The Lost Episodes: Curb Your Enthusiasm: For All Eternity -- ’til Death Do Us Part (Vol 5)

By John Miller and Ray DiSilvestro

Coinciding with the return of the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season 10), the authors invite you to sit back, relax and enjoy their FIFTH! offering: The LOST Episodes: Curb Your Enthusiasm – For ALL Eternity -- ’til Death Do Us Part (Volume 5). Will Larry and Cheryl finally reconcile? Will Richard Lewis finally find true love? What became of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen? Does Nan Funkhouser let go of Marty? And does Wanda find the love she deserves? And does Leon ultimately find love in the role of a surrogate father? Volume 5 brings closure to these and many other questions left open in Season 9 of the TV show, and offers a fresh set of story-lines for the next. Find out how what happened to the authors after their initial material brought them to Hollywood and onto the set of Curb Your Enthusiasm (including guest roles in the ninth season). More fun, more stories, more laughs, and more episodes! While we won’t offer outright spoilers, Volume 5 of The LOST Episodes offers numerous hints and scenarios that are used in Season 10 of Curb Your Enthusiasm. All the regular characters are back: Larry David, JB Smoove, Jeff Garlin, Susie Essman, Richard Lewis, Ashly Holloway, Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen, and more! Sadly, Bob Einstein (Marty Funkhouser) passed away just as Season 10 of Curb began production and all the material we wrote involving him had to be redone---BUT... Bob’s death doesn't restrict his participation in Season 10 of Curb. Through careful use of previously filmed Curb episode clips, Funkhouser (Bob) will ‘haunt’ Larry throughout season 10! And check out the guest stars for the episodes included here: Vince Vaughn, Sean Penn, Jonah Hill, Bruce Willis, Christopher Walken, Albert Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg, Catherine O'Hara, Sally Struthers, Pamela Anderson, Jeff Tweedy, Flavor Flav, John Ratzenberger, Daniel Kaluuya, Megan Ferguson, Gilbert Gottfried, and many more. Fresh, outrageous, offensive and addictive, The Lost Episodes - Volume 5 will still grab you from the start and keep you entertained to the very last page. Once again, you won’t be able to put this one down! [Includes Bonus Material and Deleted Scenes.] Not to be missed!

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Miller
• Release date: Dec 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463880791

John Miller

John Miller's first novel, The Featherbed, received stellar reviews and earned a devoted readership upon its release in 22. Besides novels, Miller has written on culture and politics, and in his spare time he provides consulting services to local and international non-profit organizations and governments. He lives in Toronto

Book preview

The LOST Episodes:

Curb Your Enthusiasm

For ALL Eternity --’til Death Do Us Part

John Miller

&

Ray DiSilvestro

Copyright © John Miller - Ray DiSilvestro, 2019

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof

may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever

without the express written permission of the publisher

except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, 2019

ISBN: 9781713309031

Inquiries and comments: [e-mail]

Note: CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM is a registered service mark of Home Box Office, Inc. This material is a parody and is not affiliated with Home Box Office. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious or works of parody. Any resemblance to real persons (living or dead, or undead, for ALL ETERNITY), places and incidents is purely coincidental and unintentional. No animals or celebrities were used in trial tests of this material. All materials used in producing this book are certified organic, free-range, perfume and gluten free, politically correct and not available as a suppository. CAUTION: May cause sleeplessness, dizziness or orthostatic hypotension (head rush), dry mouth, confusion, fear, unusual thoughts or behaviors, blurred vision, weakness and fatigue, or feelings of elation (euphoria)…and possibly, bladder leakage. Consult your physician before asking for Volume 6! (No, there won't be a Volume 6...unless Larry and Leon go ON THE ROAD...The DEFIANT ONES, 2020?... Larry and Leon in Hong Kong? Larry and Leon star in the Miami Vice remake?)

Dedicated to Bob Einstein.

A genuinely nice guy.

Special acknowledgement to

Larry David, for his inspiration, encouragement and guidance.

Table of Contents

Read Me First vi

For ALL Eternity - An astonishing backstory viii

1 Episode 1 - Funeral for a (best?) Friend 1

2 BONUS MATERIAL [DIRECTOR’S NOTES: DELETED SCENES] 30

3 Episode 2 – LOVE, For Sale 35

4 Episode 3 – I THINK I LOVE Her 64

5 Episode 4 – Reconciled 91

6 BONUS MATERIAL (2) [DIRECTOR’S NOTES] 114

7 Episode 5 – For ALL Eternity 116

8 BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!? (VOLUME 6?) 134

READ ME FIRST. Trust us, it gets better….

This page is boring…but trust us, it gets better, MUCH better.

This book is written in a style that alternates insights and narrative of its development with script-like outline-episode of a sitcom. The sitcom we wrote mimics the style of the HBO comedy series, Curb Your Enthusiasm. The original ‘Lost’ episodes (Volume 1) were not so much ‘Lost’, as, ‘Never Found’. Volume 2, on the other hand is more of a transition from ‘Lost’ to ‘FOUND!’. Our original intention was to put together a few samples of our creative abilities to showcase our talent (again, Volume 1). Creating the material was EASY. Volume 2 followed up with our placing the finished work with the right people and getting it produced. After that we started spinning out whatever came to mind – for example, Curb Your Enthusiasm: THE MOVIE (Volume 3) and The ‘G’ Spot (Volume 4). Due to a tragic change in the cast of Curb Your Enthusiasm, much of our original material developed for Season 10 potential, had to be scrapped. The details of this back-story can be found in the next chapter that explains the title and the theme of the book: 'For ALL Eternity --’til Death do us part’.

