Apokalypsis Book Four

By Kate Morris

Follow the next chapter of Apokalypsis as the infection spreads, and hundreds of millions of people around the world are dying from the pandemic.

Roman and Jane realize they are in over their heads, trying to keep everyone safe on her father’s hideaway. He also begins to question if they’ll all starve before the pandemic ends and worries that others in the group are weighing down the efforts of a few.

Wren’s frustration at Jamie not showing up to the farm mounts as the days pass without him. Alex forbidding her to go after him puts Elijah in the position of mediator as he tries to keep Wren from leaving while also establishing their new survival plans on their uncle’s farm.

Avery, still mourning her lost family members, futilely attempts to fill the shoes of her mother as the children lean on her for emotional support. Tristan is just trying to keep them all safe and alive and also wonders if he is the best person for the job. They need a father figure, but he’s never even been someone’s friend.

Find out what happens next in Apokalypsis Book Four.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kate Morris
• Release date: May 6, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463958599

Kate Morris

Kate lives in Ohio on a small farm with "John" and is a huge advocate for the U.S. military and promotes the rights of gun owners everywhere.

Book preview

Chapter One

January

Jane

Phew! Roman said as he came in and stomped his boots, water sloughing onto the rubber-backed rug in the entryway.

Getting cold again. Thought it was gonna clear up and get warm today, but nope.

Jane took his hat and gloves as he removed them and hanged his coat on a hook. She placed his damp items in the living room on the fireplace hearth.

Have any luck? she asked.

It was still early, and some of the others were not yet awake. Roman had gone out to feed the animals at the farm down the road and to see if he could figure out what was wrong with their other truck that wouldn’t start, Brian’s.

I think it’s the battery. Maybe when the others go to town tomorrow, they can go to the auto parts store.

Yeah, that would be good, she agreed and met him in the kitchen.

How’s your dad?

Asleep, I think he’s doing a lot better, she explained. The wound looks better, too. He said he wants to go down and check out the creek later.

He must be feeling better, Roman said. No more fevers?

Her father’s gunshot wound had nearly killed him, and the last month had been touch and go with his health. They certainly weren’t doctors or nurses, but she was thankful for Destiny’s mother, Harper, and her dedicated help and support through it all. She also wasn’t a nurse, but she seemed to know a lot more about healthcare than the rest of them.

No, no fevers, she said. He got out some yesterday, went for a walk while you were gone taking care of the animals.

Good, I’m glad he’s doing better, he said. I feel better having him here.

I know what you mean, she said and took down a package of Pop-Tarts from the cupboard. Then she felt bad that this was the best she could offer him after he volunteered to go out in the cold and make the long trek to feed the animals they were keeping at that dairy farm. She worried every time he left to do it, especially alone. It was about a mile away, less if he cut through the woods. However, taking a shortcut through the woods meant that he could run into someone- or someone who used to be a normal person but now wanted to kill them all. Have you given any more thought to returning to the city for my grandmother’s hives?

Yeah, I think today or tomorrow would be okay, he said. The weather’s kind of holding off. I think it’d be alright if I went and took a few people with me. Those hives are important.

They were, she agreed and tried not to tear up at the thought of Nana Peaches. My dad thinks they could become important. I don’t know. I think things are going to get better, though. Don’t you? I mean, they have to.

Um, I’m not sure, Jane, Roman said as he took a bite of his strawberry Pop-Tart. If it doesn’t, we should really try to get ourselves more sustainable here. This place is safe, ya’ know? he asked, to which she nodded. We’re hidden out pretty well. I think we could ride it out here, but I’m not sure about food. I know honey isn’t much for a meal if we run out of food, but it’s something. We’re still going to need more food. If I go back to the city, maybe we could hit up some more places for supplies.

But they’re all unsafe. Remember? We barely got out of the city at all. My dad was shot. Nana’s gone. The infected are there. I think we should just get the beehives and get back out.

What’s with the ‘we’? he asked with a smile. I was talking about me and Brian.

But I could help. I know how to handle the hives. You guys don’t. Plus, I want to get a book my grandmother had about honey and hives. There’s a lot of information in that book and little notes she made in the margins that I think we’re going to want. You need me.

