Flipping The Switch: How to Redefine Success to Find True Fulfillment

By Ben Fagan

In life, success is not what we're after. What we're really going after is a sense of fulfillment. We want to be happy with the lives we have made for ourselves. We want to feel fulfilled as husbands and wives, sons and daughters. We want to feel accomplished in our careers. We want to feel that what we are doing in this world is making a difference. We want to feel like we matter. In Flipping the Switch: How to Redefine Success to Find True Fulfillment, former college athlete Ben Fagan recounts the lessons he learned through playing college baseball. While these lessons were forged in sport, they have application to life that goes far beyond the game. Fagan believes that everything needed to succeed is already inside us; it is just a matter of flipping the switch and redefining success.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781716543074

Book preview

Flipping the Switch:

How to Redefine Success to Find True Fulfillment

Copyright © 2020 by S Ben Fagan

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, May 2020

Cover design by S Ben Fagan

ISBN 9 781716 543074

www.sbenfagan.com

To Old Man & Lady,

thank you for everything.

To my big brother Jake,

Ha. I wrote a book before you.

I Love you all.

INTRODUCTION

There is this strange phenomenon that accompanies us when we set out on a journey that appears to be ambitious. The frequency of this phenomenon increases, especially when this pursuit is deemed too ambitious.  So often in society, when we are pursuing our goals, whatever they may be, we are met with an onslaught of what ifs:  What if I don’t make it?  What if it doesn’t work out?  What if I mess up?  Rarely are the what if’s, colored with any shade of successful outcomes.  These doubt-filled alternate scenarios can come from anywhere---parents, friends, teachers, coaches, mentors, adversaries, and, far too often, ourselves.  We are all guilty of enabling the negative side of this phenomenon.  I know there have been countless moments where I fell victim to the what if game, even if for a brief moment.  But that is okay, just as long as those moments remain brief when they appear, and are quickly replaced with refocusing on the task at hand.

I think we can all agree that pursuing our goals and ambitions takes a great deal of time and energy.  I think we can also agree that spending our precious moments on anything that detracts from these goals is a waste of time.  So why, if we know these to be true, do we still hesitate to go all in on our goals.  We strap a harness on ourselves in the form of backup plans to ensure we don’t fall should our original goals not come to fruition.  While we may feel safe, the problem with harnesses is that they are attached to a fixed position, only allowing us to climb so high or stretch so far.  It is actually upon release of the harness that we truly are able to set out to accomplish our goals.  There is comfort in this. This feeling of support does not come because we are experiencing no risk.  The feeling of comfort comes because we are pursuing what genuinely brings us joy.  When we go all in on our goals by eliminating backup plans, we can find peace knowing that if we don’t reach what we set out to accomplish, it was not because we didn’t try.

Growing up, I was extremely fortunate to live in a loving and supportive household.  My upbringing is something that I am incredibly grateful for.  My parents exposed me to a foundation of different life philosophies that allowed me to build my own path and go after my own dreams.  I didn’t have any big dreams really; I just wanted to be a Hall of Fame Major League Baseball player---you know, run-of-the-mill stuff.  All jokes aside, playing in the Major Leagues is a monumental goal, and I always knew that.  I had no time or energy for anything that could take away from that goal. I think that because the probability of my reaching the MLB was so low, I was intrigued even more.  I loved the challenge.  

As a baseball player, I felt that I was talented.  But my ability to play the game was built largely on my desire to get better.  It was this attitude that allowed me to get as far as I got in my baseball career.  I always figured that, if nothing else, I could always control how hard I worked.  I knew that if I were going to make it to the Big Leagues I would have to go all in.  I had no backup plan.  This approach to my goals was actually encouraged by my parents.  They wanted to be sure I got an education, but they would want that for me regardless of what I wanted to do in life.  My mom always tells my brother and me that no one can take away our education.  She is right.  Valuing education is very important, but our education never represented a backup plan to us.  Instead it was a tool to aid us on our journey to reach our goals.

While my parents encouraged me not to have a Plan B should I not make it to the Major Leagues, they did make it a point that I develop other interests outside of baseball.  They made sure that my brother and I were well-rounded people.  Growing up, we were both in Boy Scouts. I enjoyed cooking, skateboarding, and taking photos. More recently, I have developed a strong passion for videography.  All of these activities are so different from baseball and its pursuit.  That they have greatly benefited me in my life is a large reason why I am writing this book.  I never had a Plan B, but I did develop multiple passions.  As I got older, especially when I got to college, I began to use my different passions as tools to allow me to become a better baseball player.  For a long time, though, I believed that these other interests would take away from my ability to make it.  Since I felt that I could always control how hard I worked, my approach to the game would sometimes become obsessive. I was set on going all in. I had no Plan B. I was controlling everything I could control...or so I thought. 

Like education, and like having multiple passions, I want this book to be a tool for you. I have used the lessons I learned from baseball to redefine what success means to me in order to find true fulfillment in what I do. You will find that many of these ideas stem from thoughts we already have, but with a simple flip in perspective they can catapult us to new heights, unharnessed heights. I want this book to aid you on your journey in pursuit of your goals. 

CHAPTER 1-My Greatest At-Bat

As with so many young boys from the moment they get introduced to the game and pick up a bat, playing Major League Baseball has always been my biggest dream. I remember so vividly when I fell in love with the game and knew that playing ball was what I wanted to do. I used to go to my older brother Jake’s Little League games. Jake is four years older than me, and when I went to his games, I would sit in the grass down the left-field fence line and play with my little Tonka Toy truck. For each of his games I would dress up in baseball pants and cowboy boots because that, of course, is what real ball players wear. I remember watching him and thinking that he was the best player out there. He was at shortstop so he was the star in my mind. Looking back on it, he was at shortstop probably because his best friend’s dad was the head coach. My brother hung up his cleats after one day of middle school baseball tryouts. That was the end of his career. But for me, watching him play, I became enamored with the game. And then, when I found out you can get paid to play this game, well, I was sold. Baseball became all I wanted to do. Although Jake’s baseball career was short-lived, he was someone to look up to in the game, and that gave me a way to connect with the sport. I suppose I have to thank him for that, so thank you, big bro.  

As I grew up I dreamed about playing college baseball as well.  I remember one day my family and I went to a bookstore. After reading through a book, my mom who always encourages what my brother and I want to do, came up to me and said, Ben, you know only 2% of high school players ever make it to play in college, right? My brother and I were both in Boy Scouts and it was not up for discussion to become anything short of Eagle Scout, scouting’s highest rank. So, I looked at my mom dead in the eyes and said I’m going to become an Eagle Scout and those odds are lower; so I'm going to be playing college baseball. She tells me that that moment put her in her place, and it is still one of her favorite stories. 

Fast forward a few years. I get my Eagle Scout and I’m also playing college baseball. I make my home at Lynn University, a Division II school in Boca Raton, FL.  From the time that I was a freshman, I was embraced largely by my teammates because of my hard work and the way I played the game. This style was largely driven by my desire to play Major League Baseball. I was never the most talented or highly recruited guy out there, but if there was one thing that I could control it was my work ethic and how I went about playing the game. Throughout my tenure on the team, I definitely had to pay my dues. I didn’t play as much as I had wanted and I had experienced some incredibly frustrating times as my baseball career was unfolding not exactly