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    69 Impossible Things to Never, Ever Do
    69 Impossible Things to Never, Ever Do
    69 Impossible Things to Never, Ever Do
    Ebook121 pages21 minutes

    69 Impossible Things to Never, Ever Do

    By D.A. Simants

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    About this ebook

    Inspired by works of Dadaism such as Grapefruit by Yoko Ono, 69 Impossible Things to Never, Ever Do is an absurd, witty, and soulful exploration of a myriad of topics, from the meaninglessness of life to lobster discos. As witty as it is sad, as outrageous as it is useless, the only rule is to never, ever do anything this poetry book recommends.

     

    Includes: 

    • 69 main-work poems 
    • 13 'extra' poems and short stories 
    • 26 original illustrations 
    • Materials originally published by the Dragon Poetry Review, The Lindenwood Review, and Seven CirclePress, the rights to which reverted to the author upon publication
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherD.A. Simants
    Release dateJun 4, 2020
    ISBN9781393031949
    69 Impossible Things to Never, Ever Do

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      Book preview

      69 Impossible Things to Never, Ever Do - D.A. Simants

      For Allisyn Snyder,

      José Saramago,

      Rick Riordan,

      Ruben Östlund,

      Yoko Ono,

      and everyone else I’ve never met

      Research suggests that human beings are born into the world without clothing

      - The Art Assignment

      1.

      find Time

      Smell it

      Taste it

      Feel it

      See it

      Hear it

      Believe it

      Kill it

      everything stops

      nothing continues

      it’s your fault

      2.

      Bring Kenneth Clark and Andy Warhol back to life

      Hang ‘em over a vat of almond milk

      See if they die, or drink it up

      3.

      Learn language for the first time

      ––––––––

      4.

      replace a man’s penis with a fish

      make sure it’s a man, and make sure it’s a penis

      set him free in the ocean

      observe

      was it worth your time?

      5.

      peel your flesh

      season with garlic, salt, and pepper

      roast over a low flame for 555 million, 324 thousand, 5 hundred and 36 seconds

      enjoy the taste of pain

      savor it

      it bleeds

      6.

      Say every word you don’t know

      7.

      play golf with John Lennon’s skull

      lose

      8.

      Learn about Dadaism

      Turn a bride blue

      Enjoy  It

      Do a Back Flip

      go bald by growing hair

      9.

      extract your soul from your Body

      dip it in Green paint

      create

      10.

      trust them

      11.

      don’t die

      don’t leave

      don’t abandon

      don’t betray

      12.

      become a car

      break down

      don’t come back

      a broken watch is worth nothing

      a broken human is worth everything

      where is the difference?

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