The Pursuit of Peace

By Betsy E. Caram

 We are living in a time of increasing confusion and turmoil. People in the world are full of insecurity; they are troubled, lonely, and full of self-doubt. In the midst of such uncertainty, peace is a sacred treasure. Yet the sad truth is that many people, and this includes many Christians, have never enjoyed the blessings of true peace. Peace seems illusive and out of reach, and very difficult to maintain in our daily lives. God’s Word, however, encourages those who belong to Him to diligently “seek peace and pursue it” (Ps 34:14). This divine directive is meant to stir us up. If we truly desire to live a victorious Christian life, we cannot just be satisfied with wishing or yearning for peace. Instead, we must enthusiastically pursue it, and when we find it, we must grab hold of it and not let it go. For all who seek an inner calm from the fears and frustrations of life, it is our prayer that this book will help you in your personal pursuit of peace. Through Jesus Christ, we have been promised “abundant life” (Jn. 10:10). Still, many Christians cling to the wrong belief that abundant life is only possible when we reach heaven. However, there are keys in God’s precious Word—that when unlocked and received within our spirit—will bring us to that place of peace we are longing for in this life. These keys, which are established for us in “The Pursuit of Peace,” will enable us to “Win the War Within” as we conquer our insecurities through the wonderful, life-changing Word of God!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Zion Christian Publishers
• Release date: Jun 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9781596657045

Book preview

book.

Preface

Insecurity is one of mankind’s biggest problems. Yet, in every insecure person no matter what the degree, there is a continual, never dying, longing for security and peace. The purpose of this book is to convince us that our insecurities can, by God’s grace, be conquered. Yes, I know what you’re thinking and even saying to yourself right now. You just don’t understand my situation. I have tried and tried to conquer my insecurities. Even as a Christian, I just feel like it is an impossible task! However, we must get past this kind of feeling.

God wants to bless us and free us from the bondage of poor self-esteem. He also wants everyone in His Kingdom to be productive, happy, well-adjusted Christians, who possess self-worth and a good self-image. His desire is that we come to a place of peace and rest where we know we have conquered the lingering insecurities that plague our Christian life and often leave us feeling bewildered and defeated.  God loves us. He has paid a dear price for our salvation—and for our pursuit of peace. This is why He wants to help us win the war within, so that we will be free to serve Him with all of our heart, mind and spirit!

Being a Christian for forty-two years, and a pastor’s wife for twenty-nine of them, has been a great joy and privilege. I have experienced many victories, but regrettably I still find myself dealing with certain old bondages and insecurities that I had when I first came to Christ. Because of the ongoing war with some of these conflicts, which often made me feel defeated and out of victory, I pleaded with the Lord to deal a death blow to them.

Thankfully, in His wonderfully gracious way, God began to speak. Over time, thoughts of peace began to come into me like a river, flowing and flowing into my soul, bringing healing and hope instead of the usual regret and sadness. The Pursuit of Peace was birthed from my own experiences, as God opened up His Word and faithfully gave important keys to strengthen me in my walk with Him.

I am well aware that Kingdom life, as described in Romans 14:17, is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. Yet, certain insecurities have continually hindered me from enjoying the full blessings of God’s wonderful Kingdom. While there has always been a longing within me to love and be loved in an appropriate and genuine way, I know that my insecurities of the past, and those still remaining, have had an affect on my relationships with others. Since many of these insecurities were formed during childhood, I was given an understanding through God that they were there because of what others had said and done to me in the past. Nevertheless, the Lord has truly worked in my heart to help me forgive any and all trespasses against me. As a result, my heart is clear of any bitterness toward those who have hurt me.

By God’s grace, I have always understood that forgiveness is a basic, foundational truth of the Christian life. And if I want to grow, I cannot ignore His Word. God, in His mercy, forgave all of my sins the moment I said yes to Him, and it is for this reason that I am obligated to forgive others. Scripture clearly tells us that we are to forgive as we have been forgiven (Mt 6:14-15). Because of this, I knew I must always choose to release others from the death grip of my own unforgiveness; otherwise there could never be any full release from my insecurities. But even with this right biblical concept, my pursuit of peace still seemed incomplete and never fully within my reach.

It was only after God started speaking to me in fresh, new ways that I understood my inability to have a complete breakthrough in the insecure areas of my heart had much more to do with my own wrong actions and wrong thinking than anything others had done to me. After this revelation, I also rightly concluded that I had no one to blame for any lack of victory but myself. It truly has been my own negative, self-rejecting thought patterns that have hindered me, and this is not the fault of anyone but myself.

