Family

By Samael Wolf

Sanmei Long is a university student who knows a secret: the world is home to supernatural creatures and they live among us with none the wiser. Her girlfriend is demonic, her friends are feline, and the monsters which hunt her are horrific. The worst part is knowing that there are still more secrets being kept from her. What is Omiyage really, and why are they so interested in a med student? What is it that hunts her, and why does everyone seem to think she's better off not knowing anything about it? The answers will challenge her very understanding of the world — again. Unravel the mystery in a journey of self-discovery and find the truth with dragon eyes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Samael Wolf
• Release date: Nov 26, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005174613

Samael Wolf

In the mid to late 90s, a hapless newbie stumbled on a website called WBS.net and discovered a chat room dedicated to a form of collaborative storytelling and it was all downhill from there. I logged into Nia’s Tavern whenever I possibly could, but it wasn’t until WBS was purchased by Disney-ABC and its chat infrastructure underwent heavy renovations that my writing hobby became a driving passion. I grew up writing stories with people, generating hundreds of thousands of words every week in TocTik’s Bar and Grill and other roleplaying venues. Alas, people grow up, grow apart, and nothing stunts online collaboration more surely than the calling of adulthood.It turned out that I’m not very good at growing up, so when the roleplaying rooms closed and people went their separate ways, I kept writing and writing. Now dwelling in the Pacific Northwest, I'm dedicating my writing to exploring the fantasy world we all want to exist just beyond the veil of mundane life. As an autistic, transgender and bisexual person, you can expect my writing to contain a lot of diverse characters and situations which parallel day to day life — but always with an undertone of the fantastic.

Book preview

Family

Samael Wolf

Dragon Eyes – Book Two

Family, second book of the Dragon Eyes series

Copyright 2020 Samael Wolf

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please visit your favorite ebook retailer to purchase your own copy.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Family cover art provided by Sammi Wilder.

This work contains both real and fictional locations. Please be aware that even where locations are based on actual places, the details given in this work may not be representative.

Version 1.00, last updated 11/17/2020

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Epilogue

Words from the Author

Chapter One

Six months ago, the most complicated thing in my life was being a minor celebrity. I wasn’t famous by a long shot, but I still got recognized occasionally. There was a documentary about me that showed up in re-runs every once and awhile, and apparently people stumbled on it online — not that I would know, since I didn’t use my laptop often and my smart devices just made me feel, well, not.

This is me: Sanmei Long, a senior at the University of Washington. I’m also blind, even though I could describe what you’re wearing right down to the color of your shoelaces. What made me such an attractive subject for the documentary was my unusual combination of traits: I have very keen senses and synesthesia. Somehow these joined forces within my brain to create imagery I’d spent my entire childhood thinking was the way everyone saw the world, only to find out when I was nine that what I could do was actually unique. It was like echolocation, except fueled by all of my senses working in harmony.

This is probably the most uninteresting thing about my life nowadays, if that says anything. Six months ago, the most that could be said about me was that I was a somewhat precocious teenager working through college with her sights set on becoming an emergency physician, working a part time job on the side. I’d had my life on track with every step I took bringing me closer to my goal. I’d had casual acquaintances I considered friends and the most exciting thing in years had been a night I let myself be dragged to a rave and met the most wonderful woman in my life— well, that’s getting a little bit ahead of myself. First she moved into the apartment I shared with two other young women, then the fun and the trouble started.

It began the day I interrupted a domestic abuse situation. A man who turned out to be a cop was on the verge of killing his wife in front of their son when I stopped them, and since I had no idea what to do if I couldn’t call the police—even in liberal, open-minded Seattle, it can be hard to convince the police to take action against one of their own—I wound up unloading my fears and concerns on my newest housemate and crush, Esti Maite.

A few days later that same cop had been found dead on the street, apparently of natural causes. A little detective work of my own revealed it to have been the work, somehow, of Esti. This was where my life took a turn for the bizarre.

