Character Matters: Shepherding in the Fruit of the Spirit

By Aaron Menikoff and Anthony J. Carter

Pastor, it’s time to turn down the noise and focus on what matters.

Today’s pastoral world is packed with books, conferences, and seminars teaching you different techniques for being an all-star pastor, growing your church quickly, and changing the world. But the key to true success is much harder and much simpler. Pastors are called to be faithful, to have exemplary character, and to love Jesus. Without faithfulness, their ministry ends up harming others rather than helping them. Churches need pastors with sound doctrine and a sound life.

Character Matters was written to help you slow down, cut through the noise and distractions, and focus on what matters—the fruit of the Spirit. Each chapter is a guided, biblical meditation on one aspect of each piece of the fruit of the Spirit. As you reflect and focus on the simple things that matter, you’ll see your heart change and your ministry follow, slowly, surely, and by the power of the Spirit. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Moody Publishers
• Release date: May 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9780802498670

Book preview

Praise for Character Matters

These meditations on the Pauline fruit of the Spirit by a seasoned pastor have their matrix in the actual practice of pastoral ministry and are thus felicitous in achieving the goal of this book: namely, the vital reminder that character is absolutely central to the task and calling of the pastorate. Earlier generations knew this well. My favorite pastor from the past, the eighteenth-century Englishman Andrew Fuller, once commented that behind eminent usefulness in the kingdom of God lies eminent spirituality. Menikoff’s study is a much-needed reminder of this truth. Yes, ours is a very different day from that of Andrew Fuller, but the truth is the same.

MICHAEL A. G. HAYKIN

Chair and Professor of Church History, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

Character matters, and it matters a lot when it comes to those men who are called to pastor the churches of the Lord Jesus. Connecting character to the fruit of the Spirit summarized in Galatians 5:22–23, my friend Aaron Menikoff provides both challenge and encouragement to the undershepherds of the Great Shepherd. This book will serve church leaders well.

DANIEL L. AKIN

Sixth President of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary

Character Matters is written by a pastor for pastors, but I would recommend it for pastors’ wives, missionaries, Bible study leaders, and every other Christian who wants to see more of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in his or her life. Aaron Menikoff is the real deal, transparent about the challenges of ministry and even his own weaknesses. He humbly cares for others, loves the church and desires to glorify the Lord in his life and his shepherding. This comes through in his book, which is full of insightful truths that will help you examine your heart and grow in Christlikeness. As I read, I was convicted and challenged but always encouraged as gracious words pointed me over and over to the work of our Lord Jesus as the foundation for any good fruit. Read this book and let it spur you on to Spirit-wrought character.

KERI FOLMAR

Pastor’s wife in Dubai; author of The Good Portion: Scripture and the Delighting in the Word Bible study series

In a culture that values competency over character, Christians need to be reminded that the ascended Christ calls faithful men to lead his church by example. Pastors are to set an example for the flock of God among them (1 Peter 5:2–3): in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity (1 Tim. 4:12). Aaron Menikoff understands this call. He also understands the rigors of ministry and the temptations pastors face. So, in Character Matters, Menikoff calls church leaders to reflect upon their personal holiness—through the lens of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22–23)—in order that we may lead by example. Brother pastors, our people need godly examples to follow. Take up this book and begin reflecting on God’s work of grace in your life, asking Him to produce God-glorifying fruit, that your people may follow in your steps.

JUAN R. SANCHEZ

Senior pastor, High Pointe Baptist Church, Austin, TX; author of The Leadership Formula: Develop the Next Generation of Leaders in Your Church

In his book Character Matters, Aaron Menikoff gives pastors/church leaders a clear, biblical blueprint for leading and growing a healthy church. Menikoff helps the reader move past any devotion to a style over substance approach and reveals the impact that can only be made by a Spirit-filled life. Character Matters is rich in practical and theological application. It is a must read for every pastor who wants to avoid many modern-day pitfalls in church leadership.

W. THOMAS HAMMOND JR.

Executive Director, Georgia Baptist Mission Board

I needed to read this book. I need to read this book. I will need to read this book. Aaron has done a sweet service to pastors in crafting a book that reminds them they are sheep! This is a book about a pastor’s first ministry, namely, to walk close with the Lord and bear much fruit as a disciple. It’s warm, convicting, and full of grace—just like its author. As I read Character Matters, I found myself thinking after almost every page, man, I really, really need this. Perhaps, dear pastor, you do as well. This work will definitely spur you on to love and good works in your personal walk with Jesus.

