The Breaking

By Lara Rouse

We try to protect ourselves from breakage, but that isn't life. We get beat up and our damage becomes part of the way we can help others. These female-centric stories, based on Bible stories, follow an odd lot of people as they break and become. Topics: censorship, letting go, agency, sexual needs, loving the unlovable, good guys forgetting they can be bad, and faith not being about security.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lara Rouse
• Release date: Mar 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463091838

Lara Rouse

I write dystopias, utopias, sci-fi, comfort romance, mystery, horror and more in novel, screenplay, poetry, and short story format.I hope you enjoy my work, and please consider leaving a review so I know what you think.Check back in the future for more poetry books and other fiction.

Book preview

The Breaking

by Lara Rouse

Copyright 2020 Lara Rouse

All Rights Reserved

Distributed by Smashwords

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Table of Contents

Forever a Student

Apple-wise

Next Door

What is Sought

Sowing

Strength

Golden Calf

More of Lara's Writing

Forever a Student

The snow blew against the windows, creating a blue light against the warm one inside the library. Noel lived there, a blonde woman with silver tinsel growing in her hair, working late to make sure all the books in the fairy tale section were exactly in order, as she would do with a different section each individual night. Yes, people rarely borrowed books anymore, as many people pointed out to her. That made it only more important for everything about the books to be perfect. When people did want to borrow a book, she wanted it to be an experience, an example of things at their best, not just another service shot full of mistakes.

When Noel finished her self-appointed task, she sat down in her back room living quarters where there was a daybed, a narrow writing desk, a bookshelf, and a place for cooking. In here, she kept the few books she actually owned. She’d never been able to explain to anyone who asked why she felt the need to own any books when she lived in a library, but here they were. On the nightstand beside her daybed sat the King James Bible, a book of Socrates’ quotes, and several works by Dostoyevsky. She picked one up and got cozy, lounging in her luxurious satin robe, one of the few things she’d splurged on.

The next morning, she went about the appointed daily tasks of assigning people to computers and helping them use them, the rows of books standing behind, unnoticed by anyone but her, like ghosts.

More computer users came in, and then even more. Then a young girl with a dark, princess-like ponytail and glasses walked toward Noel with a piece of paper in her hand.

Yes, I’m looking for several books about Socrates.

Noel resisted the urge to beam the full excitement of her eyes at the girl. Sure, which ones?

She looked at her piece of crumpled paper, The original written accounts of him, by Plato and other people, and these modern books.

Noel took the list. That’s thorough exploration you’re doing, she said as they walked toward the stacks.

Yes, I’m writing a paper. People keep asking why I don’t just use the internet and I will, if I need to, but I’d like to physically see the books. The girl fidgeted her feet.

I understand, Noel told her and handed her the first book.

The girl looked up at her, You do?

Yes. Noel kept walking and reaching up toward books.

When she handed the girl the last book, she told her, "I’d love to hear what you’ve learned when you bring them back.

So far, I already know he said that the only thing he knew was that he knew nothing.

Yes, and that one phrase may be the key to everything else good we can do in this life.

The girl looked at Noel for a moment, her eyes pressing together as she thought, and said, thank you, before leaving.

At the end of the day when few people visited the library and everyone who worked there started winding down, Tayah, one of Noel’s coworkers, a slender black woman in a cream-colored blouse, brought a book in and slapped it on the main desk where most of them were gathered.

Every major store is banning this!

I thought you hated it, Beth, another coworker who was filling out paperwork immediately burst out., her choppy bob remained still.

That’s not the point.

A third coworker who was cleaning the computers added, I like it. Good thing I already bought it.

Noel came in from the stacks. What are we talking about?

Tayah told her, Everyone’s going to ban this book.

She pointed and Noel leaned toward it, then jerked back, Oh, that book! It’s vile. I don’t normally condone censorship, but I might could get behind it with this. Just one gratuitous scene of sexual violence and degradation after another.

There was even a murder, one of them pointed out.

It is terrible, but I think censorship is worse, Tayah retorted, shakily this time with emotion.

The other two women said nothing.

Noel replied, What good can come of it being sold?

I can’t even believe this is happening in a library! Tayah shouted, picked up the book, and left the room.

A few days later, the largest local bookstore held a protest of the book, pushing for it to be banned. Noel was there, sign in hand, looking at the crowd, feeling their yells surround her and drive her… somewhere. It seemed so bewildering. She didn’t belong at a protest to ban a book, she thought as she looked at the people around her thronging. She thought of Tayah, how disappointed she’d be to see her here. Then someone brandished the book and she saw its cover, bruise colored and patterned, remembered the way it’d made her feel, the hurt she knew it must inspire others to do and she felt she had no choice. She called out once, shakily, then yelled out and held up her sign.

A young red-haired girl came up to the crowd and looked several people in the face one by one until she got to Noel.

She held her gaze for an uncomfortable amount of time before saying, It helped me.

What?

Reading that book. It made me feel less alone.

Then, the girl quickly moved on to find the next person to speak to.

Noel stood there, eyes staring blankly ahead, so wide the air stung them. Then she went home to the library and sat for some time thinking, Is that true? That horrible book helped someone?

She finally got around to praying about it. When she finished, she was inspired to read the Bible. It was a little earlier than her usual time. The next chapter was John 3, and she found her mind lingering on Nicodemus’ words, How can these things be? She felt like that, and the words echoed in her head even after she stopped reading.

She took out her laptop and ran a search for the name of the book and the words argument for. There were whole communities of people supporting the book. Many,