Slave to Love: The Heart Has Its Reasons

By Romay Nasir

This is not a "Love Story" but a Story
about Love and Life.


When our bodies are at height, we encounter a place of serenity and nothing matters but love!

The obsession of her lover drove them apart; Forcing Jewel to run from the overwhelming passion that took her whole adulthood to overcome.......

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Dec 5, 2015
• ISBN: 9781483440453

Book preview

closure!!!

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I’d met Faisal at age twelve. He was chosen to be my future husband. We first started spending time together at age seventeen, while I was still a student at the university. Faisal always understood me well. To this day, I have no clue what I did or even how I did it for that matter, but Faisal remained weak and besotted where I was concerned. He was a tower, the most powerful looking man I’d ever seen.

When we met again after so many years, it was at a party at the Don Carlos Hotel in Marbella, Spain. I’d spent the whole afternoon getting ready in my hotel room, preparing myself for our meeting. They hadn’t seated me at his table, but I decided to move my place card to a table closer to his. I wanted to see if he would recognize me. At the buffet, trying to decide what to eat, I got lost at seeing everything so nicely and beautifully laid out, like you did not want to touch anything at all. I could feel him standing behind me. My Queen is here, I’ve noticed! I could hardly breathe. The back of my neck was hot with his breath, and sensing him so close, I walked away without turning to face him. I was too afraid to look. Watching him from my table was as brave as I dared to be. I left that night without saying a word to him.

I spent the next two days in Puerto Banus, lying on the beach and just hanging out with my friends. I had come with two friends from Cape Town who were at university with me on holiday, having fun together. Although I received invitations from Faisal to come and see him, I never did and returned to Cape Town. I was trained to keep my man captive and I knew he was thinking about me! Wondering!

Eventually, I answered one of his many phone calls. It was late August and I had just turned eighteen when I accepted his ticket to fly to Cairo, Egypt. I arrived at his apartment on Yusef Drive, but he wasn’t there yet. I always had my own suite whenever we travelled together, so I retreated to it. I had dinner by myself, sitting in the first seat at the right-hand side of the table. It would be my place from then on, by my husband’s side as head of the table. The apartment was quiet with only the sounds of Jamaal coming and going, bringing me my food and checking on what else I might require. Jamaal was the cook and housekeeper. I sat in the salon, watching the news and following some quiz programs on TV, when he brought me tea and a message that Faisal would be arriving late, so I went to bed. Apparently he had checked in my room, but I was asleep.

I had breakfast at nine-fifteen, usually the same time each morning and then went out shopping. A sunglasses shop up the road was as far as I got, since I was fetched out of there and escorted back to the apartment. Faisal was in his dressing gown, sitting in the sunroom reading the newspaper when I was brought to him. It took him awhile to look up at me and I expected anger, but he was calm, as he asked me What do you think you are doing? I just answered, Bite me! and walked off to my suite.

About half an hour later I rang the intercom, and Muhammad, Faisal’s personal guard answered, so I asked him to tell Faisal to come see me. It took all of ten minutes before he finally knocked at my door, to glance in the mirror and make sure I looked good enough to receive him. I answered to come in and simply just said, Hello! I didn’t know I was going to say that, but that’s what came out. It was the first time I’d really looked at him. He was so good looking! He made me nervous and I had to concentrate on what I would do or say next. So I asked him to ‘dance’ with me! We stood there with our arms around each other, moving, but without music.

I had no idea how long we stayed that way, but neither of us let go or said anything at all. We just breathed. I could smell him and in a daze felt his body move. He finally picked me up and put me into bed, kissing me on the forehead, my cheek and then ‘bit’ me on my neck. Shocked, I asked him what he was doing and he said, You asked me to bite you. Isn’t that what you wanted? He left my room and I couldn’t wait till morning. But what I didn’t know at the time was, that there was no morning with him. I awoke rather early to the Belaal ‘Bungs’ in my ear for morning prayer from the nearby mosque, and had breakfast by myself, which would become a normal thing.

My guide arrived at ten-thirty to collect me for a day trip suggested by Faisal’s travel agent. Faisal himself had arranged everything the night before, since he’d apparently gone out for business after leaving me, and only returned in the early hours of the morning. He rose at two in the afternoon and then took an hour to read the paper, shower and dress. We had lunch at four o’clock every day with different guests each time. Wakeem, my guide for the day and I, left with my driver for Giza. He excitedly explained everything to me and told the camel guide if I fell off, he would break his arm. I thought that was funny, so I just laughed.