When I confronted her, Esti revealed herself to have demonic heritage and then tried to erase my memory of the incident, but her attempt inexplicably failed, leaving her with no choice but to bring me into the secret world of the supernatural. Along the way, I discovered my manager at the No-Name Coffeehouse was another creature out of fairy tales and fantasy novels, was attacked by a ghostly creature called an oppression, performed a magical exorcism which sent it to whatever awaits us after death, and— oh, yes. And Esti and I officially became a couple, a fact which I found almost as amazing as everything else.

There was some aftermath to the excitement. When she found out that I had somehow used some form of what she called ‘white’ magic, Esti wanted me to travel to a school called Omiyage which could apparently train me in their use. However, she warned, once I went there, I would probably never be able to come back. Well, that simply wasn’t an option for me and we had a fight over it, ending with me putting my foot down on any notion of leaving my foster father or career behind. It was a sore spot between us for months, but since I hadn’t shown any signs of manifesting that power a second time, it seemed like a moot point.

For better or worse, life seemed to have largely gone back to normal and I was still on track to earn my bachelor’s degree in March. After that, I would be doing my utmost to get into the UW School of Medicine and I expected that I would have very little time to be concerned about demons, ghosts, or… whatever my manager was. Not that I could completely ignore it when my girlfriend was required to seduce and feed from two or three people every week in order to maintain her demonic essence, but it took less time than you might think to get used to her odd hours and evening rituals. As long as she didn’t kill anyone—again—I could live with it.

In fact, Esti had told me she had an idea for my upcoming birthday that, she promised, would more than make up for how much attention she had to pay other people. Knowing just how wickedly delightful she could be in bed and how she liked to prolong her affections until I was on the verge of tears, I couldn’t tell if I was looking forward to it or downright nervous. Either way, I could count on it being memorable, putting it lightly.

One day I’d learn to stop thinking like that. God seemed to make a point of ensuring it became exceptionally true.

February 18th fell on a Saturday this year, which I unexpectedly had off. Normally I spent the evening tutoring or sitting for Jeffrey, the six year old son of the abused woman I’d unknowingly saved. He barely needed my help at this point to keep up with his peers in school, but Sophia—his mother—thought he was still benefiting from my presence in other ways. Considering he’d lost his father not long ago and was too young to understand that this wasn’t entirely a bad thing, I wasn’t inclined to argue. Besides, getting paid to keep company with someone whose idea of a fun afternoon was coloring or building with Legos instead of watching television or playing a video game was far from the worst use of my time.

That’s not a complaint about people who like television or video games, by the way. My synesthesia simply doesn’t work very well on purely visual media, so I miss out on most of the action. If I’m lucky, I get glimpses of the actors or studios and can piece together what I should be seeing from that, but often, the visuals don’t make any sense to me, so I tend not to be as into those sorts of things.

Anyway, when I mentioned that my birthday was coming up, Sophia insisted that I have the day off this week to celebrate it properly. My plans expanded from having a birthday lunch before work or possibly one at Jeffrey’s house to having the entire day free, and that was when Esti proposed an idea, something that never would have crossed my mind if our relationship hadn’t developed so much over the last six months.

Esti liked to tease, while I — blushed a lot when teased. My attempts at eliciting the same reaction out of her tended to end in dismal failure. I quickly learned that she was almost shameless, and trying to rise—or descend—to her level usually just wound up embarrassing myself. Sometimes it was fun to try anyway, though, so when she proposed we go to Club Rave-N and have a proper party with lights and music and ‘other things,’ that started a race to the bottom where I could tell, no matter who won, I was going to lose.

I asked what one even wore to such a place and she said she’d be happy to take me shopping and buy me a whole new outfit as part of my birthday present. Knowing I was playing with fire, I joked that she was just tired of me wearing long skirts and pants and wanted to see me in something skimpy. Far from assuring me otherwise, Esti somehow got me turned around to the point that I was soon agreeing to let her pick out my outfit.

