"Sickos?" - A Survival Guide for Sex Offenders, Survivors and Society

By J. O'Hughes

This book is about helping sex offenders to be able to cope with society upon their release from prison with aides so that they will not reoffend again as well as to abide by the sex offender registry laws in each state. It Is also a book for survivors of sex offenses and for society at large in order to get an understanding as to why these crimes happen and how each involved can help lessen the rate of recidivism for this sort of crime.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781312813175

Book preview

"Sickos?" - A Survival Guide for Sex Offenders, Survivors and Society

Sickos?

A Survival Guide

For

Sex Offenders,

Survivors

And

Society

By

J. O’Hughes

Copyright © 2015, J. O'Hughes

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN 978-1-312-81317-5

Sicko

"Sicko":  A psychotic or mentally unstable person

Sicko?

A child cries in the dark,

With no help to be found…

Don’t you dare make a sound!

Becoming a man now,

Still trapped in that dark night…

He has no way to fight

Victim, Victimizer,

He breaks a sacred trust…

He hates his painful lust!

Society can’t see,

This beast was once a boy…

Who was used as a toy…

…Why do you call him a "Sicko"?

Studies show...

Studies show that 30% of all sex offenders were the victims of sex abuse as children…

97% of all victims knew their abuser.

______________________________________________________

…in the end it all goes away

System of a Down:  Sugar

Introduction

In the United States, there are nearly 750,000 convicted sex offenders as of 2014.  In the world, there are millions more.  I myself am a registered, convicted sex offender.  My crimes took place when I was a teenager at 17 and 18 while on drugs and alcohol and involved with the Occult.  I take full responsibility for my criminal and immoral acts upon these innocent people, and I am sorry.

Many people have no sympathy for a person guilty of a sex offense.  I am 46 years old at the time of this writing, and for almost 28 years I have faced every form of harassment, from losing friends, to not being given a job, to girlfriends and a wife leaving me and being a victim of cyber-vigilantes and social media assassination.  For almost three decades, I have faced far worse judgment from people in society than from the judge or prison guards I had faced in the past. 

Not long ago, I lost a wife and son due to lies and horrible harassment on Facebook:  a societal cyber-vigilante got my wife’s Facebook account and sent her and her family a great deal of false information which caused her a great deal of problems.  The harassment got so bad she had to leave me in order to find peace from the cowardly cyber-vigilante.  I used to work as a Bounty Hunter, so I knew with the right experts I could track these people down.  So that is what I did. I used my connections and experience to track them down.  Once I learned who it was I honestly wanted to kill them and was making plans for just that. But had I done it I would just have ended up in prison again, or on death row.  So, I decided just to walk away. I realized I have two children, and I do not want them to have a father who is a sex offender AND also a murderer.  I forgave them, not just for my children’s sake but for mine as well. I was becoming that old, angry person again. I was becoming like THEM, and I realized that I am far better than their cowardly actions. While they feel their life had meaning by cowardly harassing sex offenders while hiding behind a computer, mine had meaning within myself and who I really am as a human being now. My ego began to lose its control over my life and I was awakening from this nightmare we all live in. I had come to realize no matter had I maimed or killed them, I would be no better than they: from the very act of not acting I decided to write this book to help people like me get through all the hell that comes with being a sex offender.

I also wrote the book for survivors of sex abuse and for those who view sex offenders in a negative light, hoping that they will see that sex offenders are still human beings who may need to be shown the correct path to walk in life: a life free of sexually offending another person. In short, to regain their humanity after losing it due to their crimes as society sees it.

If you are reading this book, you are either a sex offender, a care giver for sex offenders, a friend or family member of a sex offender, a survivor of a sex offense or a person just wondering what we as a society are to do with sex offenders.  Whomever you are, this book will help you. This book is not here to justify the acts of a sex offender or to lay a certain political cause at your feet. It is simply a survival guide for all people. What we did was wrong, plain and simple. And the laws passed against sex offenders as a result of these crimes I am certain were passed by citizens who have the best interests of women and children at heart. There are no excuses if we truly harmed another person sexually. And if we really are sorry for what we did, we will seek professional and spiritual help so that we never harm another person again. 

I spent almost 15 years in prison for my acts. I have been free for almost 12 years now.  While in prison, I was able to get help for my sexual and chemical addiction problems, as well as giving my life to God from years being involved with the occult.  I know people claim that jail house Christians are frauds, and many may be, but some of us do really make a change.  While it is true that my life in the free world isn’t perfect, and I have made many mistakes, I have not harmed another person sexually nor will I.  I, more than most, realize the pain I have caused my victims and society and the pain I have caused to myself and my family: I will not do it again.

I have always believed that a frustrated sex offender is a sex offense waiting to happen.  I have said this a thousand times to people who insult and attack sex offenders, explaining to them that sexual addictions are just as much a psychological disorder as is

depression or drug addiction. I am NOT saying every frustrated sex offender will reoffend (professional studies, as you will learn, show differently). I am simply saying that some offenders who cannot cope well with frustrations in life-especially with the harassments they receive due to being a sex offender-could end up relieving that frustration in an inappropriate and illegal manner sexually.

While I am not a Psychologist, I have experienced enough by interacting with sex offenders in prison as well as talking with professionals to know that sexual addictions have a major psychological element behind them, possibly from a past of being abused themselves or witnessing abuse. Many sex offenders suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and do not even realize this; and PTSD can cause people to do things they normally would not do. Therefore, when I hear people say things like Sex offenders should have their balls cut off or they should be shot I ask them, Should a drug addict be shot? Or one suffering from bi-polar disorder get their balls cut off for running down the street naked?  To which I usually get a blank stare in response. 

Most people in our society do not see the psychological trauma that many sex offenders suffer, they only see the act.  I have even read articles from professionals who refer to sex offenders as these sickos!  Such statements only serve to further beat down the already low self esteem of the sex offender:  hence, frustration and rejection, which often leads to future sex or other crimes.  If we truly want to help better the crime statistics of sex offenses, it would behoove us to try and stop seeing sex offenders as sickos and begin to see them as human beings who need help and should be treated humanely. We must do what is necessary with what knowledge we have at our disposal to help them