Once I Remember

By Tara Ingham

Mina remembers everything, and she's pissed.

Months have passed since Mina Hurley regained her memories after being horrifically murdered and waking to find herself risen as a revenant, and Veronica, the fisher responsible, is still in the wind. But not for much longer, if she has a say in the matter, as one of Veronica's most trusted delivers the news she's been desperate and terrified to hear.

With the hunter Jethro at her side, her pursuit for justice pulls her across oceans and into the path of magic she never could have imagined, forcing her to question who she is, who she is becoming and where her loyalties truly lie.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Mar 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9781528960205

Tara Ingham

Australian author Tara Ingham began writing at 14, quickly developing a love for the written word. She went on to undertake a tertiary writing course in 2010 and then study creative writing and literature at University. After graduating in 2014, Tara completed her fourth full manuscript and began editing on a casual basis.

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About the Author

Australian author Tara Ingham began writing at 14, quickly developing a love for the written word. She went on to undertake a tertiary writing course in 2010 and then study creative writing and literature at university. After graduating in 2014, Tara completed her fourth full manuscript and began editing on a casual basis, publishing her debut novel, Once I Rise, in 2018.

Dedication

For my siblings, whom I trust above all others to stand with me against life’s adversity.

Copyright Information

Copyright © Tara Ingham (2019)

The right of Tara Ingham to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781528912679 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781528912686 (Kindle e-book)

ISBN 9781528960205 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published (2019)

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd

25 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5LQ

Acknowledgement

Thank you to the team at Austin Macauley, who have diligently answered my many (likely unnecessary and panic-written) emails throughout the process and have given me the opportunity to share my stories with the world.

As always, thank you to my family, who constantly bombard me with questions and drown me in support, keeping my motivation at a high (and refusing to let me slack off even if I wanted to). A special mention goes out to my sister, Sharna, for being the first to read and offer feedback, despite having no idea what was happening until she’d read the first book too.

Also, thanks to my friends, both new and old, who I have bounced ideas off, oftentimes by interrupting their conversation to ask their thoughts. I’d like to offer a special mention to Jasmine, whom I have been discussing everything about books and writing with for so long, I can’t remember when it started. And Leisha, who has supported me from an ocean away since I first started writing all those years ago. A final mention goes out to Ben, who I promised to acknowledge after 7 years of friendship and countless hours of conversation, during which I spent copious portions rambling nonsensically about my novels.

Thank you all for coming along for the ride, and I hope you enjoy reading Once I Remember as thoroughly as I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter 1

Mina bent at the waist, her hands rested on shaking knees as she tried to hear past the gasping echoes of her own laboured breathing.

Strike. Again! Jet barked as she rose to height, and he deflected the kick she aimed at his side, moving to catch the next attack with ease. You’re too damned predictable, darlin’, he scolded while Mina pouted at him, twisting her wrist to try and break his hold.

How am I meant to beat you, anyway? she grumbled breathily, sweat running down her neck. We’ve been doing this for months and I still can’t land a blow.

Jet frowned and dropped her arm, circling her, If I was Veronica, do ya think I’d let ya win?

Mina grimaced at the name, fighting the urge to follow his circling, attempting to follow his progress by the sound of his footfalls. Even after all these months, the name of the woman who had tortured and killed her still made her skin crawl.

No, she conceded.

Jet nodded, taking a half step back as he came to stand in front of her again. He swung at Mina without warning and she grunted, barely blocking the blow as she struggled to push his hulking arm back and dodge his other arm as it hooked around.

Fight back! he yelled as she continued ducking and weaving.

Fine! she shouted, agitated by his taunting. Spinning low, she tried to knock his legs out from under him and staggered slightly on the recoil.

Jet jumped, avoiding her swing with unnatural ease for someone so enormous.

Mina cursed his hunter reflexes and pushed up, attempting to swing at his kidney as she did so. Jet simply caught her arm again and tossed her across the mat for what felt like the hundredth time.

Is that the best ya can do? he drawled, Texan accent thick and menacing.

Mina groaned as she picked herself up, certain she’d be bruised and was grateful for her revenant healing. Being the risen dead did have some advantages.

With a snarl she lunged at him again, feinting to the side before spinning into a kick aimed at his ribs.

Jet caught her leg and used it to toss her away again, smirking, There’s the fire.

Mina met his bright blue eyes with a glare, his antagonism darkening her already low mood as she charged, swinging her elbow at his ribs while she caught his wrist, attempting to drag his mountainous form down. Instead, Jet used her grip to haul her up, tossing her over his arm and pinning her to the ground as though she weighed nothing.

