The Invisible Hand

By Tom Akers

18 million children go to school every day, one out of every eighteen bring a gun with them. This could be one of those stories. Josh is a senior in high school living in a home with an alcoholic father and an abused mother. After what he thought was a meaningless act of kindness he sees his life torn apart when he is falsely accused of bringing a gun to school. His family, friends, and teammates all abandon him as he's forced to face this nightmare alone. Josh is forced to try to rebuild his life after losing everything he has. Along the way, he meets Tony, a youth pastor who tries to show Josh the love of a God he doesn't know, Mr. Brown, the alternative school teacher who pours his heart into wanting to help his students, and Ally, a single mother trying to get her diploma to make a better life for herself and her son. Just when Josh thinks he has his life back he is brought face to face with the person responsible for all of his suffering. Josh is left trying to decide if he should take revenge on the person or can he find forgiveness?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tom Akers
• Release date: Jan 11, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005392048

Tom Akers

Tom Akers has been involved in youth ministry for fifteen years as a volunteer, an invisible hand. He lives in Cambridge, Illinois and is married to his wife Kelly and has four children Tristan, Hannah, Olivia, and Evan along with his cat Crystal and his dog Socks. Tom has worked in public education for over thirty years currently as a superintendent of schools. He is a volunteer firefighter and works on the ambulance service. Tom has written over a dozen plays with three of them published.

Book preview

Chapter One

Josh’s footsteps echoed up the dimly lit stairwell as he slowly walked up the final flight of stairs to his apartment on the third floor. The old brick building which had once been a department store in the 1930s had stood vacant for thirty years until it was bought and converted into three apartments in the 1970s when the neighborhood had undergone an attempt at a return to life. Bars and restaurants had appeared and for fifteen years it had seemed to be on the way back to what it had been but it couldn’t compete with the growing shopping mall and all of the new stores on the edge of town. It had survived for a decade before becoming the victim of progress and reverting back to another vacant neighborhood full of abandoned stores and bars full of people who remembered but wanted to forget the past and what could have been.

Josh drew in a long breath as if trying to will himself up the stairwell after a long shift. He paused as he climbed the last flight of stairs to his apartment. The despair of his station in life, combined with the lack of an elevator, peeling paint on the walls, and smell of urine he had to step through on the landing reminded him of how cheap a place he could afford to live on with the amount of money he was making a month.

Josh pulled his keyring out of the front pocket of his jeans, He jingled the three keys in his hand, one to his car, one to the front of the broken lock to the front of the building, and the one to the apartment. He stuck the key into the lock and turned the deadbolt. The door creaked as he turned the doorknob and stepped inside. It took him a second to adjust to the sunlight through the windows. The light bulbs in the stairs were always out and the light in his apartment always blinded him when he walked in the door. He looked around the apartment with a cautious eye, two months ago it had been broken into while he was at work, a product of the front lock being broken. The thieves hadn’t taken much.

Hard to steal something from nothing, isn’t it kid? The cop had said looking around the barren apartment as he filled out the report.

Yeah, but they wrecked the place. Josh had responded to the police officer, he pointed to the door. The landlord’s going to be mad about this.

What? the break-in? the cop had asked looking around the room.

No replacing the deadbolt on the door, he doesn’t like to put too much money into the place, probably will raise my rent because of it.

The cop looked at him shaking his head, maybe if he does raise your rent you can get him to fix that front door lock.

Josh had managed to fix the place back up after the robbery, all of it had come as second-hand furniture and things donated from his friends at the church. Still, he had a weird feeling now every time he entered the apartment.

Josh went to the refrigerator, opened the door, and looked inside. The refrigerator was empty except for part of a sandwich from the sub shop next to where he worked, some lunchmeat, a carton of milk, and some cans of generic soda. He grabbed a can of grape soda and sat down in a chair next to the small table where his kitchen met the living room.

He reached down and unlaced the work boots he wore on the loading docks at the warehouse downtown. He’d had this job for the past three years and was finally on the second shift. He’d spent two years on the third shift loading and packing the trucks for the morning drivers, eight hours a night six days a week. Finally, he’d gotten the chance to switch to a second shift this past year and he jumped at it, thinking that he might be able to get farther toward his degree at the community college in town. He'd been taking two or three classes a semester and while it was taking him a long time to do it, he was making progress and was scheduled to graduate in December.

