My Only Inspiration Is You

By Stefania Gil

Bridget Wagner and Roman Thompson discovered the meaning of love when they were very young.
Bridget’s heart has only belonged to Roman since they were kids, even when their relationship was cut short when they were teenagers and they had to go on separate ways, she’s never stopped loving him and he dreams of having her in his arms for the rest of his life.  
When they finally thought fate had given them a second change, sudden news make Roman’s fear surface, driving him to pick up old habits that will change the course of what seemed to be a perfect relationship, and at the same time will lead him to discover a very important truth about his past.
A story about secrets, lies, and betrayals that tests a love that seems fragile and dangerous, but that, in reality, is so strong and pure it’s capable of overcoming all the trials destiny puts in their way, showing nothing and no one can break up two people when they truly love each other.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stefania Gil
• Release date: Apr 12, 2020
• ISBN: 9781071537886

Book preview

The characters, places, and events described in this novel are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.       

People really change when they realize the consequences of not doing so

—Mario Alonso Puig—

Prologue

Roman walked to his bedroom’s window when he saw Bridget on the other side.

He opened the door and helped her get inside.

Her eyes and nose were red.

Roman hugged her tightly while she sobbed against his chest. He kissed the crown of her head slowly and sweetly.

He sighed.

He didn’t want to leave the house, and his three women weren’t making things easier.

That same day, he had had to comfort Elena, who had gone to hole herself up on the beach to release all the sadness that was overpowering her.

Roman had also suspected things would change a little, but he didn't think it was necessary to make a fuss about it the way the women were.

His grandmother had been on edge for three days, crying every night, alone in her room.

And now Brie, who was crying, bereaved, clinging to him like she'd never done before.

That goodbye was going to be the hardest one. He never talked about his feelings and he’d learned to keep them to himself, and it was thanks to that that he was able to keep secret how much in love he was with Bridget. 

They had been raised together, and he’d been forever attracted to her.

Roman caressed her face softly; he let himself get intoxicated by her sweet scent and he brought her closer to him.

He wanted to keep that scent and that moment in his memory forever.

He was dying to kiss her and tell her how much he loved her, but he didn’t want to ruin that wonderful thing they had; she was his best friends. If she didn't love him back or if, in the future, they wouldn't be able to keep a long distance relationship, everything would end and the magic of friendship would fade away.

She looked him in the eye.

Roman was trying very hard not to kiss her. 

They looked at each other for a few seconds, in which Roman found out that the way his friend was looking at him was different.

Was it possible she felt the same way towards him?

We’ve never talked about this... Bridget’s sobbing made her pause. Because I thought that I was misunderstanding things, but I've realized today that I...

The girl halted, ashamed, and Roman could feel the nerves on his stomach.

He lifted her chin up delicately and they looked at each other again.

Roman came closer to her, letting his mouth act on its own.

Brie’s mouth turned out to be a delicacy, and she responded harmoniously to the contact. He loved how she responded, putting both her arms around his neck and bringing him closer to her.

Then Roman placed one of his hands on the small of Brie’s back and he tangled his other hand in her beautiful blond hair. 

They kissed for a long time and only decided to stop when things started to get more intense.

Roman was still cautious, he put his forehead to hers and gave her a kiss on each cheek, his lips were wet from the tears that were still falling from her sweet eyes.

Shhh. He hugged her tightly to his chest. I don’t want you to cry anymore, Brie. Please. I can’t stand to see you cry. Especially if it’s because of me.

He felt her smile.

How did we get here? She asked while staring at his eyes.

Roman lead her to the bed, where they lay down in front of each other.

I've loved you for a long time, he said caressing her face.

I never thought that I’d feel so bad for living far away from you. Bridget closed her eyes, trying not to start crying again. When I think that we'll be apart, I feel like I’m out of breath, as if someone were pulling something out of my chest.