The material we created follows a format similar to that used in the production and filming of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The scenes are labeled with minimal scene setup identified. Each scene leads off with an identifier. For example:

1. EXT. LARRY IN HIS CAR, DRIVING INTO DOCTORS OFFICE BUILDING PARKING LOT – DAY (ONE)

This denotes Scene #1 is an exterior (EXT) scene, on day number ONE of the episode. The named character (Larry) is driving in his car and the setting for the scene is the parking lot of an office building.

Occasionally, there is a need for a character to pause during a dialog line (as if thinking before speaking). For this purpose, a series of periods (…) is used to denote the pause – e.g.: Leon: You know, a pussy pad…and maybe even buy me a shaggin’ wagon…

Scene to scene transitions rely on the ability of the reader (viewer) to grasp and visualize the change in settings. For example, if a scene ends with the characters leaving an interior (INT) setting and the next scene is an exterior (EXT) shot, it’s presumed that the characters walked outside. We chose to include explicit scene transition notes when there was a particularly complex scene change denoted by the identifier:

< SCENE TRANSITION >

Unless otherwise noted, scenes end with a ‘fade out to black’ and begin with a ‘fade in from black’.

FUNKVISION: For this book, we're incorporating a series of flashbacks using actual previous audio and video clips of Bob Einstein's Marty Funkhouser character from earlier seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm. These flashbacks, denoted throughout by the label, FUNKVISION 'come' to Larry as a past memory or in (apparent) moments of Marty visiting Larry as a ghost.

Read! Enjoy! Laugh…out loud!

For ALL Eternity –

An astonishing backstory

Volume 5 - ‘For ALL Eternity --’til Death do us part’ was something we (John and Ray) had in mind even before we appeared in the final episode of season 9 of Curb Your Enthusiasm. We had discussed (debated) the anti-cliffhanger aspect of the Fatwa arc of season 9 and how would that carry over or transition in season 10. Larry (of course) was not killed by the Fatwa assassins...although readers may have seen/read certain references by a noted Curb director to the movie Ghost (not coincidentally, one of the guest stars we recommended was Whoopi Goldberg - see Episode 1 that follows). Part of our season 10 inspiration was driven by moments of ‘art imitates life’: Jeff (Garlin) followed Larry in real life by filing for divorce. We also noticed a definite pattern --- a significant number of the cast (Larry, Susie, Richard, Bob) and production company (Gavin Polone) had put their homes (mostly LA area) up for sale. Was everyone leaving town for good?

We put together a scenario that opened the season with complete separation --- everyone would be divorced (Larry and Cheryl, Jeff and Susie, Marty and Nan, Mary and Ted, and Leon and a ‘serious’ girlfriend-who sued him for alimony), but still on good terms, with the exception of Richard Lewis who would be engaged to be married in the near future to 'the woman of his dreams'.

Our season 10 arc-storyline of 10 outlines focused on reconciliation of the divorced couples, highlighted the typical ups and downs of engagements and ended with supremely awkward (re)marriages of several of the

couples. We discussed several angles for the storyline and came up with ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’. Our season 10 would end with four weddings (re-marriages) that were easy enough to write-create, but who would die for the funeral 'angle' (in the season 10 opener)? We couldn’t/ wouldn’t select any of the primary cast. Who to kill off? Who’s a recognizable player that could be killed off? A look back at previous Curb seasons gave the answer: Tessler! The Matt Tessler character (Michael McKeon) only appeared in 2 episodes - The Bar Mitzvah (2007-Season 6 Ep10) and Vow of Silence (2010-Season 8 Ep5) --- both were significant roles and the character was something of an enemy/rival to Larry. But…simply killing him off was too obvious. We had to twist it a bit---add a scheme of sorts, and drag Larry into it. We had an insanely funny storyline building: Tessler wanted to fake his own death and wanted Larry’s assistance, which turned ‘upside down’ when the Tessler character is actually killed, and Larry becomes the prime suspect as Larry friends (Jeff, Susie, Marty, Richard), inadvertently become witnesses against him.

And then, it all went down the drain. Bob Einstein (aka Marty Funkhouser) succumbed to his battle with Leukemia in January 2019, only 6 weeks after his 76th birthday.

We met Bob in 2012 and without a doubt he was as nice as they come. His sense of comic timing was impeccable. He was smart and decent, which is an exception for LA-Hollywood. We were extremely reluctant to discuss the first

episode we wrote/built around Bob’s Marty Funkhouser character: ‘FunkHouse’ (The LOST Episodes - Volume 2) did not paint his character in the best of light - making him an adult bed-wetter with (somewhat) childish behaviors, but Bob took it in stride and encouraged us to write it.

‘FunkHouse’ made Bob laugh---the highest compliment we could ever receive from a comic genius. (Many people don’t have clue that Bob was a massively talented comic writer, having created material for the Smothers Brothers, Sonny