Hm, well, I guess that’s true.

Brian ambled into the kitchen in his pajama bottoms and a hoodie pulled up over his head. Where we goin’?

Back to the city. We need to get the beehives from Jane’s farm, Roman told him and held out the box of strawberry Pop-Tarts.

No cinnamon?

Sorry, bro’, Roman apologized.

Brian shook his hand at the box and rummaged the cupboards instead. When are we leaving?

We should go soon if we’re going today, Jane put in, nervous about being out after dark. It gets dark at five now.

Right, good point, Roman said.

What’s up, assholes? Stephanie greeted as she also strolled into the kitchen in a tank top with no bra, clearly, and boy shorts that exposed part of her butt cheeks. Jane looked away.

We’re going to the city, Roman told her with a frown.

Cool, I’ll go, she volunteered readily. Ooh, gimme.

She snatched the Pop Tart box and pulled out a foil package. Brian was eating granola cereal with no milk, which they’d run out of a few weeks ago. They’d lived on her father’s property for a month now, which seemed like just a few days. It was January, which meant the weather was crap since they were unfortunately still in Ohio. It was miserable and cold, and they’d already seen a couple nasty snowstorms. Today, the ground was just wet, which was better than snow-covered.

But Roman was right about food. They weren’t going to make it all the way to spring with what they had. It was going to become a desperate situation soon with so many people living here. Roman and her father volunteered to hunt for deer or to trap or fish, but that wasn’t going to cover vegetables or fruit that would keep them healthy.

Right, Jane? Roman asked.

She’s spacing, dude, Stephanie said, making fun of her just like she always had at school.

Shut it, Steph, Roman reprimanded. We need to get the beehives and food. Jane’s coming with us unless you’re going to pick up the slack and figure out how to transport beehives.

Pass, she said in her usual snide tone and took a soda from the fridge before walking away.

We’re leaving in twenty minutes, so be ready, Brian said to her back.

She swigged her orange soda and belched as she left. Roman rolled his eyes and went back to his food.

Make sure you eat, he said to her.

I will. I’m just gonna go change, Jane told him and hurried to her father’s room where she was still camped out on the floor. She hadn’t felt comfortable leaving his side when he was injured. That recovery had been terrible and long. There were nights when he’d fevered from severe infection, according to Harper, that Jane thought she was going to lose him. She didn’t have a whole lot left in the world. Losing her father would do her in, she was sure of it.

Her father had taken Brutus out for a morning walk and to check the perimeter. Jane wasn’t sure he should be pushing it quite that fast but hadn’t said anything. Instead, she picked out warm clothing, including thermal underclothes and heavy socks just in case it rained or snowed. She was just pulling on her jacket when her father walked into the bedroom.

Roman says you kids are going to Canton?

Yeah, is that okay?

He sighed and ran a hair through his salt and pepper hair. I suppose so. You’ll be with Roman. He seems to be able to handle things well enough. I think I should come with you kids.

He seemed winded.

No, we’re fine, Dad. You should stay here and rest. Besides, I think Harper wanted to try and catch a few fish with you. She said she used to fish when she was young.

That’s probably a good idea. The pond is probably froze over, but the stream will still be moving.

That’s good, right? she asked, hopeful he wouldn’t want to pursue going with them. Just walking down to the pond would be a lot in his condition. Want me to look at your wound before I go?

Nah, it’s fine. I think the others are waiting for you.

Oh! she gasped. I better hurry then.

He stopped her exiting the room and wrapped her in an embrace. He’d lost weight in his sickened state, and Jane hoped he gained it back. It felt odd being able to almost put her arms all the way around her dad since he’d always been such a bulky man.

We’re going to try and find more food, too, she told him when they separated, although he still clasped her upper arms.

Don’t do anything dangerous, he warned. Even if the others want to. Listen to your instincts, Janie.

Got it. I will.

And keep the safety on and your finger off the trigger unless you mean it, little one.

I know. I will.

He pulled her forward and kissed her forehead. Something about his worry or her nerves over revisiting the dangerous city they’d left caused butterflies to dance in her stomach. Or maybe she was just hungry since she hadn’t eaten. She hoped it was the latter.