Well, I guess I can count on being the second-sexiest dressed person there, next to you, I feebly joked as she took my measurements, already sort of worrying about what kind of ensemble she planned to put together for me.

Esti appeared to give this serious consideration before answering, which threw me off. She hummed thoughtfully, marking numbers down on a piece of scrap paper, and finally pronounced: No, I think you’ll actually beat me if I can find everything I’m thinking of. I’d been thinking of something for one of their themed nights that would look very good on you, and the stuff I usually wear there isn’t anything much.

I’d ‘seen’ her entire closet and some of the clothing there — I’m not even sure I could use that word to describe it. ‘Clothing,’ that is. Her wardrobe ran the gamut from several very formal pieces I wouldn’t have hesitated to wear to a fancy restaurant to something I’m pretty sure was a transparent PVC bodysuit. With my tendency to miss what was supposed to be banter and take her too seriously, I wound up gawking at her credulously, thinking she was doing a serious comparison between my hypothetical outfit and the worst thing in her closet.

Not unless you’re wearing sackcloth and the only thing I’m wearing is that weird underwear you got me last Christmas! I exclaimed, laughing in disbelief. "I’ve seen what you consider ‘sexy.’ Some of the stuff you’ve shown me would get me arrested if I tried to wear it in public."

I knew I’d said the wrong thing just then as Esti’s eyes lit up. You still have those? she demanded excitedly.

Lagging a few mental steps behind, I tilted my head questioningly and missed an opportunity to save myself some embarrassment. Which? The underwear? Of course I still have them. I wasn’t going to throw away a present. Even if it had been more of a joke than a present. When Esti had found out about my ability to ‘see’ things which couldn’t normally be seen, she’d challenged me to name the color of her underwear, only for me to discover when I reluctantly plied my senses to the task that she wasn’t wearing any. She’d kept the joke going by gifting me with a pair of panties I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. I wasn’t entirely sure what it was they did, but the mostly nude woman on the packaging and the fact that they came with a remote control led me to some pretty confident guesses.

Which, of course, meant that Esti wanted me to wear them.

Oh, you should totally do it! she coaxed between giggles while I protested, already pretty sure I was going to lose this battle — if I hadn’t already. The lights will be dim and no one really pays attention anyway, and even if they did see what was going on and figure it out, most people aren’t going to care in that place.

I wasn’t extremely comfortable with the idea, but I had to admit I was curious. Something about Esti tended to bring out my impulsive side. I tried to imagine it: if the underwear did what I thought it would and I put the control of that in Esti’s hands, and we were surrounded by people, any of whom could realize what was happening, and I could sit in her lap and snuggle while she did whatever she liked…

"I’ll… think about it," I managed, blushing so hard that my face stung. Something told me that despite my clever obfuscation, I had not succeeded in convincing her that I wasn’t swayed to her side of reasoning.

Esti smoothed her mischievous grin into an expression of innocence. In a completely unrelated change of topic, you might want to pick up a pack of AAA batteries at your next opportunity.

I might be blind, but you could say I saw that coming.

The next day after classes and putting an hour into a 10 page essay I needed to have written for GENOME 453—Genetics of the Evolutionary Process—by the end of the month, Esti almost literally scooped me up to take me to the Alderwood Mall to go clothes shopping. I tried not to feel annoyed by the spontaneity of her planning since I knew she loved keeping me off-balance when she had mischief in mind. It wasn’t like I was worried that I wouldn’t finish in time, although it would take awhile to finish since it relied heavily on materials gathered from a computer; I just didn’t like having so little forewarning when I preferred to plan my day out in advance.

Still, Esti managed to cajole me into some enthusiasm as she hustled me into the car. The weather was too cold to have the windows down, so enthusiasm was what helped me focus on something other than how the world seemed to shrink away to a tiny bubble surrounding the vehicle, representing what little my senses could detect of our surroundings. It always made me a little nervous to be hurtling along so fast without being able to see what was in front of me. Sometimes my senses were an advantage, but between wrestling with my computer and a half hour car ride, I was feeling their downsides pretty hard today.