Still today, I can visit Giza and feel awestruck in its presence. We went shopping at a big marketplace and then he took me to the most fantastic shop I still order sheets from. They had the most exquisite cotton and hand-embroidered linens and tablewear. I bought sheets and pillowcases in every color they had, and some tablecloths and wall hangings. I found it hard to leave, but Wakeem started hurrying me along since he was told to have me home before four o’clock.

The conceirge quickly opened the door for me, while the porters got the bags together and took them up. He asked about my visit to Cairo and mentioned the museums, but I was more interested in finding antiques and silver while there. When I stepped out of the lift on the twentieth floor, Muhammad was already standing at the door waiting to greet me. I went to my suite to shower and changed for lunch and on my way back, could hear people already talking! The men were all seated at the table, so Faisal got up and came toward me. He stood in front of me and as I looked up at him, he very quickly and unexpectedly grabbed me by the neck and kissed me!! I felt dizzy, and it lasted so long before I could finally breathe.

He said, ‘Hello,’ seated me, and returning to his chair, resumed his conversation. I looked around the table at the offerings some of his associates had brought from their wives, and received my first gift from Abdul Azis’ wife. Yards of four different kinds of fabric. They were so beautiful. Faisal rubbed my hand over the table from time to time, and I knew he wanted me to feel at ease. They mostly talked business. I listened and paid attention to everything said and discreetly studied everyone there without being obvious by staring.

I spent the next two days after our lunch curled up on the sofa talking to Faisal. He could be so serious, but I enjoyed his depth and witty intellect. He questioned me a lot about my school and friends, especially the males, since most of my friends were usually older men. I preferred them, since they were always more encouraging and supportive. Unbeknownst to any of us, he would be eliminating them as the years went by. I’d arrived late Friday afternoon and was flying back Monday morning, so Sunday after our lunch we talked and had tea. As I lay nestled between the cushions on the sofa, he took my feet and began rubbing them. I ended up curled in his arms and felt very comfortable there.

Months would go by when we did not see each other, but kept in touch by phone. Occasionally, he would call me very late at night, frustrated that I could not come to see him. Sometimes, he would accuse me of spending too much time in the company of other men. It took a lot to convince him that we were all students and just friends. We scheduled our next visit and he decided that I would fly to Spain for my summer holiday. I had to run my itinerary past my father, so we fused the travelling plans to suit us all.

I went to England for a week to spend time with Dad and also to stock up on all the latest fashion trends. Time with him meant shopping, shopping and more shopping and yes, more shopping! I would get anything and everything I wanted. Sometimes I’d get mad when he would ask me, Will those be enough until our next trip? Like I needed to spend more of his money! I told my dad everything and usually took advantage of getting info and help with questions that needed answering. And yes, since when did I need to feel afraid to ask about things so personal, that Dad sometimes had to shake his head? But my goal was always to get the answers I needed. Off to Spain!

I arrived at Malaga airport and was collected by Muhammad. Faisal was restless, he said, so I called him from the car. The minute he heard my voice he said, Come! Just get here. Faisal’s villa was on Marbella Hill. Maria and her husband José welcomed me. They were caring for the property, house and entertainment. José also had to take guests to and from the airport. Like my father, Faisal too invited or allowed business associates to visit or stay at some of his holiday homes.

He discovered that I liked old movie classics and music, so he got all of my favourites he could possibly find. After leaving my bags in my suite, I washed up and Maria accompanied me to the room Faisal had turned into a home theatre for me. He was standing there, looking good enough to eat! His hair was short.

Did you join the army? I asked.

The Royal Navy, actually, he replied. We hugged and as always I had to fight for breath. He and I knew then, that this was going to be one intense relationship!

We spent the holiday meeting friends of his for lunch every afternoon, or dining at different restaurants. We went sailing and used every free moment together, getting to know each other and allowing our feelings to develop freely. I had the bad habit of crawling onto his lap and when I mentioned to my dad that sometimes Faisal had to carry me off to bed, he forbade him entering my bedroom. It left Faisal annoyed at me, since he thought I trusted him. And I did, but my father knew what we talked about and what we did since I’d always asked him what to do, or for advice. Faisal was much older, as I was twenty at the time and he twenty-nine.

