May I Rebel Please

By Vikku

May I Rebel Please is just a humble, honest and rustic tribute to the college years I spent pursuing engineering and memories made with the friends there. A student’s simple point of view and thoughts on the world and the future. Things we all did and said and thought once, about everything we witnessed in this world with our friends. About falling in love, making friends, studying for exams, about trying to change the world and most of all, about relishing every moment of this life we have with courage and hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: One Point Six Technologies Pvt Ltd
• Release date: Sep 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9789388942126

Vikku

Vikku. That's it. That's all I am. Either just that, or a 9 to 5 engineer and 5 to 9 everythinger!!! Lover of art and music and a traveller on the same paths as the greats, though insignificant compared to everybode else.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Life is simple mate

Ahaan...people are complicated

No, people are idiots

Oh well...that does simplify things

Of course it does

You know people might have the same opinion about us

No they don’t

Why?

They’re not smart enough

And how do you deduce that?

Elementary, my dear Watson

I’d prefer the enunciatory

If everybody thought that everybody else is an idiot, they would work harder to make sure that other people don’t screw up. Since people don’t do so, it means they can’t do so, which means they’re not smart enough to do so. Which means, like I said, people are idiots!!!

But what if people do think that other people are idiots, and just don’t give a damn

Then people are proving they are idiots. Wise men just cannot watch the world going wrong and do nothing about it

Mmmmm... that’s some bulletproof stuff Forrest.

Bulletproof and foolproof!!!

Hahahaha…yeah that too!!!

Helps a lot Bubba…helps a lot. Me and Nu were talking yesterday and some of the tutak tutak tutiya people… you know…media committee people…overheard us. And being the all important all wise philosophers that they are, they thought it was their duty to enlighten us with their insights.

Hmmmm??? What about?

Well I was just saying to Nishant that if Chennai is Chennai, Kolkata is Kolkata, and Mumbai is Mumbai, why isn’t Dilli Dilli? Why is it Delhi?

Whaaaat… I’m disappointed. Don’t you know why? Haven’t you seen the YO-BOYZ…Dilli is for Dilwaaleys, Delhi…or Deli is they call it, is for the DELL-waaleys. Have you a Dell laptop? No…See, simple as that

Hahahaha…well that does explain it. Anyway… we were politely interrupted, and told how it is just a matter of accents. Kolkata-Kalkatta…Allahabad-Illahabad…you know, potato-potahto…we shouldn’t be too pedantic about it.

And?

And that’s the problem isn’t it? I meant that Dilli is a Hindi name. Names shouldn’t change with language. Delhi is not an accent effect, it is an English word. Like Bombay, Calcutta, Madras. If we can do away with them, why not Delhi? But even we Indians with perfect Hindi flow pronounce it Delhi whenever we speak in English. That is not right. It is sad that people think their own language and their own words are inferior to an alien language. When actually, that language has It is origins in ours. Just like India. India is not our name, it is a name foreigners have for us. Our name is Bharat. How many use it? Except the truck drivers and auto drivers with their mera Bharat mahan messages of course. That was the point. Instead I got precious minutes of my life wasted by a pointless argument about accents. By people who probably don’t even know about accents and local north Indian languages as much as I do

Didn’t you two explain to them?

We did. Because we are arrogant basketballers aren’t we? We wanted to rub it in their faces with smiles on ours. I don’t know…be polite and you’re arrogant. How convenient!!!

Hahahaha…that’s the way it is mate. Going by the meaning of common…it is safe to say that Nonsense is the new common sense!!!

And common sense is the new intelligence!!!

People with no idea what they are talking about get to talk out loud. And apparently if you’re loud, you have reason to be proud.

Yup. It is like first you promote prostitution, and then distribute condoms and meds to the prostitutes and call it social service. Everybody has a solution, nobody knows the problem. Everybody wants to raise their voice; nobody wants to raise their standard.

Everybody wants to change the world, nobody wants to change themselves.

And that’s why my dear friend… What other people think, is usually meant for the sink

Hahaha...

Your life is your dish, plate it up as you wish

Hahaha...what’s with the food philosophy…you’ve been having a lot of mess food haven’t you???

Haha…mess food...better miss food than eat mess food

We should do what Gangpuri does

What does he do?

Eats food that the day scholar girls bring

Really??? Brilliant. Why don’t you guys do so too?

Abey chal...

Why...is the food not good enough...or are the girls not good enough!!!

