Tomb of the Viking: Jess Thornton Detective, #4

By Jess Thornton

In this, the fourth installment of the Jess Thornton Private Investigator of La Crosse Wisconsin, Jess and his friend Alexander Blackdeer travel back in time, back to the founding days of La Crosse itself, when Nathan Myrick was forging the community...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jess Thornton
• Release date: Jan 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393591115

Jess Thornton

Jess Eden Thornton is the author of several books on family, the post office past and present, and Americana.  His writings espouse traditional family values, while displaying the underlying humor in the family, neighborhood, and of working life. He also has written a few fantasy stories, one in collaboration with Robert E. Howard, the inventor of Conan. He resides in the driftless region of Wisconsin, deep in an isolated coulee.

Book preview

Time Travel- Again?

Isat in my office, high in the Hoeschler building- truth be told, on the top floor! I am not one to run up my many achievements, but to be on the topmost floor of such a prestigious building was high on my list.

I gazed out upon my domain of downtown La Crosse- there below me spread out the vista of King street, and 5th street as well. I knew the layout perfectly.

Were this a typical mystery fantasy adventure thriller, I would love to say that, looking down upon the corner below, just north of the La Crosse Children’s Museum, there was:

1. Not only incredible violence from Black Lives Matter but also-

2. Wizards from Hogwarts, converging onto 5th and Jay streets, and into the alley behind the Hoeschler building- Diagon Alley?

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Unfortunately, to both points I can say that the answer is NO- I saw nothing like that!

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All that I saw was the minimal traffic of a peaceful, well-run, north-midwestern city. No violence at all, peaceful citizens walking and driving the streets. No crime, nothing untoward- just a law abiding citizenry upon the roads, without any wizards, no BLM protests- nothing!

One would think that this peacefulness, this adherence to the law, would be the answer to my prayers! For after all, I am Jess Thornton. My sign says as much just above my frosted glass, 1930’s Art Deco door: Jess Thornton- Private Detective Agency.

Impressive! And the crossed revolvers underneath, billowing black smoke, made it so much more effective.

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But, as I held the magical sapphires that I had obtained from the ancient witch Guin Britton in my hand, I felt a bit worried. Would these sapphires, that had been such a godsend before, be enough to rescue me from the unremunerative boredom that my life had settled into?

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For truth be told, I was a bit bored. Tragedies were everywhere in today’s world, from rampant crime in our major cities, to corruption in higher governments not only here, but all around the world! The media was covering it all up, and you needed to be a determined researcher on the internet to figure out what was really going on.

Even our medical system was incredibly corrupted nowadays, taking huge amounts of dollars to treat illnesses, most of which were completely preventable- requiring only a change of lifestyle and diet to reverse- but instead were being ‘treated’ by massive amounts of drugs and surgeries- because that is where the profit lay! Treating the symptoms, not in preventions or cures.

This train of thought brought to mind my good friend Alexander Blackdeer, who was an expert on natural health care and diet, and had literally zero time for the standard medical paradigm of drugs and surgery, with no attention at all to diet and lifestyle. Many was the time he had waxed eloquent on the subject, cursing those for-profit clinics of which we had two ‘gold-standard’ ones in our small city of La Crosse Wisconsin. They were the Gundersen Clinic, and Mayo, and both were wonderful for emergency disease and accident care; while being also nearly worthless at restoring or fostering health.

I ran those bright blue sapphires through my fingers, as the bright outside sunshine made them glisten in my hand. I knew their power; they had transported me back through time, back to 5th century Britain, and back again. Time travel is intoxicating stuff, let me tell you…

I looked around the office, and remembered when Guin had walked through that frosted glass door, a sweet little old lady. She hadn’t remained in that form, leading me back to 1956 and the old Mary E. Sawyer auditorium, and the young Elvis, not to mention early England!

And she had given me those gemstones, those sapphires, to enable me to do so, and I still had them. But I didn’t have much else, right now- I needed a case, and I needed some cash. Peaceful La Crosse was both a blessing and a curse, at least to me. Except for Chicago and Milwaukee transplants coming in and committing awful crimes, (for which they were quickly jailed, and yanked from their section 8 housing and put into government-provided jail instead), there really was very little in the way of crime in the wonderful Coulee Region.

And Danger- (and crime of course)- Is My Business! Geez- I even had those smoking revolvers on my sign atop the door. Perhaps I should just open a candy and ice cream place- kind of a Pearl Ice Cream and Candy store, maybe Hoeschler’s Top Floor Sweets! Maybe with a smoking ice cream cone crossed with a lollipop…

1850 La Crosse

The phone rang then, and my idiotic fantasies were shattered, which was a good thing. I looked at my candlestick phone, the reproduction of a 1930’s telephone, and listened to the antique ring. I am a living anachronism, wishing that I lived in 1930’s La Crosse- and, in most ways, I am- kind of. I drive an antique car; while not a 1930’s vehicle, a 1950’s Packard is still in my wheelhouse. And, I dress in retro clothing for the most part, and try to ignore most of modern music and culture, since it all seems like a huge step downwards.

I answered the phone, but only after 2 rings. I like to keep them waiting. It was Alexander.

Thanks for finally answering, Kemosabi, he said.

My faithful Indian companion! I answered. I expected a smoke signal, but I guess this will have to do.

Wampum low, he said, firewood dear, but Obama phone free!

Alexander was quite the kidder, since he deplored any government program, and especially those that were earmarked for a particular race, or races. I did have to laugh, though. Quietly, and sadly, since there was truth in this joke, a sad truth about the devolution of our society, where votes were bought and paid for.

So, Alexander- to what do I owe this call? I had a big smile on my face- I always love hearing from my best friend, actually the one true like-minded person I think I have on this planet.

I think we need to take a road trip! he said in his deep voice, a voice that was almost a rumble, so low was it. I am on my way, he said then, and hung up.

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I was waiting for him downstairs. He only had a short drive down from Indian Hill on the near north side, and soon appeared in front of my high rise detective top-floor office building. I was wearing only a light suede jacket I had found in a vintage clothing store, tailored to my exact size probably about 70 years before I was born. For truth be told, although I dress and drive vintage, I myself have not yet attained 30 years of age.

I had my Brewers hat shading my eyes from the bright, early spring sunshine as a red Studebaker pickup rounded the corner, coming down 5th street from a left turn in front of the post office. Like myself, Alexander had an old vehicle, a 1960 Studebaker that had been totally restored and updated. My friend had kept the original, manual four-on-the-floor gear shift,