Jane grabbed a granola bar and two small baggies of peanuts she’d pre-portioned out into snack-sized amounts. Harper and Destiny had helped her break down all the packages of food they’d brought to her father’s home. Nobody could afford just to sit around eating right out of the can now or grazing mindlessly on things. They had to ration and be careful. She grabbed an extra granola bar for Roman, too.

Then she patted her father’s dog, Brutus, on the head, hugged Destiny and her mother since they were now up and about, too, and kissed her dad on the cheek. Roman was instructing Connor, who looked really scared that his big brother was leaving. There were unshed tears in his eyes, but he kept nodding. Then Roman embraced him for a long time, trying to soothe him before sending Connor over to Harper, who received him with open arms.

Roman drove, and she sat next to him, for which she was thankful to Brian for not calling shotgun, or she would’ve been forced to ride in the back with Stephanie. Of course, she was on her phone listening to music with her earbuds in.

Any internet service? Brian asked her.

Hell, no.

Jane said, We don’t usually have it down here anyway. It’s sketchy at best.

I couldn’t imagine living somewhere like this long-term. Fuck that.

She cringed at the other girl’s language and turned back to face Roman instead. He looked stressed.

Everything okay?

Huh? Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine. Just worried about the trip, he said as he pulled onto the main state route that would take them to the first small town on their way back to the city.

It’ll be okay, she said, trying to reassure him and maybe also herself

He looked at her with a skeptical expression and then quickly offered a smile. Roman was like that. He wanted to bear the burden of their situation. He tried to protect her, but Jane was no fool. She knew returning to the city wasn’t going to be an easy task. She knew what going back meant. It could be terribly dangerous, but starving to death would be worse than the risk. She hoped.

Chapter Two

Elijah

It’s been three days! she screamed at them. You told me if he didn’t show up by morning the first day, we’d go find him.

Calm the hell down! Alex yelled back.

This had gone on every day at least twice a day for the last three days since they’d arrived on his uncle’s farm. Wren wanted to go back for Jamie, but Alex wouldn’t approve of her decision. Elijah was stuck in the middle as the referee, a place he didn’t like being. They both meant everything to him, so getting involved in their heated arguments put him in a difficult position. It was worse yet because he believed they were both right and had valid points.

Don’t tell me to calm down, damnit! she practically screeched. Elijah had never seen her like this before. He could be out there trapped by those things, and we’re just abandoning him.

Your uncle…I mean, Jamie, Elijah said and corrected himself because he wasn’t really her uncle, after all, said for us to look after you. He said to take care of you. Those were his last words to me. If we go up after him, we’d be putting you right back in danger again. He wouldn’t want us to go after him if he didn’t show up…

That’s bullshit. He never said that to me. As a matter of fact, we had the entire system set up for this exact scenario should it play out.

She was referring to the white linens they were to tie around trees or stop signs, anything to let the others know where to find them, what route they took, or that they were even still alive out there somewhere.

I know, Elijah told her and tried to touch her forearm. She slapped his hand away. They were standing in the kitchen that seemed way too small for this many yelling people. We can’t just run back up there, Wren. You saw what we left. We almost didn’t get away. Jamie’s resourceful. He’s probably just hit a snag, had car problems or something.

He’s in trouble. I can feel it in my gut. You don’t know. I do. Jamie and I are connected like you and I could never be.

Ouch. That was tough to hear.

You aren’t just taking one of the only two vehicles we’ve got left back up there to the city, Alex said, igniting her anger again.

I’m entitled to it, she said and waved her finger at his brother. I helped load it all, haul it all, and steal it all. I’m entitled to the use of one of the trucks.

No, that isn’t the way this works, Alex said. This isn’t a democracy. I’m in charge here.

You aren’t in charge of me, drongo, she sneered with one of her weird Australian swear words. Elijah was starting to pick up on some of them. He was pretty sure none of them were kind. Whatever, but you aren’t taking a truck. They’re both only half full now since we came here. How would you get there or, more importantly, get back? You’ll run outta’ gas.

There’s got to be some gas somewhere around this farm I can use.