In addition to negative mindsets, I was also very proficient at protecting myself because of those particular insecurities within me. Consequently, I made many excuses for their existence in my life—to myself and to others. Of course, this hindered my spiritual growth. At the same time, it kept me from enjoying the intimate relationship with God, as well as others, that my soul desperately needed.

It is for these reasons that The Pursuit of Peace, which is subtitled, "Winning the War Within" became a reality. My intention for writing is not just to add to your library shelf another self-help book. In this study you will not find a psychological study rooted in human reasoning. Nor will you discover a simple ten step program of Christian principles that I personally believe everyone should live by in order to attain lasting peace.

To the contrary, any truths you may find helpful in this book have been birthed out of my personal search through the Word of God. These scriptural insights have helped and are continuing to help me conquer my own particular insecurities. But for all those who may read this book, and who also find themselves struggling with a poor self-image, my prayer is that the keys contained in this book will help you as well.

Chapter One

CONFRONTING OUR INSECURITIES

Let us begin by asking several important questions: Do you often feel a lack of confidence and peace within yourself? When you encounter a new situation, do you often lack the boldness to believe that you can handle it? Are you one who is continually dealing with anxiety, worry, and uncertainty in your daily circumstances? If you have answered in the affirmative to all these questions, I have some good news to share with you. Our God has unequivocal, indisputable answers for each and every one of these insecure feelings. God’s Word is filled with life-giving, straightforward solutions to any and all of our inward and outward struggles.

Yet how often do we feel, because of these insecurities, that we are coming face to face with too many no-win situations? For those who can relate to what I am saying, your life is certainly not filled with the true joy that God intended. Instead, you continue wrestling unnecessarily with the doubts and fears that accompany insecurity, never knowing how to break or even contend with the cycle of sadness caused by their impact upon your life.

All of us feel insecure at times, but some of us feel it chronically. While the origins are different for each of us, and our individual reactions to insecurity may look very dissimilar, we are all emotionally and spiritually impaired by its presence in our lives. Sadly, we are greatly depriving ourselves as we settle for a limited life rather than an abundant life in Jesus Christ. We are also cheating this world and the people around us of the truly formidable contribution we could be making if we were free from these negative influences upon our everyday lives.

Scripture makes it clear that this is not God’s heart for us. For example, in Jeremiah 29:11 we read: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end. This verse shows us how God’s heart is moved toward His people. His thoughts are thoughts of peace, for He is a loving, merciful, grace-giving God. His love is everlasting and unchangeable, which means He has designed much good for us and not evil. Furthermore, He wants to give us a very desirable end, which includes those things we have both hoped for and expected in this life.

Clearly, God wants you and I to have the enjoyment of all the good and perfect gifts that He has promised us. However, because of our insecurities, many of us are living far below the standard of enjoyment and satisfaction that God knowingly preplanned for His children. This is why we must determine within ourselves, with the help of God, to conquer those insecurities that stop the flow of His peace and joy dwelling within us. Coming to terms with who we are is actually the first step in obtaining lasting joy and peace in this life.

No matter how intelligent and capable we are, everything we do can become difficult if we feel inadequate to cope with the insecurities within us. Unfortunately, life’s challenges, and our apprehension of not being able to meet those challenges, often causes us to focus too much upon those self-doubting areas of our heart. For example, others may view us as a very competent, even confident person. (Insecure people become very adept at hiding their true selves!) But if the truth were fully known, inside we actually feel perplexed and insecure as we are forced to face the obstacles of our everyday situations.

INSECURITY IS A BATTLE WE ALL MUST FIGHT!

The first step in our deliverance is to realize that every one of us is in a battle. Even the most self-confident person will experience insecure thoughts at times. In actuality, every one of us has some form of insecurity, as it is almost impossible to be totally free of worry and self-doubt. The definition of insecurity is a lack of self-confidence or having self-doubt. It is characterized by the belief that we either do not have what it takes, or we lack the ability to accomplish the various tasks that daily confront us. The problem of insecurity affects even believers, and it may also negatively impact how they relate to God. Christians who struggle with this problem often believe that while God may love and help others, somehow they are unworthy of God’s love and help.

Insecurity is a human struggle, which has its roots in the generational iniquity brought upon us by the original sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Insecurity began with Eve, the mother of us all. She was a perfect woman in a perfect world. She had an unblemished, spotless relationship with God and with her husband. She was complete, but even in this perfect environment, Eve failed miserably. Eve’s choice to listen to the serpent not only affected her, but also Adam, and ultimately the entire human race.

