Hope When Life Unravels: Finding God When It Hurts

By Adam B. Dooley

Written by a pastor and father who has walked a painful road, Hope When Life Unravels explores the encouraging, upside-down truths of the book of Job, and other key Bible passages, to remind us of the ways God is present in our pain.

Why does God allow suffering? And why does God seem to go silent when we're in pain? In Hope When Life Unravels, Dr. Adam Dooley, pastor and host of the daily radio broadcast A Better Way, searches for answers to our biggest questions about suffering as he shares his son Carson's story of battling leukemia.

Adam speaks openly about the gut-wrenching struggle his family endured for three years of life-threatening illness and how God met them in their hours of need--even when it wasn't in the ways they wanted. And, along with his own story, Adam takes readers through the story of Job, unpacking insights about God's character, his love, and how we can stay connected to him even during seasons of pain.

Both inspiring and comforting, Hope When Life Unravels invites us to draw closer to a God who is often active in our lives in times when we have trouble seeing him the most.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Zondervan
• Release date: Jun 23, 2020
• ISBN: 9780310359289

Adam B. Dooley

Adam Dooley and his wife, Heather, along with three sons and two daughters, live in Jackson, TN. He is the pastor of Englewood Baptist Church (ebcjackson.org) and the founder of A Better Way Ministries (adamdooley.org). His greatest passion is helping others apply the timeless truths of Scripture to our contemporary culture. Adam has degrees from Clear Creek Baptist Bible College (BA) and The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (MDiv; Ph.D). Follow him @adambdooley.

Book preview

PRAISE FOR

HOPE WHEN LIFE UNRAVELS

Suffering comes to us in many ways, and if we respond to it correctly, it always results in spiritual fruit. In this personalized account of his own suffering when his son was diagnosed with leukemia, Adam Dooley shows us the relevance of Scripture’s promises for us today. Here is help for those who suffer and wonder whether God can be trusted in the dark night of the soul.

DR. ERWIN LUTZER, pastor emeritus,

Moody Church, Chicago

As you read Hope When Life Unravels, you will be challenged and encouraged to know that God is still in control and has the final word.

JOHNNY HUNT, senior vice president of evangelism and leadership,

North American Mission Board, SBC

This book powerfully illustrates the glory of suffering. God uses excruciating trials in the lives of His people for eternal and lasting purposes. It helps ground Christians in this hard truth, and it does so through personal narrative—through a father recounting his son’s battle with cancer. This gripping story summons believers in Jesus Christ to an unshakable faith in the midst of life’s challenges. This story comes from a pastor who walked this valley with his family and held his suffering son through cancer treatments. He now shares this story with Christ’s church. You will not want to miss it.

R. ALBERT MOHLER JR., president,

The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

There are few feelings more gut-wrenching than the feeling of hopelessness. It can feel like digging yourself out of a deep hole that never ends. And so many times, the Lord puts us there so we can find ourselves more completely dependent on Him than we ever thought we could be. I’m so thankful for my pastor, Adam Dooley, and the testimony to God’s faithfulness through his son Carson’s cancer journey. His testimony of faith builds up my faith, and I know it will build up yours too.

TRAVIS COTTRELL, singer/songwriter,

worship pastor at Englewood Baptist Church

Adam Dooley’s writing exquisitely combines a pastor’s heart and a theologian’s insight with the anguished cries of a grieving parent. Offering no easy or glib answers, this story tore at my heart and then filled it with praise. It eloquently conducted me through a child’s hospital room and into an empty tomb in Jerusalem. What a word of hope and reassurance for suffering Christians who cannot understand why God has allowed their pain.

HERSHAEL YORK, dean of the School of Theology,

Victor and Louise Lester Professor of Christian Preaching,

The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

Adam and Heather Dooley are dear friends to my wife, Charlotte, and me. They are also heroes. Watching them walk through child leukemia with their son Carson deeply moved and inspired us. You will find a snippet of their family’s story in this powerful little book. It is brutally honest, but it is also filled with encouragement and wisdom. If you’re going through a tough time at this moment, I heartily recommend this book. It may have a word from our Lord that is just for you.

