Gifted Saviour

By Jude Ainaki

I wrote this right after I applied for my refugee claim in Canada. My boyfriend had left for a job offer in Saskatchewan for three months and left me in his house in Ontario with his two roommates.
I love them dearly and they have greatly eased my journey.
My boyfriend had shown me that through hardship, nothing mattered as long as you had the people that loved you around you.
He showed me that suicide was not the answer.
He showed me that life is and always will be worth living.
I am at risk of deportation and I fear he will leave me. Despite my outrageous paranoia, I will view the time I had spent with him as a true rebirth. He has made me feel worthy of breathing earth's air. He has held me tight as I cried my heart out at my misfortunes and ill circumstances.
I will always look back at the time we spent together as one well spent. I regret none of my decisions.
I greet you with an alternative to a perfect ending to a perfect time period, no matter how brief.

For my heart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Feb 14, 2016
• ISBN: 9781329903418

Book preview

Gifted Saviour

Jude Ainaki

Into the deepest dark end, we tread.

Contents

Drugged Up in November

Purse Lipped Photographs

Lifeblood of the Hollow-eyed

Songbird of the Sorrow

The Radical World in my Bones

Crouch Beneath the Mountains behind Your Eye Sockets

Spirit of the Desolate

A Transcendence to Rule Them All

Empathize with the Sorrow

Drugged Up in November

Would you like to go back with me to November?

Sprawled on the bed, limbs comfortably intertwined, gentle heaving. You’d always cower away when you felt you got too deep into my eyes. I couldn’t strip mine off yours. So elegant and tender on the inside, absolutely graceful. And then I take a step back to admire the creases and the curves, the corners and the turns. I’d peer into them every time you’d let me, even when you covered them up. I’d push your hand aside. What a window.

"Why are you hiding such glory