Their Troublesome Crush: Kink & Showtunes, #1

By Xan West

In this queer polyamorous m/f romance novella, two metamours realize they have crushes on each other while planning their shared partner's birthday party together.

Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, all while planning their dominant's birthday party and trying to do a really good job.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xan West
• Release date: Nov 26, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393596455

Book preview

Their Troublesome Crush

Kink and Showtunes

Xan West

Contents

Content Warnings

About Their Troublesome Crush

A Brief Note About Trans and Non-Binary Terms

A Brief Note About BDSM and Polyamory Terms

Sunday April 10, 2011

Tuesday April 12, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Saturday April 23, 2011

Sunday April 24, 2011

Sunday April 24, 2011

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Epilogue - Sunday, May 29, 2011

Afterword

A Note for Readers

Acknowledgments

Also by Xan West

Praise for Xan’s Work

About Xan West

About Nine of Swords, Reversed

Excerpt from Nine of Swords, Reversed

Copyright © 2019 by Xan West

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

[e-mail]

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, locales or actual events is purely coincidental.

---

The author acknowledges the copyrighted or trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

76 Trombones, Action, All I Need is the Girl, Anshel, Avigdor, Bette Middler, Bisli, Boy Scouts of America, Brand New Day, Candye Kane, Cinderella (1957 musical), Cool, Corcoran Jump Boots, The Divine Ms. M., Doc Martens, Donna Donna, Dreamwidth, Effie Perine, Fiddler on the Roof (1964 musical) The Fifth Element (1997 film), Gchat, Giants in the Sky, Good Morning, Baltimore, A Great Big Woman, Guys and Dolls (1950 musical), Harold and the Purple Crayon, Humphrey Bogart, Jerome Robbins, I Am Changing, I Feel Like I’m Not Out of Bed, Yet, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Iva Archer, Julie Andrews, Junior Mints, Kasper Gutman, Kliks, Le Jazz Hot, Livejournal, The Maltese Falcon (1941 film), Marian the Librarian, Milla Jovovich, The Music Man (1957 musical), My Fair Lady (OBC 1956) O What a Beautiful Mornin’, The Oldest Established, Pattern Play, Peshe, Peter Lorre, Razzle-Dazzle, Rebel Without a Cause (1955 film), Sam Spade, Show Me, Sidewalk Tree, Singin’ in the Rain, Something’s Coming, Splenda, Stephen Sondheim, Stepsister’s Lament, Sydney Greenstreet, Take Back Your Mink, Tigger, Victor/Victoria (1982 film), West Side Story (1957 musical), When You’re Home, Wilmer Cook, Yentl the Yeshiva Boy, Ya Got Trouble, You’re Fucked.

---

Digital version 1.0

Cover design and illustration by Hannah Aroni

All rights reserved.

Image Description of the cover:

An illustrated cover featuring a fat brunette cane-using woman in a cupcake-printed dress holding hands with a fat redheaded trans man in jeans and an open plaid shirt in front of a bakery display case full of cupcakes.

Content Warnings

Detailed description of gender dysphoria.

References to being misgendered by family.

Reference to familial estrangement.

References to fat oppression, trans oppression and ableism.

References to being a survivor and managing PTSD.

References to depression.

Brief reference to familial pressure to mask autism.

Use of the term queer as a reclaimed slur.

Reference to the lesbian sex wars.

Many references to BDSM, including Daddy/boy dynamic, D/s, service, bondage, and pain play. 

Depiction of service provided in the context of a D/s relationship.

Depiction of a BDSM scene that includes bondage, D/s, and service (Chapter 10 only).

About Their Troublesome Crush

In this queer polyamorous m/f romance novella, two metamours realize they have crushes on each other while planning their shared partner's birthday party together. Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, all while planning their dominant's birthday party and trying to do a really good job.

A Brief Note About Trans and Non-Binary Terms

This book has two trans men characters: Ernest and Gideon. This book has three non-binary characters: Shiloh, VJ, and Blaze. (There are a few other minor trans and non-binary characters, but they don’t get significant page time in this book.) These characters use different terms to refer to themselves and each other, so I thought I would include a brief note about each, including a pronunciation guide (in italics) for potentially unfamiliar terms. While some non-binary and trans folks shift between pronouns, all of the trans and non-binary characters in this story use one set of pronouns.