His brother snorted. No, there isn’t. Your uncle will show up. Stop worrying about him. He’s got military exp…

What if he’s trapped somewhere and can’t get away? What if those things got him? You don’t know! Hell, what if the military took him?

Another snort from Alex.

Hey, it’s not out of the realm of possibility. Not now. You even said yourself not to go to the military camps. That you guys didn’t trust them. Jamie said the same thing. Maybe they ran into him and have him quarantined in one of those, huh?

The raw emotion and hopefulness in her voice made Elijah flinch. He was starting to think like his brother. They talked about it last night in the barn when they’d done one final patrol of the property around the house to make sure they were still the only ones on it. Alex figured Jamie was killed. Elijah hadn’t wanted to believe that, but after discussing it with his brother, he realized Alex might’ve been right. It wasn’t like Jamie to be irresponsible. His whole life was in the dedication of keeping Wren safe. He never would’ve just abandoned her to their care. There was more to Wren than just the guardianship of a teenage girl. The international mob was after her, many bad people wanted her dead, and he was the one man who stood between them and her. That left the alternative, which was that he was not with them yet because he’d been killed by someone. The last they’d seen him, he’d been driving away, leading an angry mob of the infected crazy people away from them so that she would be safe. For Jamie not to have shown up meant something was really wrong. For this to go on for three days could possibly mean that he was just dead. No other explanation made any sense to Alex, and Elijah was beginning to wonder if his brother was right.

If it was the military, he would have them call your government contacts to explain why they couldn’t detain him, Elijah pointed out.

Not if they won’t listen to him, she said angrily.

Or maybe he got sick, Alex said. Ever think of that? Maybe he did get waylaid and then ended up with the sickness. Is that what you want to rush back there to the city to find? Jamie infected?

She grimaced but jutted out her chin defiantly. "He’s not sick. Something is wrong. Jamie’s not infected."

The way she protested this made Elijah think perhaps she might be considering that Alex was right but didn’t want to admit it to herself. Alex also wasn’t budging.

We’re not going to just drive back to the goddamn city, run outta’ gas, and get stranded up there. The answer is no!

Asshole, she swore under her breath and shoved past them and out the door to the yard.

Dude, seriously, Elijah said with irritation at his big brother.

What? Alex answered testily.

She’s been through more than either of us combined. Jamie’s all she’s got.

We’re all we’ve got. Remember that? We’ve been through hell, too, Alex said, pointing between them.

Yeah, but we’ve got each other still. At least there’s that. Now she has nobody. And I don’t think Jamie’s sick, either. I think something happened to him. Elijah paused and rubbed the toe of his boot into the floor, making a scuffing sound. Alex, that guy’s the toughest person I know. Other than you, of course. I’d say something did happen. We owe it to him.

What? Are you serious, Elijah?

Well, yeah.

He couldn’t believe his brother was acting like this after all they’d been through with Jamie and Wren. Alex ran a hand through his hair, poured a glass of water from the tap, and swigged.

Jamie’s military. He’s trained. Some sort of special ops for his government. If he’s able, he’ll be here. He knows the way. He may be traveling on foot during the day and sleeping at night. The weather a few days ago was shit, so it might’ve delayed him.

He’s got all the guns. How the hell would he be able to travel on foot?

I don’t know, damnit. I don’t have all the answers. Maybe he is dead. All I know is that we can’t risk going back. We barely made it the hell outta’ there as it was. He made the snap decision to draw them off of us so we could get away with her. Keeping Wren safe was his main objective in getting out of the damn city. You’re right. He sure as hell wouldn’t want us going back with her.

I agree, Elijah agreed. He wouldn’t want that.

If he’s not here soon, I’ll go alone.

Wait, that’s not…

Alex held up his hand. You guys will be safe here for a few days without me. It would be stupid for both of us to go. She can’t be here alone. Taking her would be even dumber. Going alone is the best call. I think I’d have better luck tracking his last moves anyway.

So now you’re Sacagawea or some shit? Elijah razzed his brother, who punched his arm.

Don’t be a little bitch. Go find your girl and get her to calm down before she does something stupid.

She’s not my girl, he explained again. We’re just friends.

