Who Let the Demon Out?: Badass Demon Bounty Hunters, #1

By Naomi Bellina

Who Let the Demon Out?: Badass Demon Bounty Hunters Book One (A Darkly Funny Urban Fantasy) 

 

How hard can it be to send an escaped demon back to hell?

 

Not only is her suicide attempt thwarted by a stranger, but when she comes back from the dead, Sable is tasked by Lucifer to find and return to hell a demon she let loose. If she doesn't, she'll be sent to the darkest level of the afterlife when she dies.

 

The woman Jack pulled from a running car is obviously disturbed and her story about Lucifer and demons is bullshit. But she has the name of a dead man written on her arm and Jack wants to know why.

 

Since it's Jack's fault she's in this mess and his skills from a background in the security business are useful, Sable recruits him for her find-the-demon mission, which turns out to be all kinds of difficult. Not only can demons inhabit human bodies, they have other nasty tricks up their sleeves, like incinerating objects and people who get in their way.

 

It also turns out the inhabitants of hell lie and that things on Earth are not what they appear. Nor are things in her own world, Sable discovers, as she battles to complete her mission before time runs out and it's impossible to send the demon back.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Naomi Bellina
• Release date: Aug 21, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393511489

Book preview

Chapter One

April, North Carolina, Monday night

One minute I was surrounded by white light and the scent of lavender. The next minute I was on my back in the dirt with a guy straddling me and pounding my chest.

You awake? You alive? Shit.

Hard to see much in the dark, but the full moon shining through the oak trees showed me his brown eyes, open wide and filled with fear.

You’re alive. Jeez, woman. He took his hands away and leaned back on his heels.

He smelled like garlic and motor oil, and he needed to get the hell off of me because a violent churning in my stomach meant ...

Move. I shoved him and rolled to my side.

He did, fast enough to get out of the way while I hurled the contents of my stomach onto the ground. I made my way to my hands and knees and retched a little more.

Here. The guy tapped my shoulder. Water.

I took the bottle he offered, rinsed and spit, then drank. A chunk of something went down my throat and I almost puked again. Rinse, spit, rinse, spit. Hope he didn’t want the bottle back.

A loud pop like a gunshot and a flash of light to my left made me swivel my head and instantly regret the move as my gut reacted by gurgling another warning.

The man looked in that direction too. What was that? Are you alone out here? he asked.

As far as I know. Did you see something?

I don’t know. He assumed a fighting stance, legs slightly spread, hands curled in fists at his side, then turned in a slow circle, studying the woods around us.

We both stayed silent for a moment as he continued to scan the area. I pulled in deep breaths, trying to convince my gut to settle down.

An animal, the man said and turned back to me. Are you all right?

No. Duh. He’d just pulled me out of a running car filled with carbon monoxide.

Why the hell did you do that? I asked.

Do what?

Stick your nose in my business. I stood, wobbled a little, but I could stay upright and possibly walk.

You about died. I saved you, he said.

I about died because I wanted to. I moved toward my car. Pretty damn obvious, dude. What are you doing out here in these woods anyway?

I’d chosen this parking area that accessed a hiking trail on the Blue Ridge Parkway in North Carolina because no one came here at night. No one was supposed to, anyway.

It would have been easier to fill up a garage with carbon monoxide, but I lived in an apartment and didn’t have one. I thought about using a friend’s place or renting a storage unit, but that meant someone would be in for a super-crappy day when they found my dead body in the morning. I didn’t want to be the cause of someone having a super-crappy day.

I come here between calls, he said. You need to get medical attention.

I walked back to my car, and he didn’t follow, which was good because I was likely to punch him. It’d taken every ounce of courage I could muster to set this up, and he’d ruined it. Now my car had holes in the exhaust system and floor, my stomach was about to turn inside out and my head hurt like a son of a bitch.

And I was still alive.

Get the hell out of here and leave me alone. I reached my car and leaned on it. He’d turned off the ignition and left the door open, but it still stank like poison.

I’ll take you to the hospital. Come on. He gestured with his hand.

I reached into the glove box, pulled out the Glock 19 I’d stolen/borrowed from my dad in case I needed a plan B (Dad had a buttload of firearms; he’d never miss this one), and pointed it at the guy. My arm shook, but I held it steady enough. I said get out of here. Now.

He raised his hands. Okay. Take it easy. I’m going. You can keep the water.

His hands remained in the air as he backed up slowly. Good. He wasn’t an idiot hero type. Just a knight in a stained T-shirt instead of shining armor, trying to rescue the girl. Except this girl didn’t need rescuing.

I didn’t lower the gun until the red glow of his truck taillights disappeared. When I did let my arm fall, it shook. I sat back down in the car. Okay, no biggie. Shut the doors, crank it up, finish the job. I could do it. That was the only way. Who was I kidding? There was no plan B. I totally couldn’t put a gun in my mouth. The knight wouldn’t come back again and stop me. Would he?

An owl hooted, and the wind blew a scent of wet leaves my way, the smell of strolls with Jasper, the world’s weirdest cat, who liked to go for walks on a leash in the woods.

Step out of the car, would you please?

Holy crap! I about broke my neck swiveling toward a voice that came from the entrance to the parking area. A man stood far enough away I couldn’t see him clearly, just an outline. I slid all the way inside, shut my car door and locked it. He stepped closer.

Not the same dude that screwed up my plan. This guy was tall, blond, wearing tight black jeans and a long-sleeve black shirt. I didn’t see another vehicle. Where the hell did he come from?

