Caged

By Rowena Fortuin

For Lucie, her cell in Silver Cloud Juvenile Hall is only one of her prisons. After losing her boyfriend, Caelum, in a hit-and-run accident, every shred of happiness slipped out of her hands. Their son, Rodrigo, is one of the few rays of light in Lucie's  never-ending darkness. But the separation from him and the rest of her family pushes her further down a harrowing spiral. Lucie's passion for poetry has always been one of her anchors, but ever since the suffering she endured at the hands of her former teacher, Ms Fitzgerald, even the thought of picking up a pen paralyses her. When Lucie befriends a new resident named Dahlia, they form an unbreakable bond. But when heartbreaking events cut their friendship short, will Lucie be able to lift herself up again? And do silver linings exist in places where not even the tiniest stream of daylight can enter?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rowena Fortuin
• Release date: Oct 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393018698

Rowena Fortuin

Rowena Fortuin is the author of Caged, a story about finding silver linings, and Stitches and Strings, a book about learning to embrace your sensitivity. Rowena is passionate about stories and believes that everybody has one to tell. Through words she hopes to evoke a sense of empathy. 

Book preview

Chapter 1

Here’s what I know about the truth: It’s simple. It’s supposed to set you free. But when it’s distorted, the truth can cage you. Like a circus animal, you’re trapped. Searching for a way to break free from the bars that separate you from the outside world. The funny thing is, everything on the outside is visible to you. You just can’t touch it, no matter how far you reach.

My name is Lucie. I cling to my name just like a little girl clings to her stuffed bears. To survive in here, it’s what I must do. To remind myself that I’m still me. A human being with blood coursing through her veins. The daughter of Pedro and Francesca Alvarez, born and raised in Los Angeles, California. Not just another criminal.

I rub my neck and imagine that it’s still there. The silver pendant Caelum gave me two years ago, with the words ‘Always and Forever' etched into a heart. I couldn’t contain my glee when he put it around my neck. I called him corny for picking out a necklace with such a sentimental engraving. Caelum assumed I was making fun of him, but I meant it affectionately. I was so overjoyed that he even thought to give me such a lovely gift. But one of the best gifts I ever had, was him. And there’s not a second that goes by when I don’t wish that I’d told him that one last time.

A single tear falls and my throat becomes thick. My eyes open and I’m tossed back into reality. It’s not there. It was taken away from me. The ‘always and forever’ is nothing but a memory. Just as Caelum is.

Chapter 2

It’s still dark outside when it’s time to get out of bed. After another sleepless night, I yawn, dreading the day that lies ahead. A longing to pull the pillow over my head and pretend I’m in the Caribbean, tugs at me. But despite the ambience of desertedness, this place is no exotic island. And the bare white walls serve as a constant reminder.

I drag my body out of bed and stand in front of it. The crumpled pink sheets greet me from underneath the white duvet cover and I greet them back with a groan. I tilt my head to the ceiling, as if a fairy godmother will materialize out of the sky and tidy up on my behalf. I may wear rags, but unlike Cinderella, I won’t be attending a ball. So I straighten myself up, crack my knuckles and give myself a pep talk.

At eight thirty, we line up to go to the school building. Once there, we take our seats. Nobody makes a peep. Well, except for these five girls in the middle row. From the minute I arrived at Silver Cloud, I’ve noticed how chatty they are.

My papa always said I had an effervescent personality. That was before everything came crashing down on me. I made the choice to be less outspoken and more withdrawn. To keep my thoughts and opinions in a bottle. I realize most people in my life noticed the shift in me. But they didn’t mention it. I guess they figured if they didn’t bring it up, it would change the fact that it was happening. I'm like a sunflower that’s died. Not only wilted, but closed up forever. And it’ll take more than sunlight and water to get my petals to open up again.

A snicker coming from the red-haired girl snaps me out of my reverie. Her and her friends' voices turn into hushed tones and then silence as a tall Asian man with a navy blue shirt and beige trousers makes his arrival.

Good morning, class, Mr Jin, our English teacher says, in a tone that’s way too lively so early in the morning. I wonder if teachers at every juvenile hall call the kids a class. It’s presumably a way to make us feel that we’re in an actual school instead of a school building in juvie. I enjoyed school. The educational part of it, anyway. But now it only reminds me of...

My shoulders stiffen. The act of uttering her name is enough to poison my organs. If I could, I’d steer clear of English. But I’m trying my utmost to stay out of trouble. Ironic, I know. Since I landed myself in juvie.

Good morning, Mr Jin, the ‘class' greets back in a way less enthusiastic manner. I say it with them, but my voice isn’t audible. Mr Jin clasps his hands and starts the lesson. For an hour he discusses the work of Emily Dickinson. I have to grit my teeth to keep from shuddering. The old Lucie hung on a teacher’s every word when they discussed Emily Dickinson and poetry. But ever since what happened, all it takes is the mention of the words ‘poetry’ and ‘writing' to evoke terror inside me.

It’s time to head to our next class and I thank God. If hope is a bird, I’d love for it to swoop down and carry me straight out of this place. But for girls like me, hope is just another empty promise.

Chapter 3

She stares at me as I read my poem out loud to the class. My focus is on the black cursive words on the page, but I'm able to sense her examining gaze. I admire Ms Fitzgerald's aqua eyes. They can be so sad it makes you want to bawl, or so happy they give you a sense of euphoria. They make you