Being Who You Are: The Universal Vocation

By Brother Bernard Seif, SMC, EdD, DNM, ABBHP

It is mysteriously and wonderfully difficult work to stay faithful to the life-long process of becoming who we are.  It's not once and done, but an ongoing series of discernments.  If we are fortunate, we may have a mentor or two along the way to help us.  There will also be those people and events that may discourage us.  A sense of humor is crucial to the process, so I sprinkled in a few events that may bring a smile to the lips of the reader. 

 

This book is about the call everyone has--our vocation in the broadest sense--to be who we are.  People can unintentionally distort or misunderstand our goals in striving to respond to longing to be who we are.  It is my hope that these words will help to clarify the variety of ways in which people can live their lives, and also offer some guidance and tools to help facilitate that organic process.  Much like a midwife, we can work to draw the new life out of one another.

 

There is something for people of all philosophies and faith stances in this book, although one may have to dig a little deeper at times to get beyond the Catholic Christian framework in which much of the material is embodied.  All are meant to be included as we bring to consciousness our preconceived ideas, accurate or otherwise, and let our monastic archetype reveal itself.  What I offer is simply my experience of this process.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brother Bernard Seif, SMC, EdD, DNM, ABB
• Release date: Oct 23, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393694397

Brother Bernard Seif, SMC, EdD, DNM, ABBHP

Brother / Doctor Bernard Seif, SMC, EdD, DNM, ABBHP is a Christian monk in the Roman Catholic and Salesian traditions and Clinical Psychologist, Board Certified in Behavioral Medicine and Behavioral Health Practice.  He is also educated in natural health modalities, specializing in Chinese Medicine with sub-specialties in Medical Qigong and Chinese medicinal herbs.  Brother Bernard is certified as an Advanced Clinical Therapist and a Qigong Teacher by the National Qigong Association and is a Lifetime Professional member of that organization, past Ethics Chair, and has served on the NQA Board of Directors.  Doctor Seif is a Life Member of the American Psychological Association and a Life Member and Approved Consultant with the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis.  He enjoys hiking, writing monastic mystery books, has studied in both the United States and Asia, and gives workshops and retreats in the USA and abroad.  Mostly, he just enjoys trying to be a good human being.

Book preview

Being Who You Are: The Universal Vocation

by Brother Bernard Seif, SMC, EdD, DNM, ABBHP

Pathways Through This Book (Outline)

DEDICATION

Preface followed by Chapters containing the Heart of the Matter

1 Overview of Virtues, Evangelical Counsels, and Religious Vows

2 The Four Vocations:  Baptism is Foundational

3 Committed Single Life, including Consecrated Virgins

4 Monastic / Religious Life – Nuns, Monks, Sisters, Brothers, and Hermits

5 Clergy – Deacon, Priest, Bishop

6 Married Life and Widows / Widowers

7 Conversion of Life

8 Stability

9 Obedience

10 Poverty

11 Chastity

12 Charity (Optional Vow)

13 Tools for Being Who You Are:  Spiritual Direction and Discernment of Spirits

References

Author Biography

Also by this Author and Bonus Chapters

SPECIAL THANKS TO SISTER Ann Seif, SSJ, for proofreading and editing the final manuscript of this book.  Her help was invaluable in this labor of love, as well as in my efforts to live out my own expression of our universal call to be who we are and be that well.

Cover Design: SelfPubBookCovers.com/RLSather

Dedication

THESE PAGES ARE DEDICATED to everyone with whom I have had the good fortune of journeying over the years, personally, pastorally, or clinically.  Thank you for teaching me what it means to be myself, and hopefully to be that, at least to some degree, well.

I am especially grateful to the Venerable Mother Mary de Sales Chappuis, VHM (1793-1875), one of the founders in our Salesian spiritual family.  Before I took my very first college psychology examination, I grasped the profession cross given to me when I made my first vows and prayed through her intercession to our Good God to do well.  Now, still going strong but at the other end of that vocational road, I continue to be grateful for everything—potholes and all! 

Preface

IT IS MYSTERIOUSLY and wonderfully difficult work to stay faithful to the life-long process of becoming who we are.  It’s not once and done, but an ongoing series of discernments.  If we are fortunate, we may have a mentor or two along the way to help us.  There will also be those people and events that may discourage us.  A sense of humor is crucial to the process, so I sprinkled in a few events that may bring a smile to the lips of the reader. 

This book is about the call everyone has—our vocation in the broadest sense—to be who we are.  People can unintentionally distort or misunderstand our goals in striving to respond to longing to be who we are.  It is my hope that these words will help to clarify the variety of ways in which people can live their lives, and also offer some guidance and tools to help facilitate that organic process.  Much like a midwife, we can work to draw the new life out of one another.

While this is a book for everyone, for people of every chronological age, it draws especially on illustrations from the monastic life.  That is because I am a monk and it comes naturally for me to think in those terms.  Perhaps more importantly, it is because I believe that there is a monastic archetype or tendency to respond to a concept when triggered in each of us.  This cross-cultural longing for union, contemplation, and healing can be lived out as a single person, a married person, a member of the clergy, or a vowed religious or monastic. 

There is something for people of all philosophies and faith stances in this book, although one may have to dig a little deeper at times to get beyond the Catholic Christian framework in which much of the material is embodied.  All are meant to be included as we bring to consciousness our preconceived ideas, accurate or otherwise, and let our monastic archetype reveal itself.  What I offer is simply my experience of this process.

Even though I attempted to touch upon a variety of the spiritual charisms that the Church is blessed with, Salesian spirituality is drawn upon a bit more frequently than the other charisms as a way to elucidate an idea or concept.  This is because I am a Salesian monk, and so that also comes naturally to me.  One of the hallmarks of Salesian spirituality is that it is compatible with every walk of life and is eminently practical and easily applied to all vocations.  That makes it especially useful when writing about the various vocational possibilities life provides.

This offering is not meant to be a scholarly or academic tome, nor a book of canon law or anything official, but rather it is a volume to be used for spiritual and psychological encouragement and support at any point in life.  As the book unfolds, I offer a few vignettes from my own life as a way to illustrate an idea.  I have no illusions that I am holier or better than anyone else, but I do think that, to the degree possible, I am at least on a good day, being who I am.

The living matrix of vocation goes beyond human comprehension.  If I unintentionally skipped over a particular calling, I ask for your gracious understanding.

I invite you to read these pages in a relaxed, reflective, and prayerful fashion.  Don’t worry at all about getting to the end of the book.  Let the thoughts settle into your mind and heart, be attentive to words or ideas that glow or touch you in a special way as in the prayer practice called lectio divina, prayerful reading.   May these words be of benefit to you, dear reader.

—Brother Bernard Seif, SMC, EdD, DNM, ABBHP

1 Overview of Virtues, Evangelical Counsels, and Religious Vows

YOU’LL LOVE HER; SHE’S a doctor.  So spoke a mother to her thirty-something year old son.  He’s an accountant and you’re not getting any younger, said a dad to his adult daughter.  Susan Annette Muto (1985) wrote an entire book about this process of pressuring people into marriage when their vocation was really to celebrate their single life, as her book title so clearly supports.

A very dedicated laywoman comes to mind.  She has spent her life helping others as a professional and as a volunteer in home and foreign missions and ministry.  One day she asked her parish priest if a day of recollection or some sort of spiritual support group could be offered specifically for