Josh picked up the pile of mail he’d thrown on the table when he walked into the apartment. Two credit card offers, his electric bill, and a Publisher’s Clearinghouse offer were quickly tossed back onto the table and then he was left with a letter-sized envelope. Josh examined it a little closer. His address was handwritten, he tried to think to himself about the last time he had received a personal letter from someone and he couldn’t remember, no wait when he was in fifth grade they’d had a pen pals program, something his teacher had devised with a school in Maine.

Josh slowly tore the top of the letter open and examined the contents, three pages of a typed letter had been neatly tri-folded and then folded again to fit into the envelope. Josh took the paper out of the envelope and opened it.

Dear Josh,

You don’t know me, or at best will never be able to remember me, but we went to high school together. I remember you very well Josh. This is a very hard letter for me to write to you but for the last three years, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. I think about you every day and about what happened; what I did to you. You see Josh, I am the reason you are who you are today and I hate myself more and more each day because of it. I’m the one who took everything you ever had away that day at school and I have finally gotten up the courage to tell you the truth and I hope it explains some things about why things have worked out the way they did and how sorry I am I did this to you.

Josh slowly set the letter and reexamined the envelope again, looking for anything that could provide a clue as to the identity of the letter’s author but the stamp and his address just stared back at him vacantly not offering any hint as to the owner. Josh shook his head and looked around the room he knew he was alone but he suddenly felt someone else’s presence in the room, a chill went down his neck as if someone were looking over his shoulder. Reassured he was alone he picked up the letter again and reread it slower this time pouring over every word. It was then he noticed just how badly his hands were shaking.

Josh took a drink from his soda struggling to swallow the cool liquid as he turned his attention again to the letter in his hand. He finished the letter and stood up. He paced around the apartment like a caged animal trying to escape but the letter followed his every movement, beckoning him to read it again, to go back in time, back before he was stuck in the world he was in, back before he'd become the man he is today, back to the day that changed his life forever.

Chapter two

Three years ago

Mile one, the chill in the early fall air had done its job of waking him up as he stepped off the porch of his family’s small split level style house. Josh had only thrown on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt since it was still September, but the chill in the air almost made him think about turning back around and grabbing his windbreaker. Josh had jumped off of the porch and was in his stride by the time he had reached the end of his block.

Never mind, I’ll just run and keep warm that way, he thought to himself, besides, he didn’t want to wake up his mom so early in the morning.

He had started running in the morning of his sophomore year after his coach had put him on the varsity cross country team for a meet and he had placed in the top seven on his team and had helped them win their meet.

Josh thought back to that year, they’d done pretty well and had qualified for the sectional meet but he and another guy on the squad had committed to trying to be the first team on East High School to win the State Meet, and to do that he knew he would have to work harder, so he started running in the morning and in the afternoon at practice.

Mile two, Josh had replayed the previous night’s meet in his head; the team had placed second against the other nine teams that had been at the meet. Josh had been the second runner for East High behind his friend Keagan by only seven seconds; however, he had beaten his personal best by ten seconds. He knew his dad would ask him how he did last night and when he told him he’d come in second place behind Keagan he’d get that look of disappointment on his face. He’d never say anything because he really didn’t care but Josh knew his dad liked to get him upset and remind him he is second best to his older brother Jesse.

Jesse had been the star at East High School and his father never failed to remind Josh of this. Jesse was an all-area first-team football player and had taken his high school team to the quarterfinals one year and the State Championship the next. He had been recruited by a number of schools and was playing football in college for a small division one college football team. His father had spent countless hours with Jesse in the backyard, coaching, and working out with him. His father had tried to get Josh into football but when he shied away from the sport his father had pretty much shut him out. When Josh announced he was going to run cross country in high school his father left the room. It wasn’t easy for Jesse, Josh knew that his father pushed him very hard and he heard his father’s comments after the game that hurt his brother. Jesse had gotten out of the house and at least he had gotten his father’s attention throughout his high school years. He still did get his father’s attention, his father had no problem staying up on Saturday mornings to drive long distances to watch Jesse play in a college football game while Josh was running in cross country invitational meets just thirty minutes away.

