Just Before You Say I Do!: Marriage and Relationship

By Emmanuel Akpan

Just Before You Say I Do! is a one stop shop for solutions to critical premarital issues singles are confronted with. It addresses the very foundation upon which connubial bliss can be built, attained and sustained. This book is your guard. Since marriage is not a contract but a covenant andGod hates divorce,one afford not to know the intricacies of marriage before saying "YES I DO" This book will helps you avoid marital pitfalls.
Just before you say I do, is a book for the engaged, yet to be engaged, youths and the about to wed. This material should also be a ready tool for marriage counseling committees of churches. This material is not just for the unmarried, I warmly recommend it to all married people and parents as a training tool forbringing their children up rightly with the required strong biblical base which this author has championed in JUST BEFORE YOU SAY I DO.
Among many other things in this book, you will be exposed to:
*The Challenges single People Face
*How to Control Your Sexual Urge
*The Secret and Test of Love
*What Marriage is and what it is not
*The Secrets of a Good Marriage
*How to Create the Atmosphere for Marriage
*Causes and Consequences Wrong Choices in Marriage
* Over 30 Causes of Delay in Marriage plus Questions that Young People are Asking
*AND MANY more

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9781716889912

Book preview

JUST BEFORE YOU

SAY I DO!

EMMANUEL N. AKPAN

*The Chal enges single People Face

*How to Control Your Sexual Urge

*The Secret and Test of Love

*What Marriage is and what it is not

*The Secrets of a Good Marriage

*How to Create the Atmosphere for Marriage

*Causes and Consequences Wrong Choices in

Marriage

*Over 30 Causes of Delay in Marriage plus

Questions that

Young People are Asking

*AND MANY more

(c) 2018 by Emmanuel N. Akpan

All right reserved:

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, duplicate, retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means mechanical, electronic, photocopy, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the copy right owner – Rev. Emmanuel N. Akpan.

ISBN: 978-978-969-338-2

For further information contact:

Rev. Emmanuel N. Akpan at Assemblies of God Nigeria, Warri District, 92 Effurun/Sapele road, Effurun, Uvwie L.G.A. Delta State, Nigeria.

([phone]

Email: [e-mail] [e-mail]

Published in Nigeria by:

Rev. Emmanuel Akpan Global Publication Ministries Email: [e-mail]

COMMENDATIONS FOR

JUST BEFORE YOU SAY I DO!

1) This book is a one-stop shop for solutions to critical premarital issues singles are confronted with. It addresses the very foundation upon which connubial bliss can be built, attained and sustained. One may query the seeming late arrival of this work, particularly in a time where all kinds of chaff are peddled on television, radio, socio-media, books and strangely too in many pulpits as teachings on relationship or courtship; in a time where many marriages are short-lived owing to wrong foundation as indicated by this work. This work is not late; it is a

child born in due time. It is insightful, instructive and corrective. Every Christian will find it useful.

Rev. Fabian Epetuku

Senior pastor -Assemblies of God Church (Airport Road Branch 1), Sectional Leader, Author and District Secretary Assemblies of God, Nigeria, Warri District.

i

2) This book Just Before You Say I Do is written by pastor (Rev.) Emmanuel Akpan of Assemblies of God, Warri District.

This book exposes you to a slogan that says Look before you lick. Many young people delve into marriage without considering what marriage is al about. This book is your guard. Since marriage is not a contract but a covenant, one needs to know the intricacies of marriage. God hates divorce because of this one needs to prayerfully go into it. This book helps you avoid marriage pitfal s.

I therefore, recommend this book to everyone who wants to have a blissful home. This book will enrich your soul and make your marriage a success. This book is a good choice for everyone who wants to succeed in marriage.

Rev. Silas Uduehbolo

Senior Pastor of Assemblies of God, P.T.I. Road Branch, Sectional Leader P.T.I. Section and member of the Board of Presbytery Assemblies of God, Nigeria Warri District.

ii

3) After a deliberate but painstaking perusing over this piece of intelligent work, I discovered the aims and objectives is to have couples with an enviable relationship and home and at last make heaven to attend the marriage super of the lamb.

Read it, digest it and manifest it. Shalom.

Rev. J. E. Enkpere

Senior Pastor, Assemblies of God Warri Central Church, Sectional Leader Warri Central Section, Author, and Assistant District. Superintendent of Assemblies of God, Nigeria, Warri District.

