Mom's Quiz

By Sean Bechtold

Written to inspire empathy towards the planet we inhabit, Mom's Quiz will elicit tears for many reasons, happy and sad, and give readers pride in our species since, at the end of the day, we're all people living on Earth and need to move towards human unity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 21, 2019
• ISBN: 9781794806153

Book preview

Mom's Quiz

Mom’s Quiz

Fore

A friend asked me to put this together for her since she specializes in shorter efforts. Poems, lyrics, stuff like that, although her murals can be quite epic. Her only request was that she be referred to as Penny throughout, because she never thought she'd amount to much.

This story is emotive. You've been forewarned.

Penny was casting the chilly waters at The Point in Pittsburgh last winter, hoping to reel in some fresh material from the stream of consciousness and its sometimes dangerous undercurrents, when she heard a loud voice boom her name across the rivers. She looked around for boats anchored nearby that may have had fancy sound systems with cabinet speakers, but all she saw was one lonely tugboat pushing a few barges upstream. She surveyed the park behind her for pranksters with cameras but there wasn't anyone else in site.  I guess I'm imagining things, she sighed aloud.

No you're not she was told. I've been waiting for this day up for a very long time.

Who is that, she demanded while craning her neck through the bare trees in the park.

It's your mother.

That's not funny, asshole.  My mom's been dead for almost ten years now.

You don't have to tell me, I know. I've been watching you for a while. I'm not your biological mom though. I'm your mom in the larger sense.

Yeah right. You don't even sound like a woman.

This is Mother Earth, darling. I'm huge. What would you have me sound like, Mike Tyson?

I don't know what the hell's going on here, mister, but you've got the wrong girl. I ain't one to play with.

Oh I know. That's exactly what makes you the right girl. You don't take shit from anybody. That's key. It’s totally necessary. Do you have any idea what your aura looks like?  You're positively glowing.

My aura?! Git the hell out of here.  There ain't no such thing, man. You're talking nonsense.

You perceive things the way you like, and I'll do the same. That's fair, right? I'm telling you the truth though - you're a shining light in a dark world. You couldn't be any brighter if you were filled with neon, flashed Heineken, and lured people into bars. You're the right girl all right. No doubt about it.

"Well, gee. Thanks, dude. You're such a smooth talker. Should I just take my pants off now? Or are you working some other angle with all of this bullshit?

No bullshit. I promise.

Billy!! Is this you, Billy?! Who put you up to this? Lord knows you ain't smart enough to come up with something this involved on your own. I swear, man, I'm going to slap the shit out of you when I found out where you're hiding.

Relax, little one. Your ex doesn't have anything to do with this.

Really? Then how do you know Billy is my ex-boyfriend?

I get around, baby. I even know how you two met. It comes from billions of years of experience. Not much escapes my notice in this sector of the Galaxy. Especially when I think it's important. And you, my little burst of sunshine? You're about as important as it gets right now. That's why I've been watching you for so long, ever since your aura invited me to pay attention. It's practically doing jumping jacks.  ‘Over here.  Look at this one.  She has a golden heart.’

Little old me? Well, I do declare, Penny mocked with a flirtatious wave of her hand before she picked up her pencils, sketchbook, and notepad to stuff them into her saddle bag. You flatter me, sir. I still think you're full of shit, though. In fact, you know what, I'm out of here. You're a fuckin' dick head, whoever you are.

No. Wait. Please. Don't go.

Why? Because there's no one else around to make a viral video about? Too damn bad. I ain't your chump.

"No. Please! I need this. You need this."

Need what? A ticket to the funny farm for yelling at the sky?

I'm being honest with you, darling. We need to talk. You're finally ready, mentally, and society is in the right place, too.  This is the right time.

Time? It's almost 11:30. Now go fuck yourself.

Seriously. I'm begging you. Please stay with me. Please-please.

Ain’t happening.

At least give me a chance to prove who I am.

How are you gonna do that?

Ask me anything you want.

Anything?

Of course.

Anything at all?

Whatever your little heart desires. With one word of caution - be careful what you ask. I promise not to mislead you, but there may be a few things you really don't want to know about.

