Trusting Love

By Billi Jean

Robert McNeil survived in a world filled with death and very little more until...

Kristen Sawyer wanted nothing more than to forget everyone and everything after the death of her daughter. The last thing she ever expected was to find the one man she'd never been able to have or forget—falling at her feet.

When Robert woke up and discovered that he'd passed out from his wounds at Kristen Sawyer's home, he knew he'd found the way to hold on—and to begin again. Now, all he had to do was eliminate the men trying to keep them apart, destroy the toxic drug in his system, and somehow make her want to trust in love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Totally Bound Publishing
• Release date: May 23, 2014
• ISBN: 9781784300197

Billi Jean

Billi Jean was born in California but didn't stay put for long. She's lived in New York, Indiana, Missouri, Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Massachusetts and Vermont. She's lived in and worked from ranches to beach-side coffee shops to the woods in western Massachusetts. Now living and working in China, she continues to write for Totally Bound Publishing. Billi Jean has been writing since high school when she couldn't wait for Robert Jordon to write his Wheel of Time series faster. As an adult, she still finds herself drawn to fantasy-adventure stories, but with an erotic romance flair. Her books are extremely hot, with a focus on strong characters that are shoved into fast-paced adventures. Her unique style of incredible journeys infused with hot passion leave her fans hoping for more.

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A Totally Bound Publication

Trusting Love

ISBN # 978-1-78430-019-7

©Copyright Billi Jean 2014

Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright April 2014

Edited by Sue Meadows

Totally Bound Publishing

This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Totally Bound Publishing.

Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Totally Bound Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.

The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork.

Published in 2014 by Totally Bound Publishing, Newland House, The Point, Weaver Road, Lincoln, LN6 3QN

Warning:

This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has a heat rating of Totally Burning and a Sexometer of 2.

Love’s Command

TRUSTING LOVE

Billi Jean

Book three in the Love’s Command series

Robert McNeil survived in a world filled with death and very little more until…

Kristen Sawyer wanted nothing more than to forget everyone and everything after the death of her daughter. The last thing she ever expected was to find the one man she’d never been able to have or forget—falling at her feet.

When Robert woke up and discovered that he’d passed out from his wounds at Kristen Sawyer’s home, he knew he’d found the way to hold on—and to begin again. Now, all he had to do was eliminate the men trying to keep them apart, destroy the toxic drug in his system, and somehow make her want to trust in love.

Dedication

What can I say? I have to thank everyone who’s ever given me a chance.

Most of all I need to thank Totally Bound for believing in me.

Sue, I’m working on the up, over, down, okay?

E—angst is good, say it with me now!

Tommy—reach for the sky.

Cay—you’re beautiful.

Trademarks Acknowledgement

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

Walmart: Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

Abercrombie & Fitch: Abercrombie & Fitch

Hardy Boy: Stratemeyer Syndicate

Folgers: The J.M. Smucker Company

Ford: Ford Motor Company

Sauer: J.P. Sauer und Sohn GmbH

Corona: Cerveceria Modelo

Jack Daniel’s: Brown-Forman Corporation

Jeep: Chrysler Group, LLC

Mustang: Ford Motor Company

Band-Aid: Johnson & Johnson’s

Carhartt: Carhartt, Inc.

Ironman: Marvel Worldwide, Inc.

Match.Com: InterActiveCorp.

Walther: Carl Walther GmbH Sportwaffen

Gmail: Google Inc.

Yahoo: Yahoo Inc.

Robocop: Orion Pictures

Wolverine: Marvel Worldwide Inc.

Leatherman: Leatherman Tool Group

Martini: Martini & Rossi

Prologue

Robert McNeil stood, watching as the men he’d known most of his adult life headed off. They’d all forced him to make promises, but he knew he couldn’t keep them.

Two weeks from now and his baby sister would walk down the aisle starting a new life with Mac, a man he already called brother.

Two weeks.

That’s how long they’d all given him to fight the effects of the drug changing him in ways even he was just beginning to understand.

Two weeks, they’d said, or they’d come after him.

He wasn’t going to make that deadline or keep that promise.

Daren Scott, a member of his old team, paused at the top of the stairs of the plane and gave him a grin and wave, his woman, Kylie, smiling beside him. They’d both tried to help and for that, he was grateful. But Kylie Chung, once a scientist on the team that had created the N-2-8—otherwise known as the Superman drug to the Sentinels—knew what she’d done to help him was too little, too late.

Oh, she claimed the side effects were reversible and he’d give it a shot as soon as he could, but he couldn’t chance it now. Not when he was this close to erasing every file ever created on the N-2-8.