Mina panted and tried to wriggle free, while Jet casually leaned with his heavy arm across her chest and a wolfish grin on his face.

Better. Ya almost got me this time.

Still wriggling, Mina grunted, Almost isn’t good enough.

Jet couldn’t disagree, but shrugged anyway, It is for now.

Mina glared at him as he released her, standing back to offer her a hand. She took it begrudgingly, muttering a thankyou when he tossed her a towel, and she started wiping down her sweat-soaked skin as her chest heaved, and she tried to regain her breath.

Jet moved to one of the machines, maxing out the weight capacity before he started working, pulling the weight like it barely existed.

Mina watched with a thoughtful frown and wondered how she’d ended up befriending the most lethal creature she’d ever met.

Shaking the thought, she grabbed a bottle of water and sat on the machine opposite him with no intention of using it, Have you heard anything new about her?

Jet paused, holding the bar at his chest height before slowly letting it draw back up and regaining his rhythm. Not much. Like I told ya thousand times darlin’, she went dark. Knew we’d be after ’er. She’ll resurface ’ventually.

Mina slouched, elbows on her knees. I’m just so tired of waiting...

Be glad of it, Jet cut her off with a stern glance, You ain’t ready to face ’er yet, girl. She’d put ya in a world of pain.

Mina tossed him a sardonic glare, Thanks for the encouragement. Much appreciated.

You’re most welcome, Jet responded with a grin as Mina rolled her eyes and stood, turning towards the door.

I should get going. If I don’t get back before they wake up they’ll be suspicious.

Give the Friar and Mister Headless my love.

Mina shook her head, tossing the towel into a laundry basket by the door and coolly walked out of the gym, calling back, Always do.

It had been almost a year since she’d awoken to find herself lost and alone with no recollection of who she was. Just a scared little girl running through a forest, only to find herself trapped in a tower with mad men.

A bitter smirk ran across her face as she remembered the fear and how the elevator caused her anxiety. Such things seemed insignificant since she’d been kidnapped and tortured, triggering the return of her memories and the harsh realisation that it was the second time the same woman had done it to her.

Veronica. A fisher without honour. Like all hunters, she was compelled to hunt and kill revenants like Mina. The innocent who had died horrific, unjust deaths and risen to right those wrongs. But unlike others of her kind, Veronica was willing to murder innocent humans to use as bait.

This had ultimately been her undoing when she failed to stop Mina from rising. Pressing the button to floor fifteen, Mina smirked.

In trying to kill a revenant, Veronica only succeeded in creating the only true immortal in existence.

Mina was still smirking when the bell tolled, letting her out on floor fifteen and she strolled to door eight, unlocking it so carefully she didn’t make a sound.

Creeping in, she eased the door closed, glancing around the silver-blue light of the apartment to ascertain it was still, Johnathan and Wyatt shut sleeping in their rooms. With a relieved sigh, she took a moment to enjoy the view over the city, the solid glass panel that made up the living room wall providing the most magnificent view. Watching the first rays of light peak over the city, Mina collected her clothes, heading to the bathroom to remove the evidence of her extracurricular activities.

Emerging from the bathroom dragging a chain of steam behind her, Mina towel dried her hair as she made her way to the kitchen, aware the boys would soon be up.

Moving through the dark kitchen, she collected a bowl and some muesli, setting everything on the bench as she collected it.

You were up early.

Mina jumped, almost dropping the spoon she’d just collected as Wyatt’s voice sounded behind her. She turned to see his sleepy form slouched at the dining table, his warm brown eyes measuring her with curiosity.

Yeah… she said slowly, I was in the gym.

Ah ha, Wyatt nodded, running a hand through his floppy, sandy blond hair as he sat forward, and that’s why you haven’t been telling Johnathan that you’re sneaking out every morning, he said disbelievingly while Mina crossed her arms over her chest.

You two don’t need to know everything I do. She said defensively.

Wyatt raised his eyebrows, What are you really up to, Gracie? I’m worried about you. You’ve been getting more and more secretive lately.

Mina frowned, turning back to her breakfast as she muttered, I’m not up to anything.

You seem terribly defensive for someone who’s not up to anything.

Glaring at Wyatt, Mina stalked over to the dining table with her muesli and sat down, eating a mouthful before replying, Believe it or not, Wyatt, what I do in my spare time is none of your business.

Wyatt continued to silently watch her eat with raised eyebrows for several moments, then shaking his head, he stood and went to collect his own breakfast, realising she wasn’t going to tell him anything.