Lot of people out tonight, Esti remarked, apparently describing drivers or pedestrians, not that I could tell one way or the other. People celebrating Valentine’s Day late, maybe.

I blushed, knowing where her mind had gone. This Valentine’s Day had been my first in which I actually had someone in my life, but I’d had classes all morning and work from 2:00 until 10:00 with another early start the next morning, so it hadn’t looked like we’d have a chance to do anything special that day. Then Esti had shown up at the No-Name Coffeehouse to serenade me in front of everyone, singing something I presumed was in Basque, guessed was a love song, and knew was embarrassing. Impervious to shame and ignoring mine, she carried on until some of our patrons had heard the chorus enough times to hum along, pulling me out from behind the counter by the hand and sashaying around me in a manner which would have made me blush had mortification not accomplished it already.

She finished by dipping me back and kissing me so thoroughly that the initial cheers turned to oohs and hoots, and suddenly the embarrassment was worth it, knowing I had just been claimed in a manner that no one would soon forget. She had made the status of our relationship very public. Over the lusty applause of the customers, she whispered in my ear and told me she’d outdo herself on my birthday.

Somehow I’d found it within my heart to forgive her for the debacle. How could I even begin to complain when she’d made me feel so wanted and loved? I’m sure a part of that reaction was the nagging insecurity I was mostly over from my days in the foster system, but a little over-the-top wooing was never amiss.

Esti smirked at me, sneaking glances in my direction while she somehow maneuvered the car through traffic. She knew I’d be tongue-tied after that reminder and it seemed to amuse her to no end how easily she could render me speechless. I’d just get so flustered and my tongue would lock up, the words in my head would stop making sense, and she’d just grin and wait for me to calm down so I could verbalize again. She said she was just helping me ‘practice.’ Practice what, I wondered. Magic? Sometimes it felt like we made magic together, but I didn’t think that was the same thing. One exorcised corrupted spirits, the other exorcised unhappiness.

God, I could be so squishy sometimes.

I recognized a slight change in the way Esti was handling the car shortly before she announced, We’re here! and realized we were now parked. Stifling a sigh of relief, I took my folding cane out of my purse and leaned over for a kiss before we got out. Unfolding the cane was the work of a few seconds, followed by fishing my sunglasses out of a soft inner purse pocket. I didn’t truly need these things to function, but they tended to make things easier. People were more liable to give me space if they thought I was properly blind, and were quicker to forgive the rare occasion when my synesthesia didn’t function well enough to avoid a mishap, which was more common in crowded places where it was harder to keep track of so many people at the same time. The possibility of being touched was also a factor — I had reached the point where Esti’s touches no longer made me jump, but strangers were still a different matter entirely.

Still, I didn’t need to extend my cane out far for it to help. I kept it pointed mostly downward, tapping occasionally to give my synesthesia sound and touch-feedback to better create the visuals behind my blind eyes, which was a boon when sometimes it could be hard to perceive ice on a sidewalk or a small trip hazard. My ears popped as Esti pulled open a door and then we were in the mall proper before the chill of Washington’s typical wet winter season had a chance to sink in. I took a moment to orient myself as the door softly hissed shut, smiling as Esti performed a little shuffle to make sure her hair was all the way inside before it closed. She had hair down to the backs of her knees, and while it was beautiful—and fun to play with, and sometimes in—it required a lot of care. My own hair could reach the small of my back when I didn’t braid it, and that was as long as I dared let it grow.

So where did you have in mind to go? I inquired as she smoothed her hair with her hands, not particularly familiar with clothing stores at the mall, much less the kind which sold clothes Esti thought would be appropriate for the club to which we’d be going. I assumed we’d be going to Hot Topic and said so.

We can certainly look there for other things, but what I had in mind was a little more elegant, Esti replied enigmatically. If you don’t mind if we walk around a bit while I look for something in particular?

