For a Better Tomorrow

By Joginder Singh

Shri Joginder Singh, IPS (Retd.), former Director of CBI, is a living testimony as to how an ordinary person can rise to the pinnacles of glory by sheer hard work and motivation. His life is a saga of success which can be enunciated as a role model for any aspiring youngster.     This magnum opus by Sh. Joginder Singh is a treatise on self improvement. This win-win story is based on the secrets of success as to how to become an achiever. And the success mantra that he espouses for you: Make the best of all opportunities; dream big and work hard-dreams will turn sheer realities. You only need to hone your skills and attitude to become a winner.     Remember that success is always a choice. You can choose to be successful by putting the required labour and sacrifices. Today is what matters most. What you expect can happen only if you are focussed-motivation is the bottom line of success.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diamond Books
• Release date: Oct 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9788128828102

Book preview

Realism

Let Me Tell You

Life is full of tough choices. Discarding one thing for the other can be difficult, when both have the potential to make you happy. Once you take a decision, do not lament, when you have to face the consequences of your decision. Under the given circumstances, if you have done your best and made the best decision possible, then have the courage to stand up for yourself and your choice. Every option should bring you closer to the image of the person you want to be. Do not dent this process by casting doubts on yourself and your ability.

Assess as to what you want from your life and what you are willing to do for it. What strategy you should adopt for attaining success? What will be your secret to success? Renew and recharge yourself everyday. Each time you reach a milestone in your goal, remind yourself why you started in the first place. Replenish your commitment to your dream. Each time you face a setback, remind yourself that it is all a part of the success process. Renew your determination to succeed. This is how you create the path to your success. It is the first step towards your happiness. It is also the hardest. When you choose one path, you sometimes have to let go of other possibilities. But once you are committed to your dream, you should follow through on it. This of course is the hardest part.

Be courageous and face up to your life. Recognise the dreams you have had to give up and the anguish and pain you suffered, to realise healthier and happier goals. Be always working in your life, to get rid of the excess baggage. Any excess baggage generally weighs down the spirit. There is a glow of happiness that surrounds us all the time, if only we could identify it. Embrace your life as it is and face up to the reality. Do not spend any time wallowing in self-pity, or ruing on how things should be or have been? Do not waste any time on the If only’s? in your life. Do not let disbelief, distrust, and misgivings strangulate life, out of your beliefs and judgements. Ruthlessly pull out such weeds out of your mind. Pay attention to the thoughts that you are suggesting to yourself all the time, about your chances of success in your venture. Make sure that it is a pep talk and not a tongue-lashing from yourself to yourself. Most people are their own worst enemy and the harshest critic. The result is that instead of cheering themselves on, they keep on telling themselves that there is absolutely no way they would ever succeed in achieving their goal, as either they are not competent or have always messed things up. Instead you should always treat yourself like your best friend and applaud yourself.

Most people have either an indifferent or a low opinion about themselves. The cure for improving this situation is to improve your self-image. Examine as to what do you believe about yourself and why you are constantly putting yourself down. Go further deep and examine as to what could have led to your branding of yourself as an awful person, whom even you do not like. Make a beginning by restructuring and reorganising your relationship with yourself. Begin by tolerating and forgiving yourself for your past errors and blunders.

There are always a few things we all like about ourselves and surely you would also have some. You can make a beginning from there. Remember each one of us has a purpose and meaning for our lives. God has gifted each one of us in various ways in order to bring about this fulfilment. Never discard an incident or an experience as meaningless, a talent as ordinary, or a dream as just that, a dream in your life. Says Marsha Sinetar: The significant business of your life is alive and well, awaiting discovery, within your very soul. You and I were born to become ourselves, as complete and distinctive persons. Accepting this, we build a valuable life. This is the hidden, undergirding occupation, beneath anyone’s meaningful purpose. Norman Vincent Peale adds: Those who are fired with an enthusiastic idea and who allow it to take hold and dominate their thoughts find that new worlds open for them. As long as enthusiasm holds out, so will new opportunities.