Mile three, he knew he should be taking it easier than he was but when he thought of his father he naturally picked up his pace. He laughed to himself, his father would die knowing that he was the driving force behind his son being a successful runner. Josh caught himself laughing out loud thinking about it. He rounded the corner of his street and caught himself, his dad’s truck was already sitting in the driveway, his father worked the third shift as a warehouse manager. Loading trucks all night and then came home in the morning. It had worked very well while Jesse was in sports, he wouldn’t miss any of Jesse’s games because they would be over by eleven o’clock at night. Josh liked it because he hardly ever saw his father and when he did it was a very quick conversation and then the two went separate ways.

Josh opened the door of the house hoping to sneak to his room.

Josh, is that you? His mother called out to him from the kitchen just before he headed to the upstairs of the split level they lived in, if he’d only gotten up the stairs he could pretend he didn’t hear her.

Yes mom, he replied, stopping on the stairs, hoping that was the end of the conversation. His mom appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. She stood holding a spatula.

How did you do last night? She asked him, he could hear her genuine interest in how he had done. The family had split between Jesse and his father and Josh and his mother. She had thought it was great when he decided to be a runner. She had always worried Jessie would get hurt and her only comment about Josh being on the cross country team was; they don’t hit each other do they?

We took second place behind West High again. He replied wiping his sweat on his t-shirt sleeve. I got a PR though by ten seconds! Josh noticed his mother’s confused look on her face. Personal Record mom, I ran my fastest time yesterday.

That’s fantastic Josh. How far did you go this morning? she asked,

Just three miles, Josh replied, smiling at her. She had already dressed for the day wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She was the shortest in the family and was self-conscious about her weight so she wore her shirt out to cover her waistline. She looked up at him with her lips twisted in concern. He knew she would say something about his running this morning.

Three miles? After setting your own record, Josh I don’t know if you are incredible or crazy. She smiled at him. Even though she didn’t understand anything about running Josh truly appreciated her interest in what he was doing.

I vote for crazy, his dad said appearing in the entryway of the kitchen behind his mother. He was leaning against the door with a beer in his hand.

Startled Josh replied. Morning Dad. Every morning when his dad came home from work he had about three beers and a couple of drinks of whiskey before he went to bed. It amazed Josh that anyone could drink in the morning but to his father it was evening.

Josh had learned in freshman health class what his father was. It was a shock at first as the teacher shared the definition of alcoholism with the class and that, the moment of recognition when Josh took what he had learned and applied it to his daily life. He couldn't remember the last morning his father didn’t have them. Josh found it best to avoid getting into an argument with his father after he’d started his daily drinking.

How’d you do at your race, his dad smirked uh meet? he asked.

Josh refused to take the bait his father was throwing out at him. the team took second place overall and I improved my time. Best to keep it simple Josh thought.

Isn’t that great Scott? his mother added.

Josh’s dad took a sip of his beer and nodded. Yeah, great job, who does the football team have this week?

West Josh mumbled as he turned to go up the stairs, his dad and he typically ignored each other in the morning. Josh had become very skilled at sneaking into the house after his run then buzzing through the kitchen, grabbing something to eat, and heading out the door all with barely a good morning to his father. He could hear his parents arguing but left the discussion for the sanctuary of his room.

Scott turned to go back into the kitchen, pulled out his chair at the table, and sat down taking a drink of his beer before unlacing his work boots. He rubbed his knees, a product of twenty-five years of working on concrete, being thirty pounds overweight, and playing football. He'd been a pretty good athlete at East High himself, nothing like Jesse but he'd done his share of hitting people in his day.

Jenn brushed past him nudging him just enough he had to balance his can. Really? she turned as she got past him.

What? Scott replied sarcastically unscrewing the lid to the half-empty pint of whiskey he had picked up at the convenience store next to the warehouse. He knew he had successfully pushed both Josh’s and Jenn’s button, it had become his entertainment every morning since Jesse had moved back to college.

Couldn’t you show just a little interest in Josh? You know you have two sons? Jenn stared at him.

Scott sat down in his chair, Thanks for letting me know Jenn. Don’t you think I know Josh isn’t Jesse? Scott took a drink of his beer to wash the whiskey down. I mean Jesse was all area and second team all-state as a linebacker. And now he’s on scholarship in college. Don’t I have a right to be proud of him?