My dad worried that he might get too wrapped up being alone with me, although the house was always full of people. There were servants and drivers and guards around all the time. Faisal never used his kitchen, since it was for the staff and never carports, since the drivers were there. But I explored everything, and could always ask different ones about his habits and things I had to get used to. Since I was never allowed to go out with him at night when he attended his business meetings, I had him cancel one of them.

I was on holiday and felt like going dancing. So, I went into his bedroom to talk to him. He had Maria come to straighten out his bed first and we both lay on top of it, each on his own side. I of course, jumped on my side of his bed while he stood there laughing. It was the first time I’d felt that comfortable. I lay on my side with my hand supporting my head, facing him, and he lay on his back with about three pillows under his head. He thought it strange that I was so open and forthcoming with my father about personal things, and tried to understand why I would still ask for advice. I wanted him to take me dancing, and would he cancel one of his late meetings. Then I asked him what were they doing anyway. He said, making money for you.

We talked about some of the investments and future deals he was venturing into. He was very interested in how I saw him and what I expected from him. After finally deciding on which night would be easiest for him to cancel, we went to the club. We started off with one in a little place in Fuengirola, and after four different piano bars and dancing places, I was the only one dancing, since he never did, preferring just to watch me have fun. I realized his jealousy when men asked me to dance or were too close to me, and we went home at five in the morning, while most crazies went straight to the restaurants for breakfast.

While I removed my makeup, I sensed Faisal outside of my room, but didn’t immediately go out to look. I got into bed and after switching off my light, saw him pacing back and forth from under my door. After awhile, he called out my name. I got up to see what he wanted, wearing a long, champagne colored nightdress but forgot to put on my robe. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me hard against him. When I pushed him away, he put me up against the wall and towered over me!

What are you doing to me? he kept repeating. So I pushed him away from me again. He grabbed a hold of me and said, Hit me!

What?

Hit me! he said again, so I slapped him and ran into my room.

I went for midday tea at the invitation of some of Faisal’s friends’ wives and returned before lunch, since I always had to be back to have lunch with him, unless we were out together. The house was noisy when I arrived. They were playing darts on the porch and a table for eleven people was set up outside. All the nice smells of food were making me hungry, so I hurried to change and went outside to greet everyone. Faisal was so happy to see me and so gentle when he kissed me. When we sat down to eat, were joined by an unexpected guest; Nazeer, Faisal’s secretary. We had only spoken on the phone when I’d call Faisal’s apartment in Jidda, so it was nice to finally put a face to the voice. Nazeer was brought in to discuss my dowry with me, and that was also the day I received my first piece of jewelry from Faisal. A few times during lunch he had dropped his arm and put his hand out under the table to touch me, wanting me to put my hand in his. I couldn’t quite make out what was going on with him, but he was attentive and extremely gentle. After lunch, I accompanied Nazeer to the study and twice Faisal looked in on us while we were talking. I realized that it made Nazeer rush, and I was finally free to get away from all that serious nonsense I did not like. How many pieces of jewelry would I be needing anyway, I wondered?

I went to my own private retreat and got rid of all my fancy trimmings and jewels. I bound my long hair up into a ponytail with a scarf. Why did I have this huge Indian divan if I couldn’t spread myself out all over it? So, that’s exactly what I did and watched ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s.’ It wasn’t long before Faisal found me, accompanied by two snifter glasses and a decanter of brandy! We sipped brandy and ate chocolates while we relaxed together, watching the movie.

He turned to look at me and said, I see you’re not wearing any jewels.

I removed them, I chuckled.

So, wear these instead, and he handed me a red long box.

I opened it and gasped at the magnificent set of diamonds and pearls. I couldn’t resist, they were simply beautiful! Just seeing his face explained so much of what I’d seen in him all day. I don’t know if it was the brandy or ‘Casablanca’ at the time or even my beautiful jewels, but we fell asleep on the divan. I woke up in the early hours of the morning and fetched a blanket to put over him and then went to bed. He must have gone to bed as well because when I woke up after nine, he wasn’t in the theatre room anymore.

Our time together was just lovely for the rest of the holiday. I just always had to make sure I did not give him any reason to get jealous. We spent the next day lazing beside the pool, and as usual there were always guests, but I was thankful when they were all asked to leave after lunch. The staff got the afternoon off and I could fall asleep in my bathrobe on the seat outside with him next to me. Making out with Faisal meant that your lips were numb at the end of the day because he kissed you so long and so hard. He got very aggressive, all passion and absolutely intense. I began to worry about being so close to him, and after that I spent less time alone with him at night, retreating to my room earlier. I often heard him out in the hallway though.