Everything will be alright, he tried to reassured her with a fake firm voice. He didn't know what he was going to find in New York, but he refused to make his beautiful blond suffer. I’m going to call you every chance I get, and I’m going to write you a letter a day. Do you think you can write a letter a day to me too?

She nodded with a sweet smile.

So that’s what we’ll do. And I’ll come back home whenever I can because I know you’ll be waiting for me.

What if I’m accepted into Georgetown next year?

Well, then I’ll go where you are, honey.

What if you find yourself a pretty woman in New York?

He regarded her, amused and fond. He smiled, lopsided.

There won’t be a prettier girl than you now that I know how you really feel about me. I won’t care about any of them the way I care about you.

Elena’s going to be jealous.

Oh my God, Brie! Elena? He laughed soundly. What are you saying? She’s in love with that guy from the beach.

Poor thing, she doesn't even know his name.

I know. I was with her that summer, remember?

Brie nodded.

Will you miss me?

I’ll miss you every minute of the day.

Roman got closer to her and stared at her deep blue eyes and her mouth; it was juicy, smooth, sensual, and delicious. The inside was wet and warm, and he liked the way she kissed him: slowly, tenderly, well-balanced, just the way she was.

He knew he was becoming her first kiss, and he wanted to become her first man, too. But it wouldn't be this night, that wouldn't be fair for her.

He’d wait and go to university with the memory of her kisses and the taste of her lips. That would make him come back home soon to keep on winning her heart and to prove the love that they were confessing today.

***

The first months went by quickly, Brie was immersed in her last year of high school; she was devoted to apply to the universities she picked. Georgetown was her first and almost only option, she’d give her all to be able to go there; she dreamed of studying in that famous university. Moreover, she had fallen in love with the capital city ever since she had visited with her parents, a few years ago.

Of course, Roman was as worried as she was. Julliard had been his obsession since she could remember, and once he stepped foot in the school, he managed to set goals that allowed him to become an outstanding student. He didn’t manage to make friends with the rest of the students because he was focusing on what he wanted to be, which was the best. Besides, he wasn't interested in going out or having fun if Brie wasn't with him.

This was something his teacher, Cole Walker, noticed immediately. He was interested in finding out what made Roman so reserved, and that was the first topic of many of the conversations they had, because Cole Walker would later become his mentor and good friend.

Both Bridget and Roman kept their promise to call and write each other daily. For Roman, writing to his girl and telling her everything he was experiencing in university was therapeutic.

It was comforting for her, too, being able to tell him how her applications were going and also how things were going at home.

During Thanksgiving, Roman came back home to celebrate with his grandmother, who was the only living family he had left.

His grandmother, Stella, told him that his parents had died in a traffic accident when he had been a baby, and she had been so devastated about losing her child that she hadn’t said much about her while Roman was growing up. After the death of Nathan Thompson, Roman's grandfather, Stella had withdrawn into herself more and she had become reserved about the past, showing a deep pain in her eyes whenever Roman had wanted her to tell him something about his mother. He had decided to not ask any more questions and had given up knowing what his mother had been like. He barely had an idea of how she looked like thanks to the only photo he had of her in the living room.

He didn't want memories torturing his grandmother, who was fighting each day to take care of him and of the Thompson fortune—which she had inherited when her husband died. She had to take over her husband's role in the family businesses.

Roman admired his grandmother as much as he loved her. For him, she was like his mother, and he was glad to see her again after all those months he had been away from home.

They spent the entire day talking and catching up on news about Newport, the family businesses’ progress—that didn’t matter much to him, but he still paid attention to his grandmother, just to make her happy—and he told her about his life in the Big Apple.

I’m enjoying myself.

You should enjoy yourself while you take care of your assets.

You're doing it yourself, grandma. And if you don't want to do it anymore, hire someone to do it. We’ve talked about this already, I don’t want to spend the day fighting.

She looked up at the sky.

I can't win with you. She patted his cheek. You’ve become even more handsome. Brie’s going to go crazy when she sees you.

