Life as a Convicted Sex Offender

By T.J. Brewer

Expirience the injustice of the Department of Justice through the tales of many Sex Offenders, and how one small mistake can ruin the rest of your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michelle Dutton
• Release date: May 12, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393774600

Book preview

Preface

I must admit it, I am a voyeur, a person who derives sexual pleasure from seeing naked females, or heterosexual couples having sex.  I think that many men, perhaps even most men, are voyeurs.  Consider the plethora of ‘men’s magazines’, swimsuit editions, etc. which are available today.  I was a career educator.  I became a Sex Offender during my 30th year of teaching in 2009.  I had been looking at child nudity and child pornography on the Internet for some time.  That was pretty dumb.  I was careless enough to bring three of those images to school on a flash drive, which had some designs on it that I wanted to be printed out on the printer at school, which produced excellent quality images.  That was even dumber.  When I looked at the flash drive at home, it seemed to have no other images on it.  The problem was that I used my iMac to view the flash drive.  But there were child pornography (C.P.) videos on there that I had put there using my older computer, which used a Windows-based operating system.  When I put the flash drive in the computer at school, the child pornography videos came up along with the designs I wanted to print out.  One of the school counselors was helping me, and he saw the videos.  He later called the police.

They could have arrested me at home any time from Monday on.  But I was arrested at school the following Friday.  I was taken to the county jail, where I remained for nearly four months.  My bond was originally set at $250,000, but later was changed to $500,000.  I needed $50,000 in cash to get out on bail.  I didn’t have it, and probably would never see it again anyway.

I eventually became Federal property because I used the Internet to break the law, which was a violation of an Interstate Commerce statute.  I was taken by the FBI from the county jail to a Federal lockup in another city about 75 miles away.  I was arraigned before a Federal Magistrate and sent to a private prison to await further action.  I eventually was taken before another magistrate where I was told that my bond was set at $20,000.  Some difference!  I told them that I couldn’t pay it, and the prosecutor suggested to the judge that it be lowered to $10,000, and she agreed.  I figured that I could come up with the $1000 to get out on bail. My dad put up the necessary funds, and I was released on bail a few days later.  A good friend picked me up and took me to where my car had been stored and I went home.

I still don’t understand why I have to register for the Sex Offender’s list.  No one has been able to tell me who I offended.  All of the images that I saw were already on the Internet.  I didn’t produce any, I didn’t pay for any, I didn’t send any to anyone else.  I didn’t harm anyone.  None of the kids whose images I saw ever heard of me or even knew of my existence.  Thinking logically, it seems to me that since I used a computer to access the Internet, then I was guilty of a computer crime, not a sex crime.  But the Department of Justice (which I have come to think of as the Department of Injustice) does not seem to function on logic.

I know that I hurt and disappointed my family, friends, students and colleagues.  In fact, to this day, my daughter still refuses to have anything to do with me.  She won’t allow me to contact my only grandchildren, either.

I was out on bail for nearly a year, during which time I acquired a Federal Public Defender, who told me that I would not qualify for probation, and was looking at probably around a 23 month sentence.  He did very little else, including returning phone calls, and I was eventually sentenced to 46 months, exactly double what he had led me to expect.  He acted very deferential around the prosecutor, never challenging him, and I got the impression that he wanted to be a federal prosecutor himself.

Every view expressed in this book is my opinion only.  I will use no actual names, other than my own.  If there was any chance of getting any of the conditions of probation changed, I would hire a lawyer and go before a judge.  But the deck is stacked against anyone who has a felony conviction.  And one of my therapists told me that no Federal judge wants to be seen as being easy on a Sex Offender.

With this book, I want to appeal to anyone who is viewing child pornography to quit.  Erase everything on your computer.  Better yet, buy another one and destroy the hard drive and any other storage devices you may have used to store the child pornography.  Get professional therapeutic help, if you can.

I also want to inform you about the myriad ways that the Department of Justice (DOJ) is unjust.  Most of this info comes from personal experience with the Bureau of Prisons (BOP) and the Federal Probation Department.  I will not bore you with all of the screwy and unjust things that happened in prison.  Maybe I’ll include that in my next book.

Third, I want to tell the stories of twenty or so men who were in Federal Prison along with 

me.  They were also guilty of possession of child pornography.  They were viewers only -no contact offense, no molestation, and no rape.  But they were in prison just the same.  And they will be on the Sex Offender list just the same.

If you know of anyone who is a viewer of child pornography, pass this book on to them.  Maybe it will encourage them to stop.

And lastly, if you know of anyone who could perhaps write to Congress and lobby get these draconian laws changed, pass this book on to them.  The laws that make viewing a sex offense the same as molestation need to be reviewed and abolished.  As Gandhi once said, There are unjust laws and unjust men.  I am hoping to live long enough to see these unjust practices and unjust men and women in the Department of Injustice be overturned and become just again.

It is a great lie that once you serve out your sentence that you have paid your debt to society.  For this crime, it is a life sentence.  I doubt that I’ll ever be free again.

T. J. Brewer

2019

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ADDENDUM:  I just learned that I will be getting a new Probation Officer next month. 

I am hopeful that she will be a reasonable human being, unlike the two I have had before.

POST ADDENDUM:  I spoke too soon.  This new one is just as bad as the other two. She just makes things up to punish me with.  At least she doesn’t grin whenever she is giving me a hard time about something. Will this never end?

Foreword

Hello, I am Dr. Eleanor Rigby (obviously a nom de plume).  I am a licensed psychiatrist with a private practice of sex therapy which focuses on viewers of child pornography.  Some of my patients have been referred to me by other medical doctors.  Some have turned to me on their own because they know that they need help.  Some have been referred to me by the courts.  And some have already served sentences in prison and participate in counseling as a part of the conditions of their supervised release, or probation.

This issue seems to have become an epidemic in our modern culture in recent years.  Viewers of child pornography come from all walks of life: doctors, lawyers, teachers, military, blue collar workers, businessmen, young, middle aged, and retirees.  This activity has grown exponentially due to the prevalence of the Internet.  Over 98% of my patients were first exposed to child pornography by viewing legal nude images and videos of boys and girls under the age of 18, which were readily available for free through various websites, chatrooms, or person-to-person exchanges.  However, what may have started as curiosity