A friend you’d like to bang it out with, Alex teased and snapped his eyebrows up and down twice.

Oh, brother, Elijah bemoaned and grabbed his coat.

And I was joking, Alex called. No sex. If this shit settles down, I want you to still take that scholarship.

Elijah leaned back into the kitchen and gave his brother a scowl. Seriously? I think that ship has sailed, man.

Then he left the house because Alex looked ready to blow a fuse again at what Elijah said. He felt bad for his brother. He’d sacrificed his own career and put his life on hold for him only to have it all fall apart anyway. He, too, was going through a lot.

He found Wren in the barn, which was huge, so it was a good stroke of luck that he found her so easily. There was an old, somewhat rickety, wooden swing in the top of the barn near the hayloft, and she was sitting on it looking precisely like Alex just suggested she would- on the verge of doing something crazy. Dixie was lying at her feet but trotted over to greet him. He petted her large head and got his hand licked in response before she went back to Wren. He was glad she had the dog. Dixie was an excellent alert system when those things were around, too.

Hey there, he said and picked at some of the pieces of hay in one of the huge round bales. Sorry about all that. We’re just both worried is all.

She blew out hard through her nose.

Be patient, okay? We’re not just going to leave him up there if he’s in danger. Alex just wants to give him time to get here. Think about it. We could jump in the truck and drive up to our town again, only to pass him and not even know it because he’s on a different route to the farm. Then we’re in bigger trouble because we could run out of gas, and then Jamie could show up here and think we’re gone or didn’t make it, either.

She paused and looked at the hay around her feet instead of replying.

We just want what’s best for you, Wren, he said.

Your brother doesn’t, she argued. He just doesn’t want me to use one of the trucks.

We have a manpower issue here, he said. There’s only three of us. If you leave by yourself, well… Elijah couldn’t even finish that thought. If I go with you, that leaves Alex here alone to watch over the place. I think he’ll end up going on his own without us, which is still dangerous, and he’s still gonna’ have to find gas somewhere just to get back.

What about that pump on the other side of the barn?

Alex said he thinks it’s frozen up or something. I don’t know, but he checked it out.

She didn’t look like she believed him.

Hey, instead of worrying about Jamie, why don’t you go for a walk with me? Alex wants to figure out who’s been putting livestock in the lower pasture. Neither of us knew about our dad having an agreement with someone to keep animals here.

Wren frowned and chewed the inside of her cheek before standing and sighing.

If he doesn’t show up today, I’m going tomorrow, she said.

She walked away, leaving Elijah staring after her with more worry than ever. She threatened this every day since they arrived home without him. He hoped he could talk her out of it. Actually, he hoped Jamie just showed up like Alex thought he would, if he wasn’t already dead.

Elijah chased after her, and together they hiked through the muddy field and down to the lower pasture. There, they had to open the gate, and he closed it behind them.

I don’t see any cows, she said to him and sighed, her breath coming out in a puff of visible gray vapor.

Alex said he saw some out here the other day, he told her as they continued along, this time sticking to the fence-line instead of walking out in the open. They were much further from the house, which wasn’t visible at all.

I haven’t, she said in an irritated voice.

Me neither, but Alex said he saw two when he was looking through his binoculars and thought he heard some others mooing.

Probably a deer.

He gave a short chuckle, mostly because he knew how angry she was with his brother. Elijah could understand that. Alex was hard-headed and stubborn. So was she. It was like mixing oil and water when they got into it. Neither would budge. The only reason she wasn’t gone was that Alex had pocketed the keys to both trucks.

I think Alex knows the difference between a deer and a cow, Wren, he said.

Maybe they’re in hiding, she suggested in an asinine voice.

He figured she was joking, but then it hit him. Yeah, maybe you’re right.

I was being sarcastic.

I know, but what if they are hiding? Let’s go up into those woods there, he suggested, pointing to the woods inside the pasture. He knew from playing in them when he was a kid that they didn’t go deep, maybe ten to fifteen acres before opening up to another hay pasture. His uncle had kept the trees in the pasture to offer the cows shelter from the sun and rain. The heavy snow that had fallen, probably four inches, the night they’d arrived was all melted now, which left in its wake mud and standing water everywhere. Early this morning, it had snowed some more, but nothing stuck.

