Afraid To Love You

By J. Brinkley

After years of struggling alone after her husband dies, Stephanie Dennard she is suddenly swept off her feet and finds comfort in the arms of a new man, a handsome smooth talking truck driver named Mike. 

Mike soon moves into the home Stephanie shares with her young daughter, Anita, a teen who possesses exotic features much like her father. LaSonya, on the other hand, looked just like her mother. 

Anita and LaSonya, both, dislike Mike but is their dislike for him misplaced or is there a more sinister side to him that hasn't yet surfaced?

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. Brinkley
• Release date: Feb 2, 2018
• ISBN: 9781393709862

J. Brinkley

About The Author Currently an independent author, Jonas Brinkley was born in Georgia and raised by his mother in Tift County. His writing talent manifested from his teen years and by the encouragement from his relatives and friends. He developed it by taking the relevant college courses that honed not only his writing skills but also his knowledge on various fields like Theosophy and Business. He founded ( Voice Of My Ancestors ) Voma Publications LLC. J. Brinkley's unconventional philosophies about life and love are a gift that ought to be shared with the world via writing.

Book preview

Chapter One

Lightening spider webbed through the dark stratosphere, summoning a low bellied rumble, reverberating throughout the valley. The evening was gloomy and the rain poured down fiercely, making it hard to see the road. The gusty wind blew rain harshly up against the SUV and the windshield wipers struggled to perform effectively as the windows began to fog. He reached to turn on the car’s defrost but that didn’t do any good. Still, Dontae wasn’t at all bothered by the harsh weather.

He was listening to the smooth sounds of Boney James’ Hold on Tight streaming through the Bose speakers in his SUV as he reflected on his family, his day at work and the huge contract he had just landed. Dontae was a very hard working family man who loved his family with all his heart. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for them. They meant the world to him and they loved and adored him just as much.

He had put in a lot of hard work, dedication and long hours at the architectural firm where he worked as a freelance architect. Both he and his family, a loving and loyal wife and two beautiful daughters, had sacrificed a lot over the years and it was finally paying off. He had landed a multi-million dollar contract to design a new shopping mall being built in the city. Yes, life was indeed good. He was planning on telling the family they could finally take that much overdue vacation they had been planning for years but somehow never managed to get around to. He could also go ahead and purchase some life insurance, which his wife, Stephanie, had been asking him to do.

The rain and gusty wind became more intense, making it virtually impossible to see the road. His windows fogged up even more.

Shit! He said out loud, then took a deep breath and exhaled.

His SUV came to slow halt at the red light. The traffic was fairly thick but his vision was blurred by the heavy rain. The light turned green, he put his foot on the accelerator and the SUV propelled to the mid-section of the four-lane street. Bright lights flashed from his peripheral vision.

Suddenly he heard the menacing sound of screeching tires and could even smell the burning rubber as the driver of the oncoming vehicle tried desperately to stop in time. Before he could turn his head to face the moving object that was quickly closing in on him, he was side smashed by it viciously, damaging his body and sending him into a state of unconsciousness.

****

Red and blue lights flashed while police and ambulances occupied the intersection where the accident had taken place. Police officers investigated while the paramedics put the victims on gurneys and wheeled them onto the back of two waiting ambulances.

The detective and two deputies rode out to the address listed on the registration that was inside Dontae’s SUV. When they pulled up in the yard the lights were on inside the house. The area was quiet, the heavy rain had slacked off to a slight drizzle. They strolled casually up the walkway until they reached the front door and knocked three times. A chubby dark skinned woman opened the door wearing her pajamas.

Ah, hello, ma’am. We are so sorry to bother you at this time of night. However, my name is Detective Lawson, the detective politely informed Stephanie while pulling out his Raleigh, North Carolina badge to show her. I would like to know if you, by any chance, know Mr. Dontae Mitchell?

Yes, I do. He is my husband. What’s wrong? Stephanie asked curiously.

The stout detective took his brim off and held it in both hands, feeling a bit nervous. Well, ma’am, I’m afraid to impart this news, but I must... your husband was in a terrible crash over on Jefferson mid-section a few hours ago, Detective Lawson informed her.

Oh my! Is he alright? Stephanie asked frantically.

Ma’am, as of now he is in critical condition. He suffers from a few broken bones and he is unconscious. There also appears to be some internal bleeding. You can go to the hospital and find out his latest condition. He was transported to Mercy General.

Hold on, wait... let me make sure I’m registering what you said correctly. You said he was in a crash, right? Stephanie was hoping this was some kind of mistake.

Correct.

If you don’t mind me asking, what was he hit by? Tears filled Stephanie’s eyes and rolled down her face.

An eighteen wheeler, a Peterbuilt, blindsided him. We’re assuming the driver of the Peterbuilt couldn’t see the caution lights because of the heavy rain. He could have also been texting and driving or maybe he fell asleep behind the wheel. This part still remains a mystery, we’re still investigating. Mrs. Mitchell, you have our condolences. Do you have any further questions?