Be always fired up about your goal and surpass others with your enthusiasm by focusing on the benefits of achieving your goal. Reinforce your dream in your heart and soul, by strengthening and fortifying the reality of it in your daily life. Create a bold and self-assured momentum by devoting yourself to whatever excites you about your goal. This could mean visualising yourself with a trim and slim figure, when you were in your teens or when you excelled in studies or anything else, which makes you feel good about yourselves. Motivation is hard to sustain unless you develop a practice of rewarding yourself on a regular basis for realising your goal. You should habitually reward yourself for any and every small achievement.

Appraise yourself carefully, by getting to know the real you. Assess what do you do well and what are you strengths. Instead of focusing on your perceived flaws, focus on your strengths and positive qualities. Accept that your life has a meaning and purpose and there are plenty of opportunities to make them a reality. Unless you decide to do whatever it takes to acquire the qualities necessary for success, you might end up, never realizing what you could have been. Positive attitude is a great attitude to adopt in your life. It is more essential when you are facing soul-crushing frustration and distress. Knowing how to look on the bright side of catastrophes and disasters can save you a lot of grief, depression and misery. Even in the worst of circumstances encourage yourself with hope and enhance the positive in every situation. Says Ralph Waldo Emerson, Each man has his own vocation. The talent is the call. The best way to have a meaningful life, is to develop and encourage yourself and your spirit. Using your talents will enable you to do this. Whether it is indulging in hobbies like painting, singing, cooking, writing poetry or performing duties in the best possible ways, will make your lives richer and satisfying. We must have a high opinion of ourselves and have self esteem. When we ignore this aspect of our lives, we restrain and stem our happiness.

It may be extremely arduous and taxing to do it. But it is important to keep on living it out. This approach should preferably be made into a habit. This will add to more opportunities for happiness in your life. This technique should be adopted even in little things in your life. This will facilitate in avoiding both small and giant disappointments, and will change you into a positive thinker. Do not be only caught up in making a living while, at the same time, forgetting to make a life for yourselves. Says Chuang Tzu, Tao philosopher, Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free. Stay centred by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.

Straight From The Heart

The main thrust of any effort at development and advancement should be to remove drudgery from humans and give it to machines. For success, it is equally important to be on the look out for the course that should not be adopted and the procedures that absolutely should not or need not be used. It is equally important to seek good answers to the plethora of why? questions which crop up in our lives. It is equally important to consider alternative and better way of doing things as well as grab the opportunity to abolish unnecessary and time-consuming practices. Best systems emerge from a very clear vision and aspiration. We all are swamped and overwhelmed all day with opportunities to expend our energy on e-mails, phone calls, movies and many other distractions. They are all very relevant, even urgent, at times. You have to know, whether where you are going or doing is helping you in the overall achievement. This will enable you to sift the chaff from the grain. A set of clear personal or organisation’s vision and a good set of objectives that flow out of that vision are the best foundation for developing and adhering to good methods for progression. You must start your life, your day, your career with a vision statement, like what you intend to accomplish through your efforts in your role. It should be very lucid, unambiguous, gripping and forceful. You should form a habit of evaluating your actions each day in that light. Never confuse your doings and bustle with productivity.

. It is important to have a systematized way of handling business as, in a large number of concern, there is an immovable bureaucracy which leads to chaos. Only a few brilliant and capable players make some organisations click. Unless there is an overall passion to be an ever-improving organization, the organisations just wither and burn people out. The quality of service by such organisations is naturally very poor. To lift an organisation to great heights it is essential to have a right person in the organization who can develop systems that help people to accomplish their work with consistent speed and quality. The effectiveness of an organisation depends on the effectiveness of individuals constituting it. The organisations also need to constantly innovate, to decide on better way to handle routine tasks, which are inevitable. Half of the job can be done by asking the right questions. It enables people wherever necessary to slow down and examine what and how they are doing their work. It is a fact that many discussions arise out of asking the right question and the suggestions for improvement, which gush forth from it. Their current working out is a great give way. Business networking is a great way to succeed. It depends on having the right partners who can help in running business, improve service or provide relief on items that may lie outside the purview of one partner or chosen centre of attention. Thinking big and getting help will assist in having a tighter grip on your own and your organisation’s vision. Any business which tries to do all in house will run into difficulties. No one individual can do everything and also be the best in everything. Another mistake is to be blind to the need of help from others, including partners. The daily grind should include looking at the internal procedures of performance and functioning on a habitual and normal basis. Keeping the communication lines open with the team is the best way to get the feedback. It is this feedback which enables you to know that the systems need to change or the work is becoming too harsh and severe and the returns are disproportionate to the efforts. Listening to the people doing the work, then re evaluating their feedback in the light of the organization’s activities and responsibility will yield rich dividends. The Oxford University Press Dictionary gives the following meaning of effectiveness and efficiency:

Effective—producing a desired or intended result, operative; existing in Fact.