He missed the days when they actually talked.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Since Wyatt’s case had been closed, Johnathan had been helping him build a new life and identity. As such, he’d officially become apprenticed to Emnie, working in the morgue. Mina on the other hand was still at the mercy of Johnathan’s schedule, and he’d decided that she’d be best left with Emnie for the most part as well while he worked on her case.

If Mina was being honest with herself, she didn’t care if her body was found anymore. She knew what had happened, and her focus was on finding the monster responsible.

We know how I died, Mina said as she sat on one of the steel benches lining the morgue walls, couldn’t Johnathan focus on getting the person who did it, instead of digging up my bones?

Emnie gave Wyatt a thumbs up as he carefully manoeuvred a scalpel through their subject. Turning to speak to Mina, she said, It’s about more than that, her voice muffled by a surgical mask, finding your body is more for your family’s closure than yours.

Guilt gnawed at her momentarily as she remembered she had family. They’d drifted to the back of her mind in the months since her memories began to return.

Will it really comfort then knowing how much I suffered? she asked quietly.

It will, Emnie answered without hesitation. There is nothing worse than not knowing.

Mina frowned thoughtfully as she puzzled this over. The sound of muscle and sinew being pulled apart jerked her from her contemplation, and screwing her nose up, she announced she was going to wait in Emnie’s office. She left the cold room with a shudder, certain that no matter how comfortable she became in these dank hallways, she would never feel comfortable in the autopsy room.

Retreating to Emnie’s colour explosion of an office, Mina gratefully sunk down onto the couch amongst the multi-coloured cushions and settled in for a long wait before Johnathan came back for her.

Johnathan walked into the morgue with a tired sigh, nodding to the sallow cheeked receptionist as he glanced up over his glasses, faded eyes assessing Johnathan with curiosity.

May I ask, Mister Clark, whether you are well?

Johnathan paused mid-stride. He had barely spoken more than a couple of words to the old man in the years Emnie had worked here, and hadn’t expected to speak many more.

With a sense of wariness, he turned to the old man offering a small nod, Yes, why do you ask?

The man sat straighter, an easily missed spark lighting his eyes, It seems to me one of your disposition should have little reason for weariness.

My disposition? Johnathan asked, cocking an eyebrow, green eyes sharp and wary.

A rough chuckle escaped the man as he slowly stood, shuffling around the desk to stand in front of Johnathan, voice quiet as he looked and said, I have lived a long life, seen many things. Over time, occurrences can no longer be brushed aside as coincidence, lad. I have known Miss Merchant many years, and while my skin thins and body withers, she has not aged a single day, nor have you. With a soft hand, the man patted Johnathan’s arm before shuffling to his seat once more.

Johnathan watched with more caution now; a sense that soon he and Emnie would again move on if even an elderly man could notice.

You needn’t worry, Mister Clark. I hold no ill will to you or yours. I simply wish to see you’ve taken care of yourself. Life – however long lived – is only lived once, and we all must make the most while we can.

Johnathan’s brow creased as he considered this, a spark of appreciation for the man’s concern flickering in his chest, Thank you, sir.

Thomas, Mister Clark. You may call me, Thomas.

Johnathan offered a deep nod, Thank you, Thomas, He said, quietly turning towards the corridor once more, the brief exchange playing on his mind alongside what he had to now do.

He walked into the morgue, his eyes automatically trailing to where Emnie guided Wyatt through an autopsy.

She glanced up as Johnathan paused near the door and Emnie finished her instruction, patting Wyatt’s shoulder as he continued. Stripping off her bloodied medical garb, her long blond hair falling in a perfect cascade, she removed her medical cap and made her way over to Johnathan, concern on her face as she noticed his weariness.

Johnny, what’s…? He swept her into a hug as soon as she was in arms reach and she relaxed against him, pressing her ear to his chest and listened to the familiar sound of his heart.

We found Mina’s body today, he murmured against her hair, It’s taken us almost a year, but we did it.

Emnie pulled him a little closer, giving him a squeeze, Does that mean you can rest now?

On a sigh, he murmured, For a moment.

Releasing him, Emnie took a half step back, Have you told Mina yet?

Johnathan shook his head, a frown creasing his tired face, No. I’m not sure she even wants to be found at the moment. I’m not sure how to bring it up.

Giving Johnathan’s hand a quick squeeze, she said, All you can do is tell her.

Emnie, Wyatt called, having gone as far as he could alone.

She glanced back over her shoulder quickly, then back to Johnathan, I’ve got to help Wyatt. She’s in the office.

Johnathan was surprised by his own reluctance but nodded obediently, watching as Emnie offered an apologetic smile as she pulled on her garb once more and went back to work before he turned to go to her office.

