The Lieography of Amelia Earhart: The Absolutely Untrue, Totally Made Up, 100% Fake Life Story of a Great American Aviator

By Alan Katz

Amelia Earhart, top aviator. You might know that her flight accomplishments were heralded across the globe. But what about the story of her teeth, which were so perfect that her dentist wanted to remove all of them to show his other patients? Or her refusal to read chapter nine in any book? You’re about to be treated to the Lieographical aspects of Amelia Earhart’s life, in this funny, lighthearted, “all that didn’t happen” take on this larger than life woman.

The book ends with a short—but true—account of Amelia’s life—just enough to encourage kids to find out more on this important historical figure. But even if readers have already learned about Amelia, the wacky stories in this tall-tales book will be even more enjoyable.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tanglewood
• Release date: Oct 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781939100511

Alan Katz

Alan Katz has written more than forty highly acclaimed children’s books, including Take Me Out of the Bathtub and Other Silly Dilly Songs, The Day the Mustache Took Over, OOPS!, Really Stupid Stories for Really Smart Kids, and the New York Times bestseller Misty the Cloud, with Dylan Dreyer. Alan has received many state awards for children’s literature, and he frequently visits schools across the country.  Alan is also a six-time Emmy-nominated writer for series including The Rosie O’Donnell Show, Taz-Mania, Pinkalicious & Peterrific, numerous Nickelodeon shows, and more. He hosted a long-running game show on SiriusXM’s Kids Place Live channel, and he’s also created comic books, trading cards, theme park shows, and hundreds of other special projects for kids and their parents. 

Book preview

One

On her first birthday, Amelia Earhart dedicated her life to flight.

Aga boo ka pleh ma, is what the adults standing near her heard.

Isn’t that cute? asked her mother.

It’s totally adorable, answered her father.

Sheer poetry! exclaimed her grandparents at the exact same time. Then they both said, Jinx. You owe me a soda! Jinx. You owe me a soda! over and over.

But Amelia hadn’t said anything cute, adorable, or poetic. According to the exact translation in the Larry Webster Baby-to-English Dictionary, what Amelia had said was…

I believe that I will dedicate my life to flight. I believe that there is a way for women and men to soar high above the clouds to places as yet unreached. I believe I can make a powerful difference in this world. And most of all, at this very moment, I believe that I need a diaper change.

Later that day, Amelia’s grandmother won $1,000 in the lottery. And her grandfather tripped over a footstool and broke his nose (fortunately, the footstool wasn’t damaged). But those events were not really important to Amelia’s life story. Or were they? By the time you finish this book, you’ll know.

Let’s fast-forward a year or two—which is something you really can’t do in real life, no matter how expensive a remote control you buy. In other words, let’s jump to Amelia Earhart’s third birthday.

Two

Welcome to Amelia Earhart’s third birthday party. Please don’t pop the balloons. Please don’t eat the food or stick your fingers in the cake.

Why didn’t you bring a gift?

Much like Amelia’s second birthday party, this was a noisy, noisy event filled with crabby, crabby people. The parents were busy yelling at the kids, and the kids were busy yelling at each other. No one was having any fun. And then…

Amelia stood on the couch and said, Look at me, soaring high above the clouds! I am flyinging!

"Wowie, wowie,