Efficient—working productively with minimum wasted effort or expense.

Effectiveness and efficiency are resources and implements to help you achieve your goals. At the same time, it would not be wrong to say that increasing one’s performance and efficiency are often goals themselves in enhancing productivity. Both competence and efficiency need skills that can be learnt and by constant use can be transformed into a habit. They eventually become assets for achieving any other goal. Effectiveness is a process for achieving the planned outcome, in the light of your strategies or steps that you already would have outlined. Review each phase and compare it to the overall mission. Your strategies should include and take into consideration as to how each step will contribute to the overall achievement. Put an end to any methods or systems that have been identified as not contributing to the overall achievements. You can learn from the strategies adopted in other similar successful projects. Brainstorming for new measures or new steps or strategies for achieving you goal is another excellent method of succeeding.

With being busy in achieving your goals, you should not underestimate the important step of evaluating the results of your efforts. Always keep your overall goals in mind and make sure that your actions help you to reach nearer to your goals. You can pursue and do your follow up by using a simple checklist or calendar, so that you can evaluate at a glance. Chasing, following up and analysing will keep you both motivated and on the right track. You must not lose sight of focusing on one thing at a time, like on a well-defined goal. Do your best to achieve it, then move on to another goal. You can choose one or more strategies, which will give you optimum result. Take one step at a time, and you are bound to succeed.

There are no golden rules about any job or performance. The only golden rule is to have the clearest vision and seize the opportunities that come our way and go on innovating and upgrading.

There is a story about a meeting wherein managers of a organisation wanted to install security cameras to keep a watch on members stealing the expensive shampoos and other toiletries. One manager suggested talking to the janitor before acting. The janitor, when consulted, suggested taking the tops off the shampoo bottles. The problem was solved at no cost. So sometimes, the simplest solutions turn out to be the best. Never underestimate the power of seeking the views of others or brainstorming. Always be on the look out for doing things in a better way.

Make A Difference

We all get snowed under or inundated from time to time with the work we have to do. When there is too much to do, we can not realise or determine where to start! Here are some clues to get you going. Split your job into small segments and sections. If you have to face lots of paper, pick up and tackle one bundle or heap at a time. Go through it and whatever has outlived its utility should be confirmed to. a good quality looking basket. You can call it a waste paper project basket. Converge on sorting only, until you are done with. This will ensure that you do not have to tackle them again. When handling any paper subjectively, you can imagine or act as if you are doing all this for somebody else. Try some system or procedure to add to maximum objectivity in tackling papers After you have done, pick up another pile and repeat the exercise, till you have cleared all the clutter and have a pleasant working or living place.

Set aside small dimension of time, for organising your closet. Don’t commit an entire weekend to. But first fancy what your organized working place or closet should look like and then plan with that picture in view. Using a plan will help you focus on the project. So you will accordingly set some free time for the same. You can make a promise to yourself, or earmark time for one to two hours at a time. You can reward yourself for completing segments of the tasks. Working for a limited amount of time instead of working until a task is complete means there’s a defined beginning and end to keep things in perspective. Make it a habit to make a master list every day. Making a list is decluttering your mind and brain. It is simply transferring what you have on or in you head dump on the paper. It is almost equal to transferring your headache to paper, instead of allowing the tasks to go on whining in your head. Consult an expert or organizer, who can proffer his expertise, skills and experience objectively in a non-judgmental way. It will prevent you from getting weighed down. Make it a point to arrange your work space in such a way so that you can work systematically. Make it point to find excuses to move about and to get up from your chair regularly as you work. This approach will disrupt any anxiety or nervousness and will enable you to make a fresh start. Getting organized is a skill you can acquire for increasing your efficiency. If you feel that you are totally disorganised and in a mess, it will be a good idea to recognise and appreciate that you are not the only one in this state of affairs. Most people tend to allow clutter to rule their lives. However, it is a different matter that most people do not talk about it. Having clutter does not mean that you are an awful and a terrible person. It only means that you need to learn new skills for enhancing your efficiency and changing your habits. Do not confuse the trees for the wood. Look at whatever you are looking with keen and observant eyes and you will change and achieve whatever you set your sights on.