Why would cows hide? she asked and stroked the dog’s head as if nervous.

She followed after him, although he could tell she was still super pissed about the fight with Alex.

Cows are timid. Horses, too, he explained. If they just got loose from somewhere else or maybe their owners turned them loose, maybe they ended up here. Could be one of the other gates is open on the other end of the property or the fence has a downed tree on it where they could get in. Maybe they’re scared and hiding ‘cuz of the night crawlers.

We haven’t seen any here, though, she said as he held back a low branch so she could duck under it.

He followed after and noticed that the farther into the woods they walked, the darker it got. Even though their leaves were now blanketing the forest floor, the canopy of intertwined oaks, pines, and maples high above them was providing generous shade.

That first night, remember?

She looked up at him and grimaced. Yeah. We don’t know that was them, though. Could’ve been something else.

I think it was one of them. Maybe more than one. Just because we didn’t put eyes on one, doesn’t mean there wasn’t one on the property that night. You heard the sounds. I figure they saw the lights and came this way.

From where? I thought it was going to be safer here.

It is, he said. Don’t you think? We’ve only had the one issue that first night. Nothing since.

She shrugged and allowed him to pass. Dixie stayed at her side, though.

I don’t know. Maybe, I guess, she decided. If it was one of them, where’d it come from?

He paused and looked up through the trees at the sky that was beginning to cover over in clouds and then back down the steep hill they’d just climbed.

Not sure. There aren’t as many people in this county, definitely a lot more spread out, but it doesn’t mean they weren’t affected by the virus, too. A lot of people around here would go to the city to do their shopping and stuff, so I’m sure some brought the virus back with them. Maybe it was a neighbor of my uncle’s or someone close by that got sick. Who knows?

I wish this would all just end, she said.

If it did, what would you do? Go back into protective custody?

That stopped her dead in her tracks. Elijah stopped, too, and Dixie circled a big cherry tree before coming back around to sit at her feet.

Would you? he repeated.

Wren frowned and gave a shrug, I don’t know. I wouldn’t feel safe in it without Jamie.

And… he started and paused because what he was thinking was macabre. And if Jamie wasn’t with you anymore? Would you return to that?

I don’t know. I feel like it could be a fresh start, ya’ know?

How’s that?

Millions of people around the world are dead. Hell, by now, maybe a billion. What if nobody had records anymore of who was alive and who was dead? What if we fudged my records and said I was dead? That I died of the infection and you buried me somewhere. I could have a fresh start, Elijah.

You did have a fresh start, Wren. Many of them. They still found you.

A line between her eyes formed with dissatisfaction. I know, but this could be different. I could assume a totally different identity. What if I took on the identity of someone a few years older like a college student that died? I know how to do that. Jamie and I often discussed what we would do if the governments could no longer keep us safe.

"You. Keep you safe. He was just your guardian in all this."

I know that, she snapped.

Sorry.

She shook her head and tried to offer a sympathetic expression. Her eyes were dark beneath as if she weren’t sleeping. He wasn’t, either. He wanted Jamie back as much as she did, even if they didn’t always get along all that great and he was kind of a dick sometimes. At least, he’d feel safer knowing Jamie was around to help keep Wren alive. With what he’d seen at that feed mill where those mobsters had tried to kill her, Elijah knew everything he needed to know about Wren. And most importantly, Elijah had learned that he probably couldn’t keep her alive all by himself. Jamie was an expert at it. He was just a football player, not some survivalist genius.

Tell me what you guys had planned, he said and continued on their hike.

Before she could explain, Dixie growled low in her throat and darted in front of him.

Trouble, Wren whispered.

They weren’t survival experts, and most of the people in their group seemed unsure of making it another day. He wasn’t one of them. There was always hope. He would never give up hope that he could save them, protect them, keep them safe from harm. He wasn’t going to sit in the corner and cry like a baby. He was steadfastly unwilling to surrender to defeat, no matter how difficult their situation became. Others had already done this. Many, in fact. Millions were now dead, some he speculated from the loss of will to keep up the fight. Until there was nothing left to live for, if every person in their group died off, then he’d surrender to that dark place and finish the deed himself. As far as he was concerned, he was going to fight like hell that it never came to that.

