Written to Death: A Murder, She Parodied Mystery

By H. B. Farmer

Yet another murder has been committed in Cabot Cove, and Jessica Fletcher's meddling has landed her right in the middle of the investigation. To solve this case, Jessica teams up with fellow mystery writer Diana Dillard. Together they snoop for clues to try to catch a killer. If you love Murder, She Wrote (and who doesn't?), you'll love Written to Death. It has everything you have come to expect from the Murder, She Wrote franchise: thin plot lines, stereotypical characters, and Jessica being Jessica.

• Language: English
• Publisher: H. B. Farmer
• Release date: May 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463458235

H. B. Farmer

H. B. Farmer is the nom de plume of the brilliant minds behind the world famous Hillbilly Farms website. Hillbilly Farms was founded in 2003 and we've come a long way since then, but unfortunately we have been traveling in the wrong direction. To join us on our downhill journey go to www.hillbillyfarms.org.

Book preview

Written to Death

A Murder, She Parodied Mystery

by H.B. Farmer

Published by Hillbilly Press

Distributed by Smashwords

Copyright 2020 H. B. Farmer

License Notes

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

For Jessica Fletcher and Angela Lansbury,

who provided me with many restful nights in front of the television.

Chapter 1

Jessica Fletcher stood in front of the Cabot Cove Booksellers and smiled. Her own picture smiled back at her from a poster in the window.

Best-Selling Author and Cabot Cove resident

J.B. FLETCHER

will be signing her newest book

'Tea with Milk and Murder'

this Saturday at 6:00 p.m.

The bookstore was closed for the day, but Jessica peered through the front window, looking for the owner, Oliver Chapman. Jessica was scheduled to meet Oliver to make sure everything was ready for tomorrow's book signing. Jessica knocked on the front door. She didn't see or hear any activity in response to her knock so, after checking that the front door was indeed locked, she walked around to the back alley to check the door to the bookstore's storeroom. As she reached for the door knob she heard raised voices coming out of the storeroom.

I always get what I want! said a male voice with a Texas accent.

The only way you will get my store is over my dead body! said a voice belonging to Oliver.

You won't be able to stop me!

Jessica lingered outside the door, pretending to look for something in her shoulder bag.

No one is going to turn this block into an ugly, over-sized hotel! Now get out of my store!

Jessica continued rummaging in her shoulder bag as a big, red-faced man in a cowboy hat threw open the door and stormed past her, the fringe on his leather jacket swinging furiously. He jumped into the driver seat of his Cadillac and drove off. After his car disappeared around the corner, Jessica entered the storeroom. Upon seeing Jessica, the expression on Oliver Chapman's face changed from fury to delight.

Jessica! I am so glad you are here.

Oliver, what was that all about?

I am sorry you had to hear that. That man, that Buck Jefferson, wants to build a huge hotel. Right here on my property! He is trying to buy up the whole block. Just look at this brochure he gave me.

Oliver handed Jessica a glossy