We all know the story: Eve was beguiled (deceived) by the serpent, who convinced her to partake of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Adam then identified himself with his wife and also partook of the tree. Adam’s sin was not deception (1 Ti 2:13-14). Instead, Adam’s root sin came about because he did not want to lose Eve. He, therefore, chose his wife’s love above God’s love, and therein lies his besetting sin.

What was the outcome of their wrong choices? Sin came into the world! Therefore, all of humanity must now battle the Adamic nature inherited from our first parents. After Adam and Eve sinned, they immediately knew they were naked. They also knew what it was like to feel and sense fear, which prior to their sin they had never experienced. As a consequence, the human race has had to deal with the insecurity of fear ever since. The perfect harmony that had once existed between Adam and Eve was now destroyed. Peacefulness was replaced with distrust and an insecure thought process. Even more costly was the loss of sweet, innocent fellowship with God. Their choices brought separation where there was once perfect compatibility.

After they partook of the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve knew the difference between good and evil; but this knowledge only brought sorrow with it, as they quickly understood they had failed God. Because of this, a deep sense of insecurity was produced within them, which the entire human race must live with for the duration of this world as we know it. Adam and Eve’s first response after their sin was to feel the insecurity of fear and shame, which caused them to want to hide from the presence of the Lord (Ge 3:8).

Because we have inherited their nature, the entire human race is also prone to cover and hide themselves. Genesis 3:10 actually shows us our fate. "And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself."

For all of humanity, hiding is a result of the fall. Another consequence of the fall is that we must continually battle against a self-centered nature. Unfortunately, it is this nature that greatly hinders us from achieving victory over the insecurities that often leave us stumbling through the darkness of our own human frailty. Like Adam and Eve, many people often feel more comfortable in the dark. Even many Christians are  terrified to face the light of God because of fear, which ultimately means they will keep their insecurities. God’s desire is to bring us into total transparency; but in order to be totally freed from a life of insecurity and fear, we must be visibly undisguised and willing to face the light of His love.

Because this Adamic nature within us causes us to be hiders, we often do not allow our true self to be seen by others, even those closest to us. For example, someone may take cover behind an outward veneer of being a funny, easy-going person. Because they hide behind that laugh-a-minute exterior when they are really sad and depressed, this person is actually wearing a mask of pretense. It is a kind of camouflaged sense of security, where a person thinks like this: If people don’t ever see the real me, they cannot hurt the real me.

In reality, others are often able to discern the facade, seeing very clearly a different side of the person’s nature. So, while believing that people are seeing them as a fun-loving, humorous person, they are in actuality discerning the deep sorrow within this person’s spirit. Many people who are outgoing and gregarious, who seem to have their life all together, are in reality very insecure and fearful of being rejected. In fact, we are all actually very good at projecting a certain image. We all want people to see us as a strong, happy, confident, all together kind of person. This is human and natural, but God is calling us to become 100% supernatural! He is calling us to remove the masks of self-denial and fear, so we can be healed and made whole.

COMING OUT OF OUR PLACE OF HIDING

What is God’s solution to this human dilemma? His desire is to shine His light upon the flawed, deficient areas of our heart (Mt 6:22). We will recognize our willingness to remove the masks when we are able to cry out like David: "Who can understand his (own) errors? cleanse thou me from secret (unconscious) faults (Ps 19:12)." David understood the simple truth that without the divine light of God, he was not able to discern the needs of his own heart. Nor was he able to come into spiritual perfection without the floodlight of God’s penetrating cleansing power working in his life.

This passage, written by King David, is for us as well because, like him, we sometimes unknowingly commit sins through ignorance without repenting, which still need to be covered by the blood of Christ. By now, most of us have learned to avoid those outward sins we did in the past. However, we struggle from within because of secret or unconscious faults. These are shortcomings, sins, and insecurities that we are hiding from others and sometimes even from ourselves.

God wants us to deal with those hidden flaws and insecurities so that we can truly be set free and live a holy life. Facing them is important because a person who is secure is also much more likely to achieve loving and meaningful relationships that last. Obviously, it is more difficult for us to show love or to receive love when we have serious flaws and insecurities. If we truly want to enjoy the love God created for us to enjoy, we must come to terms with these vulnerable areas of our heart, as we seek to gain the victory over them. Gaining confidence over the weak areas of our heart is going to take time. Yet, we are all on this spiritual journey together.