DANIEL L. AKIN, president,

Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary

Adam Dooley felt his life was unraveling in one day with the shocking news that his three-year-old son had been diagnosed with leukemia. In Hope When Life Unravels, Adam shares openly and honestly of the gut-wrenching struggle his family faced for the next three years and how the Lord carried them through in a very powerful way. This book will be so helpful to anyone facing a time of suffering—not only with Adam’s honest account of his personal journey but also with his rich biblical and theological insight on how God strengthened him and his family in this challenging time. I recommend this book for anyone—and especially as a gift to someone you know who feels that life is unraveling.

BRYANT WRIGHT, senior pastor,

Johnson Ferry Baptist Church, Marietta, Georgia

Life is fragile, and the threads of our existence can come unraveled at any moment in unexpected, cruel, devastating ways. My great friend Adam Dooley has written a heartrending but soul-blessing book on how to navigate the stormy seas of life when the waves are so high and the winds are so strong that only God can steer you safely home. For the hurting, the hopeless, and the helpless, Dr. Dooley’s book is a must-read and a life preserver for those who feel as if they are going under for the last time.

JAMES MERRITT, senior pastor,

Cross Pointe Church, Duluth, Georgia

The greatest teacher in life is suffering, and there’s no better person to speak on this topic than someone who has endured the trials of suffering himself. Speaking from his own personal experience, Adam Dooley gives us a biblical theology, coupled with practical experiences, on how to respond to life’s most difficult trials. You’re going to be challenged and encouraged to face whatever situation life presents.

ROBBY GALLATY, senior pastor,

Long Hollow Baptist Church, Hendersonville, Tennessee, and author of The Forgotten Jesus and Here and Now

Adam and his family share an intensely personal struggle that is universal to all of us. Suffering, loss, or difficulties of life may remain unexplainable, but God stays constant. In this book, real-life experiences are undergirded by scriptural references to give us hope when all seems hopeless. Read this book to have your faith increased.

JIM RICHARDS, executive director,

Southern Baptists of Texas Convention

As has been proved true many times, we are all either in a storm, headed for a storm, or coming out of a storm. There are usually many questions, accompanied by a roller coaster of emotions. Hope When Life Unravels is a deeply personal but strongly biblical message of comfort to God’s people. It will inspire you to run to God in times of trial, not from Him. I have been encouraged, challenged, and blessed by reading it, and I know you will be too.

DR. BRUCE FRANK, lead pastor,

Biltmore Church, Arden, North Carolina

As parents, we would rather endure any kind of pain and hardship than see our child walk through them. When those trials come, we face a choice: turn away from God out of resentment or draw nearer to Him, despite our inability to fully understand. I’m grateful for Adam’s account of his family’s journey through the excruciating battle of childhood cancer. His candor and transparency draw us deeply into this story, and the lessons he draws give us a reassurance that even in the darkest storm, the anchor indeed holds strong.

KEVIN EZELL, president,

North American Mission Board, SBC

ZONDERVAN BOOKS

Hope When Life Unravels

Copyright © 2020 by Adam B. Dooley

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

Zondervan titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email [e-mail].

ISBN 978-0-310-35929-6 (audio)

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Dooley, Adam B., 1977- author.

Title: Hope when life unravels : finding God when it hurts / Adam B. Dooley.

Description: Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 2020. | Summary: This is the next best book about why God doesn’t answer our prayers when bad things happen. Dr. Adam Dooley searches for answers about God and human suffering. Why does God allow suffering? Dooley shares rich insights about the nature of God against the backdrop of his son’s story, who was diagnosed with leukemia at age three—Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019050489 (print) | LCCN 2019050490 (ebook) | ISBN 9780310359272 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9780310359289 (ebook)

Epub Edition April 2020 9780310359289

Subjects: LCSH: Suffering--Religious aspects--Christianity. | Critically ill children.

Classification: LCC BT732.7 .D66 2020 (print) | LCC BT732.7 (ebook) | DDC 248.8/6—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019050489

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019050490

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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible®. Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org).

Any internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design: Spencer Fuller / Faceout Studio

Interior design: Kait Lamphere

Interior images: All images courtesy of the Dooley family, unless otherwise noted.