No, thank you, Stephanie replied, while holding her right hand over her heart.

The detective and two deputies got into their squad cars and drove off in the drizzling rain. Stephanie stood in the doorway until they faded out of her eyesight. Then she closed the door. She placed her back against the door, confused and trying to decipher the dreadful news that was just delivered to her. She began to feel nauseated; she slowly slid down the door until she sat completely on the floor. She started to cry like a baby with her head buried in her palms.

Shortly afterwards, she called her oldest daughter, LaSonya and briefed her on the situation. They agreed to meet up at the hospital then Stephanie placed a call to her older brother, Rick. He picked up after the third ring, recognizing from the caller ID that his sister was on the other end of the line.

Hi Sis, how are you?

Hi Rick. I wish I could say I was ok, but I’m not.

Why, what’s going on?

I just got a visit from a detective and two deputies who informed me that Dontae has been in a terrible accident. I don’t know all the details of his condition yet, but from what the detective said, it looks pretty bad. He was taken to Mercy General and I’m about to head over there now. Stephanie broke down, crying her heart out. As much as she tried to be optimistic, she dreaded the worst.

Sis, try to remain calm until we know for sure exactly what is going on. I’ll get dressed and meet you at the hospital and Steph, please drive safe.

Ok Rick, I will. See you soon.

Stephanie ended the call, then got dressed and drove to the hospital. Upon her arrival, LaSonya and Stephanie’s youngest daughter, Anita, who was spending the night with her sister, were waiting at the entrance of the hospital. They were visibly distraught and extremely worried about their father’s condition. Rick arrived just as they were about to go inside. They all greeted each other with warm hugs and walked into the lobby to the receptionist desk.

The nurse was very nice to them. She picked up the phone and made a call. A doctor came through the emergency room doors immediately, he appeared to be very haggard and weary.

My name is Dr. Davis and you must be Mrs. Mitchell? Dr. Davis asked, while extending his right hand.

Yes, I am.

Mrs. Mitchell, I’ll be straightforward with you. I mean, there just isn’t any nice way to put this..., your husband didn’t survive the accident. We tried everything we could to save him but the damage was much too extensive. I’m sorry.

There was complete silence amongst everybody for a split second while Stephanie and her daughters tried to process what they had just learned. Rick just stood there in stunned silence.

Dr. Davis looked them over and could see the devastation all over their faces. This was the part of the job that he strongly disliked. He took a deep breath to regain his composure.

Stephanie suddenly began to get weak in the knees and it became difficult to breathe. She couldn’t grasp the fact that her husband was dead and her life as she knew it was forever gone.

Dr. Davis, please, I need to see my husband. I need to say goodbye, Stephanie said through tears of agony.

Yes, of course, I’ll show you to his room, Dr. Davis replied.

Momma, we’ll come with you, we need to say goodbye to Daddy as well, LaSonya spoke up.

Of course baby, y’all will, but I need some alone time with him first and then I’ll come get you girls. I just need to say my goodbye to him in private.

Both LaSonya and Anita nodded their agreement then Stephanie turned and followed Dr. Davis back to Dontae’s room, while Rick, LaSonya and Anita remained in the waiting room. LaSonya tried her best to control her emotions, she was trying to be strong for her baby sister.

I want my daddy! Anita began to cry uncontrollably.

I know, sweetheart, I know. Rick tried consoling the girls as best he could. Everything seemed so unreal. He had just spoken to Dontae a few hours earlier and they had talked about the new job contract Dontae had just acquired. Dontae had told Rick that he planned to surprise the family with a trip to Disney World. Rick had congratulated him and they had ended the call with plans for a family barbecue the weekend coming up.

Stephanie entered the cold hospital room where her husband’s lifeless body lay. She shivered and her legs felt like they could no longer support her. She slowly walked towards the bed, took his right hand and placed it in her own.

Oh, baby, I can’t believe you’re really gone.  How am I ever gonna make it without you? Stephanie cried out in agony. We had so many plans, so many things we still had yet to do. She began to pray and ask God for peace, comfort and understanding.  Well, baby, I gotta go get the girls so they can tell you goodbye. Rest easy, save a place for me up there..., Lord, please, please help us.

Then Stephanie kissed Dontae goodbye and went to the waiting room to get LaSonya and Anita.

They entered the hospital room with tears flowing freely down their faces. They walked slowly over to their father’s bedside. Suddenly, Anita threw herself on her father’s chest and cried out, Nooo, Daddy, no! You can’t leave us, you just can’t be gone! We need you, Daddy! Please come back to us!

With tears streaming down her face, LaSonya grabbed her sister and led her and her mother out of the hospital room.

This is too much, Stephanie said faintly.

LaSonya and Anita wrapped their arms around their mother to give her a little comfort. That night became a night that would always stick with them, for as long as they lived on God’s green Earth.

