My Life as a Broken Bungee Cord

By Bill Myers

Classic stories from the Wally McDoogle series now with new designs and spot illustrations throughout.

A hot air balloon race! What could be more fun? Then again, we’re talking about Wally McDoogle, the world-renowned “Human Catastrophe.”

My Life as a Broken Bungee Cord keeps readers on the edge of their seats as one calamity builds upon another until, with his life on the line. Wally learns what it means to FULLY put his trust in God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: Jan 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9780785231219

Bill Myers

Bill Myers (www.Billmyers.com) is a bestselling author and award-winning writer/director whose work has won sixty national and international awards. His books and videos have sold eight million copies and include The Seeing, Eli, The Voice, My Life as, Forbidden Doors, and McGee and Me.

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Other My Life As. . . Books

a Smashed Burrito with Extra Hot Sauce

Alien Monster Bait

a Broken Bungee Cord

Crocodile Junk Food

Dinosaur Dental Floss

a Torpedo Test Target

For other books by Bill Myers, including more of the My Life As. . . series, stop by www.billmyers.com.

My Life As a Broken Bungee Cord

© 1993, 2020 by Bill Myers

Illustrations © 2020 by Thomas Nelson

Tommy Nelson, PO Box 141000, Nashville, TN 37214

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Tommy Nelson. Tommy Nelson is an imprint of Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the International Children’s Bible®. Copyright © 1986, 1988, 1999 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved

Instructions for making a model balloon (pages 27–30) are based on information in Ballooning: The Complete Guide to Riding the Winds by Dick Wirth and Jerry Young. © 1991 Marshall Editions Developments, Ltd. © 1980 by Marshall Editions, Ltd.

ISBN-13: 978-0-7852-3119-6

Epub Edition January 2020 9780785231219

Cover and interior illustrations: Julianne St. Clair

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Myers, Bill, 1953–

My life as a broken bungee cord / Bill Myers.

p. cm.—(The incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle ; #3)

Summary: When he takes part in a hot-air balloon race, twelve-year-old Wally, computer whiz and human catastrophe, learns what it means to fully put his trust in God.

ISBN: 978-0-8499-3404-9 (trade paper)

[1. Hot-air balloons—Fiction. 2. Balloon ascensions—Fiction. 3. Christian life—Fiction. 4. Humorous stories.] I. Title. II. Series : Myers, Bill, 1953– . Incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle ; #3.

PZ7.M98234Mye 1993

CIP

AC

Printed in the United States of America

20 21 22 23 24 LSC 5 4 3 2 1

Thanks to Balloon Adventures—

For a great ride and a great adventure.

Trust God all the time. Tell him all your problems. God is our protection.

—Psalm 62:8

Contents

1. Just for Starters

2. Bully for Me

3. Up, Up, and Away

4. D-Day

5. A Little God Talk

6. Going Up?

7. Going Down?

8. Uh-Oh

9. Tests of Faith

10. Wrapping Up

Chapter 1

Just for Starters

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That’s what you’re supposed to say when you’re falling toward the earth at a zillion miles an hour. And, always being careful to obey the rules, I gave it everything I had. . . .

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I wasn’t sure where I was. I wasn’t sure how I got there. But I had a pretty good idea where I was going. Something about the way the trees, houses, and ground all raced toward me gave the distinct impression I was about to make a distinct impression. The ground and I would soon become inseparable buddies.

Then I heard it. . . .

Hey, McDoogle—hey, Dorkoid!

I looked around. There was nobody in sight. Well, unless you count the bald eagle that was in a nosedive directly beside me.

You talking to me? I shouted over the roaring wind.

You see any other Dorkoids? he called.

I glanced around. He had a point.

So, he continued, you all ready for spring vacation?

I looked at the ground. It was three hundred feet away. It doesn’t look like I’ll be around for spring break this year.

Why not? he asked.

I’m allergic to dying. I break out into a bad case of death every time it happens.

The bird cackled. That’s good, McDoogle—you ought to write that in your next story.

Yeah, I said, glancing back at the rushing ground, but I’m not that fast of a typist.

Too bad.

Listen, I don’t want to be nosy, but exactly where am I—how did I get here?

Get where? the bird asked as he began to preen his tail feathers.

Here . . . you know, ready to die.

Oh, this. Haven’t you figured it out?

Figured what out?

It’s a dream, the bird called.

What is?

This is. How else could I be talking?

Oh, yeah, of course, a dream. Suddenly, I felt more relaxed. I glanced back at the ground. It was still coming at us pretty fast. Uh, listen. It’s been awhile since I’ve had one of these things. I forget, when you hit the ground in a dream, do you feel pain?

Nah.

Good.

If you hit the ground in a dream, you die.

Not so good. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so relaxed. Suddenly, I felt your usual raw, white-knuckled, panic-stricken terror!

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ . . .

What’s that buzzing? I shouted.

My cell phone.

Cell phone?

The bird shrugged. It’s your dream, McDoogle, not mine.

Yeah, but—

Listen, I better be going. Have a nice day.

You can’t just leave me here! What am I supposed to do?

Got me. Though I kinda liked that screaming stuff you were doing. With that he gave two mighty thrusts of his wings and was gone.

I looked back at the ground. I knew I was in trouble when I could count the blades of grass in the approaching lawn, so I did what I did best.

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hey, Wally. Wally, wake up.

I felt a finger jabbing into my ribs. I wished it would jab a little harder ’cause right then I could see the bugs crawling between those blades of grass.

Wally, you gotta see this. Wally, wake up.

My eyes fluttered open. "Mumph umph maz-rab-balla, I said. It was supposed to be, Thanks for saving my life," but for the moment that was the best I could come up with.

Wally, look out the window! The voice belonged to Wall Street, my best friend, a Latina girl.