Like you, I know what it’s like to hide and cover those things within me that I don’t want anyone else to see. I know what it’s like to continually wrestle with insecurities and the impossible standards we humans set for ourselves. But in my determination to gain victory over my persisting self-doubts, I have begun to understand the love of God in a fuller measure. Finally, after years of frustration and failure, I have begun to realize that God really is for me. He wants the best for me!

Consequently, as I searched the Scriptures and prayed, God opened up and illumined specific biblical principles that have helped me realize that conquering my insecurities is finally possible. These truths gave me a fresh hope and a renewed sense of purpose. I will be the first to admit that I have not arrived or attained total restoration of my soul and spirit, but daily I am gaining new ground in the area of security and peace. My hope is that together we can discover keys that will help us fully realize our God-given self-worth.

We will need much grace from God on this journey toward healing and wholeness, but if we willingly say yes and gain more and more self-assurance through our journey, we will have a much easier time navigating through the challenges of life. My prayer is that the God of Light will enable us to discover ourselves in a new way, as we seek His guidance and wisdom in order to conquer all insecurity and self-doubt.

COMMON REASONS FOR INSECURITY

Insecurity is a complex subject because there are so many aspects that differ in individuals. Fortunately, there are some general reasons for our various insecurities that when defined and brought to light, will provide insights into the crippling aspects of living with them.

Many insecure people feel that their peers do not really accept them, while others are very conscious of the fact that they do not fit in. As a consequence, they wrestle constantly with feelings of rejection and have an excessive need for approval from others. This produces within a sense of helplessness that hinders them from properly facing their problems, conflicts, and concerns. There is also a feeling of not being good enough to meet the many challenges they must face in life. If taken to an extreme, these feelings bring them to a place where they all too often say to themselves, I can never win. I am a failure!

Fear is a very evident emotion that is resident within many insecure people. Obviously, this can greatly impair their freedom of action or choice. As we have already said, fear makes all of us hiders. For example, many insecure people are continually in fear that they will be discovered as inadequate or ill-fitted to meet responsibilities at home, school, or on the job. This fear also fosters within them the belief that they will never be sufficiently good enough, which can often make them become chronically shy or withdrawn from interacting with others.

Fear also produces a poorly developed concept of self, which creates low self-esteem within a person. This poor self-image makes the fearful person say to himself, What’s the sense of trying? I am never going to get it right. I may as well give up! In spite of all these negative reasonings, the fearful of heart can find comfort in 1 John 4:18, as they turn their lives over to Jesus Christ. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Many insecure people have been raised in families where expectations of them were unrealistic and even harsh.

In this negative, demanding environment, they were daily given a list of unreasonable rules prescribed to them by their parents or other close family members. Consequently, even in their older years, they are still striving to meet this list in their current situations. As a result of their negative environment, insecurity became a stronghold within them because they never received enough positive reinforcement or feedback from others about their talents and abilities. Sadly, this left them always questioning their own competency. When a person has this kind of insecure background, there is a feeling within them that no matter how hard they work to achieve, they will never gain any real recognition. Within them there is an endless kind of striving, which never seems to be satisfied. Consequently, they are always trying to climb a mountain, but never seem to be able to reach the top.

According to Max Belkin, Ph.D, in such cases, the perfect is the enemy of the good. He continues this thought by saying: Perfectionism is rampant in our society and often takes the form of obsession with appearance, achievement, or prestige. It is part of the American Dream—the view that any of us can achieve whatever we want if we just try hard enough. However, perfectionism can also lead to feelings of worthlessness, fear and shame. Preoccupation with perfection tends to go hand in hand with self-esteem. Perfectionists often have a harsh inner voice that castigates them as lazy or losers when they fail to measure up to their unrealistic expectations. This internal critic is always on the lookout for flaws. Perfectionists are often insecure and anxious about falling short of their own standards—as a result, they constantly live in fear of private shame and public humiliation."

Nevertheless, when they learn to truly place all of their expectations in the Lord alone, they will be able to confidently say like David: My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him (Ps 62:5).

Insecurity can often be the result of being raised in a dysfunctional, unpredictable or volatile environment. This unfavorable circumstance continually keeps those who fit into this category on guard or on edge as they are growing up. Regrettably, people in these situations have been given very little positive direction or guidance, which means that they are ill-prepared to cope with the current pressures of their present life.

Because they have not experienced Proverbs 16:24, which says: Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones, they often feel incompetent and have deep rooted doubts about their ability to achieve success. Their dysfunctional home life often produces a defensive, guarded, even sullen attitude within them, which in turn creates difficulties in establishing healthy, long-lasting relationships. People who have had a difficult