Curling up into a bundle on his lap had become a habit and so that’s what I did when I found him in the living room reading his newspapers. I thanked him for my jewelry.

"You are my Jewel!" he said. So, from then on he called me, ‘My Jewel of the East.’

We’d been together for a week, when he announced that my dad would be arriving. I didn’t know if I should be happy or nervous. The latter was right because my dad was concerned about the level of interest that had developed between us. I wanted to confirm the trust between Faisal and him, and couldn’t believe how well the two of them were getting along, always laughing! I hoped that it would calm Faisal down, since I had only my dad to confide in. Eventually Faisal would become that to me, my husband, friend and confidant. Since women were not allowed to accompany men late at night or when they met with other businessmen, they went out together on their own for the next few nights and my dad left, thinking all was well and would end well. He had stressed that he was concerned our level of intimacy could overpower us, but then, so was I! We had a talk before he left, my father wanting to know what kind of husband I saw Faisal to be, and by then I’d already realized I would have to be available to him almost around the clock. I spent the rest of the holiday studying his habits, interests, comings and goings, friends and business interests. What he liked to do and when, how he liked things done, making a point of taking the mail to him, to query my duties as to which invitations I could accept and discussing our social life. Not everyone accepts all invitations offered, so I wanted to know which events he would be interested in attending. It’s very important to be happy with, or at least be able to bear the people in your company. Faisal didn’t like lots of noise, but he loved to have familiar faces around him. He also didn’t seem to care what his friends thought, if he wanted to spend time alone with me. He loved the fact that I was affectionate with him, even in front of his friends. They called me ‘Faisal’s little girl.’ I think it was because I’d crawl into his lap. We both liked to read, and I would often take along a book, sitting quietly next to him, so when he offered to put some music on one afternoon, I said ‘Maria Callas.’ He sat next to me on the beautiful blue settee and pulled my head down onto his lap as we listened to that amazing voice which could take you to another place in time.

It was cold, so we spent most nights at home, but always had people coming and going. Since I had no friends with me or in Spain at the time, I had to be content with all his men friends and so I started playing darts or other board games with them. They soon tired of showing me the games and losing to me. Don’t show her anything! Faisal kept warning them, but I had fun and made them laugh. Faisal on the other hand, would lay back always watching me. Excusing myself to go to bed, he just lifted his eyes and as I walked past him, had a big grin on his face. I drew my bath and rang for Jamaal to put some sherry in my room. I’d been longing for a hot bath all day, and although it’s always nice to visit Spain, it was cold and we might have rain, I thought. Getting into the bath, I lay there forever, thinking about our day and feeling good. I had positive feelings about Faisal, and wondered if we should have kissed goodnight. Hearing my bedroom door open, I told Jamaal to just put the sherry next to my bed. He didn’t say anything and left. Closing my eyes, I wanted to fall asleep right there. The water was so warm, I could have easily disappeared into my thoughts. But I had to get out before I did fall asleep! I took my time moisturizing, applied my facial massage mask and cleansed and moisturized, continuing all the way down to the bottom of my feet. Flossing and brushing my teeth, I finished my ritual by brushing my long hair one hundred strokes. I perfumed and finally slipped into my long silk nightie, having chosen silver-gray and put the matching gown over it. I sipped some of my sherry, and as I walked out of the bathroom, saw Faisal sitting on the chair in my room.

Is that how long you take to bathe? he asked.

It takes time to be a woman, I replied.

Very well, he said, why are you going to bed so early? Are you tired? he wanted to know.

Not really I said.

So let’s talk, and he sat on the opposite side of the bed.

Where’s everyone? I asked, Did they leave?

I don’t think so, he said, and asked if I wanted to see anyone.

So I said, No!

Okay then, I’m sure they can find their own way out.

I got onto the bed and sat there waiting to see what he was going to do. He kept his eyes on me as he sat down. I was trying to read him, wondering what he was thinking.

Are you afraid? he asked, and I said, No! He lay down on his side facing me, asking me to do the same. We faced each other for awhile, then suddenly he asked, Are you happy?