4) Marriage is honorable (Heb.13:4). A honorable marriage thrives on Godly principles, this is a book that spells out the pathway to a successful marriage based on God's Word. The author, a successful married man of God wrote from his wealth of experience. This book is worth reading.

Rev. Ajotuobu Ogadie,

Senior pastor Assemblies of God Ekpan Branch 1, Sectional Leader Ekpan 1 Section, a scholar per-iii

Excel ence, and member of the Board Of Presbyters, Assemblies of God, Nigeria, Warri District.

5. The book Just Before You Say I Do Is a thorough research and presentation of Biblical principles of living from single hood as a youth to understanding what love is before going into a relationship. The author addressed courtship and dating from the biblical view points and went further to how we can enjoy our marriage in God's way. I recommend it to schools, churches, individuals both young and old married and unmarried as a guide to full fil ed living.

It is relevant for marriage counseling. A great blessing to our generation.

Rev. Kalu Ernest Freeman,

Author and Delta State Youth CORDINATOR,

Assemblies of God Nigeria.

6) In Just before you say I do, you wil find a handful manual for the engaged, yet to be engaged, youths and the about to wed. This material should also be a ready tool for marriage counseling committees of churches… Rev. Emmanuel Akpan has done a good job with this work. This material is not just for the iv

unmarried, I warmly recommend it to al married people and parents as a training tool for bringing their children up rightly with the required strong biblical base which this author has championed in JUST

BEFORE YOU SAY I DO.

Rev. Dr. Friday O. Amirah

District Superintendent, Warri District, E.C. Rep.

Assemblies of God, Nigeria

v

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to the Almighty God for all His help toward me and for His Grace and inspiration to write this book and to my one and only wife, darling this is the first fruit of your labour and you deserved the best. May the Almighty God bless you for me greatly. I love you.

vi

FOREWORD

Rev. Emmanuel Akpan is an amiable Pastor in Warri District in whom I am well pleased. Hence I did not hesitate to accept when he requested me to write the foreword of this book Just before You Say I Do. He has remained happily married with a working marriage making him qualified enough to write on this subject.

In Just before you say I do, you wil find a handful manual for the engaged, yet to be engaged, youths and the about to wed. This material should also be a ready tool for marriage counseling committees of churches.

The author drives home the point that marriage is not a tea-party neither is it for the faint hearted.

Singlehood is not free from its challenges as well.

Chief of it all is avoiding sexual sin which has grounded many in the church today. This book gives the antidotes to this and the other chal enges single people face before marriage. He answers the many vii

questions of love extensively on how to find real love, how to nurture and prove it. He ended the first chapter by asserting that changes are inevitable as one moves from singlehood to the marriage arena.

Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly hence he devoted the whole of chapter two to highlight several points every single boy or girl must know before venturing into marriage. A must read. A lot has been said and written about marriage the good, the bad and the ugly. Rev. Akpan excel ently dissects the subject of marriage brilliantly from what marriage is not, the essence of marriage itself and by outlining the concept of marriage with the view of grasping enough understanding of marriage - Just before You Say I do.

The issue of late marriage and its causes is quite exciting and necessary for such a time as this. He is a Pastor, so he writes from the Christian take on marriage. Before concluding with the several common questions especial y young people ask today about marriage, the author extensively hammered home the need to prepare sufficiently for marriage. He counsels that due process should be fol owed in viii

choosing who and when to marry. The author upholds and encourages young people to stick to the leading of the Holy Spirit in their quest to get married because the consequences of marrying the wrong person are daring and scary. Taking into account the col ateral damages sexual immorality has done to many, the author dedicated quality lines to deal with this subject as wel . Rev. Emmanuel Akpan has done a good job with this work. This material is not just for the unmarried, I warmly recommend it to all married people and parents as a training tool for bringing their children up rightly with the required strong biblical base which this author has championed in JUST

BEFORE YOU SAY I DO. Happy reading!

Rev. Dr. Frida y O. Amirah

District Superintendent, Warri District,

Assemblies of God, Nigeria

ix

PREFACE

Just Before You Say I Do, people look at one thing differently but arrive at the same point. Like the synoptic Gospel Matthew, Mark, Luke and John described Jesus birth, life, miracles, death and ascension differently but arrived at the same message, so is Rev. Emmanuel Akpan like others have approached the subject of Before marriage, during marriage, and after marriage technically, experiential y, Ecclesiastically, Biblically and socially, but arrived at the same message. The before, during and the after marriage are ceremonies but marriage is an experience.

The author skillfully weaves the models together to lead the reader to know the things he/she should know before saying I DO!

