Rescued by a God I Didn't Know, a Memoir (Book 2)

By P.M. Robins

Rescued by A God I Didn't Know: The second book in a two-part memoir, follows Candy Canes and Coke.

If you want to believe in second chances…
If you want to believe that God can change your life…
If you need an example of "if she can, I can…"

You'll find inspiration in this true story.

Strong woman rising: a memoir of a well-meaning, divorced woman, mother of three and her desperate struggle to break free from a destructive 25-year journey to claim the life she was meant to live. No longer wanting to hide from her fears, she asks God for help, and it changes her life!

That's all it took for Momi to change her trajectory: make a choice, commit to that choice; and forbid fear to rob her from her God given gifts.

She realizes, her God, since she was a child, has saved her over and over again to live her destiny.

This is one woman's testimony of what God can do, in spite of it all, and when you allow Him too. She embraced her fears and her hardships, then let it go, and watched it transform her life.

Is it true that a single choice can change your life?

Find out!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Momi Robins-Makaila
• Release date: Aug 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781386623830

Book preview

by

P.M. Robins

Copyright © 2020 Momi Robins-Makaila.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the website address contact form.

Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and places are products of the author’s imagination.

Front cover image by Masina Sausi.

Printed in the United States of America. First printing edition 2020.

Momi Robins-Makaila

Momilani Enterprises

Kapolei, Hawaii, 96707

www.momirobins.com

Scripture taken from NIV, New Living Translation or the English Standard Version from www.biblos.com

WITH GRATITUDE,

To God, whom all things are possible

To my husband, the one God sent to me,

the one who sent me to God

To my children, who will always be my motivation

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FOREWORD

John Bunyon, in his allegory The Pilgrims Progress, envisioned the Christian life as a sojourn through travail in which one becomes conformed to the image of Christ. Momi grants us a seat next to her as she travels through her own realities in the City of Destruction called life. Her own journey as a mom, a participant in an abusive relationship, and as a redeemed child of God reminds us that we are all in need of guidance along life's path. There are no shortcuts or superhighways to the Celestial City. Momi’s plight is all-too real.

For the person who knows the difficulties of human existence, Momi shares her own weakness and frailty against the toughest of life’s problems. She does not shrink from exposing her vulnerability and her dark questions. What does it mean to see one’s self through the eyes of an abusive husband? How does one face the impotence of a loving mother for a self-destructive child? How does one know right from wrong about the ambiguous questions of this life?

Bunyon’s allegory of the Pilgrim and his attendants on the journey, Obstinate and Pliable, is very much Momi’s experience.

She works to shed the old clothes of her former life through her struggles while introducing her readers to the joys and difficulties of being a transformed child of Jesus Christ. There are still many other helpers along life's way. We are not shielded from the realities of its lonely journey.

The most significant difference between Bunyon’s Pilgrim and Momi’s pilgrimage is that her journey continues. The reality of the human experience is that one continues to travel as long as she continues to live. Paul emphasizes the pilgrim's journey in his Philippian letter, 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 141 press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Rescued by a God I Didn’t Know is a stop along Momi’s way to a transformed and changed life. We learn that each day is a full twenty-four hours with many others like it. Life is not a two-hour drama or a thirty-minute TV show. Every minute bears the pain and the hope of those that preceded it and those to come. The end isn’t written for Momi’s story. There is more to come.

Dr. Russell McConnell, PhD

PROLOGUE

With God all things are possible. With His help I am becoming a person I love. It sure took me long enough.

I am a thirty-nine-year-old Christian woman, a disciple of Christ. I am proud to be Hawaiian. I like being Hawaiian-enough that I am able to appreciate the kinky hair that comes with being Hawaiian, just not so much on humid or rainy days.

I know my place in this world. I am important, but there are many things greater than me.

I am a mother, blessed with three children, Brody, Brianna, and Bree, and additionally blessed with three stepchildren. It’s not my right to use their names in this book, so I won’t. I am the new wife of a man I love, respect, and adore. My husband, Kyle, and I are from Hawaii, but we reside in Arizona. I’ll talk about Kyle a great deal in this book. Ex-wife is another title I hold. I’ll be speaking about my ex-husband as well and will refer to him as Kevin. Although I don't have permission to use his birth name in this book, it won’t matter. The words in this book won’t hurt anyone. This book is about honesty, forgiveness, and healing-and how I found it.

My children-my gifts from God-my flesh and blood deserve to be treated with respect and compassion, and I try to give it to them. I am a corrector and enforcer when I need to be, and a nurturer and encourager when they need me to be. I set expectations and do all I can to give my children the tools they need to meet them. After about an hour of homework help, I get frustrated, even though I’m a teacher. No matter how hard I coach myself, I haven't been able to change that. On occasion, when upset, I've sworn at them.

During the writing of this book, I had a physical altercation with my middle daughter that I felt was necessary at the time, yet I am not proud of being there in that moment. I pray that I can move farther and farther away from that part of me.

I do a better job now of spending quality moments with my children than I have ever done, and for all the right reasons. I try to teach them to be God-loving Christians, but it’s difficult. I am still learning what that is, myself. I send letters and cards to my son regularly. I recognize that I could write more. The fact that my daughter-in-law is the one who reads my letters to my son is a little discouraging, but I remain faithful.

