Sliced and Diced 2: A Collection of 13 Dark and Twisted Short Stories

By Joan De La Haye

Immerse yourself in the sinister imagination of author Joan De La Haye as she unleashes a captivating collection of 13 dark and twisted tales in her second collection. Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride of suspense as each story explores the depths of human nature and the supernatural.

Uncover the harrowing tale of a hunter turned hunted, where the line between predator and prey becomes blurred. Witness a diabolical wedding as the Devil himself takes a bride, plunging the world into chaos. Prepare for mayhem when a malevolent typewriter wreaks havoc on unsuspecting inhabitants of an old house, its sinister secrets coming to life.

Join forces with the Devil's PR agent as they navigate a treacherous path to bring a killer to justice, their actions revealing the darkness lurking in the shadows. And dare to explore the true cost of real estate in Hell, where deals with the devil come with unimaginable consequences.

With Joan De La Haye's masterful storytelling, each tale will send shivers down your spine and keep you on the edge of your seat. These captivating narratives promise thrills and chills that will leave you breathless, but be warned: the darkness within is best confronted with the comforting glow of light. Prepare to embark on a journey that will test your courage and haunt your dreams long after you've turned the final page.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joan De La Haye
• Release date: Jan 3, 2021

Joan De La Haye

Joan De La Haye writes horror, dark fantasy and some very twisted thrillers. She invariably wakes up in the middle of the night because she's figured out yet another freaky way to mess with her already screwed-up characters. You can stalk Joan on her website: www.joandelahaye.com

Book preview

Sliced and Diced 2

A collection of 13 dark and twisted short stories

By

Joan De La Haye

This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2021 by Joan De La Haye

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise).

www.joandelahaye.com

Cover art by Joan De La Haye

1st Edition January 2021

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Joan De La Haye

Protector of the Citadel

Real Estate Hell

Breaching the Tower

Getting Rid of Charlie

The Devil’s Wedding

The Typewriter

Family Secret

The Reaper’s Rope

Eat Your Heart Out

The Hunt

The Bat In The Wall

Public Relations

Nature

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Sliced and Diced

Fury

Requiem in E Sharp

Shadows

The Race

Burning

Oasis

Also by Joan De La Haye

Stand-Alone Books:

Requiem in E Sharp

Fury

Oasis

Burning

The Diabolical Series

Shadows

The Veil

The Race Series:

The Race

Training Days

Besieged

Retribution

Consequence

The Patron

Short Story Collections:

Sliced and Diced

For more information about all Joan’s books pop on over to her website https://joandelahaye.com/

Protector of the Citadel

I am the hero of my people. I’m a skilled butcher of men and women alike. My mighty King sends me to irksome places that will not conform to his rule or the ideals of our society. I kill people whose heinous crime was not believing as we do or not wanting to live under my King’s bootheel.

After a battle, my King hails me as the protector of the Citadel and sends nubile women to my bed to soothe my wounds and reward me for my heroic deeds. I drink wine and thrust into those lucky women. I drown the sounds of the screams of the vanquished in a warm bath scented with lavender and rose petals. I live a life of luxury until the next battle. I am my people’s champion, and they love me for my ability to kill without mercy. They idolise me for my skill with a blade. I take pleasure in every moment of my existence, for every moment may be my last.

Today is a day like many others in our war with the neighbouring tribes. I stand on a battlefield strewn with the corpses of the fallen. I hear the screams of the wounded and dying. My armour still gleams in the sun even though it is wet with the blood of the warriors I have slain this day. Their champion was slaughtered at the start of the battle by my hand in single combat. His head will ornament my King’s altar on my return.

These worms did not accept the judgement of our Gods over theirs. The Gods have shown me favour by giving me the strength to vanquish my enemy. These fools refused to lay down arms when I cut off their protector’s head. I will butcher them without mercy for their stubborn refusal of my King’s rule or our Gods’ supremacy. They will all pay the ultimate price for their desire for independence.

I roar at the heavens as I strike down yet another of these weaklings with my double-bladed axe and dare anyone else to challenge me. A small figure strolls out of the battle throng. She is but a girl gripping a sword she can barely carry. She dares to point the blade at me. It has been bloodied so she must have taken it from one of the dead. She is brave but foolish. I am tempted to let her live so the King can have her in his bed as a prize, but only after having my fun first. The King has no need to know that I have had her first.

