ward, interrupted by Evelyn`s intermittent interjections,  Ann was asked by Evelyn to remain behind while the rest of the nursing team left the room. Since Ann had absolutely no idea of what was coming, she was by now feeling quite sick as she ran through her mind  what  she  could  have  possibly  done  to make Evelyn behave so out of character and want to speak to her alone. Evelyn finally put Ann out of her misery as she excitedly told her that when  Edith had been on the ward the previous evening she`d noticed her  patient profiles. Edith had been extremely impressed, and along with Evelyn,  wondered why Ann had never bothered to apply for promotion. Since  a senior staff nurse vacancy was coming up they both wanted Ann  to apply for the post. Interviews would be held next week, Evelyn told Ann,  as she thrust an application form into her hand.

This news was bitter sweet for Ann. She so wanted promotion to enable her to have more say in what happened to the elderly patients on the ward, and the  extra money would also come in handy, especially with her son Ian always needing extra things, as teenagers always do. However, the very word interview compounded the sick feeling Anne already had so that by now she felt a full blown migraine coming on. That`s absolutely wonderful Evelyn, Ann said when she`d finally composed herself. Do you  know who will be doing the inter..interviews?  Ann  stammered out.  It`ll  most likely be Edith, Evelyn replied so you`ve got  absolutely nothing to worry about since you`re  flavour of the month at the moment, but mind,  that can change, Evelyn  added.

After taking a Sumatriptan tablet  from her make up bag to keep the ensuing migraine at bay, Ann tried as best as she could to focus on the care needs of her elderly patients for the rest of her shift.  As she helped  her patients in  to bed as the evening drew to a close Ann caught sight of the profiles she had created and thought,  Are they really so impressive? Surely we all deserve to be viewed as valued individuals irrespective of our age or anything else? Ann had created the profiles to encourage staff to see the elderly patients as people who had lived a meaningful life, and made a contribution to society. Even although many of her frail elderly patients had varying degrees of dementia, so far as Ann was concerned, they deserved to be treated as valued human beings, just as any of us would want for ourselves when we get older.

Ann was often frustrated by her lack of  self confidence, which didn`t match the natural intelligence often  assigned to her  by others.  When she`d been at  primary school, she used to get top marks for spelling and reading, and  sometimes writing too.  This had caused her teacher Miss Burnett  to be furious. Ann Brown. Nine out of ten, she would shout angrily, as  she threw Ann`s  jotter so hard that the loud THUD it made when it hit the desk  resonated in Ann`s ears for what seemed like an eternity. Lynn  Brady. Eight out of ten, Ms Burnett  had said in a sugary  tone, adding, I know you`ll do better next time Lynn.  Miss Burnett  might as well  have come right out and  said how dare a free school dinner brat from a council estate get higher marks than one of my pupils from the posh area!  Even years later, when Ann drew on what she had learned from studying psychology at university in addition to  her psychiatric nurse training, she still couldn`t fathom out Ms Burnett and  why it was that she had so despised her pupils from the poor areas.

The night before her interview, Ann went through her wardrobe with a fine tooth comb to make sure she picked out her best clothes. She really liked the  dress she`d bought from Topshop just a few weeks before, but then thought  what if Edith dislikes the Aztec pattern?  Ann recollected reading an article in a magazine when she`d been in  the dentist`s waiting room. The article had immediately caught her attention because of it`s headline, ` Succeeding at  Interviews`.  Anne remembered the  section on  what you definitely should not  wear to interviews. Bold patterns and flowers were to be avoided at all cost, as if they weren`t  to the interviewer`s taste they could lose you your dream  job.  Ann`s Aztec  dress was immediately relegated to the back of her wardrobe and outfits previously considered boring now seemed  much more appealing. Ann  pulled out a plain green dress, not too short and very well tailored, she thought. Just then, to her horror she noticed that the dress had bobbled just under the armpits making it look  decidedly old and shabby.

Ann momentarily flashed  back to her upbringing, never fitting in with the kids in the poor scheme where she lived and never being accepted by  the kids in the well to do  areas, whose clothes she always envied. Their shoes seemed so shiny and their dresses looked so pretty compared to Ann`s  ill fitting hand me downs. Even when Ann had tried to put on a posh accent, when they found out where she stayed, her friends were told not to play with her. Ann remembered one of her  best friends called Irene  at primary school whose parents had let her stay over night a couple of times, that is until Irene`s dad drove her home  one  rainy night after his shift as a policeman. Afterwards, whenever Ann waved at Irene or tried to attract her attention at school,  she would turn away as though Ann didn`t exist. Relieved that she had noticed the bobbles under the armpits of the dress that may have caused Edith to reject her, Ann immediately put the green dress in the bin. Ann went back to her wardrobe and after rummaging through it for what seemed like hours,  finally made a break through.  Not her favourite item to wear, admittedly,  but neutral and safe as recommended in the  article on interviews in the magazine.

Cracked it, Ann said out loud, as she gave her dark brown trousers and beige jumper the twice over  to make absolutely sure there was not a bobble or any other blemish in sight, that could risk her being rejected by Edith. Ann decided to try the outfit on just to be doubly sure that it was suitable for the interview, and was pleased that her tan leather boots went well.  Ann was confident that her ensemble at the very least wouldn`t cause offence at the interview, and felt sure  that the author of  the  `Succeeding at Interviews` article would  approve!

The next morning Ann`s  partner Pete assured her she  looked spot on,  before he left for his job as a photographer, clad in his bike helmet and leathers under which he wore a t  shirt  and jeans. How lucky he is  to be able to wear exactly what he wants to work, thought Ann, as she fastened the buttons on her black jacket. Although my jacket doesn`t  match the rest of my outfit,  I`ll stuff it in my bag before I go in for the interview, and that way Edith won`t see it, Ann told herself. 

Relieved that her bus had got her to the  hospital with time to spare,  Ann went to the area where the interviews were being held.  Thank you so much she said politely as Edith`s personal assistant pointed to a chair in the corridor immediately outside the office which had `interviews` marked on the door.  Ann looked nervously at her watch. It was 11.20 am,  she  would have been helping her patients to go to the toilet just now.  How Ann wished she was on the ward, anywhere infact, rather than sitting outside Edith`s room waiting  to be executed.....interviewed....rather.  Just then, Ann  realised that she still had her  mismatched black jacket on and hurriedly took it off  before folding it neatly on top of her tan leather bag.

A couple of minutes later  at precisely 11.30 am,  the office door flew  open as Edith came out in to the corridor to invite Ann in for her interview.  As she went in,  Ann  noticed  that  the  office wasn`t  nearly as big as she had anticipated, and nor was it as intimidating as she`d imagined it would be.  Although  they had  acknowledged each other when passing in the corridor on previous occasions, after closing the office door, Edith insisted on shaking Ann`s hand.  Despite trying  her best to look calm and confident, Ann wondered if Edith had noticed that her hand was perspiring, and was relieved when she finally let it go  before asking her to sit down.  This is wonderful Edith said as she took out one the patient profiles.  It transpired that the interview Ann had been