Some Spells Are Best Left Uncast: Diva Delaney Mysteries, #11

By Anni Jayde

Diva Delaney is turning twenty-five and one of her clients has an unwanted present for her. Diva knows the gift is going to change her life, but she isn't sure what impact it will have. Only time will tell whether it will be a good thing, or if it will end up being an utter disaster.

Roger Mayhew's questionable penchant either for gambling or debauchery catches up with him and he winds up in serious trouble. Diva will need to do what she can to rescue her archenemy's father. Helping Angelica in any way goes against her instincts, yet she owes the lawyer. Not even her animosity for her old high school nemesis will be enough to make her turn her back on the hapless warlock.

Rumor has it that someone is using magical means to steal jewelry from conjurers' stores in Boston. Diva is hired to try to catch the culprit, but she'll have to resort to unusual means in order to be successful. This case isn't going to be an easy one, but she won't be alone. Toby Jenkins will join her in her crusade to nab the mysterious robber.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Seize The Night Agency
• Release date: Nov 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393151821

Book preview

Chapter One

WAKING UP WHEN MY ALARM began to beep, I blindly groped around until I found my clock and switched it off. It was tempting to stay in bed all day, but duty called. I had clients booked in and I had no choice but to get up and go to work.

Opening my eyes, my heart lodged in my throat for a moment when I saw I was surrounded by dead people. Happy twenty-fifth birthday! Jess and the Three Stooges shouted in glee.

Mustering up a smile wasn’t easy. It was hard to pretend to be happy about the fact that I was a year older. All the joy had gone out of my life a few weeks ago when Haydn had decided to remain in London. He’d stayed to help his mother and sister recover from their ordeal of being kidnapped by a coven of overambitious conjurers. Thanks, girls. And guy, I added before Reggie could throw a hissy fit at being excluded.

You should have taken the day off to celebrate, chicky, Maryanne said. You only turn twenty-five once.

There’s nothing special about this milestone, it’s just a day like any other, I muttered as I headed for the bathroom. Inga would make my favorite meal tonight, but that was about the extent of our celebrations. We’d stopped buying presents for each other a few years ago. I was sure we would revive the tradition once the next generation of Delaney children were born.

You need to break out of this funk you’re in, Fran scolded me. Maybe you should think about getting back into the dating scene again.

You mean letting my grandmother pimp me out to warlocks she thinks will bring more money and prestige to our coven? I corrected her. No thanks. If I ever start dating again, it’ll be with men I’m interested in, not ones who only want me for my connections.

She’s so stubborn, Reginald complained. She won’t let us set her up with any of the warlocks that we’ve chosen for her.

That’s because she grew up with most of them and she knows they aren’t her type, Jess said. It sounded like she was striving for patience. They’d had this conversation many times during the past few weeks.

Ignoring them, I went about my usual routine of making coffee, eating my breakfast and doing my makeup, then headed for my car. In my doldrums, I’d forgotten that Satan could be lurking outside. I was reminded of his malevolent presence when he sped over to me and launched himself at my legs. Stumbling back, I hit the door and cursed when razor-sharp claws raked both of my shins a few times. It was a blitz attack and the horrible imp raced away before I could react. Damn you, Satan! I shouted, shaking my fist at his receding back in futile anger. I should have teleported myself into my car, but it was too late now.

That’s his way of wishing you a happy birthday, Jess said solemnly as she swept through the door. The others snickered along with her as I limped over to my Mercedes and climbed inside. The scratches stung like crazy, but I used the healing paste Richard Privet had given me to fix my wounds once I was safely inside. While the gray goo was smelly, it did the trick and the scratches vanished.

I drove to work on autopilot with the specters coming along for the ride. Their gossiping was a comforting background noise that I only half listened to.

There was another robbery in Boston overnight, Fran said to Jess.

Where did they hit this time? my bestie asked.

It was another high-end jewelry store, Reginald replied.

They managed to get in, steal a bunch of stuff and get out without being detected, Maryanne added.

Maybe the thieves are conjurers, I mused, tuning in on their gossiping.

The stores are owned by our kind, from what we’ve heard, Fran told me, meaning magical folk rather than the dead. They have anti-teleporting, anti-telekinesis and anti-levitating spells in place. No one should be able to use magic to steal anything remotely. They have to physically break inside and take the items in person.

So, how are the robbers getting in? Jess asked.

It’s a mystery, Reggie said with a shrug. No one can figure out how they’re getting past the magical security measures and the electronic surveillance that are in place.

We heard the Council of Conjurers has picked someone to investigate the burglaries, Maryanne said. They’ll find the culprit sooner or later.