Chapter Three

Avery

Good morning, Angel, Tristan whispered in her neck from behind.

No, not yet, she grumbled, having stayed up way too late going through her mother’s office and trying to pack it, sort it, and figure out what to do with all of it.

I’m predicting there are people in this house that will want food, he said.

That’s just you, she returned and got a bite in the place where his lips had just been. Avery giggled and rolled into his arms. Tristan took her breath away. He always did, but she hit him with a reserved, Hey.

This is not a bad way to wake up, he said to her and kissed her forehead, making her grin.

Mm, she agreed and snuggled closer to his never-ending warmth.

If her mother could only see him now, she’d probably sign off on his papers to return to the Army, which Avery hoped he’d never do again. Tristan was transformed, softer, kind and caring. That was just with her and the kids, though. For the rest of the world, he was the same old grumpy, off-putting soldier with a chip on his shoulder and a darkness that resided just below the surface of all those tattoos. It was still there, that darkness, but he kept it suppressed when he was around her. And he was great with the kids, as well. Abraham told her how much he’d done while she, her mother, and siblings had been in the hospital. For a young man, a soldier who didn’t even have a family, to step up the way Tristan did was a testament to his character. They didn’t even know each other that well when it all happened, and now they were linked for what she hoped was forever.

Tristan, she asked quietly, do you think you’ll return to the Army when this is all over?

Without pause, he answered, No. I’m not going back. I’m going to stay here with you and the kids.

You wouldn’t have to, you know, she pointed out. I mean, we’re not actually married, so you don’t have an obligation.

I may not have a legal one written on some piece of paper, but I am obligated to you. I promised your mother…

What? When? What are you talking about? she asked, perching up on her elbow.

I talked to her about us.

When? You didn’t tell me this, she accused.

At the hospital, he answered.

Avery tried to sit up, but Tristan pulled her back down into their cave of blankets and his warmth again.

Listen, okay? he requested. She nodded. The night I brought you in to the hospital, the night your dad… Tristan trailed off, and for that, she was grateful. Thinking about her father attacking her in the car made her breath catch in her chest. It was too painful to even think on for more than a flash of memory, the barest hint of a nanosecond, so she squashed it down where she wouldn’t have to think about it at all. That night, Tristan continued, when I got to the hospital with you, your mother was going downhill already. Really fast. They let me see her, and I had to wear a biohaz suit and mask and all that.

You never told me.

I know. I was waiting for the right time.

That piqued her interest. The right time for what?

I was with her that night. I’d go back and forth from your room on your floor to hers where the kids were, too. You know your sisters passed the next morning.

She nodded and felt tears spring to her eyes. More things she didn’t want to remember.

She never knew. I didn’t tell her, and I told the staff not to, either. But she lingered that whole night trying to fight it. She was so weak already with the stress and worry of taking care of the kids at the hospital and watching all of them lapse into comas.

I know. I should’ve been there. I should’ve insisted she come home sooner.

Don’t do that, Angel, he said and stroked the side of her head. Don’t. It won’t help anything, Avery. They’re gone, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. There was nothing you could do then, either.

She felt tears welling in her eyes but nodded.

That night I sat with her, she was sick, really sick but still able to talk to me, he explained patiently.

You did?

He nodded.

What did you talk about?

Mostly, you and the kids.

Something occurred to her, Wait, did she know about my father? About what happened?

He shook his head quickly. No, no, I’d never tell her that. She was already so weak. I told her that you and the kids were home and safe and that your dad was delayed getting to the hospital. I didn’t want her trying to call him or you. If she’d known you were in that accident, she probably would’ve pulled out her IV to find you in that hospital.

She smiled at the meaning behind his statement. Her mother definitely would’ve done that and more. Ophelia’s children meant more to her than life itself.

I let her think you guys were all at home safe and sound and that the kids were getting better.

You lied to her, she said.