I’m including a full set of pronoun examples (Nominative, Objective, Possessive Adjective, Possessive Pronoun and Reflective) here, so you can see how they are used.

So, for a character like Nora or Judith, who uses she/her pronouns, you would use them thus: She knows, I ask her, Her tarot card shows, That is hers, She likes herself.

Similarly, for a character who uses he/him pronouns, like Ernest or Gideon, you would use them this way: He knows, I ask him, His tarot card shows, That is his, He likes himself.

Both Shiloh and VJ uses ze/zir pronouns, which are used this way: Ze (zee) knows, I ask zir (zhere), Zir (zhere) tarot card shows, That is zirs (zheres). Ze likes zirself (zhereself).

Blaze uses xie/xer pronouns, so you would use those this way: Xie (zee) knows, I ask xer (zer), Xer (zer) tarot card shows, That is xers (zers), Xe likes xerself (zerself).

A Brief Note About BDSM and Polyamory Terms

Ernest and Gideon are in a D/s relationship that centers service-based submission, alongside being romantic partners, living together, and chosen family. In this relationship Gideon is referred to as Daddy, and Ernest is referred to as boy or sometimes as Gideon’s good boy.

Gideon and Nora are in a D/s relationship that includes but does not center service; In this relationship, Gideon is referred to as Sir, and Nora is referred to as girl.

Ernest and Nora begin the story as metamours, because they each are in a significant relationship with the same person: Gideon.

Their Troublesome Crush

Sunday April 10, 2011

Ernest had the best idea for Daddy’s birthday and he couldn’t wait to share it with Nora. When would she get here? He was so excited that his hands were fluttery, and he was bouncing a little. They were going to throw Gideon an amazing birthday party, and Gideon was going to ruffle his hair and call him a good boy, and cup Nora’s cheek and give her that sweet smile he had just for her, and he would tell them both they did a good job. There was nothing better than doing a good job.

Ernest was getting ahead of himself, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. He always got giddy at the beginning of tasks; this was their first joint task doing service for Gideon as metamours, and that was exciting, and Ernest was rather bouncy in general, anyway. Luckily, Nora was more grounded and moved slowly and deliberately, so they would balance each other out, he thought. Ernest had this image in his head, of himself tugging on Daddy’s hand, racing forward, unruly short red curls going every which way, and Nora holding Gideon’s other hand, moving slow and steady, gazing up at him like he hung the moon, her tight dark curls framing her face in a somewhat controlled cloud. Maybe there was a song in that, he thought, the two rhythms dancing around the melody, balancing it. His fingers moved on his thighs, building the rhythms, as his head started to fill with the melody. Then two women sat right next to him, talking loudly about the bat mitzvah they were planning, and he lost the song altogether. He should have sat in the corner.

Ernest moved to the corner table, which was quieter, thankfully, but he couldn’t get the song back, so he sketched out the idea in his notebook and turned his attention back to the party planning. There were a ton of cupcake shops in NYC, but Nora favored this one on the Lower East Side; they were meeting there so Ernest could try them out. He still wasn’t sure cupcakes were the right choice. They would be perfect for his own birthday, but perhaps Gideon would want something more dignified. He had his eye on a pie shop in Brooklyn. But it made sense to at least try the cupcakes, didn’t it? How could he resist a chance to try cupcakes?

Maybe they should get a half dozen and sample. It would give him a chance to take leftovers home and see what Daddy thought. But he knew Nora was diabetic and that made it thorny to fill the table with cupcakes. What if it was a mean thing to do, since she probably could only have a few bites? At least, that was what she generally did with desserts, when they had gotten them in the past. They always shared so she could have a taste but not mess up her blood sugar. But maybe it wasn’t right for him to not ask just because she was diabetic? He didn’t want to act like he was in charge of her food choices.

He thought it through, considering it from a few angles, trying to figure out what would be the most considerate and the least intrusive and the most respectful