Aside from studying and homework, what else did I have to do on a Friday afternoon? I quickly learned just how time-consuming this might turn out to be, as Esti spent twenty minutes combing over a single store before selecting and paying for a pair of sheer black stockings. As we walked out, I cleared my throat, aware of how much I was blushing. "You do know I don’t have a garter belt, right?" I interjected carefully, now with fresh reason to be concerned about exactly what kind of outfit she was putting together.

That’s the next stop, she said, smirking. "Spencer’s recently got this really cute garter belt I hope is still in stock, plus a couple of other things which should be. Come on."

I sighed, but made sure to smile so she knew I was still enjoying myself. Even if all we did was walk around together, that was enjoyable too. Nonetheless, I found reason to perk up even more as I noticed a familiar face milling about casually on the other side of the walkway. Esti, hold on a second, isn’t that Aen? Do you mind if I stop and say hello? I asked, pointing even though I recognized the trans woman myself. It was more to give Esti a chance to object if she didn’t feel like being social.

I wasn’t actually sure what relationship my girlfriend had with Aen, or even with Aen’s sister Sae, who was my manager at the No-Name. Esti had introduced me to Sae last year to help secure a job for me at the coffeehouse, but their friendship at times seemed strained by the fact that Sae’s brand of mischief tended toward innuendos which even Esti found difficult to bear. Sae had been the one to give me a push toward confronting Esti about her vigilantism and her demonic nature. Esti, in turn, could only tell me that Sae was some sort of feline creature with powers that no one had ever properly identified yet. I knew she could teleport and allegedly she could change her physical appearance. I assumed the same was true of her two sisters, Aen and Ley, as well as her brother, Kei.

That’s why I was less surprised to see Aen with feline ears and a tail than I was to see them being displayed in public. These feline appendages were all of a sandy blonde color that matched the hair on her head and all but begged for a closer inspection, but I peered up at Esti for a cue. She was clearly taken aback, but recovered quickly, flashing a quick smile and shrugging in a nonchalant manner. Sure, if you want to, she replied after a slight pause. I’m just going to peek into Spencer’s and see if they have what I’m looking for. Catch up with me there when you’re ready.

I hoped I wasn’t committing a faux pas, but smoothed over my uncertainty by leaning up on tiptoe to kiss her and hurried along before I could lose Aen in the crowd of shoppers. It wasn’t hard to locate her; the ears and tail seemed to give her invisible bubble where she walked freely, receiving the occasional compliment or comment from someone who had noticed and assumed them to be part of a costume. There was something else amiss too, but it took me a moment to pick up on it.

The last time I had seen her, she was still wearing men’s clothing, having only recently realized she was trans and still having difficulty navigating the social changes that brought about. Today her attire was much more feminine, if rather on the punk or goth side, not that I could tell which. Her top was a black sweater absolutely covered in silver eyelets, studs, laces and zippers, none of which seemed to have any practical purpose, while her skirt was a tiny thing of black ruffles that resembled a tutu someone had inexpertly shredded. It left most of her legs exposed to the point that they were more adequately covered by a low-hanging belt around her hips, from which dangled dozens of thin, short chains. A casual viewer would have probably assumed her tail was an attachment fixed to the belt.

Aen! I called, precipitating my somewhat breathless arrival as I tapped my way over. Hi! It’s been awhile!

I kind of expected having to jog her memory of who I was since it had been six months since we’d last seen each other, but Aen took two quick steps forward and scooped me clean up off the floor into an embrace, swinging me in a semi-circle before letting me back down unsteadily to the floor. I giggled breathlessly into her shoulder, instantly overwhelmed by so much unanticipated physical contact. Thank God she didn’t have anything nefarious in mind; I’m pretty sure she could have carried me off and I’d have never managed to put up a fight.

Good kitty, I mumbled inanely, managed to pry myself away after a moment and take stock of all my parts and pieces. The only reason I hadn’t dropped my cane was because of the loop at the end being around my wrist and my glasses definitely needed straightening, but other than that, the only thing to have broken was my composure. I took a few deep breaths, a few more giggles bubbling up.

