Our Sexy Duo Paris Police Inspectors Frieda and Gitta Solve Eight Cases

By Erich von Neff

Members of the French Resistance during World War II, then Paris police inspectors Frieda and Gitta untroubled by space and time track down vicious criminals: Colonel Hans von Wirth, Mr. Sanders, the card sharp, the baroness Grede von Näfels, Hans Drulingen... They wear boots with spurs. Their black Citroën approaches. Who will be next?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Erich von Neff
• Release date: Jul 25, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005122898

Erich von Neff

Erich von Neff is a San Francisco longshoreman. He received his masters degree in philosophy from San Francisco State University and was a graduate research student at the University of Dundee Scotland.Erich von Neff is well known on the French avant-garde and mainstream literary scenes. He is a member of the Poetes Francais ,La Societes des Poetes et Artistes de France, Vice Chancelier de la Federation Poetique de Saint Venance Fortunat, and Membre d'honneur du Caveau Stephanois.He has had the following publications in France (en français):Poems: 1303Short Stories: 318Small press books 9Books 1Prix (Prizes) 26Erich von Neff's novel "Prostitutees au bord de La Route" (Prostitutes by the Side of the Road) was published by "Cashiers de Nuit" (1999) with a grant from Centre Region des Lettres de Basse-Normandie.Erich von Neff's book of poems "Les Putains Cocainomanes" (The Cocaine Whores) was published by Cahiers du Nuit, 1998. "Les Putains Cocainomanes " was discussed on 96.2 FM, Paris, 1998 by Marie-Andre Balbastre, Poem # 45 was read.Several poems from "Les Putains Cocainomanes "were read at the Cafe Montmarte in Paris,2010. Several poems from "Les Yeux qui faiblissent ont faim de la vigilance eternelle de la verite "were read at the Cafe Au soleil de la Butte in Paris, 2014. Poems from " Un Cube chrome a l'interieur d'une coquille d'oeuf cassee" were read at the Cafe Au soleil de la butte" in Paris 2014.A Trophée Victor Hugo was awarded to Erich von Neff's novel "Une Lancia rouge Devale Lombard Street a tombeau ouvert," (The Red Lancia Roars Down Lombard Street), 1998. Several poems from my "Le Puttane della cocaina" (The Cocaine Whores) were read by Giulia Lombardo at the Caffe Litterario in Rome, at the Caffe Palatennistavolo,Teni Italy & Caffe degli artisti in Milan, Bookbar in Rome, Bibliocafe in Rome , and in five other Italian cafes in Italy,2014. Several poems from my "Le Puttane della cocaina" were read by Giulia Lombardo at the Caffe Palatennistavolo,Terni Italy in February ,6 readings in May 2015, 3 readings in June 2015, 2 readings in July, 4 readings in August, 4 readings in September,3 readings in October, 5 readings in December, 2015. 2 readings of my "Le Puttane dela cocaina"were read by Giulia Lombardo at the,Caffe Palatennistavolo,Terni Italy, January 2016. 2 readings of my "Le Puttane della cocaina" were read by Giulia Lombardo at the Caffe Palatennistavolo, February 2016. My poetry book "Un Cube Chrome a L'Interieur d'une Coquille d'Oeut Cassee "was published by Henri Tramoy editeur of Soleils et Cendre, France,2016. In 2018, 30 short stories and 3 poems were published in Russian magazines. In 2019 my book of poems Le Cabaret de la Souris Rugissante ( The Cabaret of the Roaring Mouse) was published by Atlier de l'agnew, editor Francoise Favretto. Le Cabaret de la Souis Rugissante was awarded a Trophee Edgar Allen Poe by Simone Gabriel editor of Cepal magazine.Le Cabaret de la Souris Rugissante was read by my translattor Jean Hautepierre at L'Autre Livre bookstore in Paris on September 5th.It was also read by Jean Hautepierre at the Cafe de la Marie in Paris on October 15th. It was read by the French actor Sebastien Bidault at the Bar-Restaurant du Palais in Paris on December 18th. There were four good reviews. In 2023 6 Affaires Resolues par Frieda et Gitta was published by Editions Unicite.