Yes, thank you. Then he asked if he could take my hand. I offered it and he kissed the fingers gently, then my palm and up my arm. Suddenly, he jerked me towards him so hard that I gasped for breath. We kissed for what seemed like a long time, then he just held me in his arms and I started crying.

I don’t know what the hell you do to me, he kept whispering in my ear and let me go. I lay there motionless and listened to him walk out of my room. It took some time for me to compose myself, and I ran to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water. I didn’t know what to think, except that it was a mistake being in that house with him. I didn’t know what I’d done to made him react towards me the way he did. We were getting to know each other, but I was not willing to marry him if I had no clue, not knowing if we would be good for each other. Right now I thought, he was driving me crazy! As I sat on my bed and finished my sherry, I decided to be brave and knocked on his door. He answered and asked me in, wearing silk pyjamas and a robe. So I asked him what he wanted! Why did he want to spend so much time with me, if he couldn’t control himself? It was obvious that I liked him, but he was scaring me. So he asked again, Are you afraid? And I said, No! because I wasn’t afraid as in thinking he would hurt me, but I felt confused. I had no idea what was going on between us, but I went into his open arms. As he carried me to his bed, he whispered, Trust me! I had no idea why, but I did. I fell asleep, comforted by his arms around me. I felt safe. I woke up in the morning, very conscious of the fact that I’d slept in his bed. Faisal was fast asleep, so I went back to my room. Oh no, no, no! Who on earth was going to believe that nothing happened? I panicked and started packing. My dad was going to kill me! My dad was going to kill him! I went down the stairs. The house was quiet, but I heard noises from the kitchen, so I called a taxi and took my bags outside.

When the taxi came, I literally ran to it not even sure if I’d taken everything or not. We’d passed through Marbella when I told the driver, To the airport, please. As we passed Fuengirola towards Torremolino, I wondered where I would go, and if I could get a flight out immediately. When the taxi stopped at Malaga airport, I flew out like someone about to miss their plane and ran into the terminal with my bags. I couldn’t get a flight to Cape Town, so I inquired about one to London, but the earliest I could get was to Switzerland, so I bought a ticket.

I had just finished paying for it, when I saw Muhammad walking towards me, his stern face telling me to come with him.

I said, No and he replied, I have instructions to carry you out of here, if I have to. Are you coming quietly or do I take you by force?

So I ran and him after me. The security stopped him and he told them, This is Prince Faisal’s fiancè. She’s not allowed to leave, and those idiots let me go! He led me by my arm out of the airport to where the driver stood at the open car door and let me in, taking me back to the house. I went to my room and wanted to die because I did not want to face Faisal. I stayed there all day and never went to lunch even though I could hear voices and music, and Faisal never came to see me either.

A knock on my door and Jamaal asked permission to enter. I don’t need anything, I answered back, but he insisted that I had to have something to eat or he’d be in trouble, so I allowed him to enter.

Oh, Miss, he said, Please eat something, and don’t be unhappy. Tomorrow you’ll feel better, and offered me some brandy. He left and I drank two or three glasses, but didn’t eat anything and just went off to bed, giggling all by myself, sleeping until the next afternoon.

I couldn’t believe I’d slept so late, and went to find Jamaal since I was starving. I walked into the living room and saw the driver sitting there, waiting for me. He handed me an envelope containing ten thousand dollars and a white card, which read, ‘Go shopping’ It was signed, ‘Faisal.’ I had my favourite, freshly squeezed orange juice and some fruit salad and left with my driver for the day, José. He took me to all the popular stores and introduced me to some of the shop girls who helped me find the latest fashion trends and styles available. I had the most exciting couple of hours.

Then José said he had to get me to the hotel on time and we left. I walked through the lobby of this beautiful hotel and saw Faisal and four other men sitting in the cozy waiting area. As I walked towards them, he saw me and came to greet me. May I talk to you? he asked and led me to a more secluded area. We sat down. Are you okay? Yes I was! He came closer to me, kneeling down and dropped his head on my lap. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t angry! When he looked up at me, he took my face in his hands and simply said, I love you. I couldn’t answer him and just stared back, completely lost for words. Joining the others, I was introduced to an Estate Agent and the other three who were businessmen, dividing their time between Britain and the Middle East.

Most people were surprised at my intellect, especially when they found out I was still a student. But for the first time in a long while, I could actually have a conversation with other people and express my views. I learned that day, that Faisal was looking into acquiring a ranch in Texas sometime in the future. Sadiq, Hussein, and Ali, his business associates, were living in London and were all seeking investment opportunities in Spain. The festivities and high spirits were evident, so we discussed party possibilities for New Year’s Eve.