He nodded and looked down at her chest, Not until the next morning when I knew about the girls. I couldn’t tell her, Avery. How could I? She was already declining so fast, slipped into a coma by ten a.m.. The nurse and doctor told me it didn’t look good for her. They’d seen some people go fast like that. I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want to let her think that her children were dead, her husband infected, and the other one- you- were in a life-threatening situation, too. I couldn’t do it. Maybe it was wrong. I don’t know. That’s not my forte in life, Ave. I have to make split-second decisions all the time in my job, so I made one then, too.

It’s okay, she said and touched his cheek, which caused him finally to look at her again. Avery tried to offer a smile. It’s okay, Tristan. You probably did the right thing. I don’t know what was the right thing to do in that situation, either. I probably would’ve done the same thing.

I talked to her about the kids and you, he told her.

You did?

He nodded and continued, Yeah, we talked. She asked that I look after you and the kids in case her husband couldn’t. At that point, she thought he was having problems with his car, which I told her. A lot of people were having troubles either from the weather or the freeways being shut down just trying to get where they needed to be.

That’s probably true. I hadn’t thought of that. Poor people. Not being able to get home to your family? That’d be awful.

He offered a smile that caused his eyes to squint slightly. I told her I’d take care of you and the kids no matter what.

Wait a minute. What? So, that’s why you’re here? Because my mother made you promise to take care of us?

No! he said vehemently. Not at all. You know that, right?

She looked down.

Avery, look at me, he said and tipped her chin up. I love you. I knew when the kids got sick, and your dad really was having a hard time getting home to his family that I wasn’t going to leave you. Even if you didn’t have feelings for me, my feelings were strong enough that I was willing to just make sure you and your family were safe. Hell, I’d contemplated moving into the neighbor’s house since it was empty.

She chuffed and smiled.

When your mother fell into a coma, I still sat with her, he told her. And Cyrus, too. He passed the day after she went under.

Her eyes filled with unshed tears again, so she took a deep, shaky breath to calm her nerves.

Sorry. I don’t mean to bring this up again. You guys are all still in the healing process, he apologized and stroked her hair, rubbing at the back of her head like he always did.

It’s okay. I know you don’t mean to upset me.

I never mean to. Doesn’t mean I won’t, he said with a smirk.

She knew his grin was meant to cheer her up, so she indulged him with a smile to make him feel better in return. Avery was learning that it was the little things in a relationship that made it work. She’d seen her parents doing similar things over the years but never really understood it. A hand at the lower back, a note left on the refrigerator, her father always making sure her mother’s car was filled full of gas before he left town, her mother making his favorite meal upon his return. Now she understood what they were doing, which was building on intimacy and deepening their respect for each other. The little things added up to a whole big thing that was special and only understood by the two people involved.

I promised her I’d never leave you guys until things got better, he admitted. But it didn’t matter, Avery. That’s what I’m telling you. I’d already made up my mind to stay near you anyway. Whenever we were separated, I felt this weird ass anxiety in my chest, like something was wrong. I’d felt that before, too, in the Army. It’s hard to explain, like you can’t remember where you put your car keys, but you just had them. Or you leave the house and you’re pretty sure you left the stove on. That kind of thing. The not knowing about your welfare was worse for me than having to be around a girl who didn’t like me.

I didn’t say I didn’t like you. That’s what you assumed.

Yeah, well, girls like you don’t tend to like scrubs like me.

Don’t badmouth my fiancée, she scolded and poked him in the bare chest with her finger. Then she twirled her fingers through the hair there, which was actually surprisingly soft.

There’s one more thing, he said a few moments later.

She frowned, preparing for the worst.

I was with her when she passed, he relayed, hitting Avery with an emotional punch to the gut.

Tell me, she implored.

Tristan thought a moment and then went with what she assumed was the truth, She went quietly, peacefully. They said it would be soon, but it was even sooner than they thought, within the hour. I held her hand and talked to her about you and the kids. I told her I’d take care of you and them. I promised again. They said she probably couldn’t hear me, but I did it anyway. I figured I’d want someone talking me through to the other side if I were in that position. Silence just seems so lonely in that moment, ya’ know?

She nodded, but this time, tears did fall. Tristan’s long thumb stroked them away.

Sorry I never told you any of this. We’ve been so crazy around here.

"This is the first time