Gathering of Imbeciles: Book Three

By Paul E Kmiotek

The third and final book in the epic Gathering of Imbeciles trilogy finds Donald cleaning up after his boss, sitting in the lounge, and looking for another job. And, of course, scowling. Book Three continues to chronicle the rise and fall of the fictitious Corona Park Zoo with four short stories and three appendices.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 19, 2012
• ISBN: 9781300194910

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Gathering of Imbeciles: Book Three

Gathering of Imbeciles: Book Three

Gathering of Imbeciles

Book Three

An Indefensible History of the Corona Park Zoo

By Paul E Kmiotek

Cover Art and Illustrations by Paul E Kmiotek

Copyright 2012 by Paul E Kmiotek

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ISBN# 978-1-300-19491-0

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental . . . no, seriously.

Dedicated to my lovely wife Megan, who

has endured more permutations of this

abomination than any one person deserves.

Also to Donald and Guenther – they

know who they are – who made it

all so easy.

CONTENTS:

1. Hi-yo Dexter

2. Who the Hell is Daisy May?

3. Trachemys scripta elastica

4. The End

Appendix I:  Whatever happened to

Appendix II: Deleted scenes

Appendix III: Corona Park Zoo Map

1 Hi-yo Dexter

I

"Are you sure this is such a great idea, Dex?"

Yes Ron, as a matter of fact I am.  The director replied glibly, I think it’s a fantastic idea.  He was donning the finishing touches of the outfit he’d chosen for this special day; elbow length soft calfskin leather gloves.  They were tan with 6 inch long fringe that hung from the wrist up to the flared opening halfway up his pudgy limb.  Bedecked in a red and white plaid shirt that resembled a picnic blanket stretched over a mutant watermelon, brand new, crisp indigo jeans that would never be worn again (last year’s pair were inexplicably too small now, and this pair would undoubtedly ‘shrink’ by the time next year’s festivities loomed), and shiny black, knee high leather boots with red stars on the sides and intricate white stitching that formed the outlines of cacti and coyotes howling at the moon around each calf, Dexter was now ready for the zoo’s Wild Wild West Weekend to begin.

All that remained was his wide brimmed, black ten gallon hat with white trim around the brim and a knotted string that looped under (through?) his multiple chins.  Dexter put it on and motioned to Ron, C’mon pardner, I’ve got a bronco to buck!

Technically it’s a pony, Dex.  A very old, and not particularly large, pony.

So?  What’s your point?

I just don’t think this is a very good idea, is all.

Duly noted.  Now let’s go.  Didja wrangle me up an Injun yet?

That’s another thing, Dex.

What now?  The director sighed impatiently.

These are especially sensitive times, Dex.  I don’t think people nowadays would appreciate some guy dressed up like a Native American - which, by the way, is what they prefer to be called now - doing what you want him to do.  It’s demeaning and politically incorrect.  I don’t think that’s the kind of message we want to be sending out to all the families that come to the zoo today.

"What?!  It’s not like I want him walking around drunk on ‘fire water’ or anything.  And it’s not like I’m not sensitive to our non-American neighbors.  That’s why I didn’t go with my first thought; a Mexican.  I even had the outfit all picked out.  A sombrero and poncho.  Bandoleers.  Even a big black mustache.  But then I thought, with all the illegals in the neighborhood, maybe an Injun would go over a little more smoothly.  I just need