Hahaha...just think the reason’s not good enough. We’re not really starving to death are we...and he makes it sound like we are. As if we’re miserable. Away from home, away from family, missing home cooked meals...so emotional... A couple of girls even told me and Speaking they could bring a little extra food for us too...I mean what’s that supposed to mean... we’re charity cases?

Hahaha...well your Baccha, your problem

Don’t worry, we’ll train him

If we can’t, I’m blaming you mate. You’re the one who brought him here

Hahahaha...what the hell Baba, don’t you knock?

There he was, trying to sop the door from hitting the wall behind, having kicked it open.

I thought it was bolted

So??? You kick bolted doors??? Is that how you knock???

Haan, tu kya kar lega bey Shahi ke....anyway, I need to talk to him. You...what’s your problem???

What happened?

What do you mean what happened? You know what happened? Is something wrong with you? You crazy?

You think so...really?

What’s to be so excited about that?

Well...all the best people are crazy...so...am I?

Hero mat ban

Haha…I’m not trying to, but I’ll take that as a compliment

Shut up you…

What the hell happened?

Why don’t you ask your roomie?

And Shahi turned to me.

Forrest, what is this Anant of the Sharma kind saying?

I think he is trying to say roommate, but maybe that’s not cool enough for him

Hahaha, no I mean, besides that

I don’t know specifically. Ask him

Baba, what happened?

You know...my neighbor...

No we don’t

I didn’t mean you know him...Anyway, he had written BORN FREE on his door. Your roommate here turned it to BORN FREE…OF COST."

Oh hohohoho…oh the my gods...well done mate, high five

Thank you, thank you

What thank you? I told you not to do it again...

Again? What? You’ve done something before too

I might have

You mean you did...you dogiss!!!

That’s a Shahi special you get from well Shahi... Dushyant Shahi…dog is dogiss, monkey is monkiss… you get the picture.

Of course he did…MA ROOM, MA RULES… and all of a sudden it is MA ROOM, MA RULES, MA KI AANKH"

"Hahahahaha…that’s a good one too’’

What good one...you’re both asses

You mean kick-asses??? Yes we are. Anything else???

Come on, Baabey…the word is ‘my’, not ‘ma’ not ‘mah’. I don’t care how it is pronounced, but I know it is written ‘my’. People have to be taught you can’t learn English from pirated movie downloads with stupid subtitles. The kind who’ll tell you they’re bisexuals without ever knowing heterosexual is the word they’re looking for…Speaking of stupid, is every occupant of your floor stupid?

Shut up.

No, no… let’s see. Let’s start with your neighbor. Do you know, Shahi, his neighbor calls himself the dominator?"

Really?

Really…and our very own Baba Sharma here changed it to the denominator

Hang on…so Baba if you do it, it is okay, even if it doesn’t even make sense…and yet you have the nerve to stand here in my room and blame my roommate… hey bhagwan… the hypocrisy

You know what the real issue is Shahi, he’s just jealous he didn’t have the brains to think up of what I did

Nor the balls to do it

"Hahaha…Baba, relax. We’ve done worse’’

What does that mean?

Well let’s say there was a certain MACHO MAN in the hostel, and very boldly had proclaimed so on his front door. And let’s say someone inserted a D in there that changed him into something entirely different.

Oh you bastards, you both bastards...

Judging by that smile on your face, we’re going to take that as a compliment...so fuck you, fuck you very much.

Anything else you ‘might have’ done that I don’t know?

Well not much...except maybe we did lock up all the toilets and bathrooms on the top floor from the inside early one morning...did we Shahi?

Yeah we might have...that was fun. Nobody had a clue for hours...so many people...and so much pressure...and no place to release it. And wasn’t there the night Speaking came up with the idea to call numbers in the matrimonial section pretending to be looking for brides at midnight?

Oh yes, but let’s not do that again

Who’s Speaking?

You don’t know Speaking...Sudhir

You call him Speaking? Why?

Well...Sudhir turns to Sudhira right...And Sudhira rhymes with Kabira...so the dialogue from Hera Pheri, Kabira Speaking turns to Sudhira Speaking...which was too long so we call him just Speaking

Wow...what sensible nonsense...

Oh well, this is college mate, this is the time for nonsense to make sense. Still, better to give people names before they start naming themselves

Yeah. I mean the dominator? Macho man? That’s proof enough people shouldn’t be allowed to name themselves. What do you think Baba will call himself Shahi? The Big Bad Baba?

Hahaha...triple B, brother of triple H.

