The Ark Angel Ronald's Quest for Chaos

By Jonathan Antony Strickland

The world is in danger of becoming dull and boring. Evil has scarpered and the goody-two-shoes have taken over. Without evil all creativity will be lost. The music charts will fill up with boy-bands, and Rock and Roll will die out... This will not do!

There can be only one explanation for such an horrendous occurrence to have happened. Satan, Prince of darkness, ruler of the underworld, Lord of flies, bane to all humanity... must have gone soft! But the Ark angel Ronald has plans to change Satan back to his old evil loving self. However his quest to convince Satan will not be easy.

This is his story.

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If you have read this story, then why not leave a review of what you think of it!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jonathan Antony Strickland
• Release date: Jan 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781370380527

Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?O.K then... here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!Well for starters you can contact me on [e-mail] Hobbies:1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by... passes the time if nothing else!2_Managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive! Well... what I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with, was still inside the pig!3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he were ever to catch fire4_Scratching my arse!5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).My most famous quotes:1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees!3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.7 As far as I'm concerned you should not judge a fellow person on their looks, sex, race or beliefs. There are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites, who want to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!!! That's TURD... Got it? No? Then I'll say it again, just in case you missed it...T.U.R.DMy Arch Enemies:1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squawks and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as... Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc... but to me he will always be Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face... ARSEWIPE!)2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish... Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)3_Randy Stodgeflaps... not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only I can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing words like..."KNICKERS" or "ARSE" or some other filth! It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSEHOLES, PANTS,......Oh bugger!"PS: Does anyone actually read any of this personal information shit?

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Smashwords Edition License Notes: This is a free story, you may reproduce it as you wish, so long as you do not charge for it. Please leave any comments on the authors smashwords page.

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Some famous peoples quotes about my short story.

RON (Ark Angel)

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It`s got a plot as thick as a babies arm.

W.SHAKESPEARE

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The story should be dedicated to Jews, Christians, Roman Catholics, Buddhists, in fact any people who believe in aliens, ghosts, yetis, bare bottomed bogeymen...etc... etc... and every other bloody Bible basher or super-natural believing moron out there!!!

JOSEPH (a father, and rather good woodworker by all accounts)

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It has an intense story and an amazing plot that grips you from start to finish. Tell me, is it copyrighted?

J.Archer

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Er, it had whoa big words man. Some really really BIG WORDS! Yeah, totally cool. Tell me though dude, what was it about again?

J.Christ (though it might have just been some stoned-out-of-his-head, and half cut bloke, wandering the streets at night with half a holly bush on his head, claiming to be the big JC!)

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If they made Ron’s story into a film, it would be the second funniest take done on religion.

G.Chapman... (the biased git!)

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Actually it would be the third funniest... at best! Though personally I very much doubt this to be the case.

P.Cook... (O.K, rub it in why don’t yah!)

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Free, free!!! Well let me tell you something me lad, there's no way