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Our Sexy Duo Paris Police Inspectors Frieda and Gitta

Solve Eight Cases

by Erich von Neff

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Published by:

Erich von Neff at Smashwords

© 2024 by Erich von Neff

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Summary

Members of the French Resistance during World War II, then Paris police inspectors Frieda and Gitta untroubled by space and time track down vicious criminals: Colonel Hans von Wirth, Mr. Sanders, the card sharp, the baroness Grede von Näfels, Hans Drulingen… They wear boots with spurs. Their black Citroën approaches. Who will be next?

Contents

1. The Case of the Poison Dart

2. The Man Who Saw Too Clearly

3. The Heist

4. Turning the Tables

5. The Stolen Wines

6. Anschauliche Geometrie and the Case of the Dead Jesuit

7. The Barge

8. The Smuggled Jewels

About the author

The Case of the Poison Dart

Occupied Paris, 1942. In a wine cellar beneath the Blue Boar restaurant the Resistance meets. One dim lightbulb illuminates the room.

Put that damn cigarette out, demanded Paul.

What for? asked Yves.

Because someone in the restaurant might smell it.

They can tell the difference between my cigarette and theirs?

No, there might be cracks in the ceiling, then they will see smoke coming through the floor.

What cracks?

Someone grabs the cigarette and snuffs it out.

Okay, Paul, you’re the boss.

For now unless I’m captured.

Listen comrades as I was saying too many of us have disappeared, taken by the Germans and tortured by Colonel Hans von Wirth.

We all know that, said Roy, But what are we going to do about it?

We’ve been ordered to kill him.

By whom?

You know damn well I can’t tell you.

But what about reprisals? God knows how many innocent Frenchmen will be rounded up and shot?

The way I see it, said Laurent, is that the Germans have failed to take Moscow. The war will be over soon.

That’s ridiculous, said Gitta, the Germans can go into the interior of Russia and worry about Moscow later.

All this is beside the point, said Paul, the war is continuing and Colonel Hans von Wirth must be killed.

You Serge were a sniper during the Great War. You’ve been assigned.

No vote?

Why a vote? You’re the only sniper. You’ve got nine days to shadow him to see where you can get a good clean shot.

The Resistance wants Colonel Hans von Wirth dead. But why by rifle? asked Frieda.

Well, how else?

By poison.

And where is the poison?

I think I know someone.

Just like a woman, Paul said sharply.

We’re all comrades, Gitta said reminding him.

Alright then comrades, Paul said sarcastically, We’re in the wine cellar, let’s drink.

There is only one boring red wine left for us, observed Roy.

So?

Down the hatch comrades.

*****

In the Devil’s Arm restaurant not far from the center of Paris. Frieda and Gitta just finished la soupe à l'oignon (onion soup).

Frieda: Waiter that soup was fantastic.

Yes, a good chef soon has a reputation.

We’ve heard of him. That’s why we’re here.

We’d like to compliment him. May we?

But of course, Ben always likes to see pretty girls.

The kitchen: Ben’s domain.

To Frieda and Gitta the kitchen seemed chaos. Cooks were slicing vegetables, pots were boiling, frying pans were sizzling.

Well ladies, what brings you here? I’m Bayani, but you may call me Ben.

We’d like to compliment you on your soupe à l'oignon.

Thank you, Ben said in a Tagalog accent that Gitta found pleasing.

As a sailor and usually a cook I am constantly learning.

Frieda knew she couldn’t talk here so she had prepared a note. She handed it to him, knowing that Ben could turn them into the Germans. She had sized Ben up and decided to take a chance. But just because he wouldn’t turn them it did not mean he would respond.

We’ve made some comments on your soupe à l'oignon. Are these some of the ingredients? asked Frieda. She handed him the note. It read: We would like to meet you someplace private. This is very important. Please write a place and time.

She handed him a pencil. The sous-chef and the cooks pretended not to notice though they were watching, listening.

Frieda and Gitta waited and waited. Really it was just a few minutes, but time seemed to drag on. Would Ben turn them into the Germans? If not would he even answer?

Suddenly Ben began to write, he then quickly handed the note back to Frieda.