Like what?

Well, my opinion of mankind is pretty low at the moment, so you might want to steer away from that topic.

That hit home with Penny. You wouldn't be able to tell from her happy-happy art, but she hasn't been all that impressed with what her life has shown her either. She's an open-minded free spirit, an adventurer with no fear who actually took a knife from a would-be rapist once and didn't stab the guy with it. So the chance to talk with Mother Earth had a certain appeal to it before her curiosity was peaked. It was a reversal of what she'd set out to do that day - she was the one who got hooked, by the stream of consciousness. Still, she's sharper than a Damascus blade, so she wanted proof she wasn't being jerked around. She asked that her own secrets be revealed. Things she knew for sure nobody else knew.  Okay, tough guy. I accept your challenge. Tell me where I used to go when I was little and I got really upset about something.

Are we talking about something you did after the age of nine? I wasn't paying attention before that.

Mostly, yeah.

Then that's an easy one. You used to run off to the woods, usually with tears streaming down your face. You'd race down the street, ignoring your parents whenever they called after you, run across the ball field, climb that rusty old fence at the far end, and disappear into the brush. You had a favorite tree, a tall sycamore that had been blown over during a windstorm. You'd sit under its root system, which was packed with dirt, and write in the journal you stashed in the hole a colony of ants had gnawed into its trunk. That place was your little hideaway. Your safe place where nobody bothered you. You'd put your journal out of its Ziploc freezer bag and pour your heart into it until you got your feelings straightened out. You went there all of the time.  I don't know how many journals you kept over the years, but I can tell you they always had purple covers.

Huh. That's right.

I know. Your mom used to read them too, I'll bet you didn't know that.

"Did she?"

Oh yeah. She followed you once. You aren't one to look over your shoulder very often, are you?

What for? I ain't scared.

"Indeed.  You're such the right girl.  Anyhow, after she discovered your happy place, she'd just let you go, then go down there herself a little bit later, or the next day, and read your entries."

That explains a lot, actually. She knew things she shouldn't have known. I always thought that was part of the old You Can't Fool Mom thing.

Some cliches are one-hundred percent true. Same with stereotypes. Most of them, though, were only based on a fact or two then embellished with rumors and innuendo until they devolved into myths. You Can't Fool Mom, though?  That one's the truth.  It's my favorite, too.

Imagine that. Listen, do you follow everyone around like this? I mean, that's kind of creepy man.

Oh no. Not at all. I might see a lot, but I ignore most of it. The minutiae would drive me nuts. Like I said though, I've been paying particular attention to you since I spotted your aura on the horizon, shining like sunrise.

Maybe I should check my six more often.

Check your what?

My six. Penney lobbed a thumb over her shoulder. It's pilot talk.  It means look behind me.

Oh, okay. I thought you said something else.

What?

Never mind.

No-no. what did you think I said? Check my six... sex! You thought I said check my sex, didn't you?

Well.

H-HA! Now that’s funny. No worries there. I'm all girl.

More like lady. You're twenty-two going on forty-eight, baby. You are a lot wiser than your years.

Well, thank you.

Not a problem.  I mean it, too.

Thanks again.  Let me ask you this - do you know where I used to take my little brother after family dinners on Saturday nights?

I do.

Well?

Ah.  My fault.  I thought that was all you wanted to know. I don't do this very often any more.  You used to take JT down to the old strip mine behind your house.  Weather permitting, of course.  The mine had filled up with water that shimmered a strange shade of blue, like crystals. It's beautiful at sundown, when that whole opening in the trees glows orange.

That's true.  Tell me, what did JT and I talk about while we were down there?

"That depended on the time of year, didn't it?   During winter, when it was usually dark, you talked about the Moon and the constellations most of the time. Whenever you were there while the Sun was going down, you discussed the clouds. JT like that best, by the way. He loved how the colors in the sky looked different reflecting off the water. During summer time, or whenever it was overcast, you two talked about the old mine and the mill and the water wheel on the creek. JT like that a lot too. He always imagined himself as one of the workers and you kept him busy pretending what he do if he was a miner or a millwright. You took away his limitations when you did that. You going to make a great mom one of these days.