After all this, sis, I’ll be there for you.

After he found the original formula and destroyed all traces of its existence. Once that was done he’d start his life over again. Explain everything to his sister, and do his damnedest to be a part of her life. Maybe even have a life. All his buddies were creating new lives with women who understood and loved them. Maybe he could do the same.

Kylie and her father had done their part. They’d found and deleted file after file, but the original formula was missing. Until he found the location of that formula, he couldn’t chance quitting the team, starting a new life, or cutting his dosage.

Dare waved once more from the plane, and with Kylie under his arm, ducked inside. Seconds later the door shut.

Besides, alone was sometimes better.

The higher-ups in the new unit still calling themselves the Sentinels had demanded that he pick a few men, but he didn’t trust the organization or most of the men working within it. At one time, perhaps the Sentinels were a covert operation set up as a way for the United States to protect its citizens—and the world—from global war—but now, with their involvement in feeding good men and women this drug, Robert didn’t trust them. Who would? They’d pumped chemicals into individuals without the knowledge of the scientist who had created them.

Dr Chung had been a man with a vision to someday cure cancer. He’d ended up creating soldiers who could withstand harmful conditions and survive. But the government had been too impatient and had used what Dr Chung had developed too soon without any regard to the men and women given the drug. Not only could the drug enhance a person’s ability to survive fatal wounds, but it took away the body’s natural warning signals. So much so that one man walked himself to death after a gunshot wound unaware that he was losing blood. If he’d bound his wound, he could have survived.

Carson, a good man and at one time a SEAL, had stepped in to clean up the operation and for him, Robert would call in a few men to go on this hunt, but only a few, and none of them could really be trusted. Not with the kind of money N-2-8 could potentially make for someone with the right connections.

No one outside of Robert’s friends on that plane could be trusted. The only way the original formula could be missing was with the help of an insider. Kylie and her father were clear on that. Dr Chung had kept his notes on the newer, improved, but still flawed drugs separate, fearing that his work would be used by someone else before he’d tested it enough.

The problem Robert now faced wasn’t controlling the new formula. That formula had been shredded. It was the older one.

The only location of the original formula had been on one computer, deep in the confines of the most secure building in DC. That computer had been breached, the formula taken and the computer—minus the hard drive—burnt beyond repair. But one thing was certain. The older, more destructive formula was right now out there in the hands of someone willing to kill to get it to the streets.

The new group calling themselves the Sentinels had given him the mission to retrieve it.

His personal mission was to destroy it before it could be used on anyone else.

Chapter One

Tazz, the intel has six men in the house, Jansen said through their com link. Two set up as guards outside, two inside. Senator DeRoy is inside with the hacker and the flash drive. The buyer is still unknown, but the possibility of this being the meet and exchange is high.

Robert settled more firmly on his stomach in the snow and scanned the house below with his night vision scope. The two guards outside barely walked the perimeter of the ranch, depending on the acres of wilderness, Robert assumed, to keep them all safe. The ranch was high up in a valley, secluded but not as remote as the lack of security seemed to indicate. His gut said this was it.

More than high, he responded. This is it. DeRoy is there, what we came for is here and the verification that its original is here. The hacker will have to prove something to the buyer. The players are in place, Robert reminded the team. Copy that?

The com link in his ear clicked and his men on the ridge above them sent an affirmative.

Copy that. We’ll nail them this time, sir, Bryson added from his location in the woods opposite them.

Good. This is all we have, boys, don’t blow it. Robert scanned the snowy canopy of forest again, got up off his stomach, and settled his rifle over his shoulder.

It’d been four days of travel to reach this spot. If he could end this now, he might just make his sister’s wedding. Amazing as that sounded, he just might do this. End it, and go on with life without the endless battles. Do I even know how? No more war and death. The thought filled his head more than it should.

The com link crackled, breaking his concentration away from the future. "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can stop freezing our balls off out here in the snow, too, boys," Walters said.

Yes, sir. We’re on it, Bryson replied.

Silence from this point on. We play this like we have no idea it’s a US senator in there. I’ll transfer a pic, just as we discussed. We name him and force his cooperation. If the buyers are set to arrive I want both of you down off high ground and ready to engage, Robert ordered. If things go to shit, we meet back at the nest in two hours. Make sure not to leave any tracks. Wait there until you either hear from me or central picks you up.

Tracks won’t be an issue, Walters muttered beside him.

Rob shot him a frown. He’d chosen the man over the other two because of the three that came forward at his call, he trusted the surfer playboy the least. Better to have a man you don’t trust near you, rather than in an outer perimeter with a scope ready to take a silent shot, his commander used to say

The storm will cover everything for weeks, Walters added with a gesture at the darkening sky.