Sanmei— Aen paused and cleared her throat. When she spoke a second time, her voice was lighter. "Good to see you! It has been awhile. Sae says you and Esti are an item now?"

I nodded, blushing. If there was anyone left in Seattle who didn’t know already, I’d hesitate to tell Esti in case she wanted to make sure they found out. Since not long after you and I met. We’re actually here to do some birthday shopping for me, apparently. She’s putting together an outfit for me to wear for the party tomorrow night at Rave-N. Speaking of which— I gestured to her outfit. "You look amazing."

It turned out there were some people I could make blush, as Aen proved by turning crimson. She mumbled a thank you, ducking her head shyly so that blonde hairs covered her face. I used the opportunity to study her feline ears curiously. The musculature and skeletal formation of the top of her skull was tricky for me to inspect without actually touching them, but it did appear those ears were functional in addition to the more humanoid ears in the usual position. I had a feeling that, in privacy, the latter were probably made to disappear just as mysteriously as the feline ears could appear.

Trying to be myself as much as possible today, she explained shortly, sidling closer to the wall so that we weren’t standing in the midst of so many people. It’s my first outing in front of so many people. I’m kinda scared shitless, to be honest. I can’t tell what people are looking at when they stare at me. But yeah, uh, happy birthday.

Aww. I wanted to hug her again, but I thought I might fall over if I tried to initiate contact after all that. Instead, I decided it was my turn to scoop her up in a different fashion. Why don’t you tag along with Esti and me? I invited, hoping Esti wouldn’t object to her company. Maybe you can keep Esti from dressing me up like a lingerie model.

Aen laughed softly. "Sure, if you don’t mind, but I am probably the worst person to ask help from on that."

I silently conceded the point, trying not to notice her legs again. That skirt was so short, the curve of her rear probably showed if she wasn’t careful how she stepped. Small comfort for me to imagine, since I could see her legs from angles which apparently sighted people couldn’t without being obvious about it. It was a habit not to look any closer since I’d had it pounded into me that underwear and what it covered were obscene since long before anyone knew that I could see whatever I liked, but it had probably saved me from some even more embarrassing situations when I was younger. Now that I was older and more mature, I just considered it being respectful of people’s privacy.

But, mmm, I’d have been lying if I’d said there wasn’t any temptation to peek.

In here, I said, tapping my way toward Spencer’s. It was a store of miscellany, t-shirts, sex toys and decorative neon lights. I’d only been in there a couple of times before; the last time, I’d bought a sucker shaped like a phallus in an effort to repay Esti for embarrassing me with her Christmas gift. The joke was on me; she’d enjoyed it far too much. This time I hoped the outcome would be more innocent. Given that I found her in the far back looking at handcuffs and vibrators, I suspected I was out of luck.

Esti raised an eyebrow and frowned for just an instant as I came into view with Aen lagging a bit behind me, but her expression quickly smoothed to one of resignation. Normally I object to collecting stray cats, but I think I can make an exception for this one. Hi, Aen, she said casually, giving her a blatant look up and down. "Not bad; really like that skirt. It looks good on you. Did you find someone to model for in town?"

Actually— Aen cleared her throat, rubbing her arm uncomfortably. I’m not just crossdressing for funsies anymore. Like, that’s how it started, but I’m definitely trans at this point. She flinched as she said the words, but if I’d thought to say something earlier, I could have assured her that it wasn’t necessary to worry. Esti and I had a few mutual trans friends in the coffeehouse and I’d never seen a hint of bigotry out of her.

Esti just nodded, not even batting an eye. Huh. I kind of figured that would turn out to be the case, the first time I saw you all dressed up. It’s all good; there’s nothing wrong with giving things a test run and seeing if they click. It’s not like life comes with a manual.