Three jewelry stores had been burgled now and the magical folk were abuzz. It was a scandal that such prestigious stores were being robbed. The owners had to be embarrassed that their security systems had failed them so badly.

I’d barely unlocked my front door and had flipped my sign over before I spied Nina Rivers leaving her bakery. It was the beginning of April now and the snowy weather was just a memory. Seeing the cakebox Nina was holding, a glimmer of happiness filtered through my perpetual gloom. I opened the door for her and she paused to give me a one-armed hug. Happy birthday, dear, she said. I made you a chocolate cake.

Thanks, Nina, I said in true gratitude as I took the cake from her. She always made me a cake for my birthday and they were always divine. Can you stick around and help me eat it? I asked.

She shook her head regretfully. I have some customers waiting, she replied. But I’ll try to pop in later. I have some fresh gossip to share.

Is it about the latest jewelry store that was burgled in Boston last night?

Her face fell that someone had beaten her to the punch. Those pesky ghosts, she muttered without realizing they were snickering at her right now. We’ll talk later, she said, then let herself out.

You’re not going to start eating that cake already, are you? Jess asked as I carried the cakebox over to the tiny kitchen.

It’s my birthday and I’ll eat cake if I want to, I said in a surly tone.

That’s not how the song goes, sweetie, Reggie said in pity.

What song? I asked blankly as I opened the box to admire the chocolate cake. Nina had written ‘Happy 25th birthday!’ in white frosting. I smiled at the witch’s hat she’d put at the bottom of the message.

Never mind, the ghost said with a heavy sigh. I keep forgetting how young you are. He’d died in the seventies, so the song he was referring to was probably ancient. I tended to listen to modern music rather than the classics. If they were anything like his purple satin shirt with paisley prints and chunky gold necklace with a peace sign hanging from it, I wasn’t missing out on much.

How is it? Maryanne asked me enviously as I cut a slice of cake and bit into it. Her platinum blonde wig sat slightly askew and her red lipstick was uneven. Wearing a white Marilyn Monroe style dress that revealed far too much of her saggy boobs and wrinkly chest, she was a standout in the dead community. She’d been in her fifties when she’d died and she was way too old to pull off that particular look.

It’s awesome, I replied with my mouth full.

Don’t eat too much at once, or you’ll make yourself sick, Fran warned me. Overweight and with curly red hair done in Shirley Temple style ringlets, she wore a blue dress with white polka dots and a matching bow in her hair. It was an unusual choice of outfits for a woman in her thirties.

Yes, Mom, I said mockingly, but flipped the lid of the box shut and put the cake in the fridge. Her advise was sensible and I knew I’d regret it if I scoffed down half the cake in one sitting.

Jess was hovering at the window, peering out through the blinds. Like the others, she was doomed to wear the clothing that she’d died in. She’d passed away in the eighties and wore a hot pink t-shirt, acid wash jeans and an electric blue headband with matching eyeshadow and legwarmers. The final touch was crimped blonde hair. It looks like Haydn is back in town, she said.

Choking on the last bite of cake, I pounded my chest with my fist. What? I croaked.

I can see his car parked across the street rather than his Uncle Nicholas’ car, she replied. Nicholas Creighton had been watching the store during Haydn’s absence.

The terrible trio zoomed over to cluster around her, but I remained where I was. It’s definitely Haydn’s car, Fran confirmed.

There he is! Reginald squealed. He sounded more like an excited teenage girl rather than a man in his twenties.

I thought he was going to stay in London for good, Maryanne mused. You’d better watch out, Diva, she added.

Why? I asked sourly as I rinsed off my plate and knife that I’d cut the cake with.

Haydn is staring at your office, Jess told me. I can’t read his expression very well, but I don’t think he’s happy.

We all shared a look of dread after she made that announcement. It was common knowledge by now that someone had cursed Haydn. Every time he kissed one of the numerous big-boobed blondes that he dated, an accident happened. It was the same curse he’d inflicted on me. It had lasted for eight long years before he’d finally dispelled it. The only difference was that I’d changed the enchantment so that he was the one who received an injury rather than the women he dated. To me, it was poetic justice after what he’d done to me, but I doubted he would see it that way.

The four phantoms were the only ones who knew for sure that I’d cast the curse on Haydn in a dream. Nina believed I was innocent, but it was only a matter of time before he found out I was the culprit. Then he would no doubt make me pay.

Chapter Two

TYRONE FERRELL FROM the butcher store next door dropped in after my first client for the day had left. He’d brought me a ham and salad sandwich. Hey, birthday girl, he said with a huge grin and gave me a hug. I thought you could use some food that doesn’t have any sugar in it, he added and handed me the wrapped sandwich. African-American, he had an athletic body that was showcased by his tight white t-shirt and jeans. He kept his hair cut short, which suited him.