Mina’s eyelids fluttered as blurred memories trickled through her semi-conscious mind, the occasional whimper slipping between her lips as she dozed on Emnie’s couch.

The brush of air as the door swung open was enough to wake her, and she jolted upright, flinging colourful pillows across the floor.

Sorry, Johnathan apologised as he closed the office door, I didn’t realise you were sleeping.

It’s fine. Mina cleared her throat, sitting up properly.

It took a moment for her to take in Johnathan’s tired face and creased suit, his usual five o’clock shadow beginning to turn to day old stubble. She eyed him cautiously.

What happened?

Johnathan took the seat across the room from her, scrubbing a hand through his usually tidy dark hair.

Nothing bad. Don’t worry, He straightened, looking at her with his intense professional gaze. We found your body.

Mina’s breath froze on her lips before, in a whisper, she asked, Where?

Greenmount national park. It was a pretty shallow grave, wild animals managed to scatter the remains so we’re still getting bits and pieces.

To anyone else he would have sounded callous, but Mina knew he was just telling her what she needed to know.

Nodding she asked, What happens now?

What usually would? Johnathan sat back in his seat. We investigate.

What happens now as a revenant? she reiterated.

Mina… he said, tone cautious, let the human justice system work.

She’d had this argument with him several times in the previous months and bit back her arguments, knowing they were pointless.

With a disgruntled sigh, Mina nodded. So how do you plan to investigate?

Johnathan frowned, not understanding what she meant.

Sitting forward, Mina continued, You know who did it and how, when and why, but you can’t do anything because you need to work at the human police forces’ pace. How are you meant to investigate?

Mina, it was the same with Wyatt ...

Oh really? she remarked sarcastically.

Johnathan tried again, voice gentle, I know it seems impossible, but it will get figured out.

Mina gave him a hard look and slumped back, mood dark as she gave up the argument. Are we going now?

With a resigned sigh, Johnathan nodded, standing as Mina bounded from her seat and started winding towards the exit.

Chapter 2

The gym lights were bright as Mina pushed through the doors before the sun was even close to rising. Jet sat on a bench, removing strapping from his fists, a sheet of sweat already covering his skin. Evidence he’d already completed his workout.

You’re early, he hollered as Mina wound her way through gleaming equipment towards him.

I’ve got news.

They found ya body, he guessed without glancing up, I know. Gossip travels fast ’mongst y’all.

Mina lost a bit of her gusto, but heat burned in her belly as she thought about her conversation with Johnathan, Do you know Johnathan’s not going after her? He wants to keep working at the pace of the human police.

Jet was unsurprised and shrugged his broad shoulders, indifferent. This only made Mina angry.

She killed me for bait. It was pointless. She’ll do it again, and apparently I’m the only one who wants to do anything about it.

Jet cocked a heavy brow, and the next thing Mina knew, she was sailing into the closest piece of gym equipment, a heavy ache in her stomach as Jet stood before her with a nonchalant expression.

Darlin’, he started, looking down at her calmly, you’re not the only one. You’re just the only one naïve ’nough to think it’s the right time.

Mina sagged, catching herself against a stack of weights as she tried to catch her breath.

Ready to spar?

Mina muttered irritably to herself, but stood with a pained groan again, Yes.

Good. Attitude like that, you’ve got some tension to work out.

The next hour passed slowly for Jet as he repeatedly knocked Mina down, correcting her form and instructing before again knocking her down as she forgot everything he’d said in the moment.

She had improved. Her resilience and stamina growing along with her tolerance for pain, but he knew she had a gentle spirit, her own pain not enough to spur her to true aggression, and to survive what she was to face in tracking Veronica, she needed to be aggressive, unbreakable.

He needed her to be.

Selena’s fingers brushed absently over the raised pink line that mottled the smooth cappuccino skin of her throat. The gesture had become habit in the year since her throat had been sliced almost to the bone by fishers as they kidnapped a fledgling in Maat’s care. She had long since healed, though. Her voice had returned, albeit a little less smooth than before, and she’d returned to her post as receptionist for the Australian base of Maat, the organisation her sire and recognised revenant leader, Kesi, had founded over a thousand years ago.

Her fingers glanced off computer keys as she worked, administering both reception tasks and monitoring the security feeds. Since the attack, Kesi had installed greater security and upgraded Selena’s access. It was a comfort. Perhaps, if she could see the danger coming in the future, she could stop it.

At the toll of the phone, she gasped, hand lightly fluttering to her throat as she came out of her thoughts and reached for the receiver.

Maat international, this is Selena... yes, I’ll have the... Oh my god!

Her words broke off as she leapt from her chair, senses going into overdrive as a large, greying man with a mess of scars