I looked between the two curiously, orienting on one and then the other in search of deeper meaning to the exchange. I knew almost nothing about their time in Omiyage, but clearly their history together ran back at least that far. I couldn’t even begin to guess, but I had a suspicion Esti had just bumped up her respect for Aen a notch, and I had no idea where it had been before or what Aen had done to deserve either change in status. To judge by Aen’s expression of reluctant appreciation, the same was true for her as well. Bad blood being sweetened a little? I hoped so; I certainly preferred my friends to get along, though I wondered what had been between them before.

Did you find anything? I asked unnecessarily, hoping to lighten the mood further. I could ‘see‘ Esti had something tucked behind her back. She’d probably forgotten I could also see what it was.

Oh. Yes. Esti held it up, confirming what it appeared to be, to my mingled horror and — well, I’m not actually sure what that other emotion was, but it made me want to kick and squeal. Aen let out a low whistle and I couldn’t even find fault in her doing so. It was indeed a garter belt, one with a wide, lacy black band that I suspected would ride pretty low on my hips, and a bit of fluff in the back which could only be a bunny tail. I wouldn’t have been bothered by it, except this was an accessory designed to be seen by others, while still doing very little to cover the body of the person wearing it.

No one’s actually going to see this, right? I wondered, feeling my heart do awkward little flips. "I d-do get the right to veto this if it’s too much, I stated as much as asked, fixating on that fluffy tail. I mean, I’m not saying no right now, b-but—"

"But if you’re not comfortable, you’re not comfortable and it’s not going to happen, Esti asserted soothingly, giving my arm a squeeze. And in that case, all this can either come back here for exchanges or just live in your dresser for special occasions. I don’t mind what happens to it all as long as you wind up being happy at the end. Okay?"

Aen was pretending to be engrossed in a wall of fishnet stockings and bodysuits, but I saw her feline ears flick slightly. Sighing softly, I forced myself to smile. Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious to see what you come up with, I conceded and tried not to laugh as nearly identical expressions of glee crossed both their faces.

That was as close as I was going to come to admitting that I kind of wanted to wear it just to see how people reacted, too. Whether the root of my sudden impulsiveness was combating low self-esteem or abandonment issues, the thought of feeling desired by others was strangely appealing. I didn’t think I looked like anything special, but if anyone could make me look sexy, I’d have put money on Esti pulling it off, and I was interested in seeing what that would be like. What it would feel like. I’d worn street clothes the last time I’d been to a rave and I’d felt out of place on so many levels. What would it feel like to belong? To stand out for reasons other than medical anomalies? To catch eyes not because I used a cane and wore dark sunglasses, but because I was actually eye-catching?

For reasons having nothing to do with beautiful blind girls, I’d be interested in knowing what time you plan on going to the club, Aen inquired with wide, guileless eyes that I didn’t believe for even a moment. I rattled my cane at her threateningly and she just laughed.

After some deliberation, Esti bought the bunny garter belt, but decided to pass on a fishnet she’d been considering for herself. She said it was close to what she wanted, but the weave wasn’t right and it was too small. Since it was nearly the time when I would start making dinner if we were home, I suggested we head for the food court next. They were both amenable, though Aen apologized for a short delay and ducked off to make a purchase of her own. She tried to hide what she’d purchased in a nondescript bag, but I couldn’t help my synesthesia discerning what it was and I was left to wonder how she intended to make use of a fishnet bodysuit, and whether I actually wanted to know.

The food court was packed, and the crowd made enough noise that they blurred together in my mind, making it difficult to distinguish individuals among groups. Esti wanted Panda Express, Aen wanted Cafe Rio and I had no idea what I felt like, so we split up three ways and I wandered along the row of counters for each restaurant stall and tried to decide what smelled the most interesting. The Gyro Express was a strong contender, but the fried fish at Anthony’s was making a good argument on its own behalf. While I waited for my stomach to come to a decision, I realized someone was hailing me from nearby.

Free sample? Miss, try free sample? called a male voice with a heavy Chinese accent. I smiled automatically, doing my best to orient in his direction. With a wall of sound