Scott had coached Jesse all the way through to his junior high years. He’d coached Josh as well but seeing that Josh shied away from the contact, Scott quickly lost interest in him. He’d worked out with Jesse and they had been inseparable on the weekends watching football on television.

Jenn set a plate of eggs, pancakes, and bacon in front of him, the plate clanged on the table as she set it down. Scott took another drink of his beer and smiled at her. Jenn sat down at the table across from him with weariness in her eyes despite it only being the morning. The mornings Scott was like this she knew would not end well for Josh, After 22 years of marriage, she had grown used to him.

Scott had found the job in the warehouse right after Jesse had been born. He’d worked long hours six days a week and became a supervisor at the warehouse right after Jesse had started school.

He’d taken the third shift job so he could coach Jesse in the afternoons and eventually cheer him at his games. However with this promotion and the new hours Scott began to drink more, just one or two in the mornings to wind down so he could sleep through the day. That morphed into six or seven on the weekends and a change in the way her husband behaved. Jenn had brought the subject of Scott’s drinking once or twice but the argument which ensued left the topic mute in the household. Jenn had gone to the library and read a lot of articles on alcoholism and had concluded that she was married to a functional alcoholic who provided for his family but was an addict.

She now stared across at the man she once loved, the man who had been a good father to her sons and a provider for her family. Jenn knew she didn’t have many skills and had reconciled herself to being trapped, a prisoner in this house. She smiled though in knowing she still had Josh for another year to share her sentence with and then he would be free.

We have every right to be proud of both of our boys Jenn leaned forward so she could keep her voice down. Listen all I’m asking is a little interest in him, this is his senior year, he’s been living in Jesse’s shadow for three years Scott and now it’s just him, can’t you just recognize that? Go to a meet? At least act interested in what he does for a change? Jenn stood up and turned back to the stove to get Josh’s breakfast.

Scott smiled, his entertainment for this morning was almost complete. They're on Saturdays and so are Jesse’s games in college. I don’t get a lot of time free from work so I like to enjoy my time off. I’m sorry if I just don’t have any interest in watching them run in circles. He picked up his fork and cut the pancakes into pieces.

We run on courses, Josh said quietly from the doorway of the kitchen holding his book bag over his shoulder and listening to the conversation between his two parents.

Scott turned with a confused look on his face. What?

We run on courses, track runs in circles, we run on trails and golf courses. Josh entered the kitchen and walked past his father.

Uh, okay? Scott took another bite of the eggs and grabbed a piece of bacon, stood up from the table, and picked up his can of beer. Jenn, why don’t you come upstairs when Josh goes to school? He took a drink, gave her a knowing smile, and pushed his chair in. He turned to leave the kitchen. Have a nice day at school Josh.

Jenn ignored him and finished putting an egg on Josh’s plate. She turned around to set it on the table and saw Josh tying his shoes at the table.

Honey, just ignore him, please have some breakfast. She set the plate in front of him and sat down next to him at the table. Josh finished tying his shoes and looked up at her, his eyes looked deep and lifeless. Jenn recognized them because she saw them every morning when she looked in the mirror.

No thanks mom, I’m not hungry anymore, not after him. He thought about getting up from the table but then sighed, Why do you put up with that mom? Every morning he treats you like this.

She looked up for a second, met his eyes then looked away. Josh, don’t you think I’ve thought about it? You don’t understand, there’s nothing out there for me, I have a high school diploma and no skills, I don’t even know how to rent an apartment, She stared down at the now cold cup of coffee she had in front of her.

Josh turned to the table and began eating his breakfast, he knew it meant a lot to his mother to take care of him but he was so tired of his father treating him and her like this. Before, when Jesse had been here, mornings had revolved around his father either talking to Jesse about sports or bragging about Jesse and both he and his mother had been ignored.

Mom, I just get so mad at the way he treats you, I can handle the fact he ignores me, he has since I stopped going out for football, but mom come on, the way he talks to you and his drinking, you deserve more than him. I’ll be out of here in a year but he saw the single teardrop fall down her cheek. Mom I’m sorry.

Jenn looked up at him and wiped the teardrop away. Don’t you think I know that Josh? In a way, I can’t wait for you to graduate and get away from here but then I sit and realize then I’ll be all alone and I wish this year could last forever but I know it can’t. She reached out and grabbed his hand and looked him in the eye.

"I hate him mom, what he’s