The relationship I have with my mom, whom I love and admire, is very much appreciated. I love my dad, but I don’t have a relationship with him. I hope that changes one day. I have no regrets for what I have done with my life, as my actions have brought me to the place where I am right now. I keep getting better.

At least once a week, I take time for myself. If I need solitude with God, or rest, or retail therapy, or a Frappuccino at Starbucks, or a weekend getaway with a friend in Vegas, I take it. I feel no guilt, even though my husband playfully attempts to guilt me.

The bumps on my body-the ripples, wrinkles, and physical reminders of having borne children-bother me, but I know God created me in his image, so I must be beautiful. Although if I were offered the opportunity to surgically enhance the beauty with which God blessed me, I’d take that offer-in a heartbeat.

It’s important that I take care of the temple God gave me. I pray and have daily conversations with Jesus. I engage in regular heart-healthy anaerobic and aerobic activities-most times. I don't eat like a health fanatic. I’ll indulge in cookies or fast food, but I rarely have soda. I eat whole wheat whenever I can. My favorite afternoon would include a grilled chicken Cobb salad, a tall glass of unsweetened iced tea with Splenda, a book, and two hours at the gym or at Paradise Bakery or Starbucks. I'm a happy camper. When I stress about things, I still desperately want to throw up. It takes every ounce of me not to. Regular exercise helps.

I consume alcoholic beverages very rarely, and I am responsible when I do. I can't remember the last time I’ve gotten drunk and behaved ridiculously.

I love being alone. I love being with people too.

I no longer blame anyone else for the problems I have. I know my problems are the result of mistakes, poor choices, or a failure to consult with Jesus. They offer opportunities for growth.

In fits of anger and rage, I cry, get on my knees, and pray.

On occasion, I take things personally when I shouldn’t. I struggle with that. Deep down, I know constructive criticism is people’s own opinions rather than an accredited evaluation of my personal worth. God is the only one who has the right to judge me, and I know he loves me. Sometimes I worry about what others think of me, but not enough to stop me from doing what I know is right.

There are times when I don't have the strength to say exactly what should be said. On those occasions, I pray about it and wait for God to inspire me. I try to share my feelings with those with whom they need to be shared. Sometimes it’s excruciatingly scary. Crying helps me get through it. My left eye twitches; I fidget, cross my legs, right over left and left-over right, until I get cramps, but I persevere. I share my feelings, and sometimes people criticize me for it. I am worthy; my opinions matter, because I am the daughter of a King.

I am self-righteous, stubborn, judgmental, and impatient. I cry for everything, and God loves me in spite of it. I’ll never be free of sin, but that’s human nature. Adam and Eve ruined that one for us.

Sometimes I worry about not having enough money to make the rent, pay my car payment, and buy food, but when I worry, I go straight to scripture, and it comforts me. Scripture is infused with God’s promises to me and His love for me. He will provide for all my needs. What’s the worst that could happen? They take the house. They take my truck. That’s happened to me. I got through it.

Since writing my last book, a major lesson I’ve learned is that fear is not of God. Intellectually I know it, yet I still struggle. Fear comes from the devil. When he tries to hurt me, I rebuke it with the power of the Holy Spirit. My father-in-law taught me that.

Before I began my relationship with Jesus, I was inflicted with crippling low self-esteem-the work of the devil. He feasted on my soul, but not anymore. It’s not totally gone. I will probably always fight that battle.

But I am exactly where I need to be.

My relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit grows every day.

I hope my testimony to the awesome power of our mighty, merciful, forgiving, loving God, who created me, then re-created me, will bring support for others out there looking for the peace I found in our Lord. This story is the story of my truth and nothing but my truth, so help me God. The only consequences to come of this book are acceptance, healing, and love. I can send this book out into the world with no fear.

Thank you for taking the time to share in my story. God bless you and keep you always.       Momi

Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. -Voltair

INTRODUCTION

Rescued by a God I Didn’t Know comes after Candy Canes and Coke, my very first book. If you’ve read Candy Canes and Coke, thank you. Since then, God has worked miracles in my life. All I did to receive His grace was call upon Him. Candy Canes and Coke chronicled the journey I took to escape the trappings of a twenty-five-year dysfunctional relationship. I also authored a second book, Brown Skin White World. Brown Skin White World is Candy Canes and Coke rewritten from my perspective as a Hawaiian woman. Writing that book helped me to reconcile who I am as a part Hawaiian and all Christian woman. I finally understand how I can be both. I didn’t publish Brown Skin White World for the public. That was just for me.

The day Candy Canes and Coke was released, I expected God to erase the twenty-five years of drama and give me the new life I deserved. I worked hard writing the book, but the peace never came. When I realized peace wasn’t on its way, I reached out to God. He didn’t answer. How could He? He didn’t know me. I didn’t know Him. At least that’s what I thought. Going to Sunday school and church with Grandma when I was thirteen and attending services off and on for the remainder of my life did not constitute a relationship. That’s when I realized I had more work to do. Writing the book was just the beginning. When I realized that, my relationship with God began. I hope that I do a good job writing this book so you can take any of the lessons I've learned and apply them to your life in whatever way fits. If you’re suffering, I hope you realize you're not alone. We all have a story. Together we can help one another improve the endings. If you’re one of those perfect people who has everything together, this book may not be for you. If that’s the case, congratulations! Good