Printed in the United States of America

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Information about External Hyperlinks in this ebook

Please note that the footnotes in this ebook may contain hyperlinks to external websites as part of bibliographic citations. These hyperlinks have not been activated by the publisher, who cannot verify the accuracy of these links beyond the date of publication

To my precious son—

I love you with all my heart.

Your life has been a crucible

of sanctification for me.

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Introduction

1. Who’s Really to Blame for Our Suffering?

2. The Dark Side of God’s Love

3. More Than You Can Bear

4. It’s Not Always about You

5. Don’t Waste Your Pain

6. Hanging On for Dear Life

7. Life with an Uninvited Guest

8. With Friends Like These

9. The Most Courageous Faith

10. The Answers You Weren’t Looking For

11. Light at the End of the Tunnel

12. When the Dawn Breaks

13. Life Will Never Be the Same

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

INTRODUCTION

I still remember the musty smell of the room. Cartoon characters decorated wood-paneled walls, and stacks of children’s books sat on both sides of our chairs. I knew that whatever the doctor was about to share couldn’t be good. The events of the previous week seemed to point to it, and the mood of the office personnel only confirmed that this was not a typical test result. Nestled between my legs with his arms around my waist, my three-year-old son, Carson, seemed oblivious to what was happening. And why wouldn’t he be? Like any carefree child, this superhero-wannabe’s only concern was how long we would have to stay in the doctor’s office.

I tried to reassure myself that I was probably overreacting. The swollen lymph nodes on Carson’s head, behind his ears, and under his arms were concerning, but his blood tests last month didn’t indicate any reason for alarm. Following a visit to family in Kentucky the previous week, it did seem strange that Carson lacked his usual energy, but most likely it was a nagging virus that wouldn’t go away. More puzzling, however, was the bright red rash that stretched from under his chin to the top of his chest and was smooth to the touch. That was what prompted a Sunday afternoon checkup in the first place. Convinced that something more serious was wrong, my wife, Heather, insisted that waiting until Monday morning wasn’t an option. As it turns out, she was right.

After seeing the rash, our pediatrician, Dr. Roberts, ordered more blood work. Meanwhile, I was preaching the morning worship service at our church. A text message from Heather was waiting when I walked into my office. She explained what was happening and asked that I come to the hospital as quickly as I could. I arrived just after the doctor encouraged us to grab a bite of lunch while we waited for the lab results. Eating was difficult due to our nerves, but Carson and our one-year-old, Brady, were ready for a break. Shortly after our meal, the phone rang, and a nurse asked us to return to the doctor’s office, but she refused to share any information over the telephone. This only heightened the anxiety, making a ten-minute drive feel like an eternity. When that same nurse met us at the door and asked if she could watch our kids while we spoke with the doctor, every internal alarm went off. What were we walking into? Despite our apprehension, nothing could have prepared us for what came next.

When Dr. Roberts walked in the room and sat on the round stool in front of us, both her posture and facial expression communicated concern. I wish I had better news, she said, but I believe that Carson has leukemia. Leukemia? Not Carson! How is that possible? I knew little about pediatric cancer at this point, and my knowledge about cancer in general was frightening. Immediately, my heart began pounding, and tears quickly followed. By now Heather was breaking down beside me. Carson, who refused to stay with the nurse, watched this scene unfold and began comforting each of us. Obviously, a three-year-old doesn’t understand words like leukemia. His tender little heart, however, was breaking—not for himself but for his parents. Please don’t cry, Mommy! he pleaded. Everything is going to be okay, Daddy! I promise. These words were comforting reminders of why we loved him so much and desperate warnings of how deeply we were afraid of losing him.

What came next was a whirlwind of activity that set into motion a journey that continues today. We held each other, wept, prayed, and wept some more. Our godly doctor prayed with us and then gave us time alone to process. As we tried to regain our composure, Heather and I agreed that our extended family needed to know. The first phone call I made, however, was to a trusted mentor and friend who is both a moral compass and wind of strength in my life. He listened quietly and then prayed for us through his tears. Somewhere in his words, the Spirit of God revived my sense of responsibility and purpose in caring for my family. Despite my personal anxieties, I knew God wanted to use me in their lives at this moment. Soon I was calling our immediate family to