BRIAN DAVIS

Pastor, Risen Christ Fellowship

© 2020 by

AARON MENIKOFF

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Some material in this book is adapted from a series of articles for 9Marks.org.

Names and details of some stories have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Edited by Kevin P. Emmert

Interior and cover design: Erik M. Peterson

Cover photo of fruit copyright © 2020 by JRP Studio/Shutterstock (91986902)

Author photo: Griffin James of Griffin Gibson Photography

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ISBN: 978-0-8024-1974-3

eBook ISBN: 978-0-8024-9867-0

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Serving with you in pastoral ministry is a true joy. Like Tychicus, you are beloved brothers, faithful ministers, and fellow servants in the Lord.

Contents 

Foreword

Introduction

1. Am I a Noisy Gong?

2. Stop Looking for It!

3. Living in the Nevertheless

4. Let Us Not Grow Weary

5. No More Mr. Nice

6. Don’t Be a Do-Gooder

7. What Do You Want?

8. Meek Is Not Weak

9. The Flesh Is Weak

10. Putting the Pieces Together

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

Notes

Scripture Index

More from the Publisher

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Foreword

Iwas born and raised in rural Michigan. Rows of corn and fruit trees dotted the countryside. In the fields adjacent to my grandmother’s house were both apple and pear trees. Naturally, we country kids looked forward to the fruit ripening on those trees and anxiously picking them the first chance we got. We loved those apple and pear trees. Their fruit provided a wonderful respite from the frequent doldrums of country life. However, what most people don’t know is that from a distance it is difficult to distinguish a pear tree from an apple tree. For the untrained eye, the only way to tell the difference between the two is to get close enough to examine the fruit. As we all know, the fruit doesn’t lie. Or as Jesus said, The tree is known by its fruit (Matt. 12:33). In other words, fruit matters. It matters on trees. It matters in ministry. It matters in our leaders.

During the early days of the New Testament church, there was a ministry crisis. The leadership was struggling to sufficiently meet the mercy needs of the widows, especially those of Greek heritage. Consequently, there were inequities in the distributions of daily necessities. To address the problem, the apostles determined that it was not fitting for them to give up preaching the word of God to serve tables (Acts 6:2). Therefore they told the church to choose men who were full of the Spirit (6:3), whom they could appoint to make sure all were having their needs met.

Being filled with the Spirit should be a necessary quality of anyone being set apart for leadership and service in the church of Jesus Christ. One might even say it is the bare minimum. Yet being bare is not the idea. On the contrary, being filled with the Spirit is bearing fruit. Like fruit on a tree, evidence of the Holy Spirit in a person’s life is the fruit of the Spirit. It is fashionable today to think that the gifts of the Spirit are evidence of the Spirit. But true evidence is the fruit. Those in whom the Spirit of God dwells are necessarily and inevitably manifesting and displaying a Spirit-directed, Christ-glorifying character.

The Bible reminds us that the goal and glory of Christ in our lives is that we would "be filled with the knowledge of [God’s] will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God" (Col. 1:9–10, emphasis added). This book, Character Matters, reminds us that, for the pastor, there is no more fruitful fruit and faithful fruit than the fruit of the Spirit. Those who prepare sermons should do so seeking to increase the knowledge of God’s people that they may be more fruitful. Those who preach should first preach to themselves the desire to bear fruit to the glory of Christ, and consequently communicate that desire for all God’s people. Fruitfulness in ministry begins with fruitfulness in the minister. The Holy Spirit is the guide for pastoral ministry. Those who are being led by the Guide will find Him guiding them into fruitful ministry—a ministry bearing the fruit of the Spirit:

Love. The truth, which we are called to preach, is always to be communicated with love—love for Christ and the church.

Joy. The disposition of the preacher is to be one in which others see and experience his calling as a blessing and not a burden.

Peace. The gospel we are called to proclaim is the gospel whereby sinners are reconciled to God and each other.

Patience. The Lord is slow to anger and overflowing with forgiving grace; so too is the Spirit-led ministry of the Word.

Kindness. As Jesus would not break a bruised reed, so too must the pastor must endeavor to comfort the fractured and bruised.

Goodness. The goal of pastoral ministry is to reflect Jesus in bringing benefit and blessing, spiritual and natural, to the life of God’s people.

Faithfulness. Faithfulness is that quality we desire most in a friend, spouse, parent, and yes, pastor, because it is what we find most fittingly and thankfully in God.

Gentleness. The Lord Jesus is sympathetic to His people, and His people should know this because their pastors, like Jesus, are sympathetic as well.

Self-control. The Spirit’s work in all of us, especially in the pastor, is the diligent keeping of our heart from self-destruction.