The clouds were heavy. If they dropped the amount of snow predicted, he and his men might be snowed in for days, possibly longer. Already the trees looked like they’d been dipped in the powdered sugar that his mom used to put on gingerbread houses when he was a kid. A foot or more lay on the ground, crusted over and frozen just enough to break under their feet when they stepped through the newer, softer snow on top.

True. Let’s use that to our advantage if things go wrong. Silence from my count, Robert called softly, his breath steaming in the freezing air.

He moved his focus off Walters and the snow and on to the mission and all the components involved. He predicted a sixty percent success rate because too many factors were unknown. They still had no intelligence on the hacker and they knew nothing about his connection to DeRoy.

DeRoy was easier to place. The greedy bastard would sell his wife to make an extra million. But they didn’t know if he actually had the files with him, or somewhere else. They were reaching, but sometimes a gamble proved worth the risk.

One more scan of the silent woods, mountains and sky, then he held up his fist for silence. The two men flashed the red lights on their scopes and Walters nodded his understanding.

They were all dressed in winter camouflage gear with their street clothes underneath in case they needed both. They had the best technology available at their disposal but Robert would have given his left nut for a simple hunting shotgun and some alone time with the senator in the extravagant house below him. Instead he was guiding a team, with men he didn’t fully trust, into a situation that made his gut clench His instincts were on full alert, not because he didn’t fully trust the men he’d brought in on this mission, but because if the formula was down there, he was close to ending something that had occupied his life for years. And this, the mission to stop the spread of the DNA modifying drug from hitting the market, was too easy, way too easy.

Life never gave easy breaks.

Maybe it does now. Maybe this time things will work out the way I want them to.

Robert kept that in mind as he headed down the barely visible trail, concentrating on not making a sound in the dense underbrush while his mind played out the way this mission would go.

The senator was a lazy man, relaxed in his home like he was some rich rancher without a care in the world. He had two guards posted outside a set of patio doors that led to parts of the house where no one lived. Robert assumed it was so that if the guards were out there, they’d not distract from whatever the senator had going on inside.

Whatever the reason, Walters would take one down and he’d deal with the other. Both of his men on the ridge also had the guards in their sights and would fire if necessary.

Rob had been specific—no casualties unless absolutely necessary. Or the senator looked to be as guilty as hell, Robert thought. If the man was that corrupt, Robert wouldn’t hesitate to take him down. He’d done enough soul searching over the past few years of living in the hell the DNA drugs had put him through to know he wasn’t playing God, he was taking care of things his country needed him to do.

It was what the Sentinels had been designed to do. And one reason he thought that disbanding them was the only option. One man or two man teams shouldn’t decide the lives of others. A system of justice should do that. But when it came to a man like DeRoy those lines became gray. Very, very gray.

Commander Carson’s orders had been clear, though. If DeRoy was trying to sell the formula, bring him in. If he fought and died, well, that was so much the better.

They reached the bottom of the slope opposite DeRoy’s house, nearest to the open window without a hitch. The window had bothered Robert when his men had spotted it. At first. Then he’d realized it was the kid’s window left open so he could smoke weed. That detail had eased his worry about a possible trap.

As soon as he caught his breath, he checked on Walters, who gave him the thumbs-up. He waited to the count of sixty then motioned to the left of the house where guard number one slouched against a wall, looking bored and freezing. Walters immediately veered off to his target.

Robert had the second one in his sights. Both guards were sloppy, as if stealing top secret government information was a cake walk. Walters’ guard was texting, probably a woman. Robert’s was playing solitaire on an upside down bucket. Neither looked like the kind of professional agents assigned to a senator. That made sense, Robert thought. An agency man would not tolerate DeRoy’s betrayal.

When the guard pulled another card from the deck, Robert got in close and struck him with a sharp jab of his rifle butt to the head. The guy went down without a sound. Two seconds later Walters came back into view. They didn’t speak but Robert didn’t need to hear that Walters had taken care of his for him to know it. Together, they circled the house, heading in on the ground floor through the bathroom window the hacker had left open. Not intelligent, but smarts didn’t often combine with common sense, Robert had found.

They quietly headed down the hallway lined with closed doors until they reached an open kitchen slash living room area. Off it there was a closed door that led to a den or office of sorts. The room was large, though, big enough to hold the kind of dinner parties the senator was used to throwing. Of all the senator’s properties, this one hadn’t come up until they’d done some digging into his secretary’s finances. The senator, although wealthy and obviously used to getting what he wanted, wasn’t as smart as he should be when it came to hiding his properties. He also pinched his pennies because if he’d purchased a higher quality security system and better guards, Robert and Walters wouldn’t have been able to breech the house so easily.