Since everyone went to parties, Faisal thought that I should decide. Later that evening, as we sat in front of the fireplace drinking red wine, Faisal mentioned he’d been in touch with my father and had promised him he would never take advantage of me. Then he’d asked him to be allowed to handle the situation himself. He explained how difficult it was for him, wanting so badly to be with me in every way possible, but also understanding what it was like for me. It was important to him that I knew I could trust him, and whatever happened, it would come from me.

Then he firmly told me, Never, ever, run out on me again! Understood? I was listening to him, but constantly thinking about what he’d said being in love with me, and couldn’t get it out of my mind. I didn’t respond and couldn’t say anything to him. I went through all the invitations and accepted the Costume Ball, asking Faisal what he’d be dressing up as. He thought we’d look great as the ‘Sultan and Sultana.’ I booked a seamstress and within days, her two assistants arrived to measure us for costumes. I was so excited and could hardly contain myself.

Faisal sent a message once I was done to come see him. I went into the living room, but he wasn’t there so while I waited, I decided to write some notes and postcards to friends. I was sure he would have paper and pens in the drawing room, and looked for them in some of the drawers. I opened a drawer in a small French table and saw two blue velvet boxes. As quickly as I had opened it, I closed it again and hoped no one would think I had been snooping. I hate snooping! Why had I looked in there anyway? Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice that I had gone through his drawers and I wondered if he would understand I was only looking for something to write with.

Back in the living room, Faisal was waiting for me. Where were you hiding? he asked, and I said, Snooping!

Did you find anything interesting? he teased. Not yet! I teased back and kissed him. I asked him for some pens and notepaper, so he pointed to his study. Where are you going? he asked, stopping me as I went off. Come! Sit down! We sat next to each other and that grin on his face, made me wonder what was coming. I booked an appointment at the spa, he went on. I want you to have a ‘Ceremonial Bath’.

We headed off to the spa at six o’clock where seven girls were waiting for us. I saw a long lounge chair stacked with towels, a silver tray with perfume bottles and oils, and most importantly, champagne and glasses. I watched as he dropped his clothes and got into his white robe. As the girls began to undress me, Faisal poured champagne and offered me a glass. They brushed my hair, and put up a large chiffon veil on either side, to shield me from prying eyes on the outside. Then they led me to the water. Two stepped in first and stretched out their hands to guide me down the steps.

Feeling the warm water covering my hips, I was aware of Faisal on the other side of the bath. I moved my body further into the water to cover my breasts. The girls encircled me, washing my body with soft sponges. My hair floated on the water as I dropped my head to get it wet. Our eyes met, and for a moment his gaze locked with mine. My body relaxed and as I moved toward the edge of the bath, I was lifted over to the side and laid down. From top to bottom, my whole body was soaped and dreamily massaged, my hair washed and shampooed. As I turned my head, I caught sight of that famous grin but I was so absolutely in a dream world, like I was floating. I had no idea that they had finished shaving and had rinsed me off, but I awoke feeling surrounded by water. Rinsing my hair and pouring perfumed water over it and down my body, I was lifted out of the bath. Wrapped in towels, I lay down on the bench, feeling so relaxed. Two girls came to remove the towels and rubbed my body with oil. My hair was brushed and laid damp down my back. Two other girls came and sat me up. One placed a warm, white terry towel gown over my shoulders and I put my arms through the sleeves. I felt so comfortable.

Faisal came over, putting his arms around me. We had a couple of glasses of champagne and neither of us said anything at all, but just enjoyed the quiet, relaxing atmosphere. We had stools placed under our feet and both of us were pampered with hand and foot treatments. After hours of pampering, we went into the salon. I had an Irish Coffee and went off to get dressed. Faisal came to get me and we left for home. I could sleep like a log tonight, I thought. Faisal whispered into my neck, You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Did you like what you saw, then? I didn’t get a reply, only that grin. As we came up the driveway, he told me Jamaal would be leaving to go back to Cairo in a few days. So get all your favourite dishes out of him, I was told. He’d brought Jamaal for the holiday special friends’ entertainment. Maria wasn’t very impressed, since we loved her cooking too, but Faisal had so many friends familiar with Jamaal’s food, so Maria was happy to have a few free days! I went into my theatre since I felt so lazy, and took some blankets and stretched out. My dear Jamaal came in with a long flat table.