Son of a bitch, Penny whispered before the last sentence could register with her.

What's wrong?  Don't you want to have any kids?

That ain't it.  And I'm not sure if I want kids or not.  But I didn't mean to say son of a bitch out loud.

Oh.  Okay.  And you should have kids.  At least one.  You'd be an incredible mother.

Thanks. You're right about what me and JT did, by the way. Tell me this then, and tell me the truth 'cause I'm kind of pissed off right now about how you hovered around me while I was growing up. Why didn't you help JT?

You mean on the day he died?

You know it.

What could I have done? Throw a stick in his spokes before you got to the pond? He had his mind made up. There was nothing I could have done to stop him even if I was there.

But you're everywhere. You could have talked to him, like you doing with me right now. You know he would have listened! All you had to do is stall for time. Penny's chest heaved. I wasn't more than 20 minutes behind him. I would have taken care of everything if you'd have given me a chance to get there.

"Look, honey. I'm just an observer. I've only been paying attention to you.  The only times I learned about your family was when they were around you. I didn't know what happened that day until you did. A little later, actually. I was taking care of my own business when I saw your aura charge red. It was blazing. At first, I thought I had a forest fire on my hands. By the time I got there you'd already brought JT back to the shore. You were squeezing JT to your neck and rocking back and forth, wailing. You were so hurt. It killed me. Do you remember how it drizzled for a few minutes? That wasn't natural, it didn't rain at all that day. It was me. I didn't know how to make you feel better though, and you were crying so hard, so I had to leave. Otherwise the rain would have just got worse.  And that wouldn't have helped at all.

"Once I composed myself, I didn't leave your side for weeks. That's why I know everything that happened that day.  I know it was the worst day of your life, and that's something you need to get over, baby. So I'm telling you this for your own good - JT's death wasn't your fault. You hear me? It wasn't your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself. There wasn't anything you could have done. Okay?!

I know you tried to stay home from school that day. You knew JT was always bursting with hope when he went to the doctors.  He always thought he was going to get some good news about his crooked spine. You knew that wasn't going to happen, so he'd be all broken up about it. You wanted to be there for him, to console him, because that's who you are. But your dad knew all of that, too.  That’s why he didn't fall for your story about having a scratchy throat that morning. He'd taught JT to act like a man no matter how bad he felt.  But he knew your little brother was despondent.  It's why he waited until the last second to get in the truck to pick you up from the school bus stop. It's why he burned tire in both directions too, especially on the way home after your bus was a couple of minutes late. JT just happened to have slipped out of the house when he got the opportunity.

Penny sniffed and was asked if she was alright. Yean, I’m fine.  Don’t worry about me.

"Okay.  Here's what you really need to understand, my darling little one. Your brother's despondency was overwhelming. He was past the point of being tired of the pain and suffering. He absolutely hated meeting new people because the looks in the adults eyes always seem to say, 'Aww, that's too bad. What a shame.'  Knowing that is what broke your dad.  It's why he pickled himself after the funeral.  JT was so strong though, he didn't break until the doctor explained what leukemia means. That was more than he could handle. Tough as he was, he couldn't see going through more tests, and more physical therapy, and possibly some chemotherapy, when he was most likely going to end up dead anyhow. So it wouldn't have mattered if you or me or your dad or anyone else had stopped him from drowning himself that day. The poor kid simply ran out of hope.  That's all there was to it. If you had managed to intervene and he hadn't killed himself that day, he would have done it the next day, or the following month. He was broken sweetie. People can't live without hope. Nothing - honestly baby - nothing you could have done would have changed that. So please... please stop beating yourself up about it. It was beyond your control."

Penny grabbed her face for the third time, and wiped hard. Then she took her leather jacket off so nothing disgusting leaked out of her nose onto it. I see, she stopped to choke back the tears. I see what you mean now, about not asking what I might not want to know.

Oh, honey.  I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's okay. I'm okay. And thank you.  If you could give me a minute, though.  I'd really appreciate it.

Take all the time you need.

She took a short walk to