Dontae had always dreamed of retiring and building a dream home on the beach someplace, so a few days later, in a small intimate ceremony with Stephanie, LaSonya, Anita and a few close friends and relatives, Dontae’s cremated remains were scattered at sea, off the shores of Wrightsville Beach in Wrightsville, North Carolina, a small beachfront town southeast of Raleigh.

****

Three years later the sun was out, shining brightly in the light blue sky. The weather was very warm as Stephanie celebrated her daughter Anita’s, twelfth birthday. LaSonya had come over the day before so they could start the celebration early. She and Stephanie were in the kitchen finishing the details for Anita’s birthday party they planned on having the next day.

Hey, Mom, what do you say we start this party a little early?

What do you mean, baby?

Well, I was thinking we could treat the birthday girl to a day of pampering. We could all go get our hair and nails done, even our feet. You know, a whole makeover, head to toe.

"Well baby, I think that’s a great idea. Lord knows, I could use a little pampering myself.  It’s been a rough three years.

Yes, Momma, LaSonya reflected. It has been really, really hard. We’ve had to go through so many changes. We’ve all sacrificed so much, having to say goodbye to the family home that Anita and I grew up in. I never imagined what it could feel like to miss someone so much. Daddy meant the world to me. I’m not gone lie, I was mad. Real mad. Mad at Daddy for leaving us, mad at the driver who crashed into him and mad at the doctor who couldn’t save him. I was even mad at God, cause I couldn’t understand why He had to take my daddy. Why not somebody else’s? I realize now how wrong I was to do that, because you’re not supposed to question God and His wisdom, but I needed answers and understanding that I just couldn’t find.

I know, baby and I wanted to be there for you girls the way you needed me to, but I just couldn’t get passed my own grief. You father was my best friend. He was my soulmate. I got angry with God too. I yelled at Him, told Him how unfair He was to take my husband away from me, but then I had to realize that God loved Dontae even more than I did, even more than you and Anita did.

Suddenly, Anita came bursting into the room full of excitement. Momma, LaSonya, just one more day and I’ll be twelve years old! I can’t believe it.

LaSonya and Stephanie just shook their heads from side to side, laughing at Anita and her silliness.

Stephanie reflected on how Anita had grown over the past three years. When Dontae passed, Anita had become really withdrawn. She would spend hours alone in her room and didn’t want to be with her friends or her older sister, not even her cousins, Kathy and James, who she had a very close relationship with. Stephanie had tried everything she could think of to help Anita but she just was at a lost as to what to do. Even though she was devastated to leave the family home, Stephanie had hoped that the new surroundings would give Anita a new beginning as well. To see her daughter finally happy again was an answered prayer.

Guess what, Lovebug? LaSonya playfully poked her sister in her rib. Mom and I decided to start the birthday celebration a day early. How would you like a day of pampering..., hair, nails, toes, everything?

Really?

Yep, really.

Stephanie, LaSonya and Anita enjoyed a full day of shopping, a makeover and then dinner at Applebee’s. By the time they made it home, at 8:30 pm, they were exhausted and ready for bed.

Anita went to bed that night feeling extremely happy. She had so much fun having a girl’s day out with her mom and sister and tomorrow would be her birthday party.

The celebration began at 4:00. There were friends and a few close relatives gathered around the kitchen table. Rick, his wife, Jackie and their children, Kathy and James, were there as well. There were all kinds of dishes prepared.

Anita stood next to her mother and sister while they all sang happy birthday to her. She smiled widely until they finished the old traditional song then she blew out the colorful candles, which were carefully placed on her double layer, Key Lime cake. Everybody then took their seats and joined hands while Stephanie began to pray to God, thanking Him for blessing everyone to see this day and blessing them with the meal. She asked God to watch over her baby, Anita and allow her to see many more birthdays.

When Stephanie concluded the prayer, everyone said amen. They ate and chatted until they were about to explode.

As the sun began to set, friends and family began to say their goodbyes. After everyone had left, Stephanie and her two daughters sat on the front porch in rockers and watched the stars twinkle in the dark sky. The temperature slowly declined from warm to a cool breeze as the night creatures began to cry out in the woods and the crickets chirped.

Momma, I wish Dad was here, Anita spoke softly.

So do I baby, I miss him a lot. Do you remember his favorite dish?

Sure, homemade lasagna! How can I forget that when that’s one of my favorite foods?

How does it feel to be twelve years old? LaSonya asked.

I feel great, but I’m getting old way too fast.

They all chuckled.

Well, little Sis, being twenty-two, I got you beat by about ten years. Wait till you get my age before you start worrying about getting old way too fast. All I can say is, enjoy your youth while you have it.

Because once you get old enough to start paying bills, you will never stop until you die, Stephanie interjected.

That’s for dang sure. Preach! LaSonya said laughing.

Chapter Two

Three years later the spring season was kicking in and the weather was warm with a slightly cool breeze. The sun was out but hidden behind the puffy clouds as Anita sat reminiscing while she waited for English class to begin. She thought back over the past six years without her dad. It had been a very difficult time for her, she had always been Daddy’s girl. Trying to adjust to him not being there was the most difficult