Filthy Hampshire Limericks

By Stuart Pidd

Warning: These limericks are for broadminded adults only as they are, as the name suggests, somewhat filthy. In fact, make that downright filthy.

The good folk of Hampshire are nowhere near as filthy, perverted and sleazy as I have made them out to be in this collection of limericks. It is all done in jest because sometimes a little bit of filth is just what you need to lighten your mood and make you smile.

Stokes Bay

A man once went down to the beach at Stokes Bay
There he disrobed; he was butt-nekkid, as they say
There was soon a howl of protest
People objected to the vim and zest
Of his heat-seeking missile as he brought it into play

Purbrook

There was an unfortunate woman from Purbrook
Who repeatedly for a man was somehow mistook
So she would lift her skirt and show her large clit
And open up her blouse and display her right tit
Men said ‘Please Mister, may we have another look?’

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jun 16, 2014
• ISBN: 9781291919530

Book preview

Filthy Hampshire Limericks

Filthy Hampshire Limericks

Copyright 2014 Stuart Pidd

All rights reserved. The entire collection is copyrighted and you make not duplicate it or use it for monetary gain, but feel free to share a few limericks with your friends.

First edition

ISBN 978-1-291-91953-0

Please note: Apostrophes are often not used in place names in the UK. To be consistent I have not used any even though my fingers itched to put them in.

Please do not take offence at any stereotypical words used to describe genders or sexuality; there are used purely for jest. Diversity rocks!

Waltham Chase

There was a young lady from Waltham Chase

Who thought her village a most dreary place

One day she bought a big vibrator

Which did somewhat alleviate her

Boredom; and she thought her toy quite ace

But what she really wanted was something throbbing and warm

She wanted what everyone else had, nothing way out of the norm

She found a rugged fella down at the pub

Who drilled her good with his thick stub

Sadly he wasn’t husband material; he’d done time and had form

She decided to cast her net far and wide

Many men came along and had a ride

Leaving her little village far behind

She sought out the pump and grind

And took all manner of men in her stride

Sadly it wasn’t too long before she was very clapped out

She wore the look of decadence and decay on her snout

Men soon gave her a very wide berth

As wide as her own burgeoning girth

She went back to her village to raise her future lager lout

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Cove

There once was an unemployed young woman from Cove

Who decided that her pussy was an unused treasure trove

So he had some cards printed and put up in a phone box

And it didn’t take long before owners of big, hard cocks

Were paying to shag her with gusto in a sheltered grove

Her husband came home early one day

And spotted her out in a field, at play

‘What the hell is the meaning of this?’ he cried

‘Sorry babe, we’re behind on the gas’ she lied

Said