Pandemic Scribblings 2020

By Esther Spurrill Jones

2020 has been a century of stuff. This is how I coped: by writing about it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Esther Spurrill Jones
• Release date: Dec 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005349714

Esther Spurrill Jones

I learned to read when I was four years old, and I began writing soon thereafter. My first story was about a girl and her horse—it was awful, but my parents loved it, which encouraged me to continue. My favourite genres are of the fantastical and magical, where the mundane rules of real life don't apply.

Book preview

Introduction

2020 was not like any other year of my life. It was not like any other year any of us have ever experienced. We laughed, we cried, we raged. We went through so much. Some of us learned to knit and crochet, to bake sourdough, and to paint. I spent my time writing.

I’ve been a writer most of my life. I cannot remember a time when I didn’t put feelings down on paper in words. Poetry is my first love, though I also enjoy crafting a good short story. So when I was stuck at home for weeks in the middle of this year, I wrote.

Most of it is poetry, but I do have a few stories in here too. I hope you find as much peace in reading them as I did in creating them.

January

Like Lazarus

I was lost so deep within

Everything that I called sin—

Adrift and wandering, but then,

Jesus called to me, Come out!

The door was closed; I couldn’t see

That all I needed to be free

Was already inside of me,

But Jesus called to me, Come out!

Like Lazarus inside the grave,

I didn’t know I was a slave

Until the Saviour came to save

And Jesus called to me, Come out!

I shed religious bonds and chains,

And stubborn arbitrary claims

That who I am is to blame

When Jesus called to me, Come out!

I had locked my own prison

With fear and self-recrimination,

So it was difficult to listen

When Jesus called to me, Come out!

I found the key was in my hand

And all I had to do was stand

And walk, and know I am not damned,

For Jesus called to me, Come out!

I opened up the closet door,

And everything came sharp and clear

That I am absolutely queer

When Jesus called to me, Come out!

I understand if you still doubt

And think that I am selling out,

But I no longer can hide out

For Jesus called to me, Come out!

In the Middle

The middle is an awkward place:

Pushed and pulled from either side,

I try to carve out my own space

To love myself, to have some pride.

I like boys and I like girls

And, if that’s not enough, besides

I’m in the church and in the world.

I love myself and I have pride.

Jesus loves me, this I know;

Under His wings I will abide

No matter how they huff and blow.

I love myself and I have pride.

I am not straight nor am I gay;

I cannot choose—I don’t decide

Who to be on each new day.

I love myself and I have pride.

I’ll stand my ground; I will not break

Although my presence may divide.

Who I am is no mistake;

I love myself and I have pride.

Peace

Gentle strong defender:

Peace is in your corner.

Kind and soft and tender:

In all, peace is the winner.

Lay aside your weapons,

Cast off your shield and armour,

Stop and feel its presence,

Rest in its safe harbour.

When the soldier falls

Peace lifts up, embraces.

Rest, comfort for all

Held in arms of grace.

At the end of day

I lay me down to sleep,

And