He smiled, ashamed, and his grandmother looked at him with dream-filled eyes.

The thing I’d like the most is if you start a family with that girl. You two love each other to pieces.

You're getting ahead of yourself, grandma. First, we need to grow up. Times have changed, people don't get married at twelve because they’re considered singletons.

She laughed loudly.

That was maybe during your great grandparents’ time. When I was young, you got married at sixteen, and if you were older than twenty-five you were out of the game.

They both laughed.

We're invited to have dinner at Brie’s. Mary Joe didn't like the idea of us having Thanksgiving dinner here alone.

It’ll be like every other year when we’ve spent Thanksgiving with them.

They're good people, Roman.  Please, don’t hurt Bridget.

I won’t, grandma. I really love her.

***

Everything was wonderful during dinner.

Roman was happy about being with Elena and Bridget again. Also, he was happy to be able to dance with Maria, Elena’s mother, whom he loved as if she were his own mother. He respected her, as a son would. Elena was a woman who had come through with her daughter in a country where she couldn't even speak the language. She cooked like the gods; Roman was weak for her food. Moreover, Maria had encouraged his passion for music ever since he was a little boy. His grandma had insisted on him playing the classical instruments for fun, but Maria, keeping it a secret from Stella, had taught him how to play to the Caribbean beats, and had discovered that Roman was a natural dancer and he could feel any rhythm he heard inside of him.

She had taught the three of them how to dance.  She had even taught Brie’s parents—though Mary Joe had been the only one who had been able to keep up with the music; she had enjoyed a good tango. Brie and her father had not been able to understand the sounds, and even if Maria had told them they had to feel the music inside their bodies, it seemed like they hadn’t been able to feel anything because they had been off-beat. Elena and Roman had been the only ones among them who had felt the son of that melody in every fiber of their bodies, and they had known how to carry the rhythm in their feet.

Roman loved to dance salsa with Maria until she couldn't keep up anymore. He enjoyed using music to coax her into saying yes to something he wanted, but she refused. Like that time, in L.A., when he had convinced her to let Elena go to a party with him.

The night Elena had told him she liked a boy.

Roman smiled as he remembered that. He had so many memories with them that he couldn’t fathom a life without his women.

He sat in front of Brie during dinner. 

They sneaked a few glances at each other that made Brie’s heartbeat rise, and also made the need Roman had to kiss her senseless more intense.

She was stunning that night.

He saw her as a woman, and he was drooling just thinking about it. He had to scold himself a few times during dinner because he couldn't keep track of the conversation. Luckily, it wasn’t during William Wagner—Brie’s father—inquiries about his classes in Julliard.

William was a serious man, a renowned lawyer who asked him questions in such a particular tone that Roman could tell he didn't approve of his decision to become a musician. It was the same as with his grandmother.

Roman didn't care about what William—or his grandmother—thought about his career, but when he saw Brie, he felt a knot in his stomach. He could feel that, when they’d found out there was something between him and Brie, there would be trouble.

Brie was supposed to become a lawyer like his father; she’d run his firm while Roman would compose music. That was what he wanted to become: a composer.

That night Roman spotted the first problem they’d have, facing the family wouldn't be that easy.

He shook his head, as if wanting to shake the negative thoughts that he didn't even know would become true.

After dessert, the kids went to the beach because it was their tradition even when the weather was cold.

Elena soon understood she was third wheeling and decided to go to bed early, stating that she wanted to wake up early the next day to help her mother in the kitchen.

Brie thanked her with her eyes and Roman winked at her.

When they were alone at last, in front of the bonfire Roman had started, he invited Brie to lay down on the blanket that he had brought for that occasion. When they faced each other under the moon light, with the sound of the waves crashing on the shore as background music, Roman decided that that would be the perfect night to be together.

He had experience with other girls in terms of sex, but none of them had made him feel the way Brie made him feel,