In Search Of Love

By Robin Sharma

This book is about an evolutionary story of a man in search of love. It's about understanding the intricacies that are encountered by one in the path of love. A fantastic story of self discovery, evolution and love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: One Point Six Technologies Pvt Ltd
• Release date: Nov 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9789352011063

Robin Sharma

Robin Sharma is a man on a mission. His mission is tospread awareness and strategies which would maximize thenumber of blissful souls all over the world, thus eventuallyturning this whole world into a blissful place for everyone. Heis professionally a sailor working as Chief Officer for MaerskTankers.Being a sailor, he spent a considerable amount of time insolitude at sea. He utilized this time learning strategies to ensurethat he enjoys the best qualities of emotions always. Once heattained mastery over his life, attained all his personal goals, hebegan with a new mission to bring a positive change in the world.He is also an NLP master practitioner and a public speaker whospreads the best of strategies in the simplest possible way.Robin Sharma is a highly adventurous man. Name it and hehas done all, ranging from sky diving, river rafting, scuba divingand mountain biking to many more pulse racing sports. He is afinisher at the MTB Uttarakhand 2015 - completing the cyclingevent from Nainital to Dehradun - following the toughest oftrails through the mountains.Connect with him on http://www.merchantrobin.com

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Life is a Game. Hence, everything that life comprises is also a Game! The most significant part of this game is the relationships you have with people. Being in love is the toughest yet the most exciting and fulfilling game most people ever play.

You probably don’t appreciate it when I call love and relationship a Game, isn’t it? However, I didn’t like to call it that either, and neither did he, but eventually, we learned that purity should be in thoughts and actions; words have always been played around. So, call it what you like, but the bottom line is that love is a game, and you have to play it for the sake of the one you love. Otherwise, one day you may meet the one but lose her to someone who would play a better game than you and may never even love her as much as you. I would have lost my love if I hadn’t met Raj.

I was told a story: the story of Raj narrated by Raj.

As portrayed in the fictitious world of cinema, not all Rajs are charming and cool right from the beginning. Neither are they lucky in love right from the word go. This Raj’s story began in the abyss of his life. And it was his story that brought me clarity, changed me for good, and inspired me to become the hero of my own life and the life of the girl I ardently loved.

I met Rajesh Prabhakar when I was pretty young, struggling to create a respectful life. I was looking for a job, and was eager to prove my potential to the world. During that struggling phase, the worst I could have imagined happened. My school-time sweetheart, who was the one, abandoned me. Now when I look back, I know it had nothing to do with her but me. I brought it upon myself and blamed her for months until I went to my cousin’s place in Mumbai.

I felt empty inside, and nothing seemed to matter even when my whole life was ahead of me. I even started to hate the person I loved so dearly! But as they say, significant pain is followed by great

learning. And, it was my time to meet the teacher who made me what I am today — a happy, self-loving man.

Six months and several futile applications later, I was advised to meet the recruiters personally to make an impression. Once I was dumped, there was no reason for me to stay back in my hometown. Thus I decided to head to the dreamland, one place with thousands of job opportunities, Mumbai.

Although heartbroken, sad and weak, I always kept a brave face, as my parents did not deserve a gloomy and discouraged son. Throughout the school, irrespective of my performance, they always encouraged me, saying, Don’t worry about the results, just work hard and be a good person; good things will automatically follow. I always wondered how many parents would dare say such words to their kids in this competitive world, where low marks certify someone as dumb.

Thus I kept a happy face irrespective of the turmoil within; however, getting dumped by a childhood love had made me bitter, angry and frustrated. I had developed a general dislike for all girls. (This is something I laugh about now.)

Mumbai is a land of success stories, and I believed the city would quickly purge all the pain I was carrying. So, with that hope and the desire to achieve my dreams, I stepped out of my home, ‘the gateway to heaven, Dalhousie’. Fortunately, one of my cousins worked in Mumbai, so lodging wasn’t a concern. However, I had no definite plan for how long I would be staying in Mumbai, and I had never met my cousin before. Thus I was a bit apprehensive about becoming an overstaying, unwelcome guest.

i. Arrival in Mumbai

I arrived in Mumbai with the notion that I could expect a more leisurely road ahead since I had seen enough shit in my life (a recent heartbreak).