Preface of a book is all about the aims and objective of the author about the book while forward is to introduce and recommend the book to the world. In x

the light of the afore-said I write the preface on this book below.

The aims and objectives of this book in:

CHAPTER ONE

Chal enges of the singles. Akpan opened his writing with quotes and I quote Thoughts lead to purpose, purpose move into actions, actions form habits, and habits decide character, and character fixes, determines and directs destiny on quote. Therefore, the single must watch their thought and purpose.

Singles have some challenges from life style, mass media, virginity value, sex from Bible point of view, can a single be holy? Yes he said. Can a single live without premarital sex Yes Akpan said.

Marriage needs preparation as life needs preparation.

Love should be wel understood and its aims. Control your emotions.

CHAPTER TWO

Some things you must know about marriage before you enter into it. An old primary school reader said xi

Look before you leap you must look into cultural and family background, denomination, education, kind of profession, managing each other's sexual urge and irritating attitudes. How to manage a partner from rich or poor home background and how to

communicate effectively in marriage etc. are rich lessons in chapter two.

CHAPTER THREE

Psychology of marriage, what marriage is not and what marriage is.

What marriage is not

 Marriage is not for children

 Marriage is not for cohabiting

 Marriage is not a place for gold diggers

 Marriage is not a way of getting a cook or slave

 Marriage is not primarily for children producing factory

 Marriage is not for sympathy

xii

What marriage is

Marriage is for companionship primarily Marriage is primarily for sexuality Marriage is the will of God Marriage is to avoid fornication Marriage to avoid burning Marriage is for procreation Marriage is to have a help meet Marriage is for sexual satisfaction Marriage is for social security and acceptance Marriage is giving and receiving Marriage is for expression of love This same chapter talks about types and kinds of marriage and causes of late marriage.

CHAPTER FOUR:- PREPARATION FOR

MARRIAGE

Have a basic source of income Spiritual preparation is inevitable prayer Physical preparation Social preparation Mental preparation Domestic preparation Medical preparation Premarital counseling Attend marriage seminars Consulting your pastor Obey the rules of native laws and customs bride price Marry someone of the same faith with you Avoid pre-marital sex, it dishonors God.

xiii

CHAPTER FIVE

Is common questions people ask After a deliberate but painstaking perusing over this piece of intelligent work, I discovered the aims and objectives is to have couples with an enviable relationship and home and at last make heaven to attend the marriage super of the lamb. Read it, digest it and manifest it. Shalom.

Rev. J. E. Enkpere

Senior Pastor,

Assemblies of God Warri Central Church,

Sectional Leader Warri Central Section,

Author, and Assistant District

Superintendent of Assemblies of God,

Nigeria, Warri District.

xiv

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Life is a journey of mutual interdependence. No man or woman can navigate through life alone successfully without the help of other people. We will always need each other at one point or the other in our lives. No matter how talented, resourceful or gifted a person may be, he wil stil need the help, support, and assistance of those who are not as endowed or far more endowed than he is.

Such help, support, assistance and interdependency I have enjoyed in abundance in the course of this work, and knowing the worth and value of such great privileges I dare not take them for granted. Therefore I want to use this medium to immensely appreciate al who have contributed in no smal measure to make this dream a reality.

I want to appreciate al the thousands authors whose works I have read over the years and those I have cited in this book. Thank you for making such great wealth of information available, they have indeed xv

made my job very easy for me. I want to appreciate all those who pastured me, just Before You Say I do all my teachers, and facilitators of seminars, conferences, workshops etc. I have attended; they have all joined hand in moulding me into whatever I am today. I want to also appreciate all the Churches I have pastured and worked with over the years, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of your life history.

I also appreciate all my leaders and fathers in the ministry, all my sectional leaders pass and present. I heartily appreciate the team of Warri district presbytery for their fatherly role in my life and ministry. I appreciates al that despite their busy and tight schedules still take time to proof read, edit and make some necessary corrections in the original manuscript of this book they are the hands the Lord has used to give shape to this book.

Thank you deacon Goddons Akpoduado my sectional youth president for many years who later became my district youth president for many years also, thank you for your useful suggestions, ideas and

contributions, God bless you. Thank you big brother xvi

and friend Simeon Iwekagu your encouragements were the motivational booster I needed just at the moment they came, God bless you greatly. A big thanks also goes to Deacon Godwin and Dr. Mrs. Vera Akajagbor you are a true father and mother indeed.

God wil send you men to interpret your dreams as