Walters grinned when Robert met his eyes. No doubt the other man also saw the irony of the situation. DeRoy was beyond a millionaire and he’d shopped at Walmart for men to protect him. Walters mouthed ‘dumbass’ and shook his head.

Rob allowed himself to crack a smile, but quickly nodded to the door.

All four men were within. The plan was simple. They would stun-gun the two guards, secure them, then talk to the good ol’ senator.

Rob held up five fingers.

Walters nodded and shoved the white camouflage hood off his head. Robert did the same and cleared his side arm as well, while he kept his rifle up and ready. By the count of five they were both primed. The door gave with the first kick and they used the moment of surprise to take out the two guards with their tranquilizers.

Inside the spacious room the other two men jerked to their feet. The hacker’s sloppy clothing and hazardous haircut marked him, while the other man’s business suit and tie put him in a wholly different category.

The hacker shot his hands up, clearly shaking in his boots.

The senator was much cooler.

What the hell is going on here? he demanded.

Robert holstered his tranquilizer gun and positioned his assault rifle a fraction lower than the man’s heart, but kept the scowl on his face. He’d learned early on that his frown got things done most men had to yell to accomplish. His looks had always drawn the ladies, but his remote coolness had worked to drive them off. He used his most pissed off, serious expression now without much effort. His anger was at the dangerous level and he hoped like hell the man didn’t push because the drug flooding him with power also added to his aggressiveness.

Instead of answering the man, he scanned the room, taking in the expensive mahogany desk bigger than most people’s dinner tables, the leather sofas, chairs and more intricately carved tables in a comfortable U shape. A long gray and black marble topped bar anchored one side of the room all the way up to the two sets of floor to ceiling sliding glass doors while the other side of the room was lined with bookshelves and a door leading into a bathroom. Expensive paintings, mostly of landscapes, covered all the other walls.

Next to them, two marble statues of naked women in postures of submission knelt holding up their bound hands. Walters lifted his eyebrows in appreciation. Rob’s stomach sickened at the meaning behind the artwork—or what passed as artwork. He nodded toward the downed men, and Walters went to deal with them.

Rob zeroed his gaze back in on DeRoy, taking in the kid’s still raised hands as well. DeRoy’s face was red, blotchy with anger, and he’d not stopped demanding to know what the hell he was doing. Walters quickly disarmed the men on the floor and took up position by the bar.

I would like to know what’s going on here! DeRoy snarled, really getting himself worked up.

What’s going on here is you are now under arrest for stealing and attempting to sell top secret government information, but you know that, don’t you, sir?

DeRoy puffed himself up and some of the color drained from his face. He couldn’t cover that he’d dropped his drink and spilled some of it on his dark suit jacket, or that his floor was littered with glass and brandy, but he pulled himself together quite easily for an old guy facing a man holding a gun.

I can see you have the wrong idea— he began, stopped, and combed his silver hair off his brow with a hand that shook slightly. With a heavy sigh, he dropped his hand and shook his head at them as if they were unable to understand their mistake. This is my home, I’m—

Hold on, sir. Robert turned slightly from him then motioned to Walters. Secure the kid.

His second in command walked over and bound the hacker’s hands behind his back, roughly twisting him so his arms were at an uncomfortable angle before shoving him down on the couch.

I’d stay quiet if I were you, Walters said when the kid opened his mouth to say something, then quickly shut it. As soon as he did, Walters turned back and raised his rifle back on DeRoy’s chest with another nod.

Rob shouldered his own rifle and met the old man’s worried eyes. Look, I’m certain you’re used to getting what you want, when you want it. A man of your wealth and age has to be, right? He paused but his question was met with complete silence—the kind that some men thought gave them power but really only proved how powerless they were. But right now, right here, I’m the only thing keeping you alive. There won’t be a lawyer, or a judge, or anything to aid you in getting out of the shit you’ve dug yourself into, sir, so I suggest you sit down and we discuss who the buyers are, how you got access to Dr Chung’s computer, and why I shouldn’t kill you.

Rob pulled out his cell phone, scanned the man with it and sent the picture to the men on the hill as planned, then waited.

DeRoy’s face darkened again. What, what are you doing? What do you mean I won’t receive an attorney? Just what do you—?