Rajesh couldn’t make it to the station to receive me, as my train was delayed and he had a prior appointment. Baffled by the speed of people running around, I made a call to him. A muscular voice gave me directions to reach his apartment and told me to take the keys from the neighbour, Mr Francis. Then I also called my mother to inform her about my safe arrival in Mumbai. I also casually mentioned how I would reach my cousin’s house on my own. Mumbai, at the time, had a reputation in small towns that things were easily lost there. Stories like, if you put your luggage down for one second, then it just disappears, or if you put your kid down and you are not holding his hand, then the kid will disappear forever! Within seconds, my mother probably imagined the worst of stories and panicked. She made several calls to my aunt (Rajesh’s mother) and a few other relatives sharing her fears. Inferring from what Rajesh told me later, the gap between my first and the second call to my mother was very long for him. He had heard all the speeches on responsibility and carelessness during this period, How could you leave a small kid alone like this... was the summary of that time interval. I was almost nineteen years old but still a young child to an Indian mother.

Anyways, I got the keys to his apartment from his neighbour. And as there was no one in the flat, I comfortably got straight down to exploration. I saw the living room that had a sofa cum bed, TV, music system etc. I checked around and found a small space of seven feet by four feet which looked like a kitchen and an even smaller bathroom. I started looking around for other rooms; there was nothing else! I finally smiled as I realised that I had reached the big city with tiny houses!

ii. Meeting Rajesh Prabhakar:

Being a guest at someone’s house, whom you have never met, feels awkward. So I wondered how to react when the house owner would introduce himself to a stranger living in his house.

My misgivings were dispelled when he arrived at eight in the evening. I opened the door and saw Raj. He was youthful, lean, fair, of medium height, and seemingly the same age as I was. Although we didn’t know each other, there wasn’t the discomfort I had expected. He was a no-bullshit type of a person, soon he asked me about the purpose of my visit and other general things, and his hassle-free, friendly demeanour put me completely at ease.

Do you smoke or drink? he asked.

No, was my instant response, which I had been practising for a long time.

Then Rajesh clarified, Just to let you know; there should be no brotherhood shit between us; if you have certain habits, then it’s perfectly alright. You don’t have to hide from me worrying about what I would think of you etc. Consider me as a friend rather than some distant brother; then it would be simpler for both of us.

I responded, You are right! And I recently tried smoking, didn’t enjoy it, but I have continued to take occasional drags, and I haven’t tried drinking yet. I said, hoping that being the elder one, he would help me expand my horizon, but he didn’t discuss that further.

Okay, cool! was his reply, and then we watched TV together.

That was all I could remember from our first meeting. We had similar interests; we both liked to watch movies; physical fitness was on top of Raj’s list while I was on my way to make some changes in my life to become fit. He could easily spend the whole day reading books while I could watch TV the entire day. Soon, we comfortably settled into our routines. I tried to get over my past and her memories while catching up with the pace of Mumbai.

I also had an impression that Mumbai was unsafe, which kept me very alert during my stay. However, when I travelled around Mumbai, I found it was just like any other city, probably safer. I never found a quiet street; there were crowds in all directions; hence I never worried about getting mugged or waylaid. It was fascinating to see how fast people walked in this city; people walked like a marching army, in perfect sync and pace with each other while I barely prevented myself from getting submerged by the crowd. At times Raj made fun of my slow lifestyle, not lazy but slow; for example, he thought I took a long time to finish bathing. Back in Dalhousie, things were easy; people were never in a hurry, distances between the key locations around the city were tiny; thus, places were easier to reach. The commute duration to any place within the town was never more than fifteen minutes.

The bathing preparation took me longer than what most Mumbaikars took to get done with their entire morning rituals. Raj used to leave even before I was awake to avoid the peak traffic hours. I targeted the same result using a different strategy. I always left long after the peak traffic time. I used to reach my destination at noon, to apply in the shipping offices for a job. Within a week, I understood that mere application would not work; still, I targeted a minimum of two rejections a day for a month.

No matter what hour of the day or which part of the city, people were always in a hurry to get somewhere. I spent many evenings sitting on the Marine Drive, watching people walk by - they were all swift walkers, unlike how my friends and I strolled in Dalhousie. Back at home, we take one step and then decide whether to take the next step or not. Most evenings, people just chill and while away time. But in big cities, no one has such a luxury, probably because a lot of time is spent reaching ‘somewhere’.

I always returned before Raj, so I got the duty of chopping the vegetables and boiling dal (Lentils) while Raj did the actual cooking. He was a fantastic chef who knew so many varieties of dal itself that I could never complain about having the same kind of food, as every day it tasted like having a new dish on the dinner table.

I always felt that Raj was different from most people I had ever met. Gradually, we became pals and shared each other’s life experiences.

Once Raj invited me to join him for a client’s party at a venue close to his office. It was the first time I saw his office, and it was beyond my expectations. Assuming it would be similar to the size of his flat, I was overwhelmed. A significant floor area in a well-maintained building, which was very stylishly designed. It didn’t make any sense to me; why would such a business owner live in such a tiny flat, sleeping on a sofa cum bed?