Get away. I’m calling the police, I yelled through the closed window. I reached for my phone. Oh yeah. I didn’t have a phone. Since I’d planned to die that night, I’d canceled my contract and told my carrier to stick their overpriced rates up their butts.

One of the best moments I’d had while preparing for my death.

No phone, but I did have a gun. I pointed it at the man. I said get away. I called the cops. Louder this time to make sure he heard me. I coughed. Still exhaust fumes trapped in the car.

Sable. Let’s talk. He didn’t appear to yell, but I heard his deep voice just fine.

My gun suddenly disappeared, reappeared in his hands and the door locks clicked. He opened my door and held it.

I’m not going to hurt you. Come on out here.

I yanked the door away from him, but it didn’t move and neither did he. Okay. He knew my name and had some freaky trick to steal my gun, and he was twice my size. Bad news. But he wasn’t grabbing me, just standing there waiting.

I’ll scream. Sure, that would work in the middle of nowhere.

No one will hear you. Please come out. I promise not to touch you. He backed up a step.

Since I was out of options, I exited the car. What do you want? And how do you know my name?

I know many things, and what I want is your help. When you died ...

I died?

Yes, for a few moments. As you came back, a demon followed you to Earth. You saw and heard him, didn’t you?

I saw and heard something. An animal.

No, it was a demon. Now you have to send him back.

The guy stood there telling me this, perfectly calm, his facial expression pleasant like how you’d look if you were at a party explaining a recipe for killer guacamole.

A demon. And I suppose you’re Lucifer?

He waved his hand, the one not holding the gun. Some call me that.

I pinched myself, like all the people in books do when they want to make sure they’re not dreaming. It hurt.

This is a joke, right? Those idiots at Latham put you up to this, hired you to follow me and scare the shit out of me.

The guys I worked with at my temp job at Latham—used to work with—were big on practical jokes … but not really smart enough to pull this off, and I didn’t tell anyone about my plans. Where was this dude’s car?

Wrong. I’m from hell, not Latham, and you, my dear, better start paying attention.

If you’re from hell then ...

He strode several yards away, whirled toward the tree line and flung a hand upward. The lower leaves burst into flame.

Shit! Stop it! You’ll burn down the woods. I hurried toward him.

He waved his hand again, and the fire went out. Awww, a tree-hugger. So sweet. All right, I’ll leave the trees alone. This won’t damage anything. Watch.

Another twirl of his hand and the ground in front of us sparked brightly. I stumbled backward as he moved, pointing his index finger at the dirt in various spots that immediately caught fire.

Stop! The wind will catch it. I hit him on the shoulder.

He turned to glare at me, and time stopped. Black eyes, like pools of oil, stared into mine. I shivered, and my stomach clenched. Please don’t let me puke on the shoes of a guy who could start fire with his hands.

Don’t hit me, you miserable human. What do you care about a few trees? You have so little respect for life, you tried to end yours.

Fuck you. What I do is none of your business.

OMG, stop talking. Fire. He can start fire with his hands, remember?

He surprised me by laughing, then waving his hand again. The flames went out.

Well. Looks like you have a bit of life left in you after all.

You don’t know me.

No, I don’t. Those black eyes were now blue and staring at me intently. But I suspect you’ll be able to do what’s needed. Send that demon back to hell.

I rubbed my forehead. I died and went to hell and a demon followed me back here. Is that what you’re telling me?

Yes, exactly. So glad you’re keeping up.

I went to hell. Seriously?

That couldn’t be right. I wasn’t a bad person. I helped out at the animal shelter, bought extra canned goods for the food pantry, and gave money when I could to a local group that took care of seniors. Sure, I lied now and then, cursed way more than was ladylike, and broke several laws throughout my life but…the accident. That’s what got me sent to hell and the reason I was ending my life in the first place.

Shit. I thought sure all the good I’d done would outweigh that one incident.

Oh, don’t look so horrified. There are various degrees of heaven and hell, as you humans call the afterlife. It’s not really divided like that. There are ... levels of eternity, for lack of a better word.

What level did I go to?

We really don’t have time to discuss this now. The demon is loose and must be caught quickly. Lucifer brushed off the sleeve of his shirt, all calm again.

Fuck me. This was not happening. I passed out and was having a really lucid dream. But I smelled smoke from the leaves that had burned, and the pain in my head was too real. And I still tasted bile in my throat. Blech.

Why should I help you?

Because ... He frowned. You don’t want a demon running around on Earth, do you?

I was killing myself, dude. I don’t give a shit what happens on Earth.

Surely there’s someone here you care about. Someone you don’t want attacked by a demon.

Nope. There’s no one I care about here. I blanked out the faces that popped into my mind. Why are the demons attacking Earth?

They’re not actually attacking you. Yet. They’re coming back to Earth to take care of unfinished business, like revenge and such. This demon’s name is Kurt. As a human, he scammed a lot of innocent people out of their money. Their life savings.

Again, don’t really care.

Lucifer sighed, a sound like dry leaves scraping on the sidewalk. I shivered again.

If you help send the demon back, I’ll see about having you put in a lesser section of hell.

See about? Aren’t you in charge? And why don’t you go after this demon yourself?

Yeah, I had to be out of my mind, arguing with the devil. Or a crazy man who thought he was the devil. But what else was I supposed to do? Pretty sure he could outrun me if I bolted, and he’d somehow snatched my only weapon. I took a backward step to my car.

There are rules in hell. I’m only able to stay on Earth in human form for a limited period at a time, and this demon needs to be caught quickly. There was a man here with you earlier, correct?

Yes.

"When a demon comes to Earth, they take over a human body. This demon may have occupied that man’s body.