The phone beeped, indicating an incoming message, and Robert held up a hand for silence. The image of the man they’d sent back was a bit younger, but the congressman in the picture didn’t appear to be as frightened either. The confirmation that this was in fact Senator DeRoy tightened Robert’s anger to an icy rage. Rob tightened his control before he met the man’s furious gaze.

Ah, I see. So, Senator DeRoy, you’ve gotten yourself into a tough spot. You can see why there won’t be an attorney, a case, or a judge involved in this. Stealing from the government, especially information that was supposed to be under review, due to its dangerous side effects, is no matter for the media.

DeRoy spluttered. He didn’t give the old man time. Those side effects have caused damage resulting in mood swings, memory loss, and inability to stem killing rages at the slightest provocation, just to give you a few examples. I assure you personally that the drug is not ready for anyone, least of all the market you’re trying to sell it to.

He let the implications that he had used the drug sink in. The senator took a step away from him then stopped himself when he hit the couch. He looked frantically over at Walters but he must have concluded that he’d find nothing there because he quickly returned to watching Robert as if he might murder him at any second.

The drug, as I’m sure you know from your research on it, Robert ground out with all the sarcasm he could muster, creates blackouts for the men and women who’ve taken it. Some have committed crimes in these lapses, others have harmed their families, while more have been unable to return from the blackout period and have become uncontrollable. You can see why this kind of technology, this type of science, sir, isn’t stable and, more, why it can’t be sold to the highest bidder.

DeRoy skirted the couch and Robert reined himself in, only then realizing he’d been stalking the man. He gathered his calm around him, focusing his mind on getting information and not killing DeRoy. When he had some control, he glanced at Walters, who simply stared back at him, clearly not worried.

DeRoy shook his head frantically, looking from the two of them, then back to Robert with a grimace of fear. I wasn’t, I mean I would never sell something that caused harm to the—

Sir, I find that hard to believe that an intelligent man like you wouldn’t know everything about this product. But that’s not the issue, is it? The issue is simple. I want the names of the buyers.

The senator paled and sweat broke out on his brow, but he remained silent. Robert gave him time to think and walked around the perimeter of the room, checking in on the two silent, unconscious guards and the kid. Walters didn’t speak, but then Robert didn’t expect the man to. At the window, Robert paused. The view of the night sky outside was mostly blocked by his own reflection and that of the room behind him, but he made out the differences in the darkness indicating where the rugged mountains stood in the distance.

These mountains, they can be hard on skiers. Even vacationers with no use for skiing can be lost, never heard from again. Do you see my meaning, senator? Am I making myself perfectly clear? Robert asked, turning to face the old man.

Anger buzzed through his body again, making it harder and harder for Robert to hold onto his gut instincts and not just kill the greedy bastard. DeRoy was responsible for the flawed tanks in Iraq, or should have been. It was his company that had gotten the contract for the armored tanks that were supposed to be designed to protect soldiers in the field, but hadn’t been able to withstand gunfire let alone anything stronger.

DeRoy was also responsible for the cuts in military spending that had cost many service men their life after coming home from combat. The senator’s insistence that the military paid its retired soldiers too much had caused several thousand injured vets to lose their pensions and be without medical assistance.

Meanwhile, DeRoy had siphoned off funds and cut corners on production so that he made the most money he could on the contracts with the military while leaving men and women in danger simply because he wanted to earn a greater profit by using less than optimal materials.

So, this is DeRoy, huh? Walters mused, drawing Robert back from the brink of no return. Sounds to me like you’ve got your hand caught in the cookie jar, huh, Senator? What do you think, Tazz, my man?

Thanking Walters silently for easing the tension in his chest, if not the room, Robert gave the surfer-slash-warrior a narrow-eyed look and nodded to the hacker. Let’s see what the kid has to say. I’m not wasting time on trash. If you can’t talk, sir, your wife and your children will be having their next Christmas without you. And let me assure you, they will be missing you in a lot less comfort than they are used to once word of your acts hit the papers. I believe espionage kills the benefits package, doesn’t it, sir?

Hell, even that hot secretary is going to go without a lot more than she’s used to, Walters added, eyeing DeRoy closely. But if she was with you, she was used to that, in certain areas, if you catch my meaning, he added thrusting his hips to make his words perfectly clear.

Robert glared at the man, but he also noticed that DeRoy’s face went from ghostly white to a red that bordered on purple. If he’d been a decade younger, a hundred pounds lighter and not a

Reviews for Trusting Love

[jkgrage · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

While I found this a well written book I feel it couldn't really decide what it wanted to be. It had a major romance/erotic story line but also a dramatic adventure aspect. I could have used both stories more developed.

** I received this book through Goodreads First Reads.