After he completed work for the day, we headed for the party at the Oberoi hotel on Marine Drive (the same hotel opposite of which I spent many hours wondering how it would look from inside). It was better than what I had imagined. I entered the hotel fearlessly, following Raj’s lead. We walked past a big hall, which looked like a big restaurant. Marvellous tables were placed facing the ocean, with most people just sitting there, reading a magazine or newspaper. I wondered how the hotel allows people to only sit there without ordering any food. Then Raj and I took an elevator to the basement. I was barely managing my overflowing emotions when the elevator opened, and a bouncer welcomed us. The security there asked Raj for his name; they went through the list and opened a large door leading to the party hall with a smile. It was mind-blowing! Everything was bright yet comfortable, the music was very soothing, and the party hall was decorated with some poetic theme beyond my comprehension. The dishes served were continental but customised to Indian taste buds. I saw people from all walks of life and listened intently to the conversations they had with Raj. Everyone in the party seemed to be from the elitist society of our country. Whether they spoke, walked or greeted, their every move exuberated power. I was mesmerised by the glamour and energy, I wanted to try my first drink, but I realised that Raj was sticking to juices in a party overflowing with alcohol, so I decided to postpone my urge. After many rejections that I had faced (on the job front) in past weeks, the party was a refreshing change.

On our way back home, unable to keep my curiosity at bay, I asked, Brother, you have a great office! And this party was spectacular! All those people looked so rich and happy.

Yes, they are all quite rich financially as most of them represented the top 2% of the business families in India. And I am glad you liked it. He replied casually.

Liked it? I loved it! Even love would be an understatement. I am blown away by it. Thank you so much for taking me along.

You are welcome; I thought it would excite you.

I asked apprehensively, Brother, do you mind if I ask you a question?

Sure, Raj replied

I was about to ask a difficult question. However, it was too notable for staying unanswered. So, I gathered all the courage and asked, Why do you live in that house? You have a good business, even as per Dalhousie standards, your office is great, that too in Mumbai! You can surely afford a much, much bigger place, isn’t it?

You don’t like my house anymore, the house that sheltered you, kept you comfortable, took such good care of you! One external influence, and you disrespect it by saying, THAT HOUSE! I thought he was annoyed by my question, but soon, he laughed at my anxious expression and said, Chill, brother, I am just kidding. I can afford a bigger place if that is your question. And, I am doing well in my business, but do you think just because I could, I should move to a bigger apartment?"

I had no idea what he meant by that, so I said, Why not? You would live with much more comfort and space there. You can purchase appliances that would make your life easier; you would be happier, isn’t it?

Robin, what is your dream in life? Raj asked as he changed the discussion.

This question went over my head, as I never dreamt of something great in life. I wanted to impress this business person with my ambition, but somehow I felt like telling the truth, My dream has always been to work on a ship, save about one crore rupees, and then open a music and movie rental store in Dalhousie. That way, I can watch movies at work throughout the day while my employees take care of the business. And I would relax for the rest of my life. However, now I feel that I should aim for something more, something bigger!

He was smiling while I told him about my initial plan, and as soon as I told him about a new aim, he got serious and asked, Why do you feel that? Your plan is simple and fantastic. Are you thinking differently after having seen this party?

No, it changed before I came to Mumbai. I started having these new thoughts for life. I withheld the information that the change was triggered by my ex-girlfriend, who thought I was not ambitious enough.

"Okay, that’s excellent. One should constantly evolve and follow his heart! So, I’ll answer your question now. I believe the purpose of life is to live it harmoniously, to always strive for objects which other people consider a sign of success & happiness is not my intention. The party we were in, the polished gems you saw, many of them were depressed in life. To feel good, many of them throw parties to prove a point to others, rather than themselves, that, ‘We are happy; we are sooo happy! I am the life coach for many of them, and I teach them how to be happy.

Not knowing what YOU really want would make you aim for things that the outer world describes as blissful. In pursuing such things, people often lose their balance in life and fall into depression and thus, there is rampant unhappiness. Being rich does not guarantee happiness, but becoming financially free with the balance of all the other elements of life could do that!

‘If you wish to be 100% at peace, then you should think like a saint. If you want to be financially free, you have to have the mindset of a businessman or an investor. If you wish for a wonderful love life, then you must learn the art of loving. And if you want to enjoy relationships and have fun in life, you must grow to be a player. Finally, if you want a perfect balance of all these, you must learn the game of life!

Life teaches you, guides you, but people often repeat their mistakes and stay rigid! For your information, I do have a bigger apartment in Andheri, but I do not live there because I do not need to. Look at my current schedule; I leave home at six in the morning, come back by ten at night, sometimes even later than that, working six days a week and sometimes even on Sundays. So, all I need right now is a place