Outgrowing Dependent Syndrome

Whenever you face any problem, recall how you handled any such incident in the past. Did you wish at that time that you had handled this differently? How did it make you feel? Did you consider as to what steps you would take in future to avoid such a happening or persons who might be responsible for it? It would be useful to list the ways in which some people try to manipulate others, including yourself, and devise possible solutions or responses to such behaviours. Such record can be a great asset in future. One way to relieve yourself of the hard feelings is to write a letter to the person who might have offended you, but do not despatch, so that you have a free mind and at the same time you leave a window open for a possible rapprochement later on.

Our heart heals faster when there is hope. Hope is like a band aid. It facilitates the repair of any damage and enables any shock or setback to heal more rapidly. Never lose hope even in the worst circumstances. Keep in view what you were meant to do with your life and how best you can use yourself. Always have a high opinion of yourself and keep your spirit free. Keep your honour intact under all circumstances. Said Samuel Johnson, What we hope to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence. Remember that success does not come overnight. You have to badly want to achieve your goal, by putting in the necessary time and effort. Success demands a heavy price and there is no such thing as instant success, just because you want it right now and here. You have to be fair to your dream and give it your all.

Become skilled at what you want to do and have to do. Then do the best you can. Once you realise this, it will make it easy for you to realise your dream. Says Francis Wayland It is by what we ourselves have done, and not by what others have done for us, that we shall be remembered in after the ages. Focus on living a life of consequence and significance. Honour your principles, standards and ethics and be known as a person of immeasurable integrity, strength, and character. Have a way of life with values which mirror these qualities. Make a change in your life, if necessary, so that you honour your ideals. Be true to yourself and happiness will be around in your life. Respecting your values will enhance your health and career.

Regulate and fine tune into the way you feel about your life. Barzun’s Laws of Learning says, The simple but difficult arts of paying attention, copying accurately, following an argument, detecting an ambiguity or a false inference, testing guesses by summoning up contrary instances, organizing one’s time and one’s thought for study— all these arts cannot be taught in the air, but only through the difficulties of a defined subject. They cannot be taught in one course or one year, but must be acquired gradually in dozens of connections. The analogy to athletics must be pressed, until all recognize that in the exercise of intellect, those who lack the muscles, co-ordination and will power can claim no place at the training table, let alone on the playing field. As a measure to enhance your self esteem, never gossip about other people in demeaning terms. If you are doing so, then you need to change your own self-beliefs and behaviour. This is the only way to have the friendship and intimacy that you need in your life. Avoiding harbouring hard feelings towards the people who have offended you is difficult. Attempt to replace this behaviour with a more positive one, such as saying only good and pleasant things behind other people’s backs. This is a habit which can be cultivated.

Your negative feelings about others quite often replicate your own insecurities and fears. The quality of our relationships with others is an indentation as to how you feel about yourselves. Two-Faced Friend are most dangerous, who smile in the face of some people and then tear them apart behind their backs. It is entirely different to criticize someone to their face and quite another to damn people when they are out of sight.

It is an ungentlemanly quality to stoop to gossiping and griping about others, when they are not present. The real integrity in your relationships demands that you be even handed and not a backbiter. While it is normal not to like someone due to personality clash or personal egos, it is not acceptable to rubbish others or use every opportunity to paint others as rogues and felons. The best policy is that if you have nothing nice to say about someone or to someone, then by all means keep your mouth shut.

