Trilogy: Wackier than the First One or is it the Second One?

By Wakii Reeder

May the fourth be with you; even though it has not been written yet!

 

The book includes the stories of

(1)Sherlock Holmes and the Wicked Wizard of Oz

(2) Moby Leviathan Dick, or the Wanted Cowboy Outlaw

(3) Bartleby the Punter

 

WARNING: Reading this book will make you want to fly into space only to drink pickle juice!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Spiced Coffee Publishing
• Release date: Aug 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393908166

Wakii Reeder

Wakii Reeder likes to read the classics.  After the read, he like to turn them inside out and outside in, sack them up high and make them tumble on down.  After some tears, sweat, and blood (mostly from paper cuts), he tries to produce literature that will make his readers cherish it for the rest of their lives or want him to donate his organs or both. Classic authors who have influenced Wakii include (but not limited to): L. Frank Baum, Carlo Collodi, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Washington Irving, Herman Melville, Edgar Allan Poe, Robert Louis Stevenson, and Mark Twain.

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Wakii Reeder

COPYRIGHT © 2020 Thomas Mangan

All rights reserved.

No part of this story or accompanied literature may be reproduced without permission in writing from the author.

May the fourth be with you;

even though it has not been written yet!

Sherlock Holmes and the Wicked Wizard of Oz

By Wakii Reeder & Fickal MacSciance

...as the leader of the wolves came on the Tin Woodman swung his arm and chopped the wolf’s head from its body, so that it immediately died.

-L. Frank Baum (The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, 1900)

To the writers who inspired me to write this book.

First & Baker Street: Kansas

Holmes reached into his inside pocket of his jacket and took out his long pipe.  With slightly yellowed fingers, he packed and lit his pipe.  After taking a few long and cancerous puffs, he looked at Watson.

How was your appreciation for the American football game?

Well Holmes, the crowd was enthusiastic.  I can see how our British rugby has influenced America.  Did you play in your old-school days?

No, Watson.  I watched most games, but my sport of choice was boxing.

Ah, yes.  I recall you told me.

Did you know this rivalry dates to before these yanks fought their own civil war?

Not at all.

Elementary, Watson.  Missouri and Kansas had battles over slavery.  After the civil war ended, the two states started taking out their bloody hostility on the football field instead.

The driver was absorbed in his reading of Popeye the Sailor Man in the newspaper’s comics strips, when he smelled Sherlock Holmes.  He briskly stopped reading and opened the car door.

Mr. Pioneer is eager to meet the two of you, the driver stated out of the corner of his mouth while driving 93 miles (149.7 km) per hour.  He kept shifting his view from the road to the rearview mirror to look at his passengers.

I too, am just as keen to meet him, Watson stated while wiping some Kansas grey dust from his bowler hat.

Neither men were concerned about the car speed, so the drive lasted a short while.  The driver turned into the largest house in town, surrounded by much smaller houses.  With incredible speed, the driver swiftly got out from his seat to open the car door.  Both men noticed the driver wearing a red pin with a shiny grey lightning bolt running through it.  As soon as Holmes and Watson stepped from the car, the driver with just as much haste, jumped back in the car (Dukes of Hazard style) and burnt rubber out of the driveway.  As the men neared the house entrance, a butler wearing a half mustache to the left side of the face and a monocle glass on the right, opened the door.  He was wearing an all grey suit.

This way gentlemen, the butler groaned as if it was the least exiting thing in the universe that he could be doing at the time.  Unlike the diver, the butler had no value for hustle.  Like a slug, his legs seemed to drag along the fine carpet.  Each lift of his knee seemed to take longer than the previous lift.  His eyes drooped up at the two as he opened the door.  With one arm across his body, he again groaned, Mr. Pioneer will see you soon.  Please wait here.

The two partners looked at each other as the door shut.  What do you make of the butler, Mr. Holmes?

Clearly, my dear Watson, the man suffers from not being able to finish what he starts.  He started to shave his mustache off but only went half way.  Perhaps due to laziness as it appears that any movement for him to be unbearable.  If I didn’t know any better, I would say that the reason he is wearing a monocle glass is because he is too lazy to buy a second lens.

The two men chippered with laughter as a plump man with a nine-inch (22.86 cm) cigar protruding from his mouth enters the room.  Well, well, well, well, if it isn’t the famous Detective Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Doctor John Watson.  It’s dang good to finally meet you IN THE FLESH.

The same, likewise, Mr. Pioneer.  By the way, have you finished much writing this late in the day?

Ha, Sherlock!  Your reputation is as all get out ... and please call me Aberdeen.  Now tell me, how did you know?

You have a distinguished deep indentation on your pointer finger which makes you left handed as well.

Well, this southpaw is as happy as a hog in slops, to have hired you.

We likewise appreciate the case.  It is not often we travel outside London, let alone England.

Well, I also wanted to hire Inspector Baynes from the Surrey Police Force along with you boys, but he couldn’t take time off.

Ah yes, Baynes.  He is very skilled indeed but we best work separate.  Doc Watson is the best partner one needs.

Why, thank you for the complement Mr. Holmes.

Well ain’t you two boys, two peas in a pod.  Now let’s not beat around the bush and let’s get down to business.

Yes, yes. Rightfully so.

"You see, every so often we get a big storm here in Kansas.  But, often when this occurs I lose one of my rentals.

So you say it destroys it? Sherlock stated, as it seemed like it took forever to light his pipe, due to his nicotine withdrawal. 

Well there is nothing usual about that, Aberdeen. Watson chimed in, With all, your tornados in Kansas.

No, No, boys. When I say I lose my rentals, I am not saying that I have a destroyed building.  I am saying that it is totally gone.  All that is left is a few broken pipes sticking out of the ground.

This is quite peculiar indeed. Aberdeen, I would like a map of the region where you own your rentals.  I would like an ‘X’ on the locations of your lost rentals and an ‘O’ over the unaffected rentals.

After making and studying the map, Sherlock concluded which rentals would be more likely to be ‘targeted’ next.  Pointing at the map, Sherlock looked at Aberdeen, Are any of these three rentals unoccupied at the moment?

Unknowingly, with his middle finger, Aberdeen pointed