Bring Me the Horizon

By Jonny Tomahawk

What do Star Wars, Noah, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and tattoos have to do with investing? Everything. Master storyteller Jonny Tomahawk uses the experiences of everyday life to point to valuable lessons about how we all mismanage our wealth. Bring Me the Horizon quashes the status quo, and will force you to confront the very core of your beliefs by debunking the complexity of the investment world. Without an understanding of the basic, common-sense ground rules, we are all doomed to failure as investors. Bring Me the Horizon embodies the hope that, through the application and discipline of some simple tenets, you can live a happier and wealthier life. By demystifying the off-putting and often confusing jargon used in the world of investments, Tomahawk’s sense of humour takes the fear out of entering a once-forbidding world. Ultimately, when it comes to your future, there’s no time like the present. Isn’t it time you took control?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Jul 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483413259

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Copyright © 2014 Jonny Tomahawk.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-1324-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-1325-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014910296

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Tomahawk Illustration Copyright © 2014 Famos Designs

Editing by WriteCopy

Emu Plains LPO, PO Box 187, Emu Plains, NSW, 2750, Australia

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 07/09/2014

CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

Chapter 1    The Tattoo Correlation

Chapter 2    Lessons From Biggie Smalls (Aka The Notorious B.i.g.)

Chapter 3    Ideas, Ideas, Ideas

Chapter 4    Attack Of The Clones

Chapter 5    Hello Ninja Turtles – Meet Astroboy!

Chapter 6    Well, Looks Like We Got Ourselves A Readah!

Chapter 7    Communication Cataclysm

Chapter 8    You Can’t Eat Your Relatives, Unless You’re A Cannibal!

Chapter 9    What Would Russell Crowe Do?

Afterword

For my wife and daughter

FOREWORD

When Bring Me The Horizon first hit my inbox, I had no idea of what to expect.

Jonny Tomahawk had positioned the book as a simple guide to tackling the complexity of investing using humour and pop culture. The goal? To empower the average person with the understanding, knowledge and ability to pro-actively grapple with their financial destiny. In that regard, Jonny Tomahawk combines his love for pop culture and investing in an easily-readable format that is appropriate for both beginners and investment professionals alike. Drawing comparisons with such wide-ranging topics as tattoos, Star Wars, dune buggies and Astroboy, he concisely explains and demonstrates twelve vital rules of investing to follow for a lifetime of financial success and security for a comfortable retirement.

My personal favourite? The chapter on air travel and cannibals – it is a marvellous story that debunks the concept of volatility as risk. This alone is well worth the price of admission.

James B. Rosenwald III, CFA

Co-founder, Dalton Investments LLC

Adjunct Professor of Finance NYU Stern School of Business

PREFACE

"United, we’ll fail.

Divided we’ll fall.

Give up, ‘cause you’re makin’ it so much worse."

Antivist Bring me the Horizon

The world of investments has become an incredibly complex place. Under the bombardment of jargon and the litany of documentation thrown down on us by market participants and regulators, is it any wonder the average Joe on the street is befuddled, bamboozled and bewildered? Terms such as alpha, beta, sigma, omega, delta, vega, lamda, rho (pretty much every Greek letter), carry, drawdown, Sortino ratio, Calmar Ratio, Sharpe ratio, Treynor Ratio, skewness, kurtosis, VaR, conditional VaR, scenario testing, gross, net, long, short, leverage, hedge ratio, etc, serve to overwhelm and confuse. The industry has spent millions (if not billions) of dollars selling you their capabilities and marketing how well they will invest your money, but very seldom do they explain why.

The fabled Greek philosopher Aristotle once described the modes of persuasion in rhetoric as ethos, pathos and logos. It was his belief that in order to persuade you needed to validate your credentials or authority (ethos), be empathetic and appeal to your audience’s emotions (pathos), and use data and logic (logos). The investment world has taken to these modes of persuasion with vitriol. But what is the belief? What is the goal? Why do you invest?

With the ‘why’ element unanswered, us lowly investors are left jaded by outsized pay packets and a misalignment of interests. In part, this arises from the fact that the ‘why’ is lost in ethos, pathos and logos. It is my perspective that we invest to improve our long-term wealth, provide for our families and save for our retirement. The ‘why’ is not a return target or your annual bonus.

Contrary to Aristotle I thought it was important to discredit my credentials before you start to read this book. I am not a multimillionaire, and I am not a war-torn hedge fund veteran that has shredded management teams and restructured organisations for gazillions of dollars. I do not own a jet, a house in the Hamptons, or ski in Gstaad every winter. I am, however, an astute observer.

Throughout my brief career in the investment field I have encountered hundreds of the finest investors in the world. I have worked for some of the brightest minds in the business, partnered with firms on behalf of clients, and been fortunate to socialise on a personal level with a wide range of market operators. I am fortunate to make a good living and, like most of my peers, I squander most of this wealth, attempting to invest what is left over. For the most part I do this hopelessly, clearly not well-equipped to understand my own failings as a human. I have made tons of mistakes, lost small fortunes and muddled my way through my entire adult life.

I am only starting to get my head around this so-called business of investing, and it has struck me that almost everything the ‘industry’ tells me is wrong; we are being set up to fail.

This book’s intention is to try and reclaim some common sense and illustrate that among the sea of jargon and data, you can succeed and achieve your long-term goals. It was always my intention to use humour and pop culture to elucidate investing and, in that regard, it is not to be taken too seriously. My aim, though, is to point out some of the regular (and far too often) failings stumbled upon through these wide and diverse experiences. It is intentionally short; people should be able to read this book in a few hours, or enjoy a chapter every now and again on the train (or better yet, on the toilet!). You can read it in any order. This book will