This is fruit-bearing ministry. This is the Spirit-filled, Spirit-led ministry. Such fruit is not possible without the Spirit’s strength and guidance. It is the fruit of the Spirit because He produces it in us. Sometimes we forget. Our friend and pastor Aaron Menikoff has reminded us once again.

I know you will enjoy being challenged and encouraged by this book. Aaron is a pastor’s pastor. He thinks deeply about the role and responsibilities, character, and convictions of the pastor. This is evident throughout this book with the many personal and at times painful examples of pastoral ups and downs, and yet the consistent encouragement to look to Jesus—to abide in Him.

Aaron takes serious his call to pastoral ministry, as we all should. And yet, the seriousness is focused not so much on what we do, but who we are in Christ. We are vessels through which the Holy Spirit is pleased to accomplish His work. The work of the Spirit is to point others to Jesus. Even in discussing the fruit of the Spirit, Aaron reminds us that it is ultimately about Jesus. Even in producing fruit in the lives of His people, the fruit is produced unto the glory of Christ Jesus. Therefore, this book is ultimately about abiding in Christ, growing in Christ, and living to the glory of Christ. I have found much pastoral encouragement in these pages. I trust you will find similar encouragements as well. Thanks, Aaron.

ANTHONY J. CARTER

East Point Church

Introduction

In 2008, I became a full-time preaching pastor. The members of my new church had a high view of Scripture and an earnest desire to hear the gospel. But the church was in decline. The demographic winds had shifted. Young families settled north of Atlanta’s downtown, leaving a hush in the preschool wing. Singles gravitated toward larger churches with, well, more singles. Most of the parents with teenagers left for churches with bigger youth ministries. I expected difficult work yet nevertheless rested in the truth that God loves to rebuild His church.

From day one, I knew what I wanted the church to look like: nothing flashy, just faithful, Bible-centered, Christ-exalting ministry. I was pretty sure how to get there too. I’d spent the previous fifteen years occupying a front-row seat at two revitalizations, one in D.C. and the other in Louisville, Kentucky. It had taken time, but both had grown into healthy, gospel-centered churches. I’d seen God at work. Now I prepared for act three—a new church, the same story. But this time, I stood on the main stage.

Nothing can prepare a man for the weight of pastoral ministry. My early years had their share of challenges. Around the two-year mark, a discouraging thought marched into my mind, I know where the church should go—I’m just not sure I’m the man to take it there. I began to doubt the effectiveness of God’s Word. I knew in my head Luther was right when he refused to take credit for the Reformation:

I simply taught, preached, and wrote God’s Word; otherwise I did nothing. And while I slept or drank Wittenberg beer with my friends Philip and Amsdorf, the Word so greatly weakened the papacy that no prince or emperor ever inflicted such losses upon it. I did nothing; the Word did everything.¹

Yes and amen! My job is to preach God’s Word, to plant and water gospel seeds. It’s up to Him to give the growth (1 Cor. 4:6). As a young pastor, I found solace in the truth that God’s Word is all one needs to build God’s church. I knew this forward and backward.

And yet, in my heart, I began to question it. Never explicitly, never verbally. But when the congregation didn’t grow as fast as I thought it should, when people I expected to stay left the church, and when my ministry started to take a different shape than I once expected—I subtly doubted God’s Word to do the work. Sometimes, a bitterness, sullenness, and even coldness overtook me. Over time, I realized I’d made an idol out of pastoral success. Though the content of my ministry remained sound, my character proved to be deficient.

CHARACTER MATTERS 

If you are a pastor, are an elder, or have any leadership responsibility in a church or ministry, your heart probably skips a beat when you read James 3:1, Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. God places a special weight of accountability on the shoulders of His undershepherds. They are supposed to not only know the Word most fully, but also model it most faithfully. It’s not enough to say what’s true; we must live in light of truth.

Character matters, and that is what this book is about—the necessity of godliness in the lives of pastors and other Christian leaders. Of course, doctrine matters too. We must not assume the gospel. History is littered with seemingly pious pastors who preached false gospels that poisoned the minds of sheep and pushed congregations away from Christ. But when the true gospel grips you, your life will change. That changed life is vital to a healthy church. If you aren’t striving for holiness with the energy of a runner lurching for the finish line, not only will God be displeased, but your ministry will suffer.

When it comes to character, I share plenty in this book (not without a little embarrassment) about how I’ve fallen short. This book is not a comprehensive guide for overcoming a hard heart.² Consider it a firm but gentle nudge to reflect on your need to shepherd in light of Galatians 5:22–23. A ministry not marked by love,