The survivors of her clan cheer her on. The fools do not seem to doubt her. They hail her as their Princess. I was right, she will make a worthy prize for my King, even if I hand her over slightly used and wounded. I will not kill her, just hobble her. I will have to take pains not to damage her pretty face. It would be a crime to ruin such perfection with a scar. She smiles as she approaches. She looks up at me with wide-eyed innocence.

A ripple of excitement weaves its way through both sides. My men laugh. They know the enjoyment I will have with this royal slip of a girl. I will take my time with her on and off the field. I can’t help but lick my lips at the thoughts my mind conjures.

I’m sorry I was late for the battle, the girls says with a sweet smile. My Mother had me dealing with other affairs. My Squire had to take my place as champion. Clearly, he was not worthy of a challenge such as yours. My apologies if you feel slighted. That was not my intention.

She is so sincere in her speech that I am momentarily confused by her words. Before I can comprehend the full meaning of her words, she moves like lightning, and slides between my legs, slicing my thighs with her blade. It takes a few moments for my mind to realise that I am bleeding. I haven’t seen my own blood since I was a young boy in training.

I cannot allow her to live after this display. She has humiliated me in front of my men and must die for her insolence. I turn to face her with a roar like a lion. She smiles up at me and is on me once more. She bounds up my legs and onto my shoulders like a playful kitten before she plunges her sword into my shoulder. As I fall to the ground, she pats my head and jumps down.

My blood joins that of the ones I slew earlier. A shocked gasp runs through my army as I sink to my knees in front of the girl.

Please kill me, I beg her. I cannot live with this shame. I have disgraced my King and my people.

As I look at her sweet face, which is now level with mine, I see my army run. They have seen me fall and think the battle lost. It is a defeat my King will not recover from. His enemies will know that without me, he is vulnerable and will attack him from every side. All is lost. I weep for my city and my people. They will blame me. All honours will be ripped from my house and family. My Mother will curse the day I was born. I bow my head and wait for her to take my head. It will be painful as she will need several strikes to sever my head.

I’m not going to kill you, the girl says. You are a gift for my Mother.

I stare at her in confusion.

You will give her more strong daughters, she says as she raises my hand up to the heavens. Her surviving warrior women cheer. The fate I’d planned for the Princess is now to be mine. This little girl who has beaten me is hailed as their hero and the protector of their Citadel. I hang my head in shame as I am led off in chains to be mounted by their Queen.

Real Estate Hell

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Let us help you burn in style.

The client walked through the heat retardant glass doors to the sounds of screams tinkling from the bell above the door. It wasn’t his first visit to Inferno Properties’ offices. He was a difficult client who’d earned his place in the Underworld a thousand times over. He’d killed so many people with his bare hands the Devil had lost count. His death toll had earned him a luxury apartment in one of the most desired buildings in Hell – Serial Killer Abyss.

The client tapped his long claws on the counter. He was not a patient man, and while he couldn’t kill her, he could flay her again - slowly. He’d been known to do that to his victims topside. It was the only thing he believed in taking his time with. She’d learnt that the hard way.

When she’d first tried to land him as a client, she’d thought a little seduction was in order. She hadn’t realised how little it would be, or how quickly that part would be over, or that he considered flaying her as part of the evening’s pleasure. He’d taken all night just slicing the skin from her breasts. She’d faked her screams perfectly. He hadn’t even realised that she’d dozed off on a few occasions

The discomfort and tedium she’d experienced at his hands was a small price to pay for the commission she’d get once his signature was on the contract.

What are you showing me today?

Reviews for Sliced and Diced 2

[Graham Downs · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I remember really enjoying Sliced and Diced, so when I saw this one was out, I snapped it up.

It was pretty good. Some minor editing issues, and interesting stylistic choices, but mostly, the stories held my attention. Unlike the first book, none of them are really scary or horror-like, but I still enjoyed them.

They’re just... not as good as the ones in the first book. I think what attracted me to those, back when I read it, was that most of them were explicitly set in South Africa, so I had an immediate connection to the places and situations. These are a lot more generic in setting. And some of them mention “the pandemic”, which in the first place will probably make them feel dated in a few years, and in the second, isn’t something I want to be reminded of when I read fiction. Of course, I understand that that’s my taste, and lots of people are actually interested in reading stories specifically set in the time of COVID-19.

It’s a mixed bag, but I like the author and I think she has an interesting take on life, so I think you’ll definitely find something you enjoy in this collection.