What are you doing, ‘Darling?’ He got so embarrassed and oh, so shy when I called him that.

He chuckled and said, Food for you.

Don’t forget my sherry! I called after him. I had decided to watch ‘Return to Eden’ and got comfy. All the wonderful smells of food were overwhelming me, but it was what followed that was surprising. Jamaal left and Faisal said, Hello!

Aren’t you going out?

No, he said, "Is it okay for me to want to spend the evening with you? We ate, and he had brandy. I like to relax with sherry on a cold night and I was so into the movie, that I never noticed my sleepy date. He really was gorgeous! He had facial hair, but it was so neatly trimmed and his hair was so soft. I rubbed my feet down his legs and kicked his slippers off, covering him with a blanket. I thought I would leave him to sleep, so when the movie finished I slid off the seat and sat on his side but as I got up to leave, he grabbed my arm, and told me to stay.

I thought you were asleep.

No, just resting, he said. That night our madness began!

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I never moved a muscle as he removed my clothes. I did not say or respond with any protest as he pulled me down next to him. He kissed my hair and my face as if he were doing it inch by inch. I couldn’t move! Down my neck and my arm. I just felt warm as he moved over my body, kissing every single part of me.

I heard him say, Look at me! as he sat at the bottom of the seat with my feet in his hands, kissing my toes. I could feel his breath on my feet, his tongue moving up my legs! Why couldn’t I scream at him to stop? When he parted my legs, I began shaking uncontrollably, like a leaf, so that he pulled me up into his arms and just held me tightly. I could hear him say, it’s okay! When I was able to, I pulled myself out of his arms and fled to my room. I couldn’t get under the covers quickly enough and just wouldn’t stop crying. I heard Faisal outside and kept saying to myself, Please, don’t let him come in.

Almost as if he could hear me, I repeated, Go away, please go away! But my voice was faint, and I was so thankful when he did. I don’t know how long I lay there, but eventually I managed to fall asleep. In the morning I couldn’t drag myself out of bed to go for breakfast. So I just lay there. My intercom rang, but I never answered.

Noon came and went. Finally, I got up to have a bath. As I allowed the water to engulf me, my mind cleared, and that’s when all my years of training came to the forefront. I felt empowered and all the vulnerability was gone. I dressed and left my room, going to the theatre room first, but my clothes were gone and everything looked as if no one had ever been there, so I went to find Maria. She offered to set dinner out for me, but I couldn’t eat.

Where was Faisal was all I was interested in.

In his study with people, she said, so I went to find him. I didn’t knock, just opened the door and asked them to leave.

When no one responded, I raised my voice and said, Leave!

Faisal asked them to wait in the living room and then turned his attention to me. I walked towards him, flung my arms around his neck and kissed him, like I was never going to let go. When I did, I pushed him away and slapped him across the face. He pulled me towards him so hard I thought he was going to snap my back! But I pushed him away again, and left the room.

As I passed by the men in the living room, I said, By all means, Gentlemen, continue!

I pretty much avoided him for days. After our lunch, I would go to my room, write letters and postcards to friends, listen to music and lay around for hours reading! I’d hear him pausing outside my room at night, thinking about him and missing him. I couldn’t help wishing sometimes, he would come to see me, but I knew he’d never invade my privacy!

Maria rang the Wednesday afternoon. Our costumes had arrived for final fitting. I asked to have them sent to me and I did my fitting in my room. My costume was breathtaking. I could get lost in imagination and started looking forward to the party on Saturday. Most nights, Faisal was out very late with the guys and I was no longer aware of him outside my door as I slept.

On Friday, early evening, Faisal sent for me. He was concerned about my being so quiet, but I assured him that I was fine. He wanted to know if I wanted to go out, but I didn’t and inquired about his plans for the evening. He was going to stay in as well and I bid him goodnight and went to bed, reading.

Saturday morning after breakfast, I went out with José who drove me to some stores in Puerto Banus. When we returned, our costumes had arrived. I requested a snack for lunch and had some Sangria sent to my room, spending the afternoon grooming and pampering myself. The hairdresser arrived just after seven o’clock, rolling my hair since I needed curls and I began to apply my makeup. Deciding to rest up a bit before getting dressed, I slipped into bed, carefully lying down so as not to