We all realise when we hurt others, especially by just attacking their weak points. Hurting someone because you have authority, or some control, or are aware of other’s weak points, would certainly not make you or show that you are a better person. If anything, others who hear your denunciations would feel that you are small, mean and a petty individual. No matter how much aversion you have to someone, do not tumble down so low that you behave without esteem, reverence or scruples. Remember, when we deliberately cause hurt to others, we hurt ourselves most of all. If you are tempted to stoop to this level, think twice. Then think about it again.

If somebody talks ill of others, one good strategy would be, to be the victim’s friend and stand up for them when there is none to defend them. More important is to convey a message to such a person that you do not appreciate backbiting and you feel very uncomfortable. Stress that you value harmony and friendship. The change has to begin with individuals wanting to change. It is easier to slip into negativity either about yourself or about others. We should try to rise above our worst inclinations if we want to be better persons.

All of us need to make a special effort to ignore the easy way of bad-mouthing others. When you feel tempted, ask yourself as to why you are doing it. Keep in view that condemnation or bad-mouthing others will not change them or anything else. The person criticised would still be the same person. Possibly he may harden his stand in whatever he is doing. The only thing is you will have only made yourself look and feel insignificant and trivial in the eyes of others. Tearing anybody does not build the stature of the critic. On the other hand, it can show that such a person is full of jealousy, envy, resentment, anger, hatred or fear.

It is within the power of each one of us not to behave that way. We can avoid emotional poison generated by the negative behaviour. Venturing in anger does good to anybody. Neither brooding about others will change them. We should attempt to be brave and address our feeling with a view to stopping any negativity affecting the rest of our life. Negativity does take away the joy from our life. Never give any difficult relationship any power over your life and your happiness. When dealing with difficult people, we have only two choices: we can either avoid or ignore them, or you can make them aware, of how you feel and try to come to some sort of resolution. It will also depend upon how much importance such a person (your boss or your spouse) has on your life and how much leeway you want to give them. Understanding this will free you. It will also facilitate you to rise above hurtful behaviour and enable you to live your life to the fullest. The secret to long-lasting, positive, and fulfilling relationships is based on feeling secure in yourself. Make sure that your whole being gives a positive reflection of yourself at your best.

Realise Your Golden Dreams

People with lucid and unambiguous goals, preferably written ones, achieve far more than the persons without them could ever visualise. This is true all over universally and under all situations. Clarity is responsible for 70% of victory and triumph as well as pleasure. Lack of clarity is more responsible for frustration and underachievement than any other factor. It is for this reason that some people say, Success is goals, and all else is commentary. Your success in life is largely determined by as to how much clear you are, as to what you really want in life. First of all, be clear in your mind as to what exactly you want in each area of your life. Be explicit, definite and precise and write down the same clearly and in detail.

Set a specific time limit to achieve your goals. Depending upon the complexity and size of the goal, you can break it down into sub-targets and write them down in the order most feasible and practicable to achieve. List everything and all items you feel can help you in achieving your goal. As new items occur to you, add them to your list of the things to be done and juxtapose them into a plan, by placing them in the best possible progression, order and priorities.

Make it a habit to take action immediately on the most important thing you should do, on your plan. This is most important. Take action every day to do something, that moves you toward the attainment of one or more of your significant and vital goals. Sustain the drive and thrust. Says Washington Irving, Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.

Rewrite Your Goals

Make it a habit to write and rewrite your goals. The more you think about your goals, the distinctive and definite you will become about them. The more comprehensible and lucid you are about what you desire, the more chances are that you will do more and more of the things that are logical and rational in the direction of achieving them. An opposite approach will mean, that you will indulge in fewer actions that help in achieving your goals. A study has shown that hardly three percent people have written goals and plans for working on any single day. It is these 3% people who have achieved the maximum. It is best to join the top 3% of people in our society. In due course of time, you will get the same results, as the 3% high achievers do.

Goals keep on changing depending upon how much you have achieved. Make it a point to study and review your goals every day so that you keep on concentrating on your most important goals. You can add or subtract goals, to or from your list, as the time passes. After one goal has been achieved, you will find it necessary to delete any goals which are no more important as once they were. Bottom line is that whatever your goals may be, plan them out thoroughly on paper, and work on them every day religiously. This will lead to peak performance and maximum achievement.

You should develop your