You’ve got a couple of ingredients wrong, Ben said sharply. Now I must ask you to leave. I need privacy when I cook. I don’t like customers interfering.

A couple of the cooks started laughing. Frieda and Gitta felt utterly humiliated as they left, and the laughter and the smirk of the sous-chef only rubbed it in. After they had gone a little distance Gitta looked at Ben’s note. There was an address and underneath it read: Meet me in three hours.

*****

Three hours later in Ben’s apartment.

Frieda and Gitta looked around the room. There was a cross on the wall, what looked like a machete on the dresser, and a beautifully carved figurine of a naked Filipina woman.

If you’re looking for a photograph of General Douglas MacArthur you won’t find it, Ben said. For three years I fought against the Americans under his father Arthur MacArthur and other generals.

I thought that the American war with Spain ended quite quickly, said Gitta.

True about the American war with Spain. But the American war against the Filipinos lasted three years. They killed 300,000 of us. But not me. Ben looked over at the dresser. That’s my bolo knife. I carved that Filipina woman with it. And yes those are bloodstains on it.

Maybe we shouldn’t have come here, Gitta said.

Of course you should. Times have changed. The Japanese have invaded the Philippines, and the Americans are on our side. I will try to help you if I can. But before I begin I want to make one thing clear. Tagalog is the equal of French.

You look surprised.

The equal of French? questioned Gitta.

I speak the truth. As a sailor for forty years I have encounted many languages: Mayan, Quechua, the native language of Perú, Aleut, the language of the Eskimos, and many other languages.

And food? Yes, French food is good, but there are dishes in South America that put French food to shame.

I’ve gone on a bit, said Ben, I just think you French are too arrogant.

Sometime we are, admitted Frieda. You certainly speak French with hardly an accent.

After forty years at sea I pick up languages quickly.

Now tell me your names and why you came here.

I’m Frieda.

And I’m Gitta.

There is a German officer we want killed. But as you know if he is shot, there will be reprisals.

So?

Maybe poison. We’ve heard that Filipinos know poison.

Some years ago certain initiated Filipinos did know poison, but now the art is almost lost.

Sorry we wasted your time.

No, listen. My father was an arrogant man from Spain, but my mother was an indigenous woman from the provinces. She taught me poisons and, at some point, I have reason to believe that she poisoned her abusive husband. Anyway, she got the house and small farm.

Many of these poisons cannot be made in France, but some can. They are very lethal. You cannot handle them.

We understand.

There is however one you can handle. I have already killed with it.

Come back at the same time tomorrow evening.

*****

In the wine cellar of the Blue Boar restaurant.

Paul: Comrades Colonel Hans von Wirth must be killed in three days.

Serge, how’s your rifle?

I’ve got a German sniper rifle one of my friends managed to steal.

Paul: Good. Much better than our French rifles.

Gitta: If you shoot the Colonel, there will be reprisals. Innocent French citizens will be rounded up and shot.

Paul, impatiently: Well, have you got a better idea?

Gitta: We will poison him.

Paul: You’d better do it in two days.

*****

Ben’s apartment.

Before we begin, asked Frieda, We’d like to know how you ended up in France?

I was a cook on a ship sailing for New York, but then war came and I was stranded in France. No problem, because of my father I have a Spanish passport. During my long layover I was working as a sous-chef. One night the Germans came and took the chef away. They gave no reason, and so I became the chef. Whenever I have a layover in any port I go to a restaurant and get work. If not as a cook, I do anything, washing dishes, peeling potatoes, cutting vegetables. I’ve learned so much.

Now about the poison? asked Gitta.

Yes, I’ve been thinking it over. These poisons are very dangerous, however there is one that you can handle without endangering yourselves.

See these two cigars?

Yes.

The one on the right is a Corona from the Philippines. The one on the left is a Habano from Cuba. Both have a narrow tube running through the middle of them. Inside the Corona is a small dart. Basically the cigars are blow guns. The Corona cigar already has a poison dart in it. For safety sake there are small plugs on either end.

What about the Habano cigar? asked Frieda.

I’m getting to that.

"The Habano cigar is for practice. Let me show you. See,