His room’s already triple A...Anant, Abhinav, Anuj

Oh okay, I thought it was triple Adult rated

Hahahaha…could be…it should be in fact…Adult starts with A, X has been maligned for no reason at all…

And you have to explain to people you’re watching Vin Diesel’s XXX not porn!!!

Shut up

You shut up, actually don’t, answer the question: is everyone up on your floor an idiot?

Haan haan...we are all idiots except you aren’t we?

Glad we could clear that up

What’s the time? Let’s go

Where?

Class

You go, we don’t go to class after lunch

Really?

Well It is one of the benefIt is of being a mechanical engineer

Alright, I’m off

Aur bata Baabey

What...nothing to tell

Oh God...so your floor’s idiotic and boring. Thank God

Thank God for what?

That I was right

About what?

About not living up there

You were up there?

Just for a week, then I chose to shift to down here

Why?

I don’t know, I just had a feeling it wasn’t going to be much fun up there

You...had...a...feeling?

I don’t know...intuition maybe? And judging by the amount of time you spend here, and the number of friends you have down here, it is a pretty obvious truth

So why...why’d you feel so...haan? What happened?

Nothing happened mate, I told you, I just knew

Yeah okay, you knew, but how, that’s all I’m asking

Faces

Faces?

"Yup bro, faces.

Show me their faces show me their eyes

And I’ll tell you where their mind wanders where

their heart flies

I’ll tell you their truths, I’ll tell you their lies…

Or as a great man once said…

"Lafzon se to bas alfaaz nikalte hain,

Nazron se dilon ke raaz nikalte hain…"

Oh Sir...charan kahaan hai aapke...so now you’re a poet too

Not now, always...and aren’t you too?

Achha...is that written on my face too?

"No, on your Orkut profile. What was it?

Anant is my name, a guy so tame...

I forget the rest...what a shame...

No wait…there was something like

My thoughts are simple…

On my cheek a dimple…"

Hahaha...you are a scoundrel you know

Aren’t we all...but it was pretty good...not bad...surely even you can see why we became friends...trust me mate, I always know

Well, yeah okay...but at least my roommates are great.

That they are, both of them: Silent and Murgi

Silent and Mur...is there anyone who has crossed you people’s vision and not been named?

Probably no…and not just people

What do you mean?

You know what we call snakes?

What?

Tan-doley!!!

Haha...okay

And you know musharraf?

Who’s musharraf?

What…what is musharraf…musharraf is that trailblazing phantom insect that no one has seen, that leaves burning marks all over your body where he walks

Well…musharraf is a trail blazer for sure!!! Those marks do burn like fire. And what else?

Not much…just one more. You know there are three types of people in this campus: kick-ass, kiss-ass and red-ass.

Hahaha…I think I know who the red-ass refers to… And they are a pain in the ass!!!

You know Poonia got slapped by one?

What…slapped by a monkey?

Yup. He was talking on the phone. Turned the corner and there it was, sitting on the wall and slapped him!!!

Probably telling him to stop talking on the phone so much!!!

"Hahahaha…perks of studying near a sanctuary!!!

Perks or perils? Monkeys, insects, worms…So, you people plan on renaming any living thing that crosses your path?

I don’t know...we are many people aren’t we? And what’s this you people???? We people…you’re one of us too. You, me, Shahi, Speaking, Gangpuri, Poonia... Siddharth...Silent, Murgi, Jhabu...

Who’s Jhabu?

Surjit

Why Jhabu?

Because he’s from Jhabua

Right

Right and rightly, when you see that Gangpuri isn’t from Gangapur and Poonia isn’t from Pune, and Shahi isn’t really royalty...Jhabu from Jhabua is the one that makes the most sense doesn’t it?

Yeah, I’ve got Gulli as my neighbor

Hahaha Gulli?

Well because he’s so short

And you’ve got Honth Rasiley on your floor too

Yeah yeah...that’s one of the funniest. Honth Rasiley is a dear old friend. But he does have rather big lips

You notice how people who have a less known or unique type of surname are always called by their surnames?

Poonia, Gangpuri, Kandari...hmmm I see what you mean. I had a friend in school called Abhishek Dhusiya... we’d go to his house and call out Dhusiyaaaaaa and then realise mid scream that everybody inside that house is a Dhusiya and then if his mom or dad came out it was so embarrassing...but even his mom one day came out and said Beta wait karo, Dhusiya naha raha hai"...but yeah never really seemed