Thanks, I said, face reddening slightly that he knew me so well. He must have seen Nina bringing me the cake and had figured I’d eat the whole thing myself. How are Peggy and Iliana?

They’re doing good, he replied. We chatted for a couple of minutes about his ex-wife and his daughter. They were still on track to move to our town during the summer break. Eve was looking for a suitable house for them to move into, since the end of the school year wasn’t that far away now. Her boss, Barry Clarke, was a proud father of a baby boy who had been born a few months ago. He was working fewer hours to help his wife take care of their baby, so Eve’s workload had increased. I’d better go, Tyrone said at last. I was secretly hoping he and Peggy might be able to give their romance another try. They both still cared about each other, so it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.

When he let himself out, I glanced across the street at Courtney’s office to see she wasn’t sitting behind her desk. She was probably at a client’s house figuring out how to transform it from an outdated eyesore into a work of art. She’d changed from being a lazy bum who slept in until ten every morning into a hard-working business woman. So far, her interior design business was doing well. Her clients were so happy that word of mouth was bringing in more jobs. She’d had a sign that said ‘Delaney Interior Designs’ stenciled in gold letters on her window.

I had an unexpected visitor turn up during my lunchbreak. Toby Jenkins strode inside and beamed at me when he saw what I was eating. Ooh, is that chocolate cake? he asked, gaze going to the plate that was sitting in front of me. I’d scoffed down the sandwich Tyrone had given me and was now working on eating my third slice of cake for the day.

Would you like some? I offered with an internal sigh. It was probably a good thing to share it rather than eat the entire thing myself.

Do you really need to ask? he replied with a grin. About my height, he was pudgy and had rapidly thinning brown hair. He was in his thirties and now permanently worked for the US Council of Conjurers. British, by birth, he’d been planted within our Council by the UK councilmembers to act as a spy. He’d helped us to oust the former leaders from their positions. As always, his taste in clothing was questionable. This time, his suit was purple, his shirt was orange and his tie was yellow.

Ask Toby where he gets his clothes from, Maryanne said. We need to burn that place to the ground before anyone else purchases anything from it. She cackled at her own wit and received long-suffering glances from the rest of us. Her sense of humor tended to be strange at times.

I made Toby some tea and handed him a generous slice of cake before taking my seat. It’s your birthday? he asked, reading the partial message that was on his slice.

Yep. I’m twenty-five, I said before he could ask.

Happy birthday! he exclaimed, then reached into his pocket. I brought you a present, he added and placed a large white diamond on my desk. My jaw dropped and he laughed at my shocked expression. I’m just joking, he said to my relief. I’d thought for a horrible moment that he was interested in me. Although I liked Toby, he was about as far from my type as a warlock could get. I actually came here for your help, he explained when I raised my eyebrows.

Ten bucks says he’s the conjurer the Council chose to find the jewelry store thieves, Maryanne predicted.

What do you need my help with? I asked.

Have you heard about the jewelry heists that have been occurring in Boston?

Yeah. I heard that a third one was hit last night.

I’ve been tasked with finding out who the culprits are, he said.

Told you, Maryanne gloated. Fran and Reggie rolled their eyes. Neither of them had taken her up on the bet this time.

Have you had any luck? I asked.

Not so far, he said ruefully and pointed at the diamond. That was left behind last night. I was wondering if you could scan it and see if you can come up with any information about the burglars.

Do you get to keep the diamond if you help him? Jess asked slyly.

I doubt it, I replied.

Really? Toby asked, clearly crestfallen. If this is a bad time, I can come back later.

I was talking to Jess, I told him.

He laughed sheepishly. I forgot about your ghostly friends.

Everyone always does, Maryanne said morosely. Once we die, it’s like we cease to exist to the living. We’re not important anymore.

We’re important to Diva, Jess pointed out.

She’d be lost without us, Reginald added.

I hope she can help Toby catch the robbers, Fran said, getting them back to the case that had been dropped onto my lap.

I picked up the diamond and unleashed my psychic abilities on it. Toby’s emotions were the most recent and the clearest. He was frustrated that he hadn’t found any clues so far. He was a strong warlock, but he hadn’t picked up on any spells that had been used to infiltrate the buildings or to steal the items that had gone missing.

Filtering out his thoughts, I focused on the person who had touched the diamond before him. The thief had worn gloves, of course, so he hadn’t left much of an impression behind. All I saw were hands wearing black leather gloves scooping